BIRTHING: Music Lyrics

Lyrics:

I am birthing myself here

I am hu-man
made of the same
flesh and bone

I am birthing myself here
my feet on the planet
walking on the same grass
that is underneath your feet

I am birthing myself 
as a part of the whole
as life on earth

everywhere i can see
the quality of life that is necessary
to birth life on earth

Look beyond
the color
of the skin

bones, muscles
veins, and arteries
cells that work
for the body to function

I am hu-man
made of the same
flesh and bone
equal to the body

I am birthing myself 
as part of the whole 
as life on earth

Born with a unique
DNA

seemingly different
in shape and form

breathing the same air
breathed by all
our cells communicating
in unison

life is here
listen to the roar 
of the ocean
the beating of the heart

the same breath
permeating the substance
where the rhythm of all
becomes the stance

singing the same origin
we all came from-

The body is an organism
let it sing
and create art

for in the heart of water
all our words resonate
synchronized orchestra
that has the same message

I am birthing myself 
as a part of the whole
as life on earth

the same substance
communicating the birthing
of life on earth

as the body sing and dance
it celebrates
the birthing of life on earth

Feminine and Masculine: My Dad and Mom's Story

Mom Meeting Dad 

My mom's story about how she ended up marrying my Dad is interesting.

So, let's start,

'When she was 18, while having a school vacation in the country where my grandmother lived, she was invited to go to an island nearby. She was invited to attend a fiesta/feast for 1 week.

They rode a small boat and there were big waves in the sea. So, they went to a small island to avoid the big waves.

When they arrived, they went to town. That same night, my mom attended a basketball game where my dad was also present.

My mom said my dad was looking at her.

The next day she met my dad in the fiesta/feast again when she went there.

On the 3^rd day they met again.

After 5 days, my father sent all of them an invitation to have food with him where he worked. 

She and the rest of the group went to where my dad  was. He made makeshift huts and invited them all to stay for a day.

He was the engineer that managed the mine in that town so he made sure they were fed and had roof over their head.

According to my mom, food was abundant for everyone to enjoy. These included different kinds of fruits available in the island. There were also baskets of eggs and chicken.

When they were about to go home, my father, hired a small boat and went with my mom and the group in my mom’s town.

My father stayed in my mom’s town and stayed in one dormitory that belonged to my mom’s aunt.

He sent my grandmother gifts, like food stuff daily

My grandmother cannot say 'no' to that. She was a single mother surviving as a dressmaker.

He introduced himself to my grandmother and visited my mom every night. He stayed in my mom’s home town for a month

He was 19 years older than my mom at that time.

He introduced himself to my grandmother and visited my mom every night. He stayed in my mom’s home town for a month.

He asked my grandmother if he can marry my mom.My grandmother accepted and she asked my mom to marry him.

My mom said my dad asked my grandmother but my grandmother did not ask my mom to marry my dad.  My grandmother decided for her in her behalf.

They got married and then my father made a house in town for them to live . It was the house I grew up in with one brother and one sister.'

That was the story my mom gave me.

When I was growing up I heard stories like this over and over again which gave me the impression that love means there is a man like my dad waiting to save me. I believed it was real and I believed that a 'fairy tale' like my mom and dad’s story happened.

Talking about Fairy Tales, I associated their story with the story of Cinderella.

That made me really believe that fairy tales do happen in real life. 

I did not see that I associated the words 'father', 'mother', 'men' , women, 'fairy tale', 'love' and 'real' together in  a word matrix - in my mind.

This is why it is difficult for me to see relationships as what it is. Imagine defining the word 'relationship' within the word, 'fairy tale'. I was searching for the Prince to have a 'good relationship'. 

Let's play with phonetics for a moment,

It is like 'to be able to 'RELAT-e' to someone, I need to wait for my ideal man before I can board as the 'I' 'ON' a 'SHIP' to be complete.'

I am expanding the meaning of the word 'RELATIONSHIP' to mean 'RELAT-e' to 'I' as the ''O-ther' 'as 0-N-e' as 'S-elf 'as my other 'HIP'. 

This means I see the other person i am with in a relationship as a mirror of me and as an equal walking this life with me. 

His misgivings are the same misgivings i have within me, so I can use that as a reference point of what i need to work on. 

