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Thursday, August 30, 2012

The Body: Sex and Self Intimacy SCS 3 Day 138 Who Am I? The Sex Is Happiness Character




 

This Blog is A Continuation Of this Blog:

  1. http://junejourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/08/happiness-desiring-physical-intimacysex.html
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Imagining a Relationship With the Prospective Partner 
Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to imagine how will the relationship with the prospective partner be  and what we will do if ever we end up being together existing as the character that is an alternate version of me with another character within /as my mind in the 'future' - which is a time that is not here as me as this moment - hoping - where i am not self-directive - as i am defining myself within the 'hoping we 'll be together' character - a mind character which is an alternate version of me. I am not here as the real character. I am trapped as the mind character that is in a 'future time' as the noise in my head while i exist as the real character here - as flesh - as blood - as the physical . 

I am correcting myself and writing a script to assist me as the real character - as flesh - as blood - to stop living an alternate version of me within/as my mind - rather, be here and enjoy my expression as the real character interacting with another as me.


Self-Correction Script
When and as i see myself imagining how will the relationship with the prospective partner be 
- i stop and breathe. I realise that when i go to an alternate reality within/as my mind to imagine - i am not here in physical reality. I am trapped within an idea of a 'future positive experience' which i made up. I am in an alternate reality other than here. So, the noise within my head will stop me from looking at what is here - as the breath that is here as this moment -  so i bring  myself back here and stomp my feet. I say, 'i am here'. This will make me see clearly what is going on and then decide - coming from a starting point of assisting myself to have a real self-directive decision to take on an agreement to assist me as self and assist another as self  - where within this i am saying 'this is who i am, this is what i am as my expression to you for you with you and as you - here unconditionally supporting you' - where we will be both standing for what is best for all life.
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Backchats: The Subconscious Mind

Stopping The Subconscious Mind

Self-forgiveness for Backchats: 

'that guy looks nice, good, intelligent, reserved, wealthy, perfect, dresses well, clean, intelligent, looks a little naughty but child like'


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to use backchat as a method to desire positive energy experiences through attraction with a male who fulfills my idea of a 'perfect sexual partner' - believing that my perfect partner is nice, good, perfect, intelligent, reserved, wealthy, dresses well, clean, looks a little naughty but child-like - defining myself within the 'my perfect man' character


I am correcting myself and writing a script to assist me as the real character - as flesh - as blood - to stop living an alternate version of me within/as my mind - rather, be here and enjoy my expression as the real character interacting with another as me.



Self-correction Script
When and as i see myself using backchat as a method to desire positive energy through attraction with a male who fulfills my idea of a 'perfect sexual partner - i stop - i breathe. I realise these are all ideas based on what i heard my dad say, what i've seen at the movies, what i saw on tv and what i heard from my friends. I created this idea within/as my mind 
from the point of fear of being unhappy having a man that is the opposite of all these positive points which essentially is a man that is not nice, bad, imperfect, dumb, loud, poor, someone who dresses up having a creased shirt, dirty shoes, smelly socks with a dark red shirt and dark green pants on, dirty, unshaven, rough angry looking, spiteful and bossy man - see what i connected these ideas to, what i get as a positive energy experience and from that correct my physical expression. I bring myself back here - looking at what triggered it and correct myself -  stomp my feet, slow myself down and stabilize my breathing saying 'i am here'. 

===
'His stare tells me he also likes me'
Self-forgiveness
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to use backchat as a method to connect his eyes to a 'stare that i equated with the idea that he likes me' - believing what i see in the romantic movies like 'love story' etc. as real - defining myself within the 'staring - he likes me' character.



I am correcting myself and writing a script to assist me as the real character - as flesh - as blood - to stop living an alternate version of me within/as my mind - rather, be here and enjoy my expression as the real character interacting with another as me.


