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Thursday, January 17, 2013

Guru Mathematics 7 Longing Part 5 Day 239: Power

 




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My Food and Nutrition Blog Site:
http://foodandnutritionjunejourneytolife.blogspot.com/
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STORE
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The Mathematics of Life
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The Guru Mathematics
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This is a continuation of Part 4

I will highlight the dimension i am working on in this blog with the color pink 



Topic: Self-forgiving me and correcting me in my living application standing equal with the mind - realizing i can only change/stop that which i am equal to/as - stopping mind participation to birth me here as equal to/as all Life

Specific Point: 'My Mind Relationship with the Guru'
What is Self-forgiveness?



Why am i using Mathematics?
I am using mathematical symbols to illustrate how i gave mind values instead of giving  real values as the value of every manifestation as equal to the value that is Life 

The Dimensions of the Mind:

Fear: Fear of not being able to go to India and see the guru


Conscious

Thought : picture of me standing with wide eyes listening to the monk telling me i have to see Baba (the guru)

Imagination: 'me feeling something different/feeling blissful when i see him'

Reaction: Wonder

Subconscious
Backchat: 'there must be some magical feeling being with the guru'

Unconscious
Body Movement: upper part of chest feeling warm. eyes opening wide

Consequence: learning from how i developed a relationship with the guru  - within existing as an energy experience  that i believed was real when it is in fact existent within a relationship that is coming from a MIND simulated version of reality as the physical body and this physical existence.
Facing the consequence and breathing through it as i stand and change and birth me here as who i am

Intoducing The Quantum Mind

Introducing The Quantum Mind ( System) Systemization

Backchat
'There must be some magical feeling being with the Guru' 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the design of/as
'fear of survival - as positive energy - as power'
 exist within a backchat of
'there must be some magical feeling being with the guru' 
taking the thoughts and imagination further and having internal conversations within my mind
using words separate from me
having energetic definitions

seeing through my mind's eyes 
seeing the guru as more than  me

fearing to be the ego
desiring to be self-realised

fearing to be powerless
desiring to be powerful

defining myself within power and powerlessness

Through this
I  forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to
define myself within power and powerlessness
where i feel useless and helpless 
needing someone to give me back my power as self
 to make me transcend the mind
 pitying myself 
feeling that i have split myself into 2 
the self and the mind
and does not know what to do
uncertain about my future
 doubting if i can ever be the self again


believing that i have done so many things in this life and the past life
believing i will not be able to transcend the mind myself
powerless

uncertain about WHO I AM

believing that i do not know what to do to transcend the MIND
believing what i heared the guru said
 that he will give the devotees liberation
if the devotees will do what he instructed us - the 'devotees' to do
doing what he said 
which is to

meditate daily
do yoga exercises daily
follow the 16 points
go to dharmacakra weekly
eating sentient food (vegetarian food without onion, garlic, mushroom etc.)
yama and niyama
doing or yoga postures daily
do social service etc.

believing that because he can do these feats:

he can raise a boy from death to life and i can't
he can transform carnivorous food into vegetarian food  and i can't
he can make the stick smell like flowers and i don't
he knows my future and i don't

believing that he can take my 'samaskara or karma' 
believing he is the only one that can save me from my  'bad deeds'
believing that he can give me liberation from bondage

so equated his name to 
liberation from the ego and eternal life

'surrendered unto his feet'
believing it is an act of 'unconditional love'
not realizing what's driving me 
was my FEAR of my own mind and not being able to control
 the thoughts, reactions, backchats etc.

where within this i am suppressing myself
and my expression
making myself inferior and powerless
all because of FEAR of taking self-responsibility for 
me as the mind 
as who i have become

 possessed by FEAR of myself 
i took refuge and became a devotee of a guru
anandamurti
giving up on my self 

as the evil me
within my mind as the simulated version of me
doubting, fearing, inferior, powerless, giving up
 self suppressing me, blaming, justifying etc.

