2012: My Grandmother Part 1 Day 39

My Grandmother
Part 2
Part 3

In this blog, i will do self-forgiveness for  perceiving my grandmother separate from me - and judging her as more than or less than me - as i identify as the ego-personality - defined within an experience based on beliefs, judgments etc. I will also do self-forgiveness for other points of separation - i see as i blog. 

This is how i assist myself to stop the mind - and birth me here as all life.This is how i release me from a limited definition of the word grandmother. Judging her as the 'best' grandmother is defining her within how i see her - as separate from who i am - instead of realizing she is equal to all that exist - as me as all life.

Self-forgiveness Statements:

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge my grandmother as more than me and me less than her- believing that because she gave birth to my mom and my mom gave birth to me -  i will not be alive if not because of her and my mom - as i identify as the ego-personality - separate from all life -defined within knowledge and information about life and death


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge my grandmother as more than me and me less than her - comparing her to me and others - believing that because she took care of me when i was young, when i cannot take care of myself  - she is good because without her i could not have been alive - as i identify as the ego-personality -perceived  separate from her and all parts of me as life - defined within knowledge and information about who i am - so fearing death/not existing without her.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge my grandmother as more than me and me less than her  - believing that because she took care of me when my mother was not around - she is good-  because i fear not existing/dying - as i defined myself within knowledge and information - as the ego-personality - believing that i will die if no one will take care of me - not realizing that i am here as breath in every moment with or without a human form

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge my grandmother as more than me and me less than her - believing that she is good and i am not as good/bad- defining myself within comparison, judgment and jealousy - with her as the smell of her hair - as her hair smells like lime - when she finishes taking a bath - because she uses lime juice to rinse her hair off - and within this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge the smell of lime as more than other citrus smell - as i connected it to the smell of my grandmother's hair - within this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to design competition within comparison, judgment and jealousy - with the lime - as i identify as the ego-personality - not realizing that i am equal to all that exist - as we are all made from the same substance all are made of.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself  to judge my grandmother as more than me and me less than her when she punishes me for not doing what i am supposed to do - when she ask me to do something - believing that she has the right to punish me because i did something wrong - then judge her as less than me - within backchat - believing she is cruel for punishing me.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear my grandmother punishing me by making me kneel in coarse salt with my hand stretched to the side  - when i do not do what i am asked to do - blaming her and spiting her for experiencing the pain.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to pity my grandmother because she is living alone and is being given the task of taking care of most of her grandchildren - including me, my sister and my brother.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself  to have the idea that my grandmother is a super hero because she was able to raise many grandchildren in her lifetime - defining myself within specialness - which is in essence arose out of comparing her with other women/mother, then judging her.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be guilty about taking a dime out of her sewing machine drawer - hiding it at first and then telling her later - that i used it to buy sweets that will make me feel good  - and accepting and allowing that dishonesty because i am her grandchild - believing that grandmothers love their grandchildren - justifying it by saying 'she's okay with it' - where i am defining love within self-dishonesty - with people who i have strong family/relationship ties.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize and understand that when i allow that small act of dishonesty in my life because of relationship tie - i support a personality systems based on that same point.

I commit myself to - through writing self-forgiveness, self-commitment and self-corrective application - assist myself to birth me here as life - through the process of self-perfection - until life will be born in the physical to be here forevermore.

I commit myself to expose my beliefs, judgments, ideas, justifications, fears etc. so that i can see them and direct them - within writing self-forgiveness and self-corrective application in every moment of breath - until life is born in the physical.