Self-correction Script
When and as i see myself using backchat as a method to connect his eyes to 'a stare that i equated with the idea that he likes me' - i stop - i breathe. I realise that eyes are part of the body and that i am separating myself from what is here by connecting it within/as my mind to pictures and images which i saw from the eyes of Ryan O'neil from the movie, 'Love Story'  where 'he fell in love with Ali McGraw' - and other 'romantic movies' -where, the mind sensing a similar 'external environment' it activated the 'staring - he likes me' character not seeing the eyes as just that - the eyes as a physical manifestation - that came from the same substance all are made of - equal to all that is here. I bring myself back here, slow myself down, stabilize my breathing and stomp my feet to physically wake me up.

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

The Body: Sex and Self Intimacy SF SCS 2 Day 137 Happiness As Sex Character





 


  1. This is a continuation of this blog:
  2. The Body: Sex and Intimacy SF SCS1
  3. http://junejourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/08/happiness-desiring-physical-intimacysex.html
===
Quote 1
Self-forgiveness
  1. I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to desire to experience sex- believing sex will give me an ecstatic positive experience not realizing that i am coming from a starting point of 'fear of looking at who i am as equal to/as my body'  - defining myself within 'fear of looking at who i am as equal to/as my body ' character

Self-correction Script:
I commit to when and as i see myself desiring to experience sex - believing sex will give me an ecstatic positive experience - i stop - i breathe. I realize that desiring sex is defining myself within a future positive experience - hoping and believing that this will give me a positive experience within having sex with someone - coming from fear of looking at who i really am -  equal to/as the body - so instead of fear directing me - i am assisting myself to  equalize myself to who i am as the body - within self-intimacy - so that instead of manifesting fear in ones physical body - i will assist myself to stop participating in fear - assist myself to get to know the body and form an intimate real physical relationship with/as it - through touch and movement - as i move me as the breath in every moment here. 



Quote 2
Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear looking at who i am as equal to/as my body - believing that there is nothing there but 'flesh and blood' - believing that that is boring - defining me within the 'my body is boring' character - not realizing that the body contains trillions of living cells that interact with each other moment by moment - breath by breath.

Self-correction Script:
I commit myself to when i see myself defining myself within fear of looking at who i am as equal to/as my body - believing that it is just flesh and blood - believing it is boring - i stop - i breathe. I realize that equalizing myself with/as the body means i have to take self-responsibility for all that i have accepted and allowed that is based on self-interest - perceiving myself separate from all - within/as my mind/consciousness - so to do this  i am going to open up and do self-forgiveness for who i am as sex - as who i have become - as i have given sex a 'value that is more than' myself - and not an equal and one value to/as myself - so to self-correct myself and birth me here as who i am as self-intimacy as equal to sex - as equal to the body - both in my living application in the way i speak and write and the way i move myself as the physical/body alone or with a partner. 

Quote 3
Self-forgiveness
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that i will be happier when i interact with/have sex with another person i believe i love - fearing being intimate with/as my physical body within touch-  defining myself within the 'happy when i have sex with someone i love' character.

Self-Correction Script:
I commit myself to when and as i see myself believe that i will be happier when i interact with/have sex with another person i believe i love - fearing being intimate with/as my physical body - i stop - i breathe. I realize that what i do not want to look at or fear to give myself i desire to get from  another - the male prospective partner - where in this i do not consider the 'behind the scenes' processes that happen when i fear - where when i really pay attention and be here as breath - and slow myself down -  i will see that when fear activate in the mind it manifest in my physical body as tightness or stiffness of physical muscles etc. extracting resources  from the muscle tissues which lead to aging and death - so assist myself to be intimate with/as the body when i am alone without any relationship/agreement - within touch - and when i have a partner to be intimate with him - as i have been intimate with/as myself - assisting myself as i assist my partner as myself - only accepting and allowing that which is what is best for all.
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Quote 4
Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to suppress myself to be intimate with/as myself - desiring to have relationship/boy friend to finally get married and have sex - when i was a teenager, growing up in a 'conservative family culture' - believing it is wrong to be intimate with/as my physical/body - desiring to find the right partner, be in a relationship, get married and have sex - believing i can only have sex when i am  married - defining myself within 'marrying the one i love' character