The plus points that I see in him are what I should give to myself.

I then stop defining myself within lack constantly trying to complete myself by having a man  in a relationship. 

I learn to see him as my mirror and being that, I do not run away from him the moment we have a problem. 

As you can see, words can be used to expand ones understanding oneself and in the process, expand ourselves to our utmost potential.

Please Visit My Website

For Vocabulary Solutions

Click Here

http://juneroca.com

Masculinity and Femininity: My Mom and Dad

Me as a Child

My Dad was born with the male sex organ. He got married with my mom who was born with a female sex organ. I was born from the union of their egg and sperm cells. That's how 'scientific' it gets. 

Having a female sex organ like my mom, wearing female clothes like a dress  with 'flowy' designs, I bonded with her when I was growing up and copied more of the feminine roles she took on consciously, subconsciously or unconsciously.

In this blog, I will bring the memories back here of when my dad was with me - in my childhood so I can see how I changed my expression when I was with him to when I was with my mom. 

My experience with my dad is straight forward. He provided financial support for the family by going abroad - to work as an Engineer. He was not with us all the time when I was growing up. He came and stayed sometimes but most of the time he worked abroad.

He was 19 years older than my mom when they got married according to stories I heard from her. She said my dad did not ask her her to get married but he asked my grandmother permission instead. Then, when my grandmother conceded, she was assumed to 'yes' as well.

Their courtship was filled with stories about how my dad treated my mom and other relatives to the island where he lived and worked. 

My mom's story will be in my next blog. 

Pork Roast: Gravy or No Gravy: Day 228: Fears: Survival

Journey To Life  Blogs  

 The Creation of Heaven On Earth

A World That Truly Honors Life

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About Writing/Blogging

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Store

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SELF-FORGIVENESS

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My Food and Nutrition Blog Site:

http://foodandnutritionjunejourneytolife.blogspot.com/

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The Mathematics of Life  
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X-mas Pork Roast: Texture

http://foodandnutritionjunejourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/12/x-mas-mathematics-pig-pot-roast-gravy.html
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Note: Link To My Partner's Blog Will Follow

Christmas and family gathering around the dinner table brought forth a lot of hidden fears
from a simple decision to either make a gravy out of the pan drippings or just leave the pan drippings as it is.

My partner's decision: Leave the pan drippings as it is - do not make a gravy
My decision: Make a gravy out of the pan drippings of the baked pork roast

I looked at who i am within this decision and found out the fears behind this decision.
My partner did another blog as he also looked .

I will use self-forgiveness in this blog, self-commitment in blogs to come and live the correction in my breath by breath movement to birth me here as life

Me as The mind 
Fears that was hidden was uncovered:

Fear of the texture of the gravy not being 'right' as per the culinary standards/rules
↓
Fear of  being a bad chef
↓
Fear of not being popular
↓
Fear of not being liked by my partner's family when i bring a pork roast with a thin, runny gravy
↓
Fear of being alone
↓
Fear of being bored by being just by myself
↓
Fear of going crazy
↓
Fear of being in a mental institution
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Fear of not being in control
↓
Fear of being bad
↓
Fear of hurting/killing others
↓
Fear of being in prison
↓

Fear of not having the freedom to live life and not do what I like
↓
Fear of being sad
↓
Fear of wasting my time on Earth
                                                                                                                 Mind Loop
↓
Fear of REGRETTING the way i lived my life
↓
Fear that I did not use the time that I had to live life fully
↓
Fear of blaming myself that I did not live life fully
↓
Fear of feeling guilty
↓
Fear of doing something to make up for it
↓
Fear of starting from the beginning again/reincarnating
↓
Fear of being in a loop and not getting the whole point of what life is about
↓
Fear of not knowing who, what, where, when, how I am
↓
Fear of not doing what is needed of me to be who I am as life
                                                                                                                     Mind Loop
↓
Fear of REGRETTING living my life the way i did
↓

Fear of not being someone who is happy all the time
↓

Fear of going through a longer process
↓
Fear of not enjoying the fruits of life fully while lived

