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Friday, December 21, 2012

The End of The World: What Will I Do? Part 2 Day 225: Fear of Not Surviving



This Blog Is A Continuation of this Blog:
December 21, 2012: What Will I Do?

In this blog, i am expanding the self-forgiveness from part 1 
to see who i have become as the mind 
within 'fear of not surviving'
to through writing self-forgiveness, commitment to correct myself 
in my breath by breath living application
to birth me here as life
and birth a world that truly honors life

My Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself 

to participate in the design of/as 

'fear of surviving - as space and time' 
to have a relationship with fear 

fearing the end of the world 
oracles and prophecies 
made by people who i believed 
 have a power to know what the future 
will be
not realizing that i am the  creator and the created
so i take self-responsibility for the consequence i have created

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself 
 to be trapped  within space and time
within/as my mind time travelling 
in compartments in my mind
thinking, imagining, reacting etc.
to events in the past, present and future
within self-interest
only after my own survival as an individual separate from all
hoping that the world will not end
so i can live eternally
not realizing 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself 
'as fear of not surviving - as information and knowledge'
fear not having information and knowledge
about what the future will bring
reading and listening to information and knowledge 
being spread by/in/as the media
 magazines, television shows, videos in the internet, 
and taking them as my truth
without testing it in all ways
from the perspective of
 this information and knowledge 
being what is best for all
in all dimensions/layers of existence

I commit myself to when and as i see myself
 fearing not surviving 
desiring information about what the future will bring

I stop
I breathe

I realize this is me fearing not having information about the future

so in my desire to know what's going to happen in the future
i connect
 what i read and hear 
in videos, magazines, television programs, books etc. 
talking about different doomsday prophecies 
to events in the past where i was present in a funeral 
seeing a dead body
seeing people crying and sad
viewing the remains of someone who died
i compared what i saw before
when this person
was was moving, talking - alive
and what i saw in the viewing
as a person that does not move, does not speak - dead
uncertain about why this is happening 
uncertain about what death is about

So i am assisting myself to see what is here
as who i am as breath
in  every moment

not defined by movement
not defined by sound frequency of voices the ears hear

To assist myself to accept and allow me to see who i am
as self-movement
moving me here in every breath
as i stop the noise in my head
hearing what is here
as the hereness of sound
within and as myself
as i equalize with/as all that is here
as life
and assist in establishing a world that truly honors life
based on equality
where all survive in dignity
where i will not fear not surviving 

I commit myself to through writing, self-forgiveness and commitment 
to correct myself in my
breath by breath living application
stop time travelling in different compartments in my mind
thinking, imagining the past etc.
and assist myself to reference the moment
and express me in every moment
in this physical existence
as who i am 

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