Tao of Food Preparation Recipes

Tao of Food Preparation Recipes
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Thursday, May 31, 2012

2012: Female Personality: At Home: The Split It's All About LOVE! Part 6 Day 48



The Split: Father: 'Favorite' - Mother: 'Careless'




In my past blogs, i was impulsed by the words 'favorite' and 'best' . While i was writing my blog, another word that popped up is the word 'careless'.

In my last blog i uncovered how - through defining the guru as the best - i am defining myself as - the worst. There was  also fear that i will not be the best - as the favorite daughter throughout my life - so Fear of Losing that definition i gave to myself.

 Hearing my mom criticize me when i am not organized, at home - and calling me 'careless' when i was a child - gave me a 'negative' experience of the word - which is the polarity opposite of the 'positive' experience i had when my dad call me his 'favorite daughter'. This puts me in a position where i have to decide  who i have become - the favorite daughter or the 'careless' daughter? This gave me the belief that i split me into 2 worlds. Doubt and uncertainty came up. This gave rise to anxiety- that vibration, that anxiety accumulated into FEAR.


In this blog, i will direct this fear by doing self-forgiveness and self-commitment to correct myself for what is best for all . 
Self-forgiveness:

The split
Favorite and not favorite
The Words 'Favorite' and 'Careless''
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that i split myself into 2 through a decision based on definitions i gave the words 'palangga' or 'hindi palangga' meaning 'favorite' and 'not favorite' - believing that the word 'palangga' or 'favorite' is good and 'hindi palangga' or 'not favorite' is bad - where i judged myself as good when i hear the word  'palangga' from my dad and when i do not hear it - i hear the opposite - i feel bad - not realizing that i as who i really am - is here as breath in every moment - so rather than believe and judge - i simply live as who i am - equal to all that exist.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that i split myself into 2 through a decision based on definitions i gave the words 'hapak-hapak' and ''hindi hapak-hapak' which means careless' and 'not careless' - believing that the word 'hapak-hapak' or 'careless' is bad and the word 'hindi hapak-hapak' or 'not careless' is good - where i judged myself as bad when i hear the word 'hapak-hapak' and when i do not hear it - i feel good -defining myself within words i separated myself from - based on my beliefs, judgments etc. -  not realizing that i am here as breath in every moment - so rather than believe and judge - i simply live as who i am - equal to all that exist - as we are made from the same substance all are made of - which include words

The Word 'Normal' and 'Special'
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that i split myself into 2 through  the positive definition i gave the word 'special' and the negative definition i gave the word 'normal' - defining myself within words i separated myself from - based on my beliefs, judgments etc. -not realizing that i am here as the breath in every moment - i simply live as who i am - equal to all that exist - as we are made from the same substance all are made of - which include words- so redefining the words i separated myself from.

The Word 'Favorite' as 'Special' and 'Careless' as 'Not Special'
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that i split myself into 2 through the interpretations i had of what the words 'favorite' and 'careless' mean - where i connected the word 'favorite' to the word ' special' and the word 'careless' to the word 'not special' - defining myself within words i separated myself from - based on my beliefs, judgments etc. - not realizing that i am here as breath in every moment - i simply live as who i am - equal to all that exist - as we are made from the same substance all are made of - which include words - so redefining the words i separated myself from

 Good and Bad : 'Favorite' as good and 'Careless' as bad
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word 'hapak-hapak' to the the word bad
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word 'hapak-hapak' within the word bad
 I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word 'palangga' to the word good
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word 'palangga' within the word good

Split:
'Bad Me'
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that i am giving life to a bad me  - defining me within the polarity of good and bad - as the 'careless' personality - based on the words 'hapak-hapak' - as an interpretation - of an experience i had when i heard the word 'hapak-hapak' which means 'very careless' - from my mom - which i felt bad about - within this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to how i feel when i heard my mom say the words 'hapak-hapak' - not realizing that this is not real - as i created this in my mind- and that i am here as breath in every moment -i simply live as who i am - equal to all that exist - as we are made from the same substance all are made of.

'Good Me '
 I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that i am giving life to a good me - defining me within the polarity of good and bad - as the 'favorite child' personality based on the word 'palangga' - as i identify as the ego-personality defined by words i separated myself from - based on beliefs, judgments etc. -as an interpretation - of an experience i had when i heard the word 'palangga' - which means 'favorite daughter' - from my dad - which i felt good about - within this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to how i feel when i heard my dad say 'palangga' - not realizing this is not real - as i created this in my mind - and that i am here as breath in every moment - i simply live as who i am - equal to all that exist.

Repetition of a 'negative' word twice as 'Doubly bad'- 'hapak-hapak'
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to experience the word 'hapak - hapak' - as doubly/very bad because the word is repeated twice -connecting the word 'hapak' to bad and 'hapak-hapak' as very bad.

