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My Food and Nutrition Blog Site:
http://foodandnutritionjunejourneytolife.blogspot.com/
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My Partner's Blog
Birthday Is Doomsday
In this blog, i am looking at birth day and dooms day
within who i have become
as 'fear of survival' - to through writing, self-forgiveness and self corrective application
birth me here as all life
standing for what is best for all and assisting in
===
My Self-forgiveness
to think :
'my birthday is a special day of the year but i fear what awaits me when i die'
within this thought activating an entire character/personality
desiring to survive
fearing to see my own birth day and death day on that marble slab
in the cemetery
making sure that i will stop 'death from arriving at my door'
by seeking the 'moreness of me' through spirituality
where
death = suffering
death = pain
death = restriction
death = control
death = unknown
not realizing I can birth me here as life
not realizing that
my fear of being inferior
my fear of suffering
my fear of pain
my fear of death
and my fear of not surviving
is driving me to desire eternal life
as i classified myself
as
a human that dies
a human that is not self-realized
a human that is not a guru/master
a human that has no group/followers
a human that is inferior
within/as my mind
based on my fears
giving myself a mind value that is less than life
based on my fears
and then become a follower of a guru
in Ananda Marga
as for example
'June Roca = not self realized / not a guru = no following = human that dies = -10'
AnandaMurti = gurus/master = self-realized = they have many followers = human that transcended death = +10
desiring to survive
where this one day
becomes a special day
believing it is special as it is the day i was born on this earth
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself
'as fear of survival'
imagine celebrating my birth day receiving gifts
and being with family
smiling, laughing, talking, eating, hugging friends etc.
believing that day is better than another day
within/as my mind as i time travel in different compartments within my mind
thinking, imagining, having internal conversations, reacting, behaving
trapped in space and time
connecting days to positive and negative energy experiences
classifying days
according to how i experienced it within/as my mind
where i gave mind values to days
making my birth day special
giving it a mind value less than Life
as for example
BIRTH DAY = +10
celebrating my BIRTH DAY every year
believing it is a happy day
believing i am a special individual
believing one day i will save everyone
within that
believing other parts of life
are separate from me
separating myself from all
within/as my mind
thinking they are normal and i am special
not seeing and realizing i am here as breath in every moment
not realizing all is here as breath in every moment
not realizing
All = Life
through this, i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself
'as fear of survival'
fear that day when i will die
fearing DEATH DAY
fearing DOOMSDAY
giving it a mind value that is less than life
DOOMs DAY = -10
giving a value to that which i believe is the end day as less than Life
not realizing 'day' is a word that i connected
to birth - as Birthday
and death - as Date of Death (or Doomsday)
as i have given the word 'birth' a value = +10
i gave the word 'death' a value = -10
not realizing i can redefine the word day and use it as equal to my expression as who i am as Life
and instead of giving a positive or a negative mind value to the word
birthday and doomsday see that they are words that i can use in my written and spoken
expression equal to who i am
I firgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself
'as fear of not surviving'
to think:
'i don't like that experience of not being able to move when i die in that casket under the ground'
and in this thought activate a character or personality
fearing not being able to move
giving 'movement and no movement' mind values
'more than and less than' life respectively
as for example
people and animals = capable of movement = +10
plants = not capable of movement = -10
matter = not capable of movement = -10
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself
'as fear of not surviving'
think:
'i don't like the experience of me not being able to speak when i die with no one to talk to under the ground'
fearing not being able to speak
giving 'speaking and not speaking' mind values
'more than or less than' life respectively
as for example
===
humans = capable of speaking a language i can understand= +10
plants = not capable of speaking a language i cannot understand = -10
animals = not capable of speaking a language i can understand = -10
matter = not capable of speaking a language i can understand = -10
where
not being able to move = death
not being able to speak = death
where
not being present on earth laughing with others = death
not being able to move = death
not being able to talk and interact with humans etc. = death
Not realizing these are mind values that are not real
Not realizing life is not defined by speaking a language as sound based on frequency
not realizing who i am as the hereness of sound
not realizing who i am as sound of silence
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself
'as fear of survival'
imagine celebrating my birth day receiving gifts
and being with family
smiling, laughing, talking, eating, hugging friends etc.
