Decoding Female Sexual Programming: Doubt: Day 261

From Relationship To Agreement

My Process
Re: Me In An Agreement 

 Relationship Mathematics

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Topic:

Me as The Female Personality
Relationships and Sexual Programming:

Female Personality Split:
 #1 Complete Woman
>Fear of loss/not surviving as the female personality
>>doubting who i am
>>>desire: attraction to a male, got attracted
> >>>desire: relationship with a male, got a relationship
>> >>>desire: good sex with a male , having good sex with a male
>>>>>>satisfied, complete woman/female
#2 Incomplete Woman
>Fear of loss/not surviving as the female personality
>>doubting who i am
>>>desire: attraction to a male, rejected
>>>>desire: relationship with a male, no relationship, alone
>>>>>desire: good sex with a male, not having good sex with a male  
>>>>>>dissatisfied, incomplete woman/female 


Note: 
There's Fear of loss/fear of not surviving as a female/woman 
within my mind when  'in or out of a relationship'
Split is created within my mind
Doubt sets in -unsure of whether 'i am a complete woman/female or an incomplete woman/female


Note: My participation in DOUBT will be self-forgiven in this blog.

Why am i using Self-forgiveness?
http://juneroca.com/my-process/self-forgiveness/

I am using  self-forgiveness and writing a correction script to correct myself  in my living participation

 Why am I Using Mathematics?
I am using mathematical symbols at the end of this post to show that the MIND values i have given are NOT REAL, showing the real value of ALL is/as Life.

===

Self-forgiveness Statements:

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself
to participate in the design of/as fear of survival - as sex

doubt who i  have become - as the female personality

uncertain of who i am

perceiving i split into 2
within my mind

the one desiring attraction
to a male/the one males are getting attracted to
or the one NOT desiring attraction
to a male/man - the one who males are not attracted to?

the one who desires a relationship with a male/man
or the one who does NOT desire a relationship with a male/man?

the one who desires good sex with a man
defined as a complete woman
or the one that does NOT desire
good sex with a man?

believing that if i do not desire
to be attracted to a a man/male
or desire males/men to be attracted to me
i am incomplete as a woman/female

believing that if men do not get attracted to me
i am incomplete as a woman
believing that if men gets attracted to me and me gets attracted to a man/male
i am complete as a woman/female
believing that if i am not in a relationship with a man/male
i am incomplete as a woman
believing that if i am in a relationship with a male/man
i am complete as a woman/female

believing that if i desire having sex with a man/male
i am complete as a woman/female
believing that if i do not desire having good sex with a man/male
i am incomplete as a woman/female

not realizing that i am here as breath in every moment
moving me, expressing me
as the trinity, the physical/body, the mind and my beingness/real awareness
so it is to realize that i have to release myself from this definition
and redefined myself as a female
redefine who i am, what i am and how i am
and live that
birthing me here as equal to Life
===

Commitment: Self Correction: Script:

I commit myself to when and as i see myself
doubting who i am  as a female
based on my beliefs

I stop
I breathe

I realized that this is me as the mind
as the feminine personality

fearing to  lose my female personality
refusing to face my fear
refusing to see the problem
refusing to provide a solution and
refusing to see the reward of transcending my fear
and refusing to correct myself in my living participation

taking the easy way out

desiring to achieve a sense of completion
desiring to win

not seeing and realizing that
my starting point is based on self-interest

not realizing that this is how i programmed myself
as a female personality
as who i have become as the mind

So, I assist myself to see
that i am here as breath in every moment

and see that i created my fears
and it is to walk back and see the beliefs behind it
forgive myself
correct myself in my living
stabilize me as breath

see what is here as the physical
instead of going within/as my mind


clap my hand once
wake myself up

stay with my heartbeat
feel my pulse

and see the physical as what it is
see the equality of/as Life
and live that
as who i am, what i am and how i am

===
The Mathematics of Giving Positive and Negative Values
Vs
Giving Values Equal To Life

I realized that i have 
made an equation within my mind:

'where within my mind
a split exist :

1. a complete woman : attracted to a male, having a relationship with a male and having good sex with a male
or 
2.an incomplete woman: not attracted to a male, not having a relationship with a male, not having good sex with a male
 
'where

The Mind Equation is: 
Fear of not being attracted to males = - 100
Fear of 'males not being attracted to me = -100
Fear of not having a relationship with a male = -100
Fear of not having good sex with a male = -100

Desire to be attracted to a male = +100
Desire for males to be attracted to me = +100
Desire to have a relationship with a male = +100
Desire to have sex with a male = +100 

Complete woman/female = attracted to  a male = +100
Complete woman = relationship with a male = +100
Complete woman = good sex with a male = +100

Incomplete woman/female = no  attraction to a male = -100
Incomplete woman = no relationship with a male = -100
Incomplete woman = no good sex with a male = -100'

Realizing:
*Fear is the base platform of the mind
*Desire is fueled by fear

*the woman's body as the physical is real  as it has a real physical existence

*the fear of losing/not surviving as the female personality is not real as i imagined it within my mind with no real physical existence
*the desire to attract a male or be attracted to a male, desiring a relationship with a male, desiring having good sex with a male- is not real as this is imagined within my mind
*the desire for sex to have a positive energy experience is fueled by a negative which is 
fear of loss/fear of not surviving as a female personality  

Realizing
that the mind values i had given were not real
that the equation was not real
I made them up in my mind
I imagined them  in my mind

Realizing the pattern is:
>Fear of  loss/not surviving as a female personality 
>> Desiring attraction to a male 
>>>Desiring relationship with a male 
>>>> Desiring good sex with a male

Realizing that i have to stop participating in this pattern 
So i can stop the program to stop the system
and within that birth me here as
who i really am
expressing myself as a female equal to the male expression - as All Life 

Realizing it is to forgive myself
and correct myself in
my living participation
and stopping
mind participation

Realizing i have to
release myself from giving positive and negative values
to words
redefining words and living those redefined meanings
using words as equal to my expression

Realizing that
the value of a female/woman = Life
the value of a male/man = Life
the value of all = Life


  Realizing that all consist of atoms consisting of the same substance all consist of