↓

Fear of eternal pain/suffering

***
My Self-forgiveness

Fear of the texture of the gravy not being 'right' as per the culinary standards/rules
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself  to participate in the design of/as 'fear of surviving - as information and knowledge' fear not being 'right' as per the culinary standards/rules in serving a baked pork roast with thick smooth gravy - which is what i have seen in television cooking shows where beef pot roast and pork roasts are
being served with gravy - through this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe
in what i see and hear as information and knowledge separate from me - not realizing that the pig
is giving up its life for the body/physical of humans to survive

Fear of being labeled as being a bad chef
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself  to participate in the design of/as 'fear of surviving - as knowledge and information ' fear being labeled as 'not a good chef' defined as serving a pork roast with pan drippings rather than serve it with gravy like those with culinary experience serve it - believing that serving the baked pork roast with gravy is more professional not realizing that this is coming from what i heard and seen that i accepted as my truth - and words i  use which was given a mind definition - such as the word 'professional'

Fear of not being popular
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the design of/as 'fear of surviving - as an individual' fear not being popular and special - wanting to be superior to everyone - as i fear being inferior to everyone - perceiving myself separate from all not realizing that who i am is the physical/body/substance equal to all that is here

Fear of not being liked by my partner's family when i bring a pork roast with a thin, runny gravy 
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the design of/as 'fear of surviving - as a family ' fear that i will not bet liked by my partner's family -believing that i can satisfy their mind's likes and dislikes - not realizing that this is me as the mind defined by others liking or not liking me and the food i prepare

Fear of being alone
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself  to participate in the design of/as 'fear of surviving - as an individual - as help' fear being alone without a family to help and support me when i cannot assist and support myself fearing not being helped - fearing not being able to survive alone - fear of being a bum - fear of being poor - not  having anything to eat and then die without anyone knowing who i am as a character/personality that lived on earth - fearing the future - not realizing that within this is current unequal economic system - as people do not have the basic necessities to survive, so fear of not surviving is a product of an unequal economic system

Fear of being bored by being just by myself

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the design of/as 'fear of surviving - as an individual - as sound' fear being bored by myself, needing to be part of a family/ group of individuals that will ensure my survival as a personality/character hearing different sounds from different people's voices which tells me i am alive - as one of those sounds can give me a positive energy experience - not realizing that who i am is not defined by sound based on frequency

Fear of going crazy 
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the design of/as 'fear of surviving - as sound, as movement' fear going crazy believing that if i will be left alone without having someone talking to me, nor anyone making any movements around me i will go crazy being silent  - not realizing i am not defined by other's talking - as sound as frequency and other's physical movements driven by their mind

Fear of being in a mental institution
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the design of/as 'fear of surviving -as information and knowledge' fear being in a mental institution without any idea of 'who i am' within/as my mind defined by memories - as the personality/character - not realizing that i am here as breath in every moment - able to express oneself and able to stop the mind as memories to exist in/as self-remembrance

Fear of not being in control
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the design of/as 'fear of not surviving - as control - as information and knowledge ' fear not being in control,  without information and knowledge - fearing not knowing who my father is and who my mother is, fearing not knowing 'who i am' as a personality/character defined by memories of the past - as experiences - not able to control what i think about anything and anyone and not able to control my actions , fearing i will do something to hurt someone - not realizing that i am here as breath moving me moment by moment as my in-breath and my out-breath and the 'holding the moment' in between

Fear of being bad
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the design of/as 'fear of not surviving -as morality - as relationships'
fear being bad desiring to be good so that i will be liked by my family and friends believing that when i do something wrong my family and friends will reject me as i defined myself within morality - not realizing that who i am  is here as breath able to stand for what is best for all life

Continued in the next blog

2012: : 'I Have To Give Daddy His Slippers To Please Him' - Character: Part 4 Day 82

My Story

Related Blogs:

Part 1 Redefining Character

Part 2 Redefining Character: Word Connections

Part 3 - 'What Does It Mean To Step Out of Character'?

'POSITIVE (+)' Character:

'I have to give daddy slippers to please him' - Character

In one of my blogs, i wrote about how i separated myself from the word character by giving it either a positive or a negative value.

In essence, it is me separating myself from who i am as ALL LIFE - equal to all that exist ( looking at the commonsense - we all come from the same substance - all are made of)

By giving the word a positive or negative value - i am separating from what is here - as the real physical matter which i consist of/as.

I fear losing me as the 'accumulation of my positive experiences' - as the character. This makes me look for something that is 'more than me'  - to ensure my survival within the positive energy experience.