believing that day is better than another day
within/as my mind as i time travel in different compartments within my mind
thinking, imagining, having internal conversations, reacting, behaving
trapped in space and time
connecting days to positive and negative energy experiences
classifying days
according to how i experienced it within/as my mind
where i gave mind values to days
making my birth day special
giving it a mind value less than Life
as for example
BIRTH DAY = +10
celebrating my BIRTH DAY every year
believing it is a happy day
believing i am a special individual
believing one day i will save everyone
within that
believing other parts of life
are separate from me
separating myself from all
within/as my mind
thinking they are normal and i am special
not seeing and realizing i am here as breath in every moment
not realizing all is here as breath in every moment
not realizing
All = Life
through this, i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself
'as fear of survival'
fear that day when i will die
fearing DEATH DAY
fearing DOOMSDAY
giving it a mind value that is less than life
DOOMs DAY = -10
giving a value to that which i believe is the end day as less than Life
not realizing 'day' is a word that i connected
to birth - as Birthday
and death - as Date of Death (or Doomsday)
as i have given the word 'birth' a value = +10
i gave the word 'death' a value = -10
not realizing i can redefine the word day and use it as equal to my expression as who i am as Life
and instead of giving a positive or a negative mind value to the word
birthday and doomsday see that they are words that i can use in my written and spoken
expression equal to who i am
I firgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself
'as fear of not surviving'
to think:
'i don't like that experience of not being able to move when i die in that casket under the ground'
and in this thought activate a character or personality
fearing not being able to move
giving 'movement and no movement' mind values
'more than and less than' life respectively
as for example
people and animals = capable of movement = +10
plants = not capable of movement = -10
matter = not capable of movement = -10
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself
'as fear of not surviving'
think:
'i don't like the experience of me not being able to speak when i die with no one to talk to under the ground'
fearing not being able to speak
giving 'speaking and not speaking' mind values
'more than or less than' life respectively
as for example
===
humans = capable of speaking a language i can understand= +10
plants = not capable of speaking a language i cannot understand = -10
animals = not capable of speaking a language i can understand = -10
matter = not capable of speaking a language i can understand = -10
where
not being able to move = death
not being able to speak = death
where
not being present on earth laughing with others = death
not being able to move = death
not being able to talk and interact with humans etc. = death
Not realizing these are mind values that are not real
Not realizing life is not defined by speaking a language as sound based on frequency
not realizing who i am as the hereness of sound
not realizing who i am as sound of silence
fearing to see my own birth day and death day on that marble slab
in the cemetery
making sure that i will stop 'death from arriving at my door'
by seeking the 'moreness of me' through spirituality
where
death = suffering
death = pain
death = restriction
death = control
death = unknown
not realizing I can birth me here as life
not realizing that
my fear of being inferior
my fear of suffering
my fear of pain
my fear of death
and my fear of not surviving
is driving me to desire eternal life
as i classified myself
as
a human that dies
a human that is not self-realized
a human that is not a guru/master
a human that has no group/followers
a human that is inferior
within/as my mind
based on my fears
giving myself a mind value that is less than life
based on my fears
and then become a follower of a guru
in Ananda Marga
as for example
'June Roca = not self realized / not a guru = no following = human that dies = -10'
AnandaMurti = gurus/master = self-realized = they have many followers = human that transcended death = +10
where instead of facing this fear
self-forgiving myself for the fear
and correcting myself in my moment by moment
breath by breath living application
i instead 'seek the moreness of me' in the opposite polarity
forming a desire to skip death and live eternally
and being a follower of a guru
believing he will liberate me from the ego
not realizing i am the creator of my 'within' as the mind
and 'my without' as this world system
and being the creator and the created i am self-responsible
for all the consequence i have created both 'within and without'
Through this, i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself
'as hope' to hope that i can transcend death
not realizing death is a certainty
as the body expresses itself