Self-correction Script

I commit myself to when and as i see myself suppress myself  to be intimate with/as myself -  desiring to have a relationship to get married and then have sex - i stop and breathe. I realize that this is what i  do to not look at my equality with/as the physical/body - where the the sub-characters i created within and as my mind just to evolve this main character - the 'marrying the one i love' character-  is so many - as i live alternate versions of me within and as my mind- as i participated in fear - to now face again and direct - so i am assisting myself to change and stand and be equal to and one with self as strength and courage - to walk and face the consequence of what i have accepted and allowed within/as my mind - and to assist myself to see/realize and understand how i created who am i as sex and why am i as sex  - by listening to the interviews and using self-forgiveness and  self-corrective application as a living self-aware self-principled directive being - made from the same substance all are made of - equal to all that is here - standing for what is best for all .

=== 

  1. I commit myself to delete the memories, pictures, desires within and as myself - letting go of the separation as desires etc. within and as myself - and stand equal to the body - breath by breath, moment by moment.


  1. To be Continued

The Body: Sex and Physical Intimacy SF SCS 1: Day 136 'Happiness' Character : Kissing Tenderly, Touching Softly Skin to Skin Naked



  1. Desiring Happiness Desiring Relationships/Sex and Fear of Being Intimate with/as Myself Which Is Fear  of Having An Intimate Relationship with/as Self
     
  2. ===
  3. This Blog is a Continuation of :
===
Topic:
I am looking at the word 'Happiness' and the 'desire for  physical intimacy/sex so i can be happy ' realizing that this comes from 'fear of looking at who i am as equal to/as my body' which is fear of having an intimate relationship with/as Self
===
The Subconscious Mind: Backchat

Self-forgiveness for Desire To Have Sex To be Happy
'Fear of Looking at Who i am As Equal to/as The Physical/Body' Character


  1. I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to desire to experience sex- believing sex will give me an ecstatic positive experience not realizing that i am coming from a starting point of 'fear of looking at who i am as equal to/as my body'  - defining myself within 'fear of looking at who i am as equal to/as my body ' character

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear looking at who i am as equal to/as my body - believing that there is nothing there but 'flesh and blood' - believing that that is boring - defining me within the 'my body is boring' character - not realizing that the body contains trillions of cells that interact with each other.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that i will be happier when i interact with/have sex with another person i believe i love - fearing being intimate with/as my physical body within touch -  defining myself within the 'happy when i have sex with someone i love' character.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to suppress myself to be intimate with/as myself - desiring to have relationship/boy friend to finally get married and have sex - when i was a teenager, growing up in a 'conservative family culture' - believing it is wrong to be intimate with/as my physical/body - desiring to find the right partner, be in a relationship, get married and have sex - believing it can only be done when i am  married - defining myself within 'marrying the one i love' character



My Backchats:

'that guy looks nice, good, intelligent, reserved, wealthy, perfect, dresses well, clean, intelligent, looks a little naughty but child like'
'His stare tells me he also likes me'
'It must be nice to share intimate moments with him'
'It must be nice to kiss tenderly'
'It must be nice to whisper sweet nothings in each other's ears while we are embracing each other under the blanket'
'It must be nice to softly touch each other's body, naked, slowly caressing each others skin, smelling each other's body, skin to skin, our body movements synchronized to the rhythm of our heart beats, his breath and my breath harmonized, him touching my hair slightly.. hmmm'
'I like him'
'I've got to make this a reality'
'I will get to know him'
'I like for both of  us to get closer'
'I am in love !'