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 In this blog, we will look at my childhood and how i defined myself within a positive energy experience of this word - as  'I have to give  daddy his slippers so that i can please him' - character.

I believed that this will give me a value that is 'more than me', which is a value that is 'more than me - as here' - as the breath - as all life - not realizing that an illusion has no value. The real value is to realize who i am here as equal to all that exist - as Life.

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How I Gave The Word 'Character' a Positive Value

'(+1) POSITIVE Character : Positive Experience'
'I have to give  daddy his slippers so that i can please him'


 Character #1

I have charged this word 'character' a positive value - separating myself from the word. This can be seen in my mom's story:

She said, when i was young i used to find my father's slippers for him and gave it to him when he arrived home. He's pleased that i do that for him.


I cherished the experience of him saying 'you are my palangga' (you are my favorite daughter). I want to keep hearing him say that. That assures my survival (as the 'well - loved character' in the family - just like a beloved actress in a movie).

The memory of that 'comforted me throughout my life.

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Self-forgiveness Statements:

Separation:

(Separating myself from all parts of me as life)

Me Separating Myself from The Word 'Character':

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the word character - within my mind - by charging the word character with a positive value - within a positive energy experience as the 'I have to give Daddy his slippers to please him' - character

(Slippers - Low footwear that can be slipped on and off easily; usually worn indoors)

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within the 'i like to give daddy his slippers to please him' character - so he will give me love - so i will be his favorite child - to feel good - as i seek the 'moreness' of me.


When and as i see myself defining myself within the 'i like to give daddy slippers to please him' - character - i stop - i breathe and correct my starting point from a starting point of what is best for me to a starting point of what is best for all - realizing the commonsense that what is best for all is essentially what is best for me. I commit to through blogging and vlogging assist myself to stop the positive and negative energetics existent in the 'i like to give daddy slippers to please him' - character - and through correcting and applying myself here in every breath - i stop.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear losing the ' i will give daddy his slippers to please him' - character


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within a memory of the 'i will give daddy slippers to please him' - character -  not realizing it is just an illusion - believing that when i lose the  memory of the 'i will give daddy slippers to please him' - character,  i will lose the 'moreness of me' as the accumulated positive energy experiences of the character - believing that - i will become doubtful and uncertain of who i am - spiting the people who remind me the 'lessness of me' - as the negative, in essence spiting the physical - existing in blame with the excuse that i have to survive - looking for the 'moreness' of me by pleasing my dad - to feel good - and justifying my existence by accepting and allowing me as the character to continue existing - as the 'i will give daddy slippers to please him' - character - believing that this will make me whole - not realizing that this is not real - an illusion of the evolution of separation.


I realize that the memory of this character is an illusion - as the character's awareness of itself is a separation awareness -  not real awareness - where the creation of separation comes from the 'there must be more than me, there must be more than me - as here' character. I realize that i am here as breath in every moment.
When and as i see myself defining myself within the memory of the 'i will give daddy slippers to please him' - character - i stop and breathe and change my starting point. I commit myself to apply myself in the physical using all the tools available in every breath - correcting me in every breath - where the reality of me in the physical - as who i am - as all life can be cross-referenced by all.

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Quote:

This ‘character-creation’ of ourselves originated from and of the moment we as substance separated ourselves into and as an innumerable amounts of manifested-singularities, where substance took on the character of “There Must be MORE than ME, there must be MORE than ME as HERE”. And so within the creation/manifestation of that character from and of itself – Substance accordingly manifested/created the embodiments/manifestations of that character from, within and as itself that manifested as the MORE of itself as all the manifested/accumulated manifested-singularities into and as which it separated itself creating/manifesting the Illusion of MORE. And so separated itself from HERE into and as the accumulation of and as Energies from the negative, to the neutral and to the positive the MORE it separated itself from itself as HERE.