as physical/substance which just like matter transforms itself
from one state to another
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself 'as hope'
to HOP from one E-nergetic experience to the next
believing i am defined by energy
believing i am expressing me here within
happiness and sadness
believing birth is a beginning of life, movement and positive energy experiences
and death is the end of life, end of movement
believing that death is the start of a negative energy experience
into the unknown
the darkness
believing i am not safe in the unknown
Through this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself
'as fear of survival'
to fear the unknown
fearing darkness
fearing the danger within what is not known
as i defined myself within
information and knowledge separate from me
downloaded from my father and mother
as genes
as codes
that i accepted and allowed
trapping me as who i am
within information and knowledge
that formed the platform of my personality/character
within/as my mind
thinking i am a unique individual
by virtue of those genes
believing that my mom and dad are unique individuals themselves
not realizing that they were downloaded genes
from many generations back
not realizing that they too have genes
DNA coded with information and knowledge
from where they evolved their personality/character
Through this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself
'as fear of the unknown''
to fear not having all the information
i need regarding what happens after i die
so fear death
and within this
instead of forgiving my self-created fears
i desire information and knowledge separate from me
from gurus/masters
not realizing that this is my fear of death
my fear of not existing
my fear of the unknown that is driving me
to seek for explanation about
who i am
where i come from
why i am here
not realizing i am here as breath in every moment
i simply live as who i am
equal to all that is here as life
I forgive myself 'as fear of the unknown'
desire for information and knowledge
from books, talks, from school, internet, gurus/masters/aliens etc.
as i desire to have my life have a meaning/purpose/goal
something that i can work towards to evolve me as the mind
not realizing that i give meaning to all parts of me as life
not realizing i have to assist myself to stop giving them values more than or less than life
to instead give all parts of me a value equal to life
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself
'as fear of survival'
to fear existing without positive, neutral and negative energy experiences
to fear existing without memories
fear existing without happiness and sadness
fear existing without knowledge and information
FEARING THE END of me as consciousness
FEARING DOOMSDAY
Desiring to LIVE FOREVER
DESIRING to have ETERNAL LIFE
to evolve me as the mind
within CONFLICT and FRICTION
defining me within
positive, neutral and negative energy experiences
as who i have become as the mind
as who i have become as energy
as who i have become as consciousness
resourcing physicality/substance
transforming physicality/substance to energy
for me as the mind to exist
for me as energy to exist
for me as consciousness to exist
as the evil me
within self-interest
within fear of not surviving
within fear of not existing
fearing living as who i am as life
fearing standing for what is best for all life
fearing taking self-responsibility for all of me as life
fearing living as who i am as all Life
fearing establishing a world that truly honors life
based on equality
fearing living as who i am as physicality/substance
FEARING LIFE as who i am as all
DESIRING LIFE as who i have become as energy
within conflict and friction
for me as the conscious, subconscious, unconscious mind to exist
based on positive and negative energy experiences
defining myself within memories
defining myself within time
as the past, present and future
not realizing i am here as breath referencing the moment
in this physical existence
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself
'as fear of survival'
to define myself
within information and knowledge
celebrating the beginning of acquiring the information passed on to me
by my mother and father and their mothers and fathers
and the ones before that
many generations back
as who i have become as a personality/character
defined by information and knowledge
downloaded into my DNA
not realizing that as i celebrate my BIRTH DAY
i am celebrating the Day i have acquired these codes
these information
that i defined myself as
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself
'as fear of not knowing'
desire to know
desire to have information so i will know
so i can evolve me as the mind
as i defined people who has a lot of information as
having a value more than life
Knowledgeable people (people that knows more) = more chances to land a job or start a business = more money = +10
People that knows less = less chances to land a job or start a business = less money = -10
not realizing that i am not defined by information and knowledge separate from who i am as Life