===
Polarity Definition as Good and Bad:
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that i split me into 2 by defining me within the polarity of the words 'good' and 'bad'
Polarity Definition as Right and Wrong:
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that i split me into 2 by defining me within the polarity of the words 'right' and 'wrong'
Polarity Definition as Positive or Negative
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself tobelieve that i split me into 2 by defining me  within the polarity of the words 'positive' and 'negative'
===
"Best' and 'Worst'
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the word 'best' is good and the word 'worst' is bad -
 ===
 Fear that i will be the worst
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear that i will be the worst person  - based on the definition i gave the word 'worst'' - and the experience i had of it - defining myself within a memory

Self-forgiveness for Connecting the word 'Best' to other Words - where i see the word as more than or less than me and me more than or less than the word - not seeing the word for what really is
Best and God
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word best to the word God
I forgive myself that  have accepted and allowed myself to define the word best within the word God
Best and Guru
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word best to the word  guru
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word best within the word guru
Best and Dad
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word best to the word dad
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word best within the word dad
Best and Grandmother
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word best to the word grandmother
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word best within the word grandmother
Best and Money
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word best to the word money
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word best within the word money
Best and Love
i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word best to the word love
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word best within  the word love
Best and Fans
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word best to the word fans
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word best within the word fans
Best and Survive
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word best to the word survive
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word best within the word survive

Connecting the Word 'Worst' To Other Words - where i see the word as more than or less than me and me more than or less than the word
Worst and Best
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word worst to the word best
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word worst within the word best
Worst and Shoes
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word  worst to the word shoes
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word worst within the word shoes
Worst and Clothes
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word worst to the word clothes
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word worst within the word clothes
Worst and Asian
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word worst' to the word Asian
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word worst' within the word Asian
Worst and Poverty
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word worst'to the word poverty
Worst and 'Not Survive'
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word worst to the words 'not survive'
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word worst within the words 'not survive'
Worst and 'No Money'
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word worst to the words 'no money'
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word worst within the words 'no money'
Worst and Death
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word worst to the word death
i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word worst within the word death
Worst and 'Non-Existence'
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word 'worst' to the words 'non-existence'
I forgive myself that i have accepted and myself to define the word worst within the words 'non - existence'

==
Self-forgiveness for Personality Systems participating In The Same Point That I am Participating In - putting it back to self -as them:

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to - 'as the beauty industry' come up with contests like the Miss Universe Contest - which is a competition designed for profit - where contestants are being compared to one another - for someone to win - just so the 'BEST' will get the prize of being popular and be 'special' while the rest of the women suffer in poverty and does not even have clean water to wash their bodies - not realizing that giving to charity and supporting charity organizations - as an ambassadress will not stop the root of the problem - which is greed for profit - in an unequal monetary system - not realizing that unless we establish a new monetary system based on equality we will just be supporting the elite who owns the planes and the charity infrastructures that we utilize to help the poor -  not realizing that we will be damned and suffer as this world slowly but surely  collapse on our face - not realizing that participating in competition consumes life/substance  in favor of money and profit - as the mind uses mind energy which takes energy from the physical/substance.

I commit myself to expose the personality systems that support competition - in sports competitions, food competitions, beauty competitions, the Oscars awards, the Emmy awards  etc.- which compare and  judge the contestants - for the best - for a prize - for the sake of profit and self-interest.

I commit to through writing self-forgiveness and self-commitment to correct myself to assist me when and as i see myself  believing that i am splitting myself into 2 - to stop and breathe - and when and as i see myself going into doubt. uncertainty and anxiety -  i also stop and breathe  - realizing that deciding from a point of fear is of the mind - therefore i am not here. The ego-personality is here - defined by words i separated myself from like 'best', 'worst' , 'favorite' and 'careless' - which i connected to other words - based from my beliefs, judgments etc. - which made me see the words more than or less than what they are.  on doing something to be the best as a way to run from my fear

I commit myself to expose personality systems which i support having the same points like consumerism, the beauty industry, the entertainment industry etc.

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

2012: 'It's All About Love' : Guru: Is 'The Best' Part 5 Day 47



Why do i judge the guru as more than me?
'The Guru Is The Best?'


The Guru Is The Best and I am The Worst?


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to  believe that the guru - as AM- had supernatural powers - so he is the best- and i do not have the same supernatural powers he had - so i am not the best - the worst

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the guru - as AM -  as the supreme being created the universe - so he is the best/supreme - and i did not create the universe as the guru so i am not the best/not supreme - the worst

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the guru- as AM - had no ego - so he is the best - and i have ego - so i am the worst

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the guru - as AM - had the power to liberate me and others from the ego - so he is the best - and i do not have the power to liberate me nor other people from their ego - so i am not the best - the worst

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe  that the guru - as AM -can give life to a dead boy - so he is the best - and i cannot give life to a dead boy - so i am not the best - the worst

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the guru - as AM - is the reincarnation of Shiva and Krishna - so he is the best - and i am not the reincarnation of Shiva nor Krishna - so i am not the best - the worst

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the guru as AM - can give power to mantras - so he is the best - and i cannot give power to mantras - so i am not the best - the worst
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the guru - as AM - invented the tandava - an exercise for men to be 'healthy in body and mind 'to so he is the best - and i did not invent the tandava - so i am not the best - the worst

