The Breath: 21 days Breathing Part 7 Day 5 When Am i Holding my Breath? SF JTL Blog Day 147

 

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SELF-FORGIVENESS

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This Blog Is A Continuation of These Blogs:

http://juneroca.com/my-process/tantrik-yogi-character/

I wrote 2 animal blogs, for Day 5:
Elephant's Message To Humans
http://animalsjunejourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/09/the-elephant-message-to-humans-day-2.html
The Elephant's Way:
http://junejourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/09/the-way-of-elephant-zen-buddhist-yogi.html

Continuation of Day 1 Thoughts Self-forgiveness
This is My 21 Days Breathing Blog for Day 5

Self-forgiveness for Holding My Breath While:

6. Correcting my blog - the 'Pity as Help' Character
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to process information within my mind - when i edit a blog - in an alternate reality where i sift through memories as pictures and separate from what is here - as the physical - so i commit myself to when and as i see myself do this - i stop - i breath and realise that i am here looking at the blog - which is written information that i wrote as i look at who i have become walking through my mind - self-forgiving thoughts, backchats, internal conversations etc. - so assist myself to bring the event here and look at it and put in the omitted words or phrases - as i look at and edit my blog - slowing myself down, supporting me as the body - as the breath in every moment here.

7.Editing the arrows in my assignment
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to when i arrange the arrows in my assignment 
Ex.
--->
----->
------>
- when i am late in submitting it - separate from the physical - where I react with 'impatience' through my mind - separating from what is here - as the physical - so i commit myself to when and as i see myself doing this - i stop- i breathe. I realise that i become overwhelmed by looking at details that is repeated over and over again - defining myself within the 'overwhelmed by details - repeating - impatient' character - so i commit myself to when and as i see myself doing this - i stop - i breathe, I realise that when i repeatedly do something the same that increase in increments of 1 as the hyphens within the arrows (----> ) - it makes me impatient because it does not give me a positive energy experience - as i see this as a neutral experience - and increasing in increments of one. does not take me within/as my mind where i can have some positive energy experience - rather it makes me see what is here - the arrows being a combination of symbols -a physical manifestation - 2 symbols, a hyphen and an arrow pointing to the right at the end - the hyphen or series of lines (-)  that increase as i progress through the timeline in my DIP assignment -  so the mind does not generate energy that will give life to it - the impatience being a reaction in my relationship to the mind 'within' and which i externalize as i deal with others in the external world which is the same reaction that i had 'within'- this time externalizing it as a reaction in my relationship with the world system 'without' as i talk to employees working for my phone carrier - where i become impatient - when what i do not hear what i want to hear in that moment - defining myself within the 'impatient - paying bill' character - as i need an answer that can get me out of a big bill or a where i am in a hurry - fearing being late -defining myself within the 'fear being late' character - as i fear being fined for paying late - defining myself within the 'fear of being fined - late' character - as i become impatient and my heart beats faster - and my fore finger and thumb rubbing my chin - while my neck turns left and right gasping a big breath - my voice high pitched - saying words that will make me superior - defining myself within the ' late - desire to be superior 'as i feel inferior at that moment - defining myself within the 'late - inferior' character - as i am late paying and wanting or desiring to get out of  trouble - defining myself within the 'i want to get out of trouble - help me' character 

-a similar event that i witnessed when i was young as i see my mom and my grandmother react with impatience when we're late to church, late for an event, late in paying bills - as my grandmother pouts and stares the way i do - defining myself within the 'annoyed me annoyed grandmother- copy' character  - where in that moment i separate from what is here - my body manipulated by me as the mind to positions expressing 'fear' and 'impatience' -  as a reaction in my relationship to the mind -  manifested in the physical - manipulating the body  to move to express a reaction from within/as my mind - which is not what is best for all - as the mind is taking the nutrients needed by the body to function - transforming physicality to energy to be used by the mind - as i react to pictures, words etc. 'within' - through the mind - and people, pictures, words etc. in 'my without' - the world system - so assisting myself to be the breath in every moment here - by being self-directive - and make a routine where i can do what i have set myself to do for how many breaths i have on this earth - so i will not play out these characters - slooooow myself down - support my body breath by breath moment by moment.