not realizing that it is key to understanding my mind relationship to my physical body to through that understand my very origin as the physical itself
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself
'as fear of survival'
to seek for a savior that will give me eternal life
believing i can survive eternally
if i pray to Jesus
believing i can go to heaven and be happy eternally
not realizing that i am here on earth able to assist
in establishing a world based on equality
able to assist in bringing heaven into/as earth
-
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself 'as fear of survival'
to desire to be stress free - so joined
Transcendental Meditation
believing i can close my eyes in meditation and just for that moment
disappear from the earth to a place somewhere
within my mind
that is stress-free
to forget there is suffering in this world
to forget there is inequality in this world
as the evil me -as the dishonest me
not wanting to take self-responsibility
not wanting to face the consequence
of what i accepted and allowed
in hiding
for the purpose of becoming stress free as the easy way out
to not take self-responsibility for all parts of me as all Life
fearing suffering
doubting myself
uncertain i am able to do that
spiting the physical/substance within blame
with the excuse that i am just an individual trying to survive
by trying to be stress free
and learning TM meditation
within justification
saying 'i need to be whole' first
believing that 'after i become whole' i maybe able to help
not realizing i am here able to assist myself to
take self-responsibility for
what i created in 'my without'
as this world system of inequality
- I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself
'as fear of survival'
desire to join Ananda Marga Yoga Society
meditating and doing what the guru wants me to do - for 29 years
as an easy way out
to not take self-responsibility for all parts of me as life
doing yoga exercises everyday to make me stress free
so that when i see the people suffering on earth i will be calm
as an easy way out
to not take responsibility for all parts of me as all life
-
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself
'as fear of survival'
to try to run away from
the consequence that i have created
as the evil me
not wanting to take self-responsibility
for all parts of me as life
wanting the aliens to take responsibility for me
and be happy in their galaxy
giving a mind value to another place- as another galaxy
believing that in that place or location
'highly advanced beings' live
so that location has a mind value
as in
information = +10
knowledge = +10
where
common sense or common knowledge = -10
information acquired through going to different dimensions in my mind = +10
where i connected another galaxy/dimension/planet to advanced information
Another planet/dimension/galaxy = advanced information = +10
giving a mind value to
Earth
Earth = -10
within my mind
believing earth is a location in space
where there's inequality and abuse
and equating that with
being backward
giving mind values within my mind
as for example
advanced = +10
backward = -10
not realizing
these are words i charged with positive and negative mind values
which are NOT REAL
not realizing
that common sense
as what is best for all life
and not information and knowledge separate from who we are
is all we need
for us to see the abuse that all of us have done to/as earth
so instead of fearing the consequence of that
birth me here as life by stopping mind participation
not realizing that the body/substance that the earth is made of
is equal to the substance all are made of
not realizing its real value is equal to life
Earth = Life
not realizing abdicating Earth
is abdicating Life
not realizing that
thinking that i am ascending within/as my mind
in an alternate reality
where i am an alternate version of me
self-forgiving myself for the fear
and correcting myself in my moment by moment
breath by breath living application
i instead 'seek the moreness of me' in the opposite polarity
forming a desire to skip death and live eternally
and being a follower of a guru
believing he will liberate me from the ego
not realizing i am the creator of my 'within' as the mind
and 'my without' as this world system
and being the creator and the created i am self-responsible
for all the consequence i have created both 'within and without'
Through this, i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself
'as hope' to hope that i can transcend death
not realizing death is a certainty
as the body expresses itself
as physical/substance which just like matter transforms itself
from one state to another
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself 'as hope'
to HOP from one E-nergetic experience to the next
believing i am defined by energy
believing i am expressing me here within
happiness and sadness
believing birth is a beginning of life, movement and positive energy experiences
and death is the end of life, end of movement