Thus, this Illusion of MORENESS manifested the MORE it separated itself from Itself and HERE. And so, substance as ourselves created/manifested our/its first Character embodiments/manifestations “There Must be MORE than ME, there must be MORE than HERE” that had become the existent/manifested creations of and as the manifested-singularities and energy. Characters which we still exist-as to this day: manifested living-embodiments resonating within and as that starting-point of and as searching/seeking the MORE of ourselves, the MORE of Here. And so from and of us accepting and allowing ourselves to exist/live as this character of searching/seeking the MORE of ourselves, the MORE of Here; we have accordingly created/manifested ourselves and our existence as a whole in and as this image and likeness. To now for example with the existence/manifestation of the World-System of Money in itself, searching/seeking for the MORE of itself as Money, as the very physical-existence that it can permeate and penetrate to accumulate/manifest the MORE of itself as Money in consuming physicality to transform into Money, and duplicating/multiplying itself within businesses, industries, corporations to manifest/create the MORE of itself as the World-System itself.

And so, we’ve from the beginning been stuck in this ONE POINT Character-manifestation of seeking/searching for the MORE of ourselves the MORE of Here, which is all that we’ve done and become infinitely at this stage. Not seeing/realising/understanding that: as long as we exist as this Character of searching/seeking for the MORE of ourselves, the MORE of Here – this is all we’ll ever do, be and remain as. And therefore, the process thus is to ‘step out of character’ – stop the characteristic existence of ourselves as seeking/searching for the MORE of ourselves, the MORE of Here, and realise ourselves as Here in equality and oneness, that once we actuallySTOP searching and seeking, and start REALISING HERE, in equality and oneness – lol; we may just find what/who it is that we’ve been searching for/looking for throughout existence…

Heavens Journey:
http://heavensjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/07/first-creation-of-character-day-79.html


References:

The Creations Journey
http://creationsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/07/day-80-creating-character.html

Earth's Journey
http://earthsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/07/day-44-character-game.html

2012 Redefining the Word 'Grandmother' Part 3 Day 41

Part 1

Part 2

Webster defines the word grandmother as :
Mother of one's father or mother

(Goodness R-ant And M-e with the O- ther-T-here not Her-e)

This definition is limited.
When one perceives oneself separate from all that exist - where one judge another as more than or less than who one really is - this is not best for all.

I am redefining it and giving it meaning equal to who i am as all life - a definition i can live

Redefining the word Grandmother:

Mother of ones mother or father

who perceives all as equal to Life by virtue of the fact that we are all born in this world
and that we are made of the same substance- dust, water, clay.

Perceives the sons and daughters, family etc. as oneself

Births oneself as life.

2012: My Grandmother Part 2 Day 40

References:

 Part 1

Part 2

In Part 1 i did self-forgiveness for how i experienced my grandmother. In this blog i will do self-forgiveness for connecting her name to other names and defining it within other words which make me see her more than or less than what/who she is - not realizing she is equal to all that exist - as all are made of the same substance that all are made of. These are the names of her children and grandchildren. I put only their initials. I am releasing that limited definition i gave the word grandmother - realizing that the word grandmother - is equal to all that exist - as life. Making the word grandmother more than what it is within judgment and projecting that to who she really is - is abusing her through my words. Words are symbols.  We live them as who we are as life - as the living words.
 
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word grandmother to the word VD
I forgive myself that i  have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word grandmother to the word OD
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word grandmother to the word AR

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word grandmother to the word JD
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word grandmother to the word AD
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word grandmother to the word DD
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word grandmother to the word  BD
i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word grandmother to the word RD
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word grandmother to the word JR
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word grandmother to the word NR
i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word grandmother to the word SR
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word grandmother to the word TP
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word grandmother to the word KP
i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word grandmother to the word EDP
i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word grandmother to the word EJP
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word grandmother to the word DR
I forgive myself that i  have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word grandmother to the word BR
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word grandmother to the word EP
i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word grandmother to the word WR
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word grandmother to the word DRAD
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word grandmother to the word GD
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word grandmother to the word ANND
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word grandmother to the word DEZD
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word grandmother to the word LD
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word grandmother to the word RD
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word grandmother to the word GD
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word grandmother to the word MOLAD
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word grandmother to the word  ABID
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word grandmother to the word ROD