Self-forgiveness for Backchats:

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to imagine how will the relationship with the prospective partner be  and what we will do if ever we end up being together existing as the character that is an alternate version of me with another character within /as my mind

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to use backchat as a method to desire positive energy experiences through attraction with a male who fulfills my idea of a 'perfect sexual partner' - believing that my perfect partner is nice, good, perfect, intelligent, reserved, wealthy, dresses well, clean, looks a little naughty but child-like - defining myself within the 'my perfect man' character

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to use backchat as a method to connect his eyes to a 'stare that i equated with the idea that he likes me' - believing what i see in the romantic movies like 'love story' etc. as real - defining myself within the 'staring - he likes me' character.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to use backchat as a method to give 'whispers  while hugging a male' a positive energy charge - believing it is romantic - judging it as more than me and me less than myself - defining myself within the 'whispers while hugging' character.



I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from a physical experience as kissing tenderly by giving it a positive value - judging it as more than me and me less than myself - because of the 'ecstatic feeling' i get when being kissed tenderly  - defining myself within the 'i love tender kissing' character-  not realizing this feeling, i created  within/as my mind in an alternate reality that has no real physical existence 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to use backchat as a method to judge 'romantic moments' as more than me and me less than myself -  an experience of me defined within a positive energy experience - defined as an 'ecstatic feeling -  defining myself within the 'romantic moments' character - not realizing moments are moments equal to every moment as me here 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to use backchat as a method to give the words 'sweet nothings' a positive energy charge - believing that these words are romantic words - and judging these words as more than me and me less than myself - defining myself within the 'whispering sweet nothings' character.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to use  backchat as a method to give s 'soft touch' a positive charge - believing that 'soft touch' is more than 'rough touch' - judging 'soft touch' as more than me and 'rough touch' less than me - defining myself within the 'soft touch ' character


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the prospective partner by giving him a positive value, liking him  as the  'perfect man for me' - defining myself within the 'happiness within having a relationship with a perfect male' character.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to desire to  manifest a mind energetic desire to the physical and to animate that mind character that desires physical interaction/sex -defining myself within the ' desire to manifest a relationship for physical interaction/ sex' character - not realizing i am coming from fear of being who i really am - as the real character that is one and equal as who i am as flesh - as blood - equal to all that exist.

I forgive hat i have accepted and allowed myself to manipulate myself to manifest a mind desire for physical interaction/sex - believing that this is me as the real character - planning covertly - without him knowing - step by step how  i can finally have that positive energy experience with this person- defining myself within the 'i got to have you' character .  

 I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to use backchat as a method to desire to experience sex  when i meet an interesting guy that i consider fits my profile of a potential relationship partner.

Body Movements: The Unconscious Mind

Eyes widening
Smiling 

Self-forgiveness for Body Movements Directed by The Mind I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself 'as the eyes' widening to push the physical body to be in a position that express my backchat or what goes on in my head - which is a desire for physical intimacy/sex.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself 'as the facial muscles around the mouth' smiling to push the physical body to be in a position that express my backchat or what goes on in my head - which is a desire for physical intimacy/sex


The Breath:

Holding breath
Not Aware of breath

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to hold my breath when my attention is on the picture of the person i desire to have physical interaction/sex with - as i imagine him within/as my mind.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not be aware of my breath when i imagine a positive experience in the past i had with the person i am attracted to


Reaction

Happiness
Feeling i am 'somewhere out there in heaven'

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that when a man invites me to dinner - it means he likes me -believing that when i like the person -to  in that moment of being alone with him i have a chance of scanning his behavior, his words etc. to determine if he is the one i programmed myself to be in a 'relationship with forever'- as per my mind character's preference of what that mind character will say, look, sound like and do - defining myself within the 'invitation to dinner means he wants to have a relationship with me' character .

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to feel i am 'somewhere out there in heaven' - when i am in love - believing that heaven is a place that is 'more than here' - judging heaven as more than me and me less than myself - defining myself within the 'love is heavenly' character - not realizing i am here as breath in every moment - not realizing  - here is everywhere.


Belief about love:

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that when i imagine a man too often -  that i am in love with this person - not realizing i am creating this in my mind - an alternate reality that is not real - defining myself within the 'imagining him all the time means i love the man' character .