believing that death is the start of a negative energy experience
into the unknown
the darkness
believing i am not safe in the unknown
Through this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself
'as fear of survival'
to fear the unknown
fearing darkness
fearing the danger within what is not known
as i defined myself within
information and knowledge separate from me
downloaded from my father and mother
as genes
as codes
that i accepted and allowed
trapping me as who i am
within information and knowledge
that formed the platform of my personality/character
within/as my mind
thinking i am a unique individual
by virtue of those genes
believing that my mom and dad are unique individuals themselves
not realizing that they were downloaded genes
from many generations back
not realizing that they too have genes
DNA coded with information and knowledge
from where they evolved their personality/character
Through this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself
'as fear of the unknown''
to fear not having all the information
i need regarding what happens after i die
so fear death
and within this
instead of forgiving my self-created fears
i desire information and knowledge separate from me
from gurus/masters
not realizing that this is my fear of death
my fear of not existing
my fear of the unknown that is driving me
to seek for explanation about
who i am
where i come from
why i am here
not realizing i am here as breath in every moment
i simply live as who i am
equal to all that is here as life
I forgive myself 'as fear of the unknown'
desire for information and knowledge
from books, talks, from school, internet, gurus/masters/aliens etc.
as i desire to have my life have a meaning/purpose/goal
something that i can work towards to evolve me as the mind
not realizing that i give meaning to all parts of me as life
not realizing i have to assist myself to stop giving them values more than or less than life
to instead give all parts of me a value equal to life
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself
'as fear of survival'
to fear existing without positive, neutral and negative energy experiences
to fear existing without memories
fear existing without happiness and sadness
fear existing without knowledge and information
FEARING THE END of me as consciousness
FEARING DOOMSDAY
Desiring to LIVE FOREVER
DESIRING to have ETERNAL LIFE
to evolve me as the mind
within CONFLICT and FRICTION
defining me within
positive, neutral and negative energy experiences
as who i have become as the mind
as who i have become as energy
as who i have become as consciousness
resourcing physicality/substance
transforming physicality/substance to energy
for me as the mind to exist
for me as energy to exist
for me as consciousness to exist
as the evil me
within self-interest
within fear of not surviving
within fear of not existing
fearing living as who i am as life
fearing standing for what is best for all life
fearing taking self-responsibility for all of me as life
fearing living as who i am as all Life
fearing establishing a world that truly honors life
based on equality
fearing living as who i am as physicality/substance
FEARING LIFE as who i am as all
DESIRING LIFE as who i have become as energy
within conflict and friction
for me as the conscious, subconscious, unconscious mind to exist
based on positive and negative energy experiences
defining myself within memories
defining myself within time
as the past, present and future
not realizing i am here as breath referencing the moment
in this physical existence
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself
'as fear of survival'
to define myself
within information and knowledge
celebrating the beginning of acquiring the information passed on to me
by my mother and father and their mothers and fathers
and the ones before that
many generations back
as who i have become as a personality/character
defined by information and knowledge
downloaded into my DNA
not realizing that as i celebrate my BIRTH DAY
i am celebrating the Day i have acquired these codes
these information
that i defined myself as
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself
'as fear of not knowing'
desire to know
desire to have information so i will know
so i can evolve me as the mind
as i defined people who has a lot of information as
having a value more than life
Knowledgeable people (people that knows more) = more chances to land a job or start a business = more money = +10
People that knows less = less chances to land a job or start a business = less money = -10
not realizing that i am not defined by information and knowledge separate from who i am as Life
not realizing that it is key to understanding my mind relationship to my physical body to through that understand my very origin as the physical itself
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself
'as fear of survival'
to seek for a savior that will give me eternal life
believing i can survive eternally
if i pray to Jesus
believing i can go to heaven and be happy eternally
