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Monday, December 31, 2012

Guru Mathematics 3: Longing Part 1: Day 232 Redefining 'GURU'Location: Family: Postponement

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Topic: Self-forgiving me and correcting me in my living application standing equal with the mind and stopping participation to birth me here as equal to/as all Life
Specific Point: My Mind Relationship with the Guru

What is Self-forgiveness?
http://juneroca.com/my-process/self-forgiveness/

Why am i using Mathematics?
I am using mathematical symbols to illustrate how i gave mind values instead of giving  real values as the value of every manifestation is equal to the value that is Life 

The Dimensions of the Mind:

Fear as The Base Platform of the Mind

Fear: Fear of not being able to go to India and see the guru

Conscious:
Thought : picture of me standing with wide eyes listening to the monk telling me i have to see Baba (the guru)
Imaginationme feeling something different when i see him
Reaction: wonder

Subconscious
Backchat: 'there must be some magical feeling being with the guru'

Unconscious
Body Movement: upper part of chest feeling warm. eyes opening wide

Consequence: learning from how i developed a relationship with the guru  - within existing as an energy experience  that i believed was real when it is in fact existent within a relationship that is coming from a MIND simulated version of reality as the physical body and this physical existence - so facing the consequence and breathing through it as i stand and change and birth me here as who i am

Intoducing The Quantum Mind
Introducing The Quantum Mind System(Systemization)

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FEAR 
MIND DIMENSION

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself

 to participate in the design of/as

 'fear of surviving -as divinity - as space and time'

to fear not being able to go to India and see the guru
believing i have to see the guru to be a real 'devotee'


so gave the money 
that was given to me by my ex-husband
to a monk 
hoping i can go to India

and 'did what was asked for me to do' 
to be able to see him in India

like a hypnotized walking human 
in an alternate reality

within my mind

where i am an alternate version of me

leaving my kids behind

with just a maid to care for them

when my ex-husband was about to fly back home

from working from another country

i am secretly plotting to fly to another country to see the guru
believing that he will not approve of this

believing that if i 
POSTPONE
 in telling him the truth
   
 i will not have to fear his anger
i will not have to fear having a disagreement

 i will be able to do what i desire/want

believing that i can 
face my ex-husband
face his anger when i return home
 face the disagreement

believing by then, i already did what i want to do
 or that which i desire to do  so i win that way

believing the divine love that binds me and the guru
is more than the love that binds me to my family
as i saw the monks leave their family to be with the guru

the evil me running away from what is here
to go somewhere out there

believing India is a location that i have to be 

believing the guru is special

so i must to go to India  

to get a positive energy mind  experience

not realizing that
India's soil is made of the same substance 
the soil in the Phippines is made of  

believing the guru is superior and i am inferior
believing that the guru has power to see the future and i don't

not seeing and realizing
that my mind is like a computer
storing information and memories 
from the past 
and living the past as the future in the present

instead of realizing that my guru can see the mind's 
perception of the future - as the past in the present
as he sees through his mind's eyes
 events in a timeline 
that is like a seed
that is pre-programmed

and never asked the question:
 Is him and me part of a pre- programmed seed?
Is him and me part of an interconnected system 
Is him and me part of the grid?
Is everyone/everything a seed, that is pre-programmed 
within space and time? 

believing what the monk said
 accepting what she said as my truth

 connecting what she said with other 
positive energy experiences i had in the past

like when i visited  the city when i was a child
like when i ate peanut butter from the jar
like when i took a shower under the rain with my cousins 
 happy, enjoying myself, shouting and laughing
like the time when we  visited malls 
where my mom bought me food that i like

as memories within my mind
within positive (and negative) energy experiences

making the past as the future in the present

separate from what is here as the physical
out there in the FUTURE other than HERE

instead of realizing all is HERE

in this moment

i only have to stop participating in my mind
and stay with the physical
and be who i am as breath here in every moment

self-forgiving who i have become as the mind
 and correcting myself in my living application
and birth me here as who i am
equal to - all life

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Mathematics of giving Mind Values 
Vs
Giving Values Equal to Life