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that when i have this compelling desire to be with a man - that i am in love with this person - not realizing it is me as the mind character driven by my desire fr the 'moreness of me' within experiencing positive energy experiences within physical interaction/sex - defining myself within the 'desires himgot to have him  means i love the man' character - not realizing i am equal to all that exist as i came from the same substance all are made of.


===
Self- correction Script:


  1. When and as i see myself using backchat/talking in my head - i stop and breathe and to bring me back here and look at what character i am acting out and through writing, self-forgiveness and corrective application correct myself as the breath in every moment to birth me here as my 'within' as the self-aware directive - principled living real physical character that is equal to the physical body and manifest this in my 'without' standing for what is best for all.

I commit myself to assist myself to be self-aware and love myself unconditionally looking at who i have become as the characters i live out within/as my mind and through self-forgiveness and self corrective application breath by breath moment by moment be self intimate with/as my physical body and within that self-awareness and intimacy be intimate with someone as me in an agreement where i manifest who i truly am within and without - in all real relationships here.

  1. To be continued





Monday, August 27, 2012

Happiness: Fear of PAIN: Desire To Love What My Grandmother Love: SF: SCS Day 135



Happiness: Desire to Love What My Grandmother Love and Fear of Pain
 


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This Blog Is a continuation of :
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Topic: My Grandmother Pinching Me To Wake Up To Pray The Rosary With Her When I Was 6-8 yrs. old


The Subconscious Mind

Working on Backchat: 
'If i don't do what she wants me to do she will keep pinching me until i wake up'

Using Self-forgiveness:
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to use backchat as a method to fear pain

Realization:
I realize that talking within/as my mind as backchat- fearing pain - is me in separation with pain - reacting to it as a negative energetic experience defined by a memory - so assist myself to get to know all parts of me as the body - as the blood that runs through the arteries and veins of my physical body - being intimate to/as it in equality and oneness - as the muscles that assist me to move - being intimate to/as it in equality and oneness as all the different parts of my body.


Self Correction Script:
When and as i see myself fearing pain - i stop - i breathe. I assist myself to equalize with/as my physical body. I assist myself to look at what i accepted and allowed within/as the mind - thoughts, backchats etc. and in self-intimacy give self to self by doing self-forgiveness for what i have accepted and allowed within/as my mind that created this consequence of pain - and apply myself as self-aware physical being  in my daily living - not accepting and allowing myself or anyone to harm my physical body - and to not position any part of it  in prayer position - pushing it to be in a position directed by the mind - and assisting myself to in that equalizing with/as the physical/body - learn everything about it and how to direct every movement as self, listen to interviews about its  interdimensionality and blog about the body and my experience of myself in/as it - to make this a reality.

Happiness: Fear, My Grandmother, The Virgin Mary And The Rosary Day 134 SCS




 



The Subconscious Mind

Self- Correction Script:


I realise that i was talking within/as my mind fearing my grandmother getting angry - without looking at the common sense that i can in fact talk to her and tell her how i am experiencing myself at that moment and instead of being directed by fear - assist myself to direct me to be self-trust and see my grandmother as who she really is - as an equal - as the flesh - as the blood - as the physical - made from the same substance i am made of - as all are made of.

When and as i see myself fearing my grandmother within/as my mind - i stop - i breathe. I bring myself back here and assist myself to see who i really am - as the real character - that is here as breath in every moment - standing for what is best for all life.

===

I realize that judging my grandmother as more than me and me less than myself - believing that because she gave birth to my mother - believing that my mother will not be here without my grandmother and that i will not be here without my mom - is fear of me not existing - so instead of specializing my grandmother and believing i am lucky to be alive - i assist myself to look at the common sense that my mother. myself and my grandmother is made from the same substance all are made of - equal to all that exist. I am here. I am not defined by life and death.

When and as i see myself judging my grandmother as more than me and me less than myself - i stop - i breathe. I bring myself back here and look at who i am as the real character - as the flesh - as the blood -as the physical character breathing in every moment here - as equal to my mom and my grandmother - as equal to all that exist.