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the guru - as AM - invented the kaoshiiki - an exercise for women to be 'healthy physically and psychologically - so he is the best - and i did not invent the kaoshiiki - so i am not the best - the worst

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the guru - as AM - moves with 'grace of a god' - so he is the best - and i don't move with 'grace of a God'- so i am not he best - the worst

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the guru - as AM - can initiate people into spirituality - so he is the best - and i cannot initiate people into spirituality - so i am not the best - the worst

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the guru - as AM - had monks and followers - so he is the best - and i do not have monks and followers - so i am not the best - the worst

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the guru - as AM - had millions of followers all over the world - so he is the best - and i do not have millions of followers all over the world -so i am not the best - the worst

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the guru - as AM can initiate monks up to the highest lessons in Tantra - so he is the best - and i cannot initiate the monks up to the highest lessons in Tantra - so i am not the best - the worst
===

I realized this is how i defined myself - as the worst.

I realized i was trying to be equal to him - as i defined him as the best - so in my life i am trying to be 'the best' - not realizing i am here in every moment as the breath equal to/as all that exist - so rather than compare me to him and judge and get jealous - within competition - i simply live as who i am - equal to all that exist - standing for what is best for all .

===
Link
 http://earthsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/05/day-12-redefining-words-part-9.html

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realise that the definitions that I have assigned to words are the expressions that I will give life to as living expressions of myself.

 ===
I commit myself to through - writing self-forgiveness and self-corrective statements - assist me to stop the mind - stop judgments - and birth me here as life - standing for what is best for all equally - so that life can be birthed in the physical - until life will be here forevermore

I commit myself to see/realize and understand and for others to see/realize and understand that i am abusing the physical body by getting energy from it - to be used by the mind whenever i judge myself or others

I commit to see/realize and understand that when we get energy from/as the physical/body we are leading the physical into damnation - as eternal suffering for/as all 

I commit myself to show through my blogs - how i assist myself to deconstruct my mind as the conscious, subconscious and unconscious - and assist myself to stop my mind - so others can also be assisted to birth themselves here in he physical - until life will be here forevermore.   


2012: Female Personality : It's all About LOVE! 'You are The Best ' Raw Food Relationships Childhood: Part 4 Day 46

In part 1, i looked at how i interpreted what my dad said when he said, 'you are my favorite child''. In this blog, i will look at  other experiences in relation to this.
The Favorite Child

Yesterday,  my client came and pick up the 20 meals and the 20 desserts he ordered.

It's All About LOVE! 
'You are the Best!'
A  Judgment that is a polarity manifestation of positive and negative judgment


*He said 'you are the best' many times in his emails so i had this  feeling i had to keep up this perception he had of me - and so when he came unexpectedly - i looked at how he will change his perception of me if he sees the mess in the kitchen. I had to do all the preparation all night which means i have to do so much chopping, blending, food processing and dish washing. I cleaned up before i prepare the food.

The night before - me and my partner bought the ingredients, so i put the food items out of the shopping bags and position them where i can easily access that which i need - not  according to where they would look good - which is how i see the mind organizing things - not from the basis of common sense but from the basis of where it will look good.

 Self-correction through Self-forgiveness and Self corrective application - correcting me in every moment when and as i see myself participating in judgment:

*Self-definition

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to what i feel

Belief: When people like me i am good - so i feel good - and when they don't like me - i am bad- and i feel bad

Self-forgiveness for Belief:
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that when people like me i am good and  when people do not like me i am bad
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to feel bad when others do not like me - what i do and how i do things

Manipulating Me to Do What Others Like So I Will feel Good

Self-forgiveness for Manipulation:
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to manipulate myself to do what others like/love so they will like/love me so i will feel good

Organizing and Not Organizing: Mess or No Mess

Self-forgiveness for defining myself within the polarity of mess or no mess, organizing or not organizing:


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that organizing is good and not organizing /mess is bad - as i identify as the ego/personality defining myself within the polarity of organizing and not organizing - mess and no mess

===

*Belief::  If i put things where they will look good to me and others, in an organized way  - i am good - and others will see me as good and if i do not put things where they will create a mess - am bad - and others will see me as bad.

Self-forgiveness for Belief:
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if i have to put things where they will look good to me and others , in an organized way - i am good and others will see me as bad- and when i put things where they will not look good to me and others, in a disorganized way - i am bad - and others will see me as bad
===

*When he knocked on the door i - i was almost finished but not completely. My mind is set up - where i tidy up after i finish what i am doing in the kitchen - so i have not washed some of the dishes. I have not put the leftover food inside the fridge. I have empty containers on top of the table.

*Belief: Washing all the used dishes is good and not washing all the used dishes is bad


Self-forgiveness for Belief:
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that washing all the used  dishes is good and not washing all the used dishes is bad - defining myself within the polarity of good and bad
===

*I looked at how everything in the kitchen is positioned just like a woman entering a competition - making sure i will win.