Through this,

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to
doubt myself 
seeing myself as powerless, useless and helpless

Through this

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to
form a relationship with fear of my mind
making myself less than the mind
not realizing i defined myself into existence within the mind
then i made it real by living my limited definitions of myself
 feeling useless, powerless and helpless
so i will not take self-responsibility
the evil me giving up on me

so i can just surrender to the guru and not have to self-forgive 
and face that which i accepted and allowed in this world
and correct myself in my living

blaming the physical for creating the guru as superior and me as inferior
within spite

Through this 
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself
 to give up on myself by surrendering to the guru
believing that that is an act of unconditional love
not seeing and realising that it is 
self-suppression

Through this
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself 
to suppress who i am in my expression 
by surrendering to the guru
making the excuse that i have to survive 
and get liberation - so i need to surrender to the guru 
justifying that by saying
'i need to be whole - so i have to see the guru - get his blessing as he will make me whole'

seeing through my mind's eyes 
defining wholeness and power within a polarity point
of powerlessness and power

rather than wholeness as balance 
where i take self-responsibility for all parts of me
looking at how i created my mind as 'my within' 
and 'my without' as this world system

writing,  self-forgiving, correcting and birthing myself here 
as who i am 

not seeing and realising that who i am is here
in every moment of breath
able to take self-responsibility 
able to direct myself
able to look at how i created my mind
able to self-forgive
able to be humble and look at the evilness of me
able to be patient with myself
and lift myself up everytime i fall
able to start all over again
able to look at my life, the events, the time line, the memories, the past 
and bring it back here to see what i have accepted and allowed 
in 'my within' as the mind
and 'my without' as this world system
and correct myself 

able to trust me
able to love myself unconditionally
able to be intimate with/as myself
able to birth myself as LIFE
able to be with the pulse of my heart
able to be the breath here
able to assist in establishing a world that truly honors life based on equality

So, i commit myself to
when and as i see myself 
having a backchat or internal conversation
about anandamurti or any guru or anyone who i see as more than me - i stop - i breathe

I realise that the phsyical/body of the guru is made up of atoms and my body/physical is made up of atoms
so we are equal to/as all that is here
 as the atoms on this earth
each one expressing oneself 

I commit myself to assist myself to 
accept and allow me to bring myself here in the physical
and stay with the pulse of my heart

I assist myself to instead of fearing others 
and giving them value more than life
seeing them through my mind's eyes as 'powerful'
seeing me as powerless
and within a concept of wholeness or balance within polarity
make myself powerful 
believing that by seeing the guru and surrendering to him/his perceived power
i will also gain power over my mind
believing he will magically remove my 'samaskara or karma'

I commit myself to assist myself to 
see through my physical mind's eyes 
to birth me here within
wholeness or balance as physical balance


and assist myself to accept and allow me 
to glide into the depths of my physical body
as i breathe in, pause, breathe out, pause
and assist myself to accept and allow me 
to be intimate with my expression
evolving that expression into physical living
expressing me here as who i am 

I commit myself to through writing,  self-forgiveness and self correction 
in every moment birth myself here 
as who i am 
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The Mathematics of Giving Positive and Negative Mind Values

Vs
Giving values equal to Life

I realise i gave the guru value more than Life

as i fear being powerless i desire someone who has power
and so believing he has power

 'gave the following
mind values to
the Guru and Myself'


'Guru = can bring boy from death to life
Guru = can transform carnivorous food into vegetarian food
Guru = can remove my samaskara or karma
Guru = can make a stick smell like flowers 
Guru = knows my future
etc.

Guru = Powerful = +100

June = cannot bring boy from death to life
June = cannot transform carnivorous food into vegetarian food
Guru = cannot remove samaskara or karma 
June = cannot make stick smell like flowers
June = does not know the future
etc.

June = Powerless = -100' 

Not realizing the mind values i am giving are NOT REAL

 as i made them up within my mind

from a starting point of FEAR


Fear of being powerless, useless and helpless and so imagined and thought of the Guru as powerful


Then, i lived the illusion 

as i as who i have become - as an animated illusion 
Lived in 'Bliss' within my mind

blind to what is really happening in
 this world
and the poverty and the suffering that is here
trying to do charity
believing that by giving some 'unfortunate' people
this world will change
not realizing that as i do charity
i use the engine of the system
so still supports the system of abuse in this world of inequality

 as the evil me  existing 
in an alternate reality within my mind
where only Bliss exist
 comfortable and happy
within my mind
not assisting in establishing a world that truly honors life based on equality

Not realizing 


that my body/physical consists of  atoms

and the Guru's body/physical consists of atoms

Guru's body/physical =  consists of atoms
June's body/physical = consists of atoms

and essentially we are equal


Guru = Life
June = Life

So, we have to live as equals

as all Life



 

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