===

I realize that talking within/as my mind separating from my body, fearing pain - is me existing in an alternate reality where both of us are alternate versions of ourselves-  instead of being here as the real physical character- as the flesh - as the blood - equal to my grandmother - stabilizing me as the breath - communicating with/as her as an equal - assisting myself to tell her exactly what i am experiencing within and as myself and telling her exactly where i stand - that i will not accept and allow for her to pinch me to join her in praying the rosary asking for mercy from Mary - and ask her to look at the common sense that we are here as breath in every moment - made from the same substance all are made of and that we do not need to pray to Mary for anything - we can simply live as who we are - equal to all that exist.

When and as i see myself  separating from my body, fearing pain - i stop - i breathe. I assist myself to equalize with/as my body - and communicate with my grandmother to stop pinching me.

To be continued



Saturday, August 25, 2012

Happiness: My Grandmother, The 'Virgin Mary' , Conception, Sex and The Rosary : Day 133

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In my last blog, i did self-forgiveness for believing i will make my grandmother happy by praying the rosary with her. In this blog i am doing my self-commitment statement in the beginning part and then i will do some more self-forgiveness for backchats etc. 
==
Self-commitment Statement:


I commit myself to when and as i see myself  believing 'what my Grandmother loves i am supposed to love' - i stop - i breath. I realize that this comes from 'fear of my grandmother getting angry' - where i forced myself to pray the rosary when i was very young - where at  about 4am to 5am in the morning when she recited the rosary inside the mosquito net ( we sleep using the net so mosquitoes will not bite us on the skin) where she would pinch me in my thigh so i will wake up and pray the rosary with her - where within this - the scenes of how painful that pinch was and the voice of my grandmother plus her spoken word  'ave maria purissima' ('most pure Mary')and my 'ilicited forced response' 'sin pecado concebida' ('conceived without sin') replays within/as my mind like a movie where,

 My backchats were:

'I am just her granddaughter'
'She will get angry if i do not pray with her'
'I better do this even if i don't like to'
'If i don't do what she wants me to do she will keep pinching me until i wake up'
'Rather than prolong the misery, i will just wake up and do what she wants me to do to keep the peace '
'This might be what is good for me to do'

Through this, i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to use backchat as a method to fear  my grandmother getting angry.

===
The Subconscious Mind
Self-forgiveness for Backchats:

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to use backchat as a method to judge my grandmother as more than me and me less than myself believing that the past generation - as my  grandmother -  gave my mom the seeds (ovary in her body to produce eggs that united with my dad's sperms) to be able to 'procreate' - believing that without those seeds from my grandmother, my father and my mother-  i will not be alive - defining myself within the fear of not existing - and through this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge my grandmother as more than myself and me less than myself believing that i am lucky to be alive - not realizing that this is coming from the starting point of fear  of not existing.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to use backchat as a method to judge my grandmother as more than myself and me less than myself

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to use backchat as a method to fear pain
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to use backchat as a method to separate from my body.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to use backchat as a method to separate from pain
The Mosquito Net
===



I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the words 'ave maria purisima' ('most pure Mary') , 'sin pecado concebida' ('conceived without sin'), by giving these words a positive value - where i am  using these words to ask for mercy - judging myself as a sinner - judging myself as less than myself,  and specializing Mary - judging her as more than myself - where i venerate Mary through the words 'ave maria purisima' ('most pure Mary') , 'sin pecado concebida' ('conceived without sin') - where i believed she conceived Jesus without having sex with Joseph - which i created within/as my mind based on books i have read and words i have heard in church - without really testing and investigating all the dimensions of this - hoping that she will have mercy on me or answer my prayers - hoping that she will bless me - defining myself within the 'hoping' character and the 'words as prayer' character.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to suppress myself and diminish myself by letting my grandmother direct what i say and do - rather than me directing what i say and do - defining myself within the   'self-suppression' character

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within the 'giving up' character where because i pity myself at that moment - 'pitying myself' believing that i do not have the right to say 'no' - so 'gave up on myself' instead of saying 'no' and tell my grandmother what i am experiencing at that moment.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not realize/see or understand that i am accepting and allowing the physical body to be abused at that moment - the same physical body that is assisting me to move and express myself in the physical - defining myself within the 'victim' character.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear anger - desiring peace - defining myself within peace and chaos - agreement and disagreement - anger and no anger, fear or no fear.



