The Cat Abortion & Sex

 

The Cat Abortion & Sex

I saw this cat's picture (above) in  one of the social media platforms which was taken by a friend.  When i looked into its eyes, i experienced a sharp pain on my chest. I did some self-forgiveness and it subsided. So, in this blog i would like to look at some points that i saw that i connected to this picture in my mind. 

Forgiving Myself

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to - as aa parent, aborted my child when i was married with a guy and i did that because i was struggling then and we were in a very small apartment, so it was my fear that i cannot raise my kid properly without enough money plus other factors around that that drove me to do that.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to marry a guy because he was good in bed - meaning he can give me pleasure and that is because i find the world so cruel but i dare not talk about it - within dishonesty

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge a guy that gives me pleasure in bed as superior - charging that with a positive energy experience

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge guys that do not give me pleasure in bed as inferior - charging that with a negative energy experience

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to stop myself from touching myself having judged myself as weird if i do that

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to suppress myself within sexual expression blaming my culture and then use men to experience pleasure 

Commitment To Correction

When and as i see myself abort a child - fearing not being able to raise it because i did not have money, i stop - i breathe. I realize i saw relationships as having someone to give me pleasure 

Rather than see  that the basis of relationships is self-relationship and that sex is having physical interaction with someone as an equal 

I commit myself to see relationships as what it really is. 

I commit myself to see sex as what it really is