 I realized that had given a mind value more than Life 
to the Guru
 and to where he lives, India
where 

Guru = special
India = where the guru lives

Guru = special
India's soil  = special
Guru = +10
India's soil = +10

Me = not special
Me = lives in the Philippines

Me = -10
Philippines (where i was then) = -10

Me = not special
Philippines = not special
Philippine soil = -10

*therefore i want to go to India
not realizing
 these are mind values 
which are not real
as i made them up in my mind 
not seeing and realising 
the real value 
of all that is here as Life
not seeing the common sense that
India's soil is made of the same substance
 the soil in the Philippines is made of
India's soil = Life
Philippine soil = Life 
=== 

'Family Love and Divine Love'

I realized i had given a mind value to 'Divine Love' 

'Guru's Love = divine love= +20
Family's Love = mundane Love = +10

Divine love
 = love that endures after death as the guru liberates me from bondage of birth and death
=+20

 Family's love
 = limited to love in this physical existence therefore love that binds
= +10'

Blaming the physical/substance

 for giving the guru more value

and giving my ex-husband and kids lesser value 


not realizing it is me as the evil me
giving  manifestations mind values 

not realizing love as an emotion that is the polarity opposite of 
fear is not real as fear and love are like 2 poles of a magnet

not realizing that 
my guru's body/physical/substance 
is equal to my ex-husband's  body/physical/substance 
is equal to my kid's body/physical/substance  
is equal to my body/physical/substance
 is equal to the body/physical/substance of nature
is equal to the body/physical/substance of animals
is equal to the body/physical/substance of plants

so for me to give all the real value that is  equal to Life

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Commitment to Correction

I commit myself to when and as i see myself 
fearing not being able to go to India and see the guru 
or not being able to go anywhere which i believed is special
because of a personality which i believed is special

I stop
I breathe

I realise that i connected the guru to 
being special 
as he is able to see the future
believing he is able to give me eternal life 
or liberate me from my samaskara or karma

so connected his specialness
 to the place he was residing, India 

not realizing that these connections i did within my mind
an alternate reality
where i am an alternate version of me

so i assist myself to release myself from these 
connections 

and redefine the word 'guru' 

I commit myself to assist myself to through writing, self-forgiveness and 
self-correction in my living application 
birth me here as who i am 
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Redefining the Word 'GURU'

( sounds like Go  RU-sh, Go RU-n)

From 
G-o  to  yo-U-r teache-R and U-rge him/her for a positive energy experience

To
G-o be yo-U-r  own teache-R and U-sher a life based on equality 
==

Note: The other mind dimensions will follow

To Be Continued

Pork Roast : Gravy or No Gravy Part 3: Day 232 Fear : Survival: Postponement





  


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This Blog is a continuation of this blog
http://junejourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/12/pork-roast-gravy-or-no-gravy-day-230.html

Event: X-mas gathering with my partner's family

My Decision: Make a gravy out of pan drippings and serve it with the pork roast 
My partner's decision: Leave the pan drippings as it is - do not make a gravy


I will use self-forgiveness in this blog for fears i saw and continue from Part 2.


I highlighted the Fears i will do self-forgiveness for in this blog - below

I am doing self-commitment in blogs to come and live the correction in my breath by breath movement to birth me here as life.


Fears behind the decision to make a gravy: 


Fear of the texture of the gravy (using pan drippings as gravy) not being 'right' as per the culinary standards/rules

Fear of  being a bad chef

Fear of not being popular

Fear of not being liked by my partner's family when i bring a pork roast with a thin, runny gravy

Fear of being alone

 
Fear of being bored by being just by myself

Fear of going crazy

Fear of being in a mental institution

Fear of not being in control

Fear of being bad

 Fear of hurting/killing others

Fear of being in prison

Fear of not having the freedom to live life and not do what I like

Fear of being sad

Fear of wasting my time on Earth
                                                                                                                 Mind Loop 