not realizing that i am here on earth able to assist
in establishing a world based on equality
able to assist in bringing heaven into/as earth
-
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself 'as fear of survival'
to desire to be stress free - so joined
Transcendental Meditation
believing i can close my eyes in meditation and just for that moment
disappear from the earth to a place somewhere
within my mind
that is stress-free
to forget there is suffering in this world
to forget there is inequality in this world
as the evil me -as the dishonest me
not wanting to take self-responsibility
not wanting to face the consequence
of what i accepted and allowed
in hiding
for the purpose of becoming stress free as the easy way out
to not take self-responsibility for all parts of me as all Life
fearing suffering
doubting myself
uncertain i am able to do that
spiting the physical/substance within blame
with the excuse that i am just an individual trying to survive
by trying to be stress free
and learning TM meditation
within justification
saying 'i need to be whole' first
believing that 'after i become whole' i maybe able to help
not realizing i am here able to assist myself to
take self-responsibility for
what i created in 'my without'
as this world system of inequality
- I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself
'as fear of survival'
desire to join Ananda Marga Yoga Society
meditating and doing what the guru wants me to do - for 29 years
as an easy way out
to not take self-responsibility for all parts of me as life
doing yoga exercises everyday to make me stress free
so that when i see the people suffering on earth i will be calm
as an easy way out
to not take responsibility for all parts of me as all life
-
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself
'as fear of survival'
to try to run away from
the consequence that i have created
as the evil me
not wanting to take self-responsibility
for all parts of me as life
wanting the aliens to take responsibility for me
and be happy in their galaxy
giving a mind value to another place- as another galaxy
believing that in that place or location
'highly advanced beings' live
so that location has a mind value
as in
information = +10
knowledge = +10
where
common sense or common knowledge = -10
information acquired through going to different dimensions in my mind = +10
where i connected another galaxy/dimension/planet to advanced information
Another planet/dimension/galaxy = advanced information = +10
giving a mind value to
Earth
Earth = -10
within my mind
believing earth is a location in space
where there's inequality and abuse
and equating that with
being backward
giving mind values within my mind
as for example
advanced = +10
backward = -10
not realizing
these are words i charged with positive and negative mind values
which are NOT REAL
not realizing
that common sense
as what is best for all life
and not information and knowledge separate from who we are
is all we need
for us to see the abuse that all of us have done to/as earth
so instead of fearing the consequence of that
birth me here as life by stopping mind participation
not realizing that the body/substance that the earth is made of
is equal to the substance all are made of
not realizing its real value is equal to life
Earth = Life
not realizing abdicating Earth
is abdicating Life
not realizing that
thinking that i am ascending within/as my mind
in an alternate reality
where i am an alternate version of me
evolving me within my mind
evolving the conditions i am in
within my mind
is not what is best for all
is not what is best for all
so instead of going that way
to instead
stand for what is best for all life
to instead
stand for what is best for all life
as in bringing heaven into and as earth
as we all birth ourselves here on earth
not realizing i am here
able to take self-responsibility for all of me as life
able to take self-responsibility for all of me as life
and assist in establishing a world based on equality
working within the principle of what is best for all life
and assist in bringing heaven into/as earth
===
Commitment to Correct Myself
I commit myself to when and as i see myself fearing surviving
i stop
I breathe
I realize that my desire to take the easy way out
to go somewhere perceived 'better than here'
is me running away from my fear
deluding myself that there is an easy way out
based from my fear of difficulty, sadness and pain
not realizing i am here as breath
moving and
living in every moment
Continued in Part 2
working within the principle of what is best for all life
and assist in bringing heaven into/as earth
===
Commitment to Correct Myself
I commit myself to when and as i see myself fearing surviving
i stop
I breathe
I realize that my desire to take the easy way out
to go somewhere perceived 'better than here'
is me running away from my fear
deluding myself that there is an easy way out
based from my fear of difficulty, sadness and pain
not realizing i am here as breath
moving and
living in every moment
Continued in Part 2
