Sex: Dimensions of My Mind Day 271: Consequence: Postponement

 From Relationship to Agreement

Agreement Course

Female Programming and Relationship Mathematics

My Food Blog

In this blog i am looking at the Consequence Dimension 

I am including a brief outline of the mind dimensions i will be working on

at the first part of this blog for reference purposes.

I am writing self-forgiveness for mind participation  here
and commitment statements
to correct myself - writing a script that will guide me in living life practically

Topic: Sex

Dimensions of The Mind:
Reference:

http://juneroca.com/home/my-process/the-dimensions-of-the-mind/

The Conscious Mind:

Thought: me being touched by the man who i am in a relationship with,  in the nipple

Imagination: the nipple hardening and my jade gate secreting fluid with the hard jade stalk inside my jade gate going in and out in a slow but firm motion alternating with deep thrusts and shallow thrusts that drives me to a point of orgasm

The Subconscious Mind: 

Backchat: (I decided to keep the details of this  private)

Reaction: me satisfied and happy feeling ecstatic- like a complete woman

The Unconscious Mind:

Body Movement/Behavior: my head turning right and left, screaming intermittently, gasping for my breath

Consequence: seeing that i am physically abused yet because of the positive energy experience within sex, stayed in the relationship further -  delaying me taking self-responsibility, compromising the body 

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I am doing self-forgiveness and writing a commitment to correction script in this blog

specifically on the Consequence Dimension.

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Self-forgiveness Statements:

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to 

participate in the design of 'fear of survival - as the physical/body - as sex - as positive energy'

fear that i will not have good sex  

if i leave DRD

so desires to stay with DRD 

for the positive energy experience that i get from sex

taking myself, my life and my relationship to responsibility

to an instance of taking it too far

where i reported the physical abuse to the 'authorities'

but did not live separate from him

believing he will change

and waited until he gives up on me

before i took self-responsibility

compromising the health of the fetus within my womb

compromising my body/physical 

within being physically abused by him 

take my desire for good sex to take precedent

over taking self-responsibility for myself, my life

the body.physical and the life of the baby

compromising the life of the fetus in my womb

compromising the condition of my physical body

compromising my neck and my head

that took the beating

of when he pulls my hair in jealousy

and as he push me to the sofa

or push my head against the wall

through this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to

doubt who i am the one having good sex 

or the one that doesn't 

believing that i will not be a complete woman without good sex

through this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to

blame the physical for creating men that can give me good sex 

and creating men that gives me bad sex

not seeing and realizing that i defined sex within good and bad 

so i am taking self-responsibility 

i am providing a solution to the problem and no one else

through this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to

have the excuse that i have to survive as a complete

female that is having good sex with a male

through this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to 

justify this by believing that

i  have to be whole and complete 
as a female having positive energy experience

within sex
ais how i defined myself as a complete female

not seeing and realizing that that is balance in polarity

and that real wholeness does not need separation from the source

I forgive myself that i haven't accepted and allowed myself to 

see and realize the implications of my relationship to consequence

that i have not grown to be able to take responsibility 

for the consequence 
i directly created in my own life 

hiding from it within my mind

creating additional personalities

rather than having to face myself

in my own life to actually stand up and change

I forgive myself that i haven't accepted and allowed myself to 

react in fear, guilt, regret and shame

to the consequence i created

in my world 

to instead of looking at  those reactions

forgiving myself, comiting myself to stand and change

i further manifested personalities

reacting by saying  'i don't care'

manifesting the 'i don't care' personality

trying to suppress my relationship and reaction to consequence
believing everything is going to be alright
that he will change
that he loves me
and that he will change

as if i am hiding from myself 
self-dishonest about what is really going on
not letting go of that desire for good sex
instead, letting go of myself, my life

hiding the fact that 'i did this to myself'

that i have to clean up and take responsibility

for the mess i have created in my life 

 I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not stand up and change but instead created a mind relationship with consequence

utilizing my life to create more consequence

creating more characters to evolve the mind

instead of facing it

where i cannot even take responsibility for my own life

at the moment the first consequence manifested

going for the good feelings - within sex

reflecting the nature of who i have become

as what humanity has become as a whole

where we cannot take responsibility

manifesting consequence on a global scale

refusing to see it

entertaing ourselves with 

small happiness and love in our minds

while the masses remain in poverty 

at the sideline
while young children are being abused for sex - because of lack of money
while others have billions 
where most of the money in this world belongs to the 1%
and 99% is being abused in the name of money
in the name of survival

creating the living hell within our midst

that we are accepting and allowing 

ourselves to create

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Commitment to Correction: Script

I commit myself to when and as i see myself participating in postponing

taking self-responsibility - to really have a look at opportunities that

have slipped through my fingers 

and so commit myself to face it 

and live my self-directed will

no more accepting to evolve the mind 

of consequence

to instead align myself to practical living solutions

I commit myself to see

that

i made myself believe that in suppressing consequence

and creating more personalities

that the consequence will just disappear

instead of realizing that all i have to do is face 

the consequence and own up to it

and establish practical solutions

so that i wont create additional consequence in my life

I commit myself to no more create within my life

situations where i do not look

where i just follow blindly

because something or someone gives me a

positive energy experience

to rather rewrite the book that is myself

within myself and commit myself to

practically applying them

I commit myself to care 

for my physicalbody

knowing that this is the gift of life

that is allowing me to move myself

to express myself

to rather than compromise it 

within my desire for positive energy experiences within sex

to instead develop a one and equal relationship with it

and to take care of fetus within my womb when i have it 

and to care for it as myself 
and instead of desiring positive energy within sex
physically interact with my agreement partner
as who i am as breath
enjoying my expression
as who i really am
within physical movement
and instead of screaming in ecstasy
assist myself to accept and allow me 
to birth myself within/as
the primal scream of life
birthing me as the physical - within sex/physical interaction