Fear of REGRETTING the way i lived my life

Fear that I did not use the time that I had to live life fully

Fear of blaming myself that I did not live life fully

Fear of feeling guilty
Fear of re-doing what i postponed to do

Fear of starting from the beginning again/reincarnating

Fear of being in a loop and not getting the whole point of what life is about

Fear of not knowing who, what, where, when, how I am

Fear of not doing what is needed of me to be who I am as life

                                                                                                                     Mind Loop
  

Fear of REGRETTING living my life the way i did
 
Fear of not being someone who is happy all the time
 
Fear of going through a longer process

Fear of not enjoying the fruits of life fully while lived
 

Fear of eternal pain/suffering

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Self-forgiveness Statements

What is Self-forgiveness?
http://juneroca.com/my-process/self-forgiveness/

Fear that I did not use the time that I had to live life fully

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the design of/as 'fear of surviving - as space and time'

fear regretting that i did not use the time i had on earth to live fully after i die - defined within the past, present and future - instead of  realizing that i am here in every moment of breath moving me - directing me.

Fear of blaming myself that I did not live life fully


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself  'as fear of not surviving - as emotion' regretting not having lived fully  and blame myself 
perceiving a life fully lived as experiencing a happy life - not realizing that i am projecting my fears in the future


Fear of feeling guilty
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to participate inthe design of/as ' fear of surviving  - as guilt' be guilty 
for not living life fully - after death -believing life has to be spent in bliss and happiness here on earth - not realizing that i am here as breath in every moment and so live life in /as every moment

Fear of re-doing what i postponed to do
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the design of/as' fear of surviving -as doingness - as postponement' fear re - doing what i postponed to do believing that it will cause suffering, pain and difficulty to re-do something, believing that i have to know who i am now so i can do what needs to be done to live life fully.

Fear of starting from the beginning again/reincarnating
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the design of/as ' fear of surviving - as space and time - as positive energy'  fear starting from the beginning again or reincarnating again believing that i have wasted so much time by then as i did not do what i need to do  because i postponed doing a lot of things- believing that i deserve to rest and enjoy myself in a peaceful blissful place after my struggles on earth as a human - desiring a positive energy experience - not realizing that desire for peace, bliss and happiness started/originated from fear of sadness, difficulty and pain - not realizing i have to face my fears of sadness, difficulty, pain etc. 

Fear of being in a loop and not getting the whole point of what life is about
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myselfto participate in the design of/as ' fear of surviving - as information and knowledge' fear being in a loop and not getting the whole point of what life is about believing that i should know all the details of what life is about first before i can live life fully - as information and knowledge separate from who i am - not realizing that i am here as breath in every moment - and  that i can stop my mind and directly see the state/condition of all that is here as this physical existence - yet because i am participating in my mind i cannot directly see 

Fear of not knowing who, what, where, when, how I am
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the design of/as ' fear of surviving -as an individual' fear not knowing who, what, where, when and how i am -believing that i have to know so i will know how to navigate and live life - not realizing that who i am is here as breath in every moment, and to realise that what i am is a human in a body in/as breath, where i am is HERE, and that 'when i am' is here referencing the moment in this physical existence, and that 'how i am' is the same in every moment moving me here as breath

Fear of not doing what is needed of me to be who I am as all life
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself 'as fear of not surviving - as all Life'
 to fear not doing what is needed of me to be who i am as all Life - believing that i am inferior and can only survive as an individual and take care of the family and groups that i belong to

- believing that to birth me here, as all life is very difficult and is almost impossible 
- believing that to survive as an individual is difficult enough and to survive as one and equal as all life is almost impossible 

-not realizing that who i am is HERE as the breath in every moment able to see the state and condition of all that is HERE in this physical existence in every 'holding moment' of breath and change and move in the in-breath and the out-breath moment by moment

- not realizing that  to stop mind participation in an alternate reality, being with the physical as who i am, standing for what is best for all life, moving me and expressing me as who i am,  birthing me here within my process of self-perfection and assisting in establishing a world that truly honors life - is a commonsensical thing to do

Continued

Saturday, December 29, 2012

Guru Mathematics 2 Day 231 Surrender: Fear: Survival: Postponement


  

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My Food and Nutrition Blog Site:

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Topic: Self-forgiving me and correcting me in an equal and one standing as the mind and stopping participation in the mind system within to birth me here as equal to/as all Life
Specific Point: My Mind Relationship with the Guru
 
Using Mathematics:
I am using mathematical symbols to illustrate how i gave mind values instead of giving  real values as the value of every form is/as equal to Life itself

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Self-forgiveness 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself 

to participate in the design of/as 

'fear of surviving - as knowledge and information'

fear not having enough information and knowledge like the guru
so surrendered to the 'guru'

believing he is superior

as he said he can see his devotees' thoughts, the devotees past, present and future

believing him

believing i am inferior

as i can only see my past and present

but cannot see  my future

so, gave up on myself and surrendered to the guru's

perceived 'power'

believing that because i am 'powerless' to

see the future

i have to have a 'guru' that sees the future

instead of realizing i am making

the past as the future in the present

when i time travel in compartments within my mind

never here

so cannot directly see what is here

as all that is here in this moment

as all the events in the history of this physical existence

so instead of stopping and birthing me here as the physical

and directly see the condition of all that is here in this physical existence

 in/as the 'holding moment' of every breath

i  instead surrendered to the 'guru'

not realizing that the guru can only see the future

because he is part of the grid

that is pre- programmed

like a seed
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I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to NOT ask myself these
 commonsensical questions to see my starting point in wanting to surrender to a guru:

 1. What fear is driving me to want/desire to surrender to a 'guru'?
2.Why am i asking the guru to take responsibility in my behalf  - why am i giving up on myself?
3. Why am i postponing my own standing as who i am as life?

and self-honestly see the answers to these questions:

1. Fear of taking self-responsibility for all parts of me as all life
2. The mind as me, within self-sabotage - as who i have become, as a program, as a system
3. Fear of facing the consequence of what i have done - believing it is difficult to take responsibility for all as me

*not seeing the common sense  that  i have to face the consequence

of what i have accepted and allowed and correct myself in my living

*not seeing the common sense that there is no other easy way out

*not seeing that the 'guru' himself was downloaded the genes of his parents

therefore he is also part of the system

*not seeing that he himself trapped himself within the past, present and future as time

*not seeing that because my starting point is fear - fear was driving me

not directing me here as self as who i am - lost in an alternate reality within my mind

within a mind awareness - not here as the real awareness

self-directing me as who i am

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Mathematics of Giving Positive and Negative Values
Vs
Giving Values Equal to Life

I realized

 i gave a positive value to the guru

as i believed he can see the future

where

 the guru  was given a value more than life

guru = knows what will happen  in the future = superior = powerful

= positive energy experience

 = +10

where

a devotee/as myself cannot see the future

 powerless to see the future

= negative energy experience 

= -10

not realizing that 


these mind values are NOT REAL


i made them up within my mind


based on my fear of not knowing the future


uncertain of who i will become

not realizing that

i can direct myself to stop 


stopping time travelling within different compartments in my mind

and birthing me here as who i am as life

realizing the body/physical/substance
is equal to the body/physical/substance of nature
is equal to the body/physical/substance of plants
is equal to the body/physical/substance of animals

as they all consist of atoms consisting of substance
of/as Life

and so, 
Redefining the word FUTURE
to 

F-reedom as U-se of physical struc-TURE 
standing for what is best for all

 leading to the sequence of events 
that births life here forevermore 

as I simply live  as who i am 


equal to all that is here

using words as equal to my expression 

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Commitment to Correct Myself 

I commit myself to when and as i see myself
fearing not having enough information and knowledge 
about the future 
or fear not seeing the future 

I stop

I breathe

I  assist myself to bring myself back to what is here

as the breathe

referencing the moment

as i move me

as i direct me here in every moment

I commit myself to assist myself to accept and allow me to see directly the

condition/state of all in this physical existence

in every 'holding moment'

and moving and changing with/as all that is here

in every in-breath and out-breath
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I commit myself to be with my physical heartbeat

feeling the pulse of the physical

until i become the pulse of life

living as a living example

and as i birth myself - birth life here

to stay here forevermore
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