Tao of Food Preparation Recipes

Tao of Food Preparation Recipes
'Living' E-book

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Pork Roast: Gravy or No Gravy: Day 228: Fears: Survival


Note: Link To My Partner's Blog Will Follow


Christmas and family gathering around the dinner table brought forth a lot of hidden fears
from a simple decision to either make a gravy out of the pan drippings or just leave the pan drippings as it is.

My partner's decision: Leave the pan drippings as it is - do not make a gravy
My decision: Make a gravy out of the pan drippings of the baked pork roast

I looked at who i am within this decision and found out the fears behind this decision.
My partner did another blog as he also looked .

I will use self-forgiveness in this blog, self-commitment in blogs to come and live the correction in my breath by breath movement to birth me here as life

Me as The mind 
Fears that was hidden was uncovered:

Fear of the texture of the gravy not being 'right' as per the culinary standards/rules

Fear of  being a bad chef

Fear of not being popular

Fear of not being liked by my partner's family when i bring a pork roast with a thin, runny gravy

Fear of being alone

Fear of being bored by being just by myself

Fear of going crazy

Fear of being in a mental institution

Fear of not being in control

Fear of being bad

Fear of hurting/killing others

Fear of being in prison


Fear of not having the freedom to live life and not do what I like

Fear of being sad

Fear of wasting my time on Earth
                                                                                                                 Mind Loop

Fear of REGRETTING the way i lived my life

Fear that I did not use the time that I had to live life fully

Fear of blaming myself that I did not live life fully

Fear of feeling guilty

Fear of doing something to make up for it

Fear of starting from the beginning again/reincarnating

Fear of being in a loop and not getting the whole point of what life is about

Fear of not knowing who, what, where, when, how I am

Fear of not doing what is needed of me to be who I am as life
                                                                                                                     Mind Loop

Fear of REGRETTING living my life the way i did


Fear of not being someone who is happy all the time


Fear of going through a longer process

Fear of not enjoying the fruits of life fully while lived
Fear of eternal pain/suffering

***
My Self-forgiveness

Fear of the texture of the gravy not being 'right' as per the culinary standards/rules
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself  to participate in the design of/as 'fear of surviving - as information and knowledge' fear not being 'right' as per the culinary standards/rules in serving a baked pork roast with thick smooth gravy - which is what i have seen in television cooking shows where beef pot roast and pork roasts are
being served with gravy - through this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe
in what i see and hear as information and knowledge separate from me - not realizing that the pig
is giving up its life for the body/physical of humans to survive

Fear of being labeled as being a bad chef
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself  to participate in the design of/as 'fear of surviving - as knowledge and information ' fear being labeled as 'not a good chef' defined as serving a pork roast with pan drippings rather than serve it with gravy like those with culinary experience serve it - believing that serving the baked pork roast with gravy is more professional not realizing that this is coming from what i heard and seen that i accepted as my truth - and words i  use which was given a mind definition - such as the word 'professional'

Fear of not being popular
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the design of/as 'fear of surviving - as an individual' fear not being popular and special - wanting to be superior to everyone - as i fear being inferior to everyone - perceiving myself separate from all not realizing that who i am is the physical/body/substance equal to all that is here

Fear of not being liked by my partner's family when i bring a pork roast with a thin, runny gravy 
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the design of/as 'fear of surviving - as a family ' fear that i will not bet liked by my partner's family -believing that i can satisfy their mind's likes and dislikes - not realizing that this is me as the mind defined by others liking or not liking me and the food i prepare

Fear of being alone
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself  to participate in the design of/as 'fear of surviving - as an individual - as help' fear being alone without a family to help and support me when i cannot assist and support myself fearing not being helped - fearing not being able to survive alone - fear of being a bum - fear of being poor - not  having anything to eat and then die without anyone knowing who i am as a character/personality that lived on earth - fearing the future - not realizing that within this is current unequal economic system - as people do not have the basic necessities to survive, so fear of not surviving is a product of an unequal economic system

Fear of being bored by being just by myself

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the design of/as 'fear of surviving - as an individual - as sound' fear being bored by myself, needing to be part of a family/ group of individuals that will ensure my survival as a personality/character hearing different sounds from different people's voices which tells me i am alive - as one of those sounds can give me a positive energy experience - not realizing that who i am is not defined by sound based on frequency

Fear of going crazy 
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the design of/as 'fear of surviving - as sound, as movement' fear going crazy believing that if i will be left alone without having someone talking to me, nor anyone making any movements around me i will go crazy being silent  - not realizing i am not defined by other's talking - as sound as frequency and other's physical movements driven by their mind

Fear of being in a mental institution
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the design of/as 'fear of surviving -as information and knowledge' fear being in a mental institution without any idea of 'who i am' within/as my mind defined by memories - as the personality/character - not realizing that i am here as breath in every moment - able to express oneself and able to stop the mind as memories to exist in/as self-remembrance

Fear of not being in control
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the design of/as 'fear of not surviving - as control - as information and knowledge ' fear not being in control,  without information and knowledge - fearing not knowing who my father is and who my mother is, fearing not knowing 'who i am' as a personality/character defined by memories of the past - as experiences - not able to control what i think about anything and anyone and not able to control my actions , fearing i will do something to hurt someone - not realizing that i am here as breath moving me moment by moment as my in-breath and my out-breath and the 'holding the moment' in between

Fear of being bad
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the design of/as 'fear of not surviving -as morality - as relationships'
fear being bad desiring to be good so that i will be liked by my family and friends believing that when i do something wrong my family and friends will reject me as i defined myself within morality - not realizing that who i am  is here as breath able to stand for what is best for all life

Continued in the next blog


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