In the last month or so i found out that there were many times i am not aware of my breath and noticed that i had been holding my breath. So, i am blogging about the breath for 21 days and i am going to share what i will find out. To start, i would like to give all a background about what i found out when i jot down times when i am holding my breath.
Holding My Breath When (
Here's part of my list):
From Last Month
1. Looking at the oat groats while washing them
2. Reading a Buddhist text in the internet
3.While reading Vajrayana document on the internet - looking for some documents about Tantra while writing the 'Tantrik Yogi' character in my blog - as i really did not pay attention on the theory part of it when i was parcticing yoga and meditation
4.While choosing which gadget to add in my website
5. Formatting the words in my blog
6. Correcting my blog - the 'Pity as Help' Character
7.Editing the arrows in my assignment
8. Typing the tags in my blog
9. Clicking a video in youtube
10. Working with the food processor - processing the raw taco shells and raw bread
11.While taking a shower
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Today:
1. While looking at the sink watching the bits and pieces of food flowing down the drain
2. While getting Ice in the freezer
3. While typing in front of the computer editing this blog
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I wrote the rest but lost them. Last Sunday, i reviewed the Creation's Journey to Life blog and did a video about it:
Link
Creations journey To Life Blog:
Quote:
I commit myself to Call on the Characters to Stop for 21 Days, Breathing to Watch this Story Unfold and tI commit myself to Call on the Characters to Stop for 21 Days, Breathing to Watch this Story Unfold and to See How Characters React when you Refuse to Play your Role, and You will Note the Extent to which the Story and Characters will Go, to make sure You DO NOT QUESTION Life on Earth as the Program. B.P.
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My Video:
When i was doing the video and reading the blog - it was as if that blog was made for me (as all) - an assistance that i definitely need - at that particular moment. I read it again today because at that time i made the video it was about 3Am . I understood what it was saying . I had been procrastinating about doing this blog for months.
I did watch my breath before - years ago - where i was doing it from the mind - trying to watch my breath and manipulate myself to doing it. As i do my process and do more self-forgiveness and self-corrective application - i have learned that when i observe the breath - i am separating myself from the breath - defining myself within the 'observing the breath' character.
Today, i decided to write about the breath and start walking the 21 days breathing.
When i was deciding to do this there's fear within me and Backchats:
'What if i do not successfully make it through, the 21 days breathing application? I will be laughed at by the group members. This is just the mind. I will do this, fuck it! I will do this anyway one day - why do i have to wait?' I don't know what to say or how to do this. Hey, you know what i will just do this'
'What if i feel pain? I heard about this pain in the body - but i don't know how that work so why think about that. I cannot work if there's pain, but anyway, it's the mind, and i heard an interview saying that that will come later. I will just do this. Fuck, this is a big decision.'
Body movement:
Heart beating fast
Holding Breath
So, i would like to start taking self-responsibility by doing that which i know what to do - do self-forgiveness , write and do self-corrective application. In the next blog i will write down the self-forgiveness for the backchats and commitment statements.
Self-forgiveness : Doubt:
I forgive myself that have accepted and allowed myself to doubt myself - desiring to make it through - the 21 days process - believing it is about me going from a point that i defined as less than me to a point that i defined as more than me - working for a goal - defining myself within the 'goal oriented - i am going somewhere other than here character - not realizing it is about me here - as who i am looking at me when and as i participate within/as my mind - and directing myself to stop - using self-forgiveness, writing and self- corrective application - and walking out of the noise in my head - to hear what is here as the eternal substance as the physical - breath by breath moment by moment - here,
Self-commitment
I commit myself to when and as i see myself having thoughts, backchats, internal conversations - i stop - i breath and bring myself back here - as the physical to see the reality that is here as this physical existence and who i have become to birth me as who i am as all life.
Self-forgiveness: Fear Pain
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear pain - and stop me from assisting me to birth me as life - believing that i will experience pain in my body when i am free from thoughts - not realizing that i have suppressed myself from pain for so long within desiring happiness by doing all kinds of meditation and exercises that will numb the pain - and within that transform physicality to energy for a positive energy experience within and as my mind - and that the pain is the consequence of what i have accepted and allowed.
Self-commitment
I commit myself to when and as i see myself fearing pain - embrace pain and take self-responsibility for the consequence of what i have accepted and allowed and assist myself to express me as life - breath by breath, moment by moment.