Belief: The kitchen is a stage where i compete - so i make the food tasty - to win

Self-forgiveness for Belief:
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the kitchen is a stage - where i compete - with others inside my mind - where i am being judged according to how my food will taste compared to others - believing i have to win the competition - so prepare food in separation from the plants that i will cut and prepare - not realizing that i am equal to the plants i will cut and prepare and the kitchen and all the tools in the kitchen - so rather than separate myself from the plants that i will cut and prepare - do self-forgiveness for the separation and commit to correct myself practically -in every moment - where when and as i see myself participatuing in comparison, judgment and jealousy - i stop and breathe - let go and realize that it is me separating myself within/as my mind within comparison, judgment and jealousy - designing competition - to realize that this is not real - because this has no real physical existence - so i commit to stop participating -because this is not best for me - as i will mine my physical body/substance  for energy that i will use to keep this competition going inside my mind - and this is not best for all because - i will support personality systems doing the same thing - designing competition in the food network, in sports, in politics, in the oscars awards, the beauty competitions, the raw food competitions,cooking competitions, business competitions, nations competing against each other in war etc.

Self-forgiveness: Eternal Damnation
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to  not realize and understand that if i mine the physical body with energy - it will lead to eternal damnation as eternal suffering for all

===

*What I saw:

*The left over kale salad and the fruits on top of the stove top - and that to me was 'not supposed to be there'.

*The food processor had the raw tomato sauce with the spatula inside it - that to me was not supposed to be there. The raw tomato sauce should be in the fridge and the food processor should have been washed and dried.


Self-forgiveness for My Beliefs:

 *Belief: it is good to put fruits and vegetables inside the refrigerator after i finish preparing food - and it is bad to leave fruits and vegetables outside the refrigerator after i finish preparing food

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that it is good/right to put the fruits and vegetables inside the refrigerator after i finish preparing food - and it is bad/wrong to leave the fruits and vegetables outside the refrigerator after i finish preparing food

 *Belief: It is good/right to wash the food processor after i finish using it - and it is bad/wrong to not wash the food processor after i finish using it

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to  believe that it is good/right to wash the food processor after i finish using it - and it is bad/wrong to not wash the food processor after using it.

 *Belief: It is good/right to clean the spatula after i used it to mix the sauce - and it is bad to not clean the spatula after i used it to mix the sauce

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that it is good/right  to clean the spatula after i used it to mix the sauce - and it is bad/wrong to not clean the spatula after i used it to mix the sauce

 *Belief: It is good/right to put the tomato sauce inside the refrigerator after i made it - and it is bad/wrong to not put the tomato sauce inside the refrigerator after i made it

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that it is good/right to put the tomato sauce inside the refrigerator after i made it - and it is bad/wrong to not put the tomato sauce inside the refrigerator after i made it.

*Belief: It is good/right to follow the rules in the kitchen - and it is bad/wrong to not follow the rules in the kitchen

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that it is good/right to follow the rules in the kitchen - and it is bad/wrong to not follow the rules in the kitchen

* Belief: It is good/right to be good/right in my eyes and in the eyes of others -and it is bad/wrong to be bad/wrong in my eyes and in the eyes of others

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that it is good/right to be good/right in my eyes and in the eyes of others - and it is bad/wrong to be bad/wrong in my eyes and in the eyes of others
===

*In my point of view - as the ego- personality,  i will lose this competition. I designed myself to win - to be the best - for others to like/love me - so i manipulate myself to do that which people will like/love - and hide that which they will not like/not love.

Self-forgiveness:

Perceiving Myself Separate From All - An Observer with a Point of View
  
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have a point of view - as i identify as the ego-personality perceiving myself separate from all life - not realizing i am equal to all that exist and the only real point of view is - me as all life - standing and viewing all as me - standing for what is best for all

Fear of Losing the Competition
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to doubt me as who i am as self- equal to all that exist - and so within this be uncertain about how i should do things - to please others or just express as me here -lost within a belief that self is divided into 2 worlds of the mind and the physical -building the anxiety - where fear of not being liked by others wins - the mind wins - and my doingness is directed by that fear - where i manipulate myself to use my voice. my physical body movements, control my breathing - to win - within the perceived competition - comparing, judging and being jealous - not realizing that i am here alone in my process of self-perfection - and instead of honoring that fear and engaging in competition within my mind - consuming physical substance - i simply live as who i am - express me - chop vegetables, work in the kitchen, deal with my clients - equal to/as me.

===
*Within defining me as the best - according to how i interpreted my dad was perceiving me - impulsed by the words 'you are my favorite daughter' i am defining me within being the worst - as FEAR of LOSS.


Self-forgiveness:
Wanting To Be 'The Best' as Fear of Being the Worst - Fear Driving Me

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define me as the best - according to how my dad perceive me - impulsed by the words' you are my palangga' meaning 'you are my favorite daughter' - and within that fear being trashed - so look for  ways and means to be the best - so be impulsed by the words 'you are the best' - to participate within competition in the mind - where i use my body movements in the kitchen to express that fear of loss - fear of losing and be known as the worst - so desire to be the best - in the way my food taste - not realizing that i am here as breath in every moment - equal to the food i am preparing - as the plants - equal to all that exist - as the tools i use in the kitchen - equal to/as my client CB.