I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to doubt what is good for me - defining  who i am as the 'doubting' character - that i created within/as my mind - as i believed i am split into 2 - one that is eternal and one that is not eternal, one that is perfect and one that is not perfect - doubting and uncertain of who i am - so gave my grandmother the authority to decide for/as myself  - not realizing that i am here as breath in every moment..

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge Mary as more than myself and me less than myself - within/as my mind - defining myself within the 'Virgin Mary' character - not realizing that this is an idea that made up within/as my mind that is not real - as i created an alternate version of me in an alternate reality and created an alternate version of Mary - which is pure and conceived without sin - which i only heard the priest saying and read some prayer books writing about Mary - but NO ONE has really seen Mary - i just gave life to her in my imagination which i believed to be real because of what i have seen and heard which i did not really investigate the full details of/as.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear not existing - so desires to have eternal life - believing that 'through praying the rosary through Mary i will be able to make Jesus save me - defining myself within the 'save me Jesus through Mary' character -  not realizing i am here as the flesh - as the body - as the physical - made from the same substance all are made of - which essentially mean i am equal to all that exist.

Sleepiness
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to desire to sleep - but remains awake because of fear of being pinched by my grandmother - defining myself within the 'fear of sleeping' character.

The Breath:
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to while praying the rosary - i am not here as the breath in every moment - holding my breath, as i am having backchat about why i was doing what i was doing - defining myself within the 'holding the breath in prayer' character

The Body:
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself 'as the knees' bent push me into positions expressing 'desire to be loved' - defining myself within the 'knees bent as desire to be loved' character
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself 'as the forefinger and the thumb of the right hand' touching the bead of the rosary push me into positions expressing 'desire to be loved' - defining myself within the 'forefinger and thumb touching beads as desire to be loved' character.

Reaction:
Anger
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be angry to myself that i have been weak to say 'no, please do not pinch the body' - defining myself within the 'weak' character

Fear
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to react in fear by doing what i was told to do by my grandmother - defining myself within the 'reacting in fear of grandmother' character

Consequence
I 'tried to like what i was doing', until one day i saw myself 'liking to pray the rosary' - manipulating myself to manifest the desire to 'love what my grandmother loves to do - pray ',  in the physical - as i 'experience some calmness when i pray the rosary' - believing it was Jesus or the 'Virgin Mary' that is 'giving me that calmness'.
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I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to manipulate myself to manifest a consequence - of my desire 'to love what my grandmother love' by praying the rosary daily with her - where, as i pray with my grandmother daily i started loving what she loves to do as it is seemingly 'giving me calmness' - as the sound of the repeated words uttered by us reverberate within/as the mind - believing that it is real - not realizing that i manipulated myself to' get that feeling of calmness' within/as my mind - as i act out the 'rosary - prayer' character defining who i am towards my relationship with 'praying the rosary'.