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I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word grandmother within  the word WR
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word grandmother within the word EP
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word grandmother within the word BR
I forgive myself that  i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word grandmother within the word DR
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word grandmother within the word EJP
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word grandmother within the word EDP
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word grandmother within the word KP
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word grandmother within the word TP
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word grandmother within the word SR
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word  grandmother within the word NR
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word grandmother within the word JR
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word grandmother within the word RD
i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word grandmother within the word BD
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word grandmother within the word DD
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word grandmother within the word ASD
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word grandmother within the word JD
i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word grandmother within the word AD
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word grandmother within the word OD
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word grandmother within the word VD
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word grandmother within the word DRAD
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word grandmother within the word GID
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word grandmother within the word GLD
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word grandmother within the word
ROD
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word grandmother within the word DAD
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word grandmother within the word DED
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word grandmother within the word LID
i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word grandmother within the word AND
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to  define the word grandmother within the word ROD
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word grandmother within the word ABD

2012: My Grandmother Part 1 Day 39

My Grandmother
Part 2
Part 3

In this blog, i will do self-forgiveness for  perceiving my grandmother separate from me - and judging her as more than or less than me - as i identify as the ego-personality - defined within an experience based on beliefs, judgments etc. I will also do self-forgiveness for other points of separation - i see as i blog. 

This is how i assist myself to stop the mind - and birth me here as all life.This is how i release me from a limited definition of the word grandmother. Judging her as the 'best' grandmother is defining her within how i see her - as separate from who i am - instead of realizing she is equal to all that exist - as me as all life.

Self-forgiveness Statements:

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge my grandmother as more than me and me less than her- believing that because she gave birth to my mom and my mom gave birth to me -  i will not be alive if not because of her and my mom - as i identify as the ego-personality - separate from all life -defined within knowledge and information about life and death


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge my grandmother as more than me and me less than her - comparing her to me and others - believing that because she took care of me when i was young, when i cannot take care of myself  - she is good because without her i could not have been alive - as i identify as the ego-personality -perceived  separate from her and all parts of me as life - defined within knowledge and information about who i am - so fearing death/not existing without her.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge my grandmother as more than me and me less than her  - believing that because she took care of me when my mother was not around - she is good-  because i fear not existing/dying - as i defined myself within knowledge and information - as the ego-personality - believing that i will die if no one will take care of me - not realizing that i am here as breath in every moment with or without a human form

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge my grandmother as more than me and me less than her - believing that she is good and i am not as good/bad- defining myself within comparison, judgment and jealousy - with her as the smell of her hair - as her hair smells like lime - when she finishes taking a bath - because she uses lime juice to rinse her hair off - and within this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge the smell of lime as more than other citrus smell - as i connected it to the smell of my grandmother's hair - within this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to design competition within comparison, judgment and jealousy - with the lime - as i identify as the ego-personality - not realizing that i am equal to all that exist - as we are all made from the same substance all are made of.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself  to judge my grandmother as more than me and me less than her when she punishes me for not doing what i am supposed to do - when she ask me to do something - believing that she has the right to punish me because i did something wrong - then judge her as less than me - within backchat - believing she is cruel for punishing me.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear my grandmother punishing me by making me kneel in coarse salt with my hand stretched to the side  - when i do not do what i am asked to do - blaming her and spiting her for experiencing the pain.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to pity my grandmother because she is living alone and is being given the task of taking care of most of her grandchildren - including me, my sister and my brother.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself  to have the idea that my grandmother is a super hero because she was able to raise many grandchildren in her lifetime - defining myself within specialness - which is in essence arose out of comparing her with other women/mother, then judging her.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be guilty about taking a dime out of her sewing machine drawer - hiding it at first and then telling her later - that i used it to buy sweets that will make me feel good  - and accepting and allowing that dishonesty because i am her grandchild - believing that grandmothers love their grandchildren - justifying it by saying 'she's okay with it' - where i am defining love within self-dishonesty - with people who i have strong family/relationship ties.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize and understand that when i allow that small act of dishonesty in my life because of relationship tie - i support a personality systems based on that same point.

I commit myself to - through writing self-forgiveness, self-commitment and self-corrective application - assist myself to birth me here as life - through the process of self-perfection - until life will be born in the physical to be here forevermore.

I commit myself to expose my beliefs, judgments, ideas, justifications, fears etc. so that i can see them and direct them - within writing self-forgiveness and self-corrective application in every moment of breath - until life is born in the physical.

2012: Redefining The Word 'Son' Part 1 Day 28

The Word 'Son'

According to Wikipedia, a son is a male offspring; a boy or man in relation to his parents.