===

*I fear losing that position of being the best - having defined myself within being the 'best' - according to what others say - fearing that, i will lose that position- so i have to hide my imperfections - and so my client should come only when i can present my best.

Self-forgiveness: 
FEAR of losing my identity as the best

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear losing my identity as the 'best/favorite personality'
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to hide my imperfections to preserve my identity as the best/favorite personality' believing that my client should come only when i can present my best

Beliefs are not Real - I created It In My Mind

I forgive myself that i have not seen/realize and understand that beliefs are not real - i created it in my mind with no real physical existence.

Rather than Hide My Imperfections, Express Self He re as Who I Am Equal To All That Exist?
I forgive myself that i have not accepted and allowed myself to see/realize and understand that when i hide my imperfections, i am participating in the mind, in my secret mind - and it directs me and my expression - so rather than hide - do self-forgiveness and correct myself and my starting point - as the self expressing here - simply living as who i am - equal to all that exist.

Manipulating Others To Like Me Is Manipulating Substance
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that i have to manipulate myself  to be liked by others
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself  to manipulate others to like/love me
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to manipulate others through my words and movements
 ===
*This is how i participate in self-judgment. First, i have to compare myself to others who i consider the best - in their field -  who i defined as people having many fans. In the raw food world they are chefs who have so many friends, with pages so many people like, whose posts are  about their success in making delicious recipes. Then after i compare, i judge them and/or myself - and if i see anyone more than me i get jealous.

Self-forgiveness: 

Comparing Myself To Others

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself, what i do and how i do it - to others who i consider the best in their field - who i defined as people having many fans
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to desire to have many fans - because i saw actresses and public figures as powerful and successful
===

Belief: My Mom as The Best - As A Life - Giver

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my mom is the best because she won as a counsellor in our country - interpreting that,  i too, have to be the best and get many votes to win - just like my mom - within this - i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself to my mom - within this - I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge me as less than my mom  and my mom as more than me - because she gave me life - by giving birth to me into this world - so i  do what she does - enter in a competition - within my mind to win - so i can give life to me - as the ego-personality separating myself from who i am as life.

Belief: The Raw Food Chefs with Fans As The Best 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the raw food chefs that have many fans with recipes on their wall that look good and which so many people like - are the best - and those without many fans are the worst - so strive to have many fans - so sees my client, CB as my fan - and do everything i can to preserve his vote so i can be the best - and within that fear to be the worst - within this i forgive myself to judge the raw food chefs namely, AM, MM, RJ, FP as more than me - and me less than them -and to make the game even - i judge their recipe as less than my recipe- and my recipe as more than theirs - then hide my recipe - believing that if they get the best tasting food - they will be the winner - so keep it to myself - so i will be the winner - in this mind created competition that i made up inside my mind - which is not real - not realizing that i am here as self, unchanging and eternal - equal to all that exist - so simply live as who i am equal to all that is here.

===
Defining The Word Power Within the Word Fans

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define power within the word fans
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word power and the word fans

===
Comparing Myself to People Who Are Successful
Belief: People who are successful are winners 
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself to people who are successful

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that people who are successful are winners 

===
 Connecting the word 'Successful' to the word 'Fans'
Defining the word 'Successful' within the word 'Fans'
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word 'successful' within the word 'fans'
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word 'successful' to the word 'fans'

===
*Belief: Winners have to compete to win

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that winners have to compete to win
 ===

Belief:  Winners have to have people to compare themselves to

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that winners have to have people to compare themselves to

===
*Belief:  Competitors have to fulfill a criteria to be qualified to compete in their respective field

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that competitors have to fulfill a criteria to be qualified to compete in their respective field

*Belief:  Competitors should have more positive votes than negative votes to win the competition

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that competitors should have more positive votes than negative votes to win the competition 

*Belief:  More negative votes mean i will lose the competition

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that more negative votes mean i will lose the competition

*FEAR  having negative votes

 I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear having negative votes

=== 
*Belief: negative votes will make me lose the competition

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that negative votes will make me lose the competition
===
*Belief:  if i lose the competition i will be the labelled as the worst  chef - and so i will not exist as the ego-personality that i defined myself into creation

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if i lose the competition i will be the labelled as the worst  chef - and so i will not exist as the ego-personality that i defined myself into creation - not realizing that i am here as self - equal to all that exist - as we are made from the same substance all are made of.
===
The words 'Worst Chef' connected to the word 'Asian' 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the words 'worst chef' to the word Asian
===

Defining Me as an Asian
Connecting the word Asian to the words 'Third world country'
Defining the word Asian  within the word  'Third world country'

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define me as an Asian 
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word 'Asian' to the words 'third world country'
 I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word 'Asian' within the words 'third world country'
===
Connecting the words 'third world country' to the word 'Poverty'

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the words 'third world countries' to poverty

Connecting the word 'Poverty' to the word 'Suffering'
Defining the word 'poverty' within the word 'suffering'

 I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word 'poverty' to the word 'suffering'
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word 'poverty' within the word 'suffering'
===
Connecting the word 'Suffering' to the word 'Pain'
Defining the word 'suffering' within the word 'Pain'

I forgive myself thati have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word 'suffering' to the word 'pain'
i forgive myself thati have accepted and allowed myself to define the word suffering within the word 'pain'
===
Connecting the word 'Poverty' to the word 'Survive'
Defining the word 'Poverty' within the word 'Survive'

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word 'poverty' to the word 'survive'
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word 'poverty' within the word 'survive'
 ===
Connecting the word 'Poverty' to the word 'Death'
Defining the word 'Poverty' within the word 'death'

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word poverty to the word 'death'
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word 'poverty' within the word 'death'
===
Connecting the word 'Death' to the word 'Non-existence'
Defining the word 'Death' within the word 'Non-existence'

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word 'death' to the word 'non - existence' 
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word 'death' within the word 'non-existence'
 ===
Connecting the word 'Non-existence' to the word 'Losing'
Defining the word 'Non-existence' within the word 'Losing'

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word 'non-existence' to the word 'losing'
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word 'non-existence' within the word 'losing'

===
Connecting the word 'Death' to the word 'Life'
Defining the word 'Death' within the word 'Life'

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word 'death' to the word 'life'
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word 'death' within the word 'life'  

===
Connecting the word 'Death' to the word 'Survive'
Defining the word 'Death' within the word 'Survive'

I forgive myself thati have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word 'death' to the word 'survive'
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word 'death' within the word 'survive' 
===
Connecting the word 'Life' to the word 'Survive'
Defining the word 'Life' within the word 'Survive'

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word 'life' to the word 'survive'
i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word 'life' within the word 'survive'

Connecting the word 'Survive' to the word 'Money'
Defining the word 'Survive' within the word 'Money'

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word 'survive' to the word 'money'
i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word 'survive' within the word 'money' 
===
Connecting the word 'Fear' to the word 'Losing
 Defining the word 'Fear' within the word 'losing'

 I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word 'fear' to the word 'losing'
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word 'fear' within the word 'losing'
===
Connecting the word 'Power' to the word 'Love'
Defining the word 'Power' within the word 'Love'

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word power to the word love
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word power within the word love 
===

Connecting the word 'Success' to the word 'Love'
Defining the word 'Success' within the word 'Love'

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word 'success' to the word 'love'
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word 'success' within the word 'love'

Connecting the word 'Best' to the word 'Love'
Defining the word 'Best' within the word 'Love'
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word 'best' to the word 'love'
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word 'best' within the word 'love'

===
The word 'Mother' and the word 'Love'

Self-forgiveness for connecting the word mother to other words and defining it within other words -  and living it -  seeing my mother more than or less than what she is - equal to all that exist - as me

Mother and Love:
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word 'mother' to the word 'love'
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word 'mother' within the word 'love'
Mother and Votes:
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word 'mother' to the word 'votes'
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word 'mother' within the word 'votes'
Votes and Love:
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word 'votes' to the word 'love'
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word 'votes' within the word 'love'
Mother and People:
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word 'mother' to the word 'people'
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allwoed myself to define the word 'mother' within the word 'people'
Mother and Best:
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word 'mother' to the word 'best'
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word 'mother' within the word 'best'
Mother and Filipina:
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word 'mother' to the word 'Filipina'
I forgive myself that i have accepted and alllowed myself to define the word 'mother' within the word ''Filipina'
Mother and Philippines:
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word 'mother' to the word 'Philippines'
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word 'mother' within the word 'Philippines'
Mother and Public:
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word 'mother' to the word 'public'
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word 'mother within the word 'public'
Mother and Money:
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word 'mother' to the word 'money'
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word 'mother' within the word 'money'
Mother and Cooking:
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word 'mother' to the word 'cooking'
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word 'mother' within the word 'cooking' 
Mother and Food
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word 'mother' to the word 'food'
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word 'mother' within the word 'food'
Grandmother and Food:
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word 'grandmother' to the word 'food'
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word 'grandmother' within the word 'food'
Mother and Tears
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word 'mother' to the word  'tears'
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word 'mother within the word 'tears'
Tears and Pity:
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word 'tears' to the word 'pity'
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word 'tears' within the word 'pity'
Tears and Love:
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word 'tears' to the word 'love'
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word 'tears' within the word 'love'
Mother and Popular
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word 'mother' to the word 'popular'
Mother and Win:
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word 'mother' to the word 'win'
===


Let's look at my childhood:

My relationship with my dad:

I fear doing something wrong - because i might lose my dad's vote. I justified defining myself as the 'i am the best personality' by making good grades in school - better than my brother and sister - which is also existing within competition - designed through comparison, judgment and jealousy. Instead of me taking self- responsibility by writing self-forgiveness and self-commitment to stop, I'd rather manipulate myself to get better grades or do what he likes me to do - like staying in the house and making him some coffee as he worked on his engineering drafts or designs of highways and houses. Because of that fear of losing his 'vote' or losing his approval that i am the 'best child' - i manipulated myself to like what he likes to do and support it. I also suppressed myself to express me and enjoy life as who i am. Instead of writing self-forgiveness and self- commitment to stop, i accepted and allowed it.

Belief: doing what he likes me to do and getting love as a reward is good, and not doing what he liked me to do and not getting a reward liked/loved is bad 

How i see my dad:
I defined my dad as the 'best dad'. He earns good money to support all of us because he worked abroad from time to time and received payment in dollars. Since the currency in the Philippines is pesos which has a lower value - i defined the dollar as having more value ) defining money within competition - designed through comparison, judgment and jealousy - and because i connected money to my dad - i defined my dad as more than other men - defining him as the 'best dad'. Instead of writing self-forgiveness and self-commitment to stop, i accepted and allowed it.

I saw my dad as a savior. He was 19 years older than my mom when they got married according to stories i heard my mom tell me and relatives. According to my mom, he asked my grandmother for her hand and my grandmother said yes. She said she was not asked.

I never saw him come to my dad and hug him nor kiss him. He would always be the one to hug her and kiss her when she's angry. What she would do at that point is to resist his hug and kisses. But when i see her do that me and my sister and brother would cheer for my dad to kiss her - where i was excited to see if my dad would be able to make her laugh. Most of the time he would succeed so i get excited when that happened.

My relationship with my mom:
'I want to be liked by others'
I noticed that when we visit friends and relatives she talks about the positive things i have done and usually they smile and pat me in the back - and say some words like 'ohhh- that's good Bap (my nickname), so you are the best child - keep it up'. So, in response i would smile and look away - where i will be the 'shy personality' - a personality that i created to justify existing as the 'you're the best personality'. I made sure that i do not tell them what else i did that is not good, wrong or negative - which i keep in the deep recesses of my mind - so they will not know who i have become -as the evil personality that designs competition in my mind within myself and others. So, when my mom would say something good about me to others i would smile a little bit - and then pat the back of my mom and say 'no, ma, don't tell them that' - which is me being shy about my mom lifting me up - or making me good in the eyes of others - because i know i am not that. Instead of me taking self-responsibility and write my self-forgiveness and self-commitment to stop, i accepted and allowed myself to exist within competition - the winning and losing game where i compare, judge and get jealous, I'd rather be shy about it. I accepted and allowed it. I just acted as if i was just an observer - so i will not have to take self-responsibility for what i accepted and allowed.

How i see my mom:
'I am a savior personality'
I see my mom as a savior, as someone who gave me life, someone who i can depend on , someone who will always be there for me - in essence i saw her as more than me - and within that judge me as less than her - and within that design comparison, judgment and jealousy.

I also saw that when she became counsellor of our town, people would knock on our door to ask for help when members of their family got sick.She would contact the government agency like the air force one time and they will send an airplane to ship the sick to the hospital for free. I believed that was good.

So, instead of taking self-responsibility by writing self-forgiveness and writing self-commitment to stop existing within competition - the winning and losing game, i accepted and allowed it.

The way i see her personality:
'I am a happy go lucky personality'
I saw her as a personality that is always with people. She would always be talking to people and she would help them always. I interpreted that as her wanting to save others from poverty and suffering. I never saw her cry nor get sad. She got angry but i never saw her cry. I saw that as stability. I saw her as a rock i can lean on - where i judged her as more than me and me as less than her.


The way she dressed up:
"I want to dress up personality':
I saw that she was always dressed up. When she gets invited to attend an event or party, she would most of the time buy new clothes for that occasion and she made sure she also got something for me, my sister and my brother.She would have a dress  for every occasion and shoes that goes with the dress most of the time. I interpreted that as - her wanting me to present her best so others will like like her - which supports the point of competition which i was already participating within.  At home she wasn't dressed up. She just puts on a duster - a loose dress that is very comfortable to wear.

The way she treated my dad:
'I want to  play the courtship game'
I did not see her kiss nor hug my dad. But she would always cook for everyone of us. She would cook my dad food that he liked and i hear my dad talk in his dialect and say 'maado - kaado ado' - which means 'very tasty'.
===


Let's look at my  relationship with my grandmother:
'I am a savior personality'
When my mom had to study in the city, i was left with my grandmother. She took care of me, my sister and my brother. We lived with 2 aunts (i remembered living with just one aunt as my other aunt left to live with another relative) and 3 uncles.So, with her, i was not treated special - i was just one of the kids.  But because my mom was not there - and she was the one taking care of us,  i defined her as a giver of life, as the 'best grandmother', as the one that gives me life. So what she does i equated to life. In essence, i am designing competition - the winning and losing game - within comparison, judgment and jealousy. Instead of writing self-forgiveness and self-commitment to stop existing within competition, i accepted and allowed it.

How i see her as a 'religious'
I tarted doing what my grandmother did because i saw her as a giver of life - because she took care of us when my mom was not there. I saw her going to church 3 times a day and waking up early in the morning to pray - so i defined that as good. I started doing the same thing she did. I went to church with her and started praying like her. Early in the morning, when she prays the rosary, at about 4 AM, she would wake us up and pinch me in my thigh if i will not wake up and pray with her. I had to respond to the repeated affirmation that God is good - and when i do that - in essence i am accepting that there is someone more than me. I am judging God as more than me and me less than him.

The House we lived in:


When i lived with my father and mother, we lived in a big house


 My grandmother had a smaller house.


The living room floor is made of concrete and there is a small stairs going to the family room which acts as the bedroom. There were no partitions in the upper floor - which is more like a loft.. The floor was made of bamboo where air passed through which cools that part of the house. Upon reaching the upper floor one sees her sewing machine facing the window. The window opens and closes with the help of a bamboo pole. There's one bed in the end of the room, but at night, we all sleep on the floor on a mat made out of  dried leaves of the coconut and to protect us from mosquitoes, we put a mosquito net by attaching the corners of it to a nail in 4 corners of the room .



I became shy about being poor - as i defined being poor as having a small house - where i connected the word poor and the word house - and judged a small house as less than a big house and a big house as more than a small house - so i designed competition - within comparison, judgment and jealousy. Instead of writing self-forgiveness and self-commitment to stop, i accepted and allowed it.
===


Belief:: my grandmother is the best, other grandmothers are not as good (bad)
Belief:  being rich is good, being poor is bad
Belief: having a big house is good, having a small house is bad
Judgment: My grandmother is more than me, i am less than my grandmother

===
My Illness: Cancer
'I love to be healthy personality'
I fear having  cancer or any disease that will endanger my life.I saw diseases as more than me and me less than them so  So, from this fear, i decided be healthy. I saw people who eat vegetarian food to be healthy  so i turned vegetarian. I saw some people turn raw vegan - so i turned raw vegan. I did not see that the starting point is fear of losing my  body - which is fear of not existing. 

In My Relationships:
SVS:
He studied at the same school i studied. He would make fun of me by making me squat in front of everyone when we had our high school army training. He would walk under my umbrella when he saw me walking home after school to tease me. I would resist him by playfully hitting him with my umbrella. He would laugh when i do this to him - and i enjoyed that courtship game.  I judged him as more than me and me less than him

We got married and had kids. He was a systems analyst so i studied computer programming to understand what he does. I also asked his mom her recipes so that i can cook what he liked. That was the first time i learned how to cook.

He always eat at his mom's place so I feared losing him - for his mom or other women. I decided to learn how to cook. So, cooking was a way for me to be liked by people around me. In the beginning i judged him as more than me and me less than him. But in the end- i judged him as less than me and me more than him

SA
I always talk to this guy in a way - telling him i liked him and manipulated for him to like me by asking him to to bring me home in the middle of the night - so we will spend some time alone together as he was always surrounded with people. We had a short relationship and had a child. I succeeded in getting him to like/love me and in the end i ended the relationship because of money problems - then i turned around and blamed him for it. I judged him as less than me and me more than him.

MT
I needed someone to take care of me at that time i was in a foreign country - so i went out with him. I put on clothes that fit me well. it was colored mustard and black. He was not into commited relationships. I judged him as more than me and me less than him.

JW
He turned vegetarian when he met me. He was a 'happy go lucky' guy. He was older than me but i cooked him nice vegetarian meals which he liked - so he liked that. I interpreted that as him liking/loving me - but he was not into marriage so i judged him as more than me and me less than him

MX
He liked drawing aboriginal paintings so he taught me how to put dots in the painting. He treated me well. He was not doing yoga but he did do yoga. I interpreted that as - he liked/loved me as he liked to please me by doing what i like to do.I did not get excitement in that relationship and was bored. I judged him as less than me and me more than him

ANO
He was everything i did not want - but my relationship at that time was not working - so i cheated and had a short fling with him. He was  a man who does not fit into my definition of a man i will like/love. I defined that as freedom and being in a long lasting relationship as control. I judged him as more than me and me less than him

KV
He was handsome and intelligent. He was a student. He did not have money. I liked for him to love me - but he was not into that at that time. He was just passing by. I felt bad because i interpreted that as losing - so i judged him as more than me and me less than myself.

RD
He was very jealous. I was also very jealous. We had good sex - so i judged him as more than me and me less than him - where if i lose him i will lose that good feeling.

RL
He said he wanted to be vegetarian after i fed him some vegetarian food- so i interpreted that as him liking/loving me . We got married after that. I judged him as less than me and me more than him.





Monday, May 28, 2012

2012 The Female Personality: Redefining The Words Question and Answer Part 4 Day 45





Reference for Redefining Words: http://juneroca.com/words/redefining-words/

Redefining the word Question :
(Que S-elf DesTination)   an inquiry of/as the ego-personality - that wants to know - something separate from oneself -  in separation  from all that exist - that asks for a reply to know something- to understand something/oneself (the destination)  to have knowledge and information separate from oneself - realizes that one is equal to all that exist - an inquiry of/from/as self - of which points one is participating in/as the mind - to get an answer from/as self to stop and birth oneself here as life - to assist in birthing life in the physical so life will be here forevermore.

Redefining The Word Answer:
(An-onymous S-elf W-here E-nergy Resides) Anonymous -  as when self is pushed aside in favor of energy where the ego-personality - as the illusion that is based on energy -  perceived separate from/as all that exist - gives a reply - which is something that will satisfy ones mind -  depending on ones beliefs about good and bad, