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Friday, March 22, 2019

Gender Self- Forgiveness & The Bridge To A Healthy Life on Earth


Self-forgiveness for Mind Support


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define words i speak and write as how i see the world of males and females - as having separate genders,  so it is best to give the word gender a meaning that is not charged based on my survival issues 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that i am a copy of a copy - of my ancestors -

I realize that I can re-create my life and direct it to the path where all will benefit

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that i am here as the breath in every moment capable of expressing myself here alone, with a partner or as a member of a group

I realize that I am the breath here in every moment capable of expressing myself in every moment as the body

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that gender is about me as a female directing my body design (with a vagina) to stand and express to my optimum potential 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that gender is about females and males living as separate individuals presenting themselves by wearing clothing different from each other defined by the limited meaning of the word 'gender' based on social conditioning, that in the end boils down to what it will give me - in terms of my survival as a female able to bear children 

Rather, realize that it is possible to learn how to survive as an individual and how all of us will have guaranteed survival as team life

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to like my gender, as a female, based on social conditioning, where the male is responsible for my survival - based on how i conditioned myself to survive in society, thereby limiting my expression.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to like the 
males because they can provide for me to survive which spares me the suffering of having to earn money for my own survival - based on a belief when i have not really tried to establish a business that will provide for my survival and financially support my BHOE projects

I forgive myself to look down on males for giving in to my whims
- which is me defining myself as a winner in the gender game and see the male as losers

Rather than see that we are beings in a body with different organ designs - and live as equals

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself to other females, other males, & other genders
then judging them and then getting jealous to them - as i see gender as a way to win or lose based on what the media tells me, what others say and how others behave which i interpret in my mind according to how i see myself winning - within competition

Rather than see that I am here as a female with a value equal to the male - as we are all parts of the whole, that is life

I commit myself to change the way i see words & their definitions - from words separate from me to what words are - as sound, in relation to who i am here - as both of us being parts of the whole, that is life. 

I commit myself to change the way i see males and females, from having different values based on social conditioning - to both having equal values in a world where social conditions are beneficial for both - as all life

I commit myself to continue the activity of Bridging A Haven On Earth for all - no matter what, where I will not see the males as someone to support my survival but as equals where both have guaranteed survival.



GENDER: Are We Defned By Our Sexual Organs?




Are we defined by our sexual organs?


In my mind, I defined myself as a female with a sexual organ called the 'vagina'. I really did not understand what the real meaning of a female is, so i copied my mom. I saw my mom is also female because she has a vagina. I knew that was so because she gave birth to me through that organ, and that she also wears panty. So, I copied what she did. I copied the way she presents herself, her actions, words, wear panties etc. then i gave it my own twists here and there and that is how i defined myself as a unique individual female separate from the male.

I saw a male as someone who i defined as having a 'penis', wearing briefs. I know my father was a man wear briefs and everyone around me says he is a male - so i believed what they say and do as true. I saw him as a male.  

A female is usually defined by what makes her different from a male in society. I hear people talking about females bearing children and males financially supporting them. This is how i conditioned myself to believe that this is my role as a female - so i did fulfill the role of a female in society - without questioning why.

I was conditioned to believe that I am separate from a male because I have a sexual organ that is different from a male - called by the name 'vagina' for females and 'penis' for males. 

I believed that I have a purpose to fulfill as a female. This social definition laid the foundation for how I lived my life. 

I felt i was manipulating myself to fit into a box that i am not comfortable in because i really do not know who i am in relation to my gender - yet i accepted the role for fear that i will be an outcast.

I conditioned myself to believe that this is my purpose as a female. I looked at how others around me and others before me lived and I copied them.

I saw that my mom (and other females) wore a dress, so i wore a dress
I saw that my mom wore lipstick, so i wore lipstick
I saw that my mom brings a bag with her when she goes out so I did the same.

I reasoned that life must be about a happy marriage between the two - the male and female. The male can appreciate my dress etc. & i can appreciate or thank them (males) for financially supporting me, Then we can help each other out and have a family. I also defined love in these terms,

I saw bearing children as a show of love. 