Self-forgiveness : Body Movement: 'Heart Beating Fast'
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself 'as the heart beating fast' to manipulate myself to express fear and doubt.
Self-commitment:
When and as i see myself 'as the heart beating fast' manipulating myself to express fear and doubt - i stop - breath and change my starting point - i slooow myself down and support me as the body - support me as the breath.
Self-forgiveness: Ideas about Breath: 4 Counts Breath: Holding Breath
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have an idea that i have to do the 4 counts breathing and so from that information which i perceived separate from me - i interpreted what it means and started doing it according to my interpretation of what was said - where i started watching my breath - and forced myself to breath in - counting 4 counts as i breath in - and holding - 4 counts - breathing out - 4 counts and holding - 4 counts - through this, i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have an idea about how the 4 counts breathing will be applied - where this idea can only manifest for short periods of time - as i am focused on manifesting the idea - thus proving to myself that ideas are inconsistent - not realizing that i am doing this application within having an idea about how this should be done - focusing my attention on manifesting the idea that this will make me who i desire to become - as the eternal breath - which i also have an idea about - through this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to desire to be the eternal breath which is me defining myself within the idea that when i become that eternal breath - i will be the eternal self - defining myself within the '
fear of not existing - desiring to exist eternally - happiness' character - where i am desiring a 'positive energy experience' within/as myself to make me happy by manifesting a belief from a point of fear of not existing - as i can see the mess in this existence and so wanting to get rid of this within my mind - decided to not take self-responsibility for the consequence of my actions and inactions -not realizing that this physical existence functions according to consequence.
I commit myself to take self-responsibility to take on whatever consequence i have created within my action and inaction by doing self-forgiveness and correct myself in my application by doing self-corrective application - moment by moment breath by breath - and assist in establishing
a world that truly honor life - based on equality.
I commit myself to when and as i see myself separating myself from information given about the breath - i stop - i breathe . I assist myself to accept and allow myself to physically apply the information without having an idea of how it should function - and thus learning from the physical how it manifests within and as the physical as a consistent application of self.
Self-forgiveness: Fear of Death : Holding Breath
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear dying when i hold my breath when and as i participate in thoughts, backchats, internal conversations, when i have reactions, feelings, emotions etc.- where i am in an alternate reality within my mind - through this - i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to instead of looking at the mind participation and correcting myself within that - i go into fear, specifically fear of dying - where i react to me holding my breath.Through this, I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within the '
fear of dying - holding breath- anxiety - sad' character - where i fear dying when i hold my breath - as i believed that when 'i am breathing - as the brain supporting me to breath ' i am alive - and when i am not breathing - as the brain not supporting me to breathe' i cease to exist - fearing not existing as the mind character that i have become - defined by my relationship to my form, to the sound of my voice, to the movement of my form, to the looks of my form, to the functioning of the brain that i believed has the power to make me exist and not exist - believing that when it stops functioning i will stop existing - defining myself within the
'breathing - live - brain controlled - happiness' character.
I forgive myself that i have not accepted and allowed myself to be here as breath in every moment - as who i am - as life - through this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear being here as breath in every moment - believing that i have to think and have internal conversations to survive - not realizing that i have become the character that i created within my mind - which i resist to stop - as i fear looking and expressing as the breath in every moment here - believing that i will have to come from a point of not knowing how to do it - to a point of knowing how to do it - defining myself within an experience of me - as memory - defining myself within what happened in the past and what i can do now to become that ideal self that i projected onto myself - and within that idea of myself do something to make it happen - not realizing that i am here as breath - and that i do not need to have an idea about myself nor be defined by experiences as memory - as a character - and that i do not have to do things to make that happen to create a 'desired result' - rather, be here and do self-forgiveness and self-corrective application - to birth me here as who i am as life - through this, i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within the 'holding my breath' character
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to desire to exist etenally - not realizing i am here as the breath in every moment.
I commit myself to when and as i see myself holding my breath - i bring myself back here - sloooooow myself down and look at what i am participating in within my mind - speak self-forgiveness and do self-corrective application - i stop participating within my mind - i let go of fear and tension in my body and accept and allow myself to breathe.
I commit myself to stop defining myself within the 'fear of dying - not existing - anxiety- sad - wanting to exist eternally - happiness' character - accepting and allowing me to express me here as life.
I commit myself to assist myself through writing, speaking, self-forgiiveness and self-corrective application to - accept and allow myself to be here as the infinite breath in every moment