Redefining the word 'Son''

From

S-ervant as O-ffspring coming from d-N-a

A male offspring, a boy or a man born from his parents 

who was downloaded information from ones parents through the DNA who perceiving oneself as separate from all 

To

a male offspring, coming from ones parents -who sees the parent as oneself and births oneself here as who one really is - and stands for what is best for all.

Self-forgiveness Statements:

SF for perceived Separation:

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the word son

through giving it a positive value

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to separate from the word son through giving it a negative value

SF for Charging the Word Son with A Positive and a Negative Value

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to charge the word son with a positive value

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to charge the word son with a negative value

Positive Connections/Definitions

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word son to the word love
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word son within the word love

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word son to the word birthday
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word son within the word birthday

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word son to the word SVS
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word son within the word SVS

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word son to the word AsJBS
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word son within the word AsJBS

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word son to the word JBR
I forgive myself that ihave accepted and allowed myself to define the word son within the word JBR

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word son to the word AlJBS
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word son within the word AlJBS

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word son to the word intelligent
i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word son within the word intelligent

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word son to the word handsome
i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word son within the word handsome

Negative connections/Definitions
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word son to the word leave
i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word son within the word leave

I forgiver myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word son to the word s'collapsed lungs'
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word son within the words 'collapsed lungs'

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word son to the word hospital
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word son within the word hospital

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word son to the word death
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word son within the word death

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word son to the word rage
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word son within the word rage

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word son to the word pity
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word son within the word pity

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word son to the word anger
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word son within the word anger

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word son to the word adopted
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word son within the word adopted

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word son to the word guilt
i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word son within the word guilt

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word son to the word away
I forgive myself that ih ave accepted and allowed myself to define the word son within the word away

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word son to the word slippers
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word son within the word slippers

===

Self-forgiveness for Resonating and Experiencing The Word 'Son'

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to 
resonate and experience the word 'son'
over and over again
into the very physical body
rippling through into the water
and actually program the very physical
from the depths of the physical itself

 Self- Correction Script

I commit myself to through writing, self-forgiveness
and self-correction in my living application
recreate myself by rewriting the book within myself
releasing the positive and the negative energy charge
i had given the word 'son'

I commit myself to instead of connecting/defining
the word 'son'
to/within other words
assigning positive and negative values 
that are my mind interpretation of reality
redefine it as equal to my 
spoken and written expression
as who i am, what i am and how i am

I commit myself to when and as i see myself 

fearing losing 
using the word 'son' so i can feel bad/guilty
about not being with DSRSJ growing up
having the feeling that i lost something
and then wanting to win
using the word 'son'
to satisfy my desire to do something extraordinary
to make me feel good about myself 


fearing that i do not have someone to pass on my genes to
fear that i cannot propagate the race
using the word son to 
satisfy my desire to make my son 
a testimony to my generating capability
as a woman giving birth to a man who will continue the family tree
boasting about DSRSJ to others
believing he is intelligent and handsome 
because he has my genes
to have a sense of winning

using the word son to 
satisfy my desire that  DR is going to be intelligent 
and handsome because he has my genes
and that i will see him when he is ready
to feel good about myself 
to win

I stop
I breathe through the desire

I realize this is me as the mind
running away from my fears

fear of death - as the mother personality
fear of being impotent as a female married to a male
fear of not having a family
fear of not having a son
fear of being inferior

so desiring to be superior 
using the word 'son'
to give me life as the female/mother personality
the evil me separating myself from words 
through giving it a positive and a negative value
charging word 'son' with positive and negative values
connecting word 'son' to positive and negative values
defining the word 'son' within positive and negative values
instead of seeing and realizing i am equal to words i speak and write
as who i am as symbols
as words, as sentences, as sound

redefining the word 'son'
and using the word as equal to my expression
as who i am here

I assist myself to stabilize me as breath
before i speak
making sure i am clear within myself before
i speak and write the word

I assist myself to accept and allow me
to regain dimensional vision and see what is really here

===

Quote:
'to resonate and experience that word or such a memory
over and over and over again and because it resonates
over and over again into the very physical body
it ripple through into the water
and actually program the very physical from the depths of
the physical itself'
Parenting Perfecting The Human Race Part 6
https://eqafe.com/i/jroca-parenting-perfecting-the-human-race-part-6