I defined successes as me the female being able to be married with a man who will support me financially believing that that was what my ancestors did, so that was okay. I believed our successes combined in terms of the females bearing children & the males providing finance for all of us females in the clan - is what life is about.

This was how i saw the world based on how my parents & grandparents saw the world to be. 

Is this all there is to life? 
Am i here to live the lives of my ancestors?

I felt uneasy living this limited definition of myself.As i was living this way, there's this hole in my heart that keeps growing daily. I felt that if this is not the truth, i owe it to myself , my children and my children's children to find out the truth and expos the lie so that we can change ourselves and change the world.

There is no commonsense in living the life of my ancestors because that will be going in the past and that will be robotic. It is not changing the very fabric of the gene pool. What is commonsensical for me is to look at my life, identify the problems & correct them.

I wanted to redefine the word 'gender' for myself so i can have a definition i can relate to and correct the way i live as a female - as equal to a male. Then i can re-purpose & build a life that is not only meant for me & my family to survive (as what my ancestors did ) but a life that will be beneficial for all - as BHOE living.

It was when i started investigating words - redefining words, that I realized the importance of the meaning I give words. 

A female being defined according to her sex organ & according to whether or not she is able to  bear a child sets a limit in the way we see & express ourselves as females or as males. 

I used this in the past as a way to manipulate the relationship i was in. In our culture, the man's role is to support the female by marrying her & bearing children - so I used this to my advantage.  

It started with me, as the female being attracted to the male - based on what i do not have  that i like to have. I picked a partner who has white skin (i have brown skin), intelligent in subjects I judged myself as not (trigonometry & algebra) and having a family that i believed has more financial capability than mine. I saw myself as inferior to him in terms of my skin, intelligence & financial capability . So, i reasoned that if i marry this guy, people will see us as complimentary individuals that have come together in marriage and will be able for me to raise my personal value based on who I married  

What i did was to take him in my life  - as my boyfriend, to give myself that which i did not have and then married him so that I will have him - and his aptitude in math (and presented it as if it was mine because he married me) forever.

That does not make sense though. What makes sense is for me to give myself what i needed - by  looking at math and what it is about. I cannot be a thief taking his math aptitude away from him (in my mind). I cannot be a mind thief. That is not wha love is about. That is fuzzy logic. That does not compute. But that was what happened. I thought that that was what love was about. 

Now i see Math as 1+1 = 2, meaning we need to develop a way where we can provide for not only our own survival but all of us here on earth. 

Love is Life. It is not about one person (me) having a partner that I believe has characteristics that will add to mine that will add to my personal value.

Love is about standing for bridging or creating a world where all can live in dignity, in a world where poverty does not exist and all bodies - both male and female (as biological structures) are being used to express to ones utmost potential.

Gender becomes a social problem when we use the physical body to act out our fears in terms of the limits we associated the body with - as the social restriction & social conditioning that limits our expression. 

I believed i have to be inferior to men to survive in the society. I believed I cannot be myself living equal to a man and i had reasons as excuses and justifications but that is not really who i am. That is based on my beliefs & social conditioning.
I can see what needs to be corrected here and how i should change within how i live so that there can be personal change in these aspects.

I am expressing myself when  I act, speak & dance. I find I can express myself - as the male body or the female body with unlimited expressions of each or both, when I move .

So, rather than live a purpose that is based on biological differences and cultural conditioning, defined by others based on fear of survival, I realize i can live a purpose that i designed based on what will benefit all - as beings, transcending gender boundaries imposed through social conditioning & bridge a healthy haven on earth starting with changing my beliefs about survival. I can establish my own business and earn money not only to support myself to survive but launch BHOE projects as well. The challenges are many but i am here as the breath, so i am opening doors - unleashing my optimum potential as i walk this journey. 

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Tuesday, March 12, 2019

Day 21 Gender 21 Day Cancer Journey To Life




The WORD

GENDER

GEN-e DIR-ection

(direct the gene)

G Gene
E Expression
N Nature
D Direction
E Egg
R Responsibility


Expanding The Meaning

Either of the sexes considered  with reference to how ones genes are being directed - as one stands for and do that which is best for all life.

BHOE

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