Thursday, August 23, 2012

Happiness: Basil In 'Fawlty Towers': Laughter: 'Stupidity' Character Day 132


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HAPPINESSS

In this blog, i am looking at who i am as the 'happiness' character - laughing while watching the 'Fawlty Towers' tv show and doing self-forgiveness for the characters in the show that i have become and do self- corrective application - so i can step out of that character to birth me here as the real character - as the physical/substance.
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Self-forgiveness Statements:
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within the 'happy - laughing ' character - where when i see someone behave in a way that is not accepted by society  - i laugh - or suppress the laughter - judging the person doing it as less than me and me more than myself - and when i do the same thing - i hide it from others - where my secret judgments of people and myself - become open for all to laugh at- so rather than stop - i laugh to entertain myself  - where laughter becomes a tool for mind participation and the continuing existence of the 'happy - laughing ' mind character . 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to laugh when i watch the 'Fawlty towers' tv show - where the stupidity of the characters makes me laugh - defining myself within the 'laughing on Basil - stupidity' character - where he shows the 'stupidity' character in detail and so instead of me stopping - i laugh at him - and as i entertain myself with someone acting out the 'stupidity' character - the tv station earns a lot of money from staging shows that mimic our mind participation - so we, in supporting the current monetary system, the media, etc. - all ensure that we stay as the 'happy' mind character - never stepping out of character - never really getting a chance to - knowing who we are as the real character that is here as the breath in every moment.- as the physical/substance - equal to all that exist. 

                                          The Kipper and the Corpse - Part 1 of 3


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to compare dogs to humans and judge dogs as less than humans believing that because they look differently than humans and sound differently than humans - they bark rather than talk - they are not one and equal as humans.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear being bitten by dogs - where i react in fear when their teeth and saliva touch my skin and they bark at me -  defining myself within the 'i fear dogs' character - through this,  i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realise and understand that when i react in fear the mind takes a replay of the scenes that it had captured recreating the scenes of that incident and the relationship i had with the dog from the beginning to the end - as a thought manifestation  - where it becomes an activation point for the entire character within/as ones mind  as who i am towards this dog - as the mind will utilize that moment where it did not have control over that dog - the mind utilizing the moment to regain control in its relationship towards all dogs - when one sees a similar  'look'  - where fear activates within the mind in the physical that  manifests in ones physical body - experiencing some tightness etc. - adrenalin rush of fear - where fear extracts resources  from the physical body - defining me within who i am in relation to all dogs.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to take care of dogs to ensure i do not get lonely - enslaving dogs by making them my companion - to entertain me and to keep me company - and as i behave as the mind character i also motivate them to behave as a mind character - wanting them to be happy when i am happy and sad when i am sad. - defining myself as the 'dog enslavement' character - rather than taking care of dogs and letting them express oneself here equal to all that exist.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be entertained by gossip - defining myself within the 'gossip is entertaining' character - where i talk about what people do that is good or bad - acting as the judge - defining myself within the 'morality' character - passing the moment doing things that do not contribute to what is best for all - acting in self-interest  - and letting others take responsibility for things i could have taken responsibility for myself.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not be here in every moment of breath - where i do not really see what is going on  around me - when i have a thought, backchat or reactions - where i am not here - the 'unaware' character is here - in where i suffer the consequence by creating problems for myself and others 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to talk incessantly - using my vocal cords - perceived separate from me - using words separate from me and talking to other mind characters - perceived separate from me- defining myself within the 'talkative' character.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the body's death is something to be scared about  - through this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself  within the 'fear of a dead man's body' character 

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Self-commitment

I commit myself to when and as i see myself define myself within the happy- laughing' character  when someone behave in a way that is not accepted in society - as in stupidity -  i stop - i breathe . I realize that i want to just laugh and entertain myself - instead of putting it back to myself and looking at what i have participated in within/as my mind -using writing, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application in correcting myself in every moment  to birth me here as the real character - and instead of supporting other mind characters doing the same thing and earning money from comedy shows about stupidity - i commit myself to expose them in my blogs - so as i birth myself 'within' - i also do what is best for all - and assist in establishing a world that truly honors life 'without'.

I commit to when and as i judge dogs as less than humans because they bark rather than talk - i stop - i breathe. I realize that language as we know it and use it is - us as the mind character in separation from/of words. I assist myself to redefine words and birth me here as the 'living word' and stand equal with/as dog's barks.

I commit myself to when and as i fear being bitten by dogs - i stop - i breathe. I realize i have separated myself from the bark of a big dog - which i connected to him reaping off my face - i stop participating and stomp my feet and say 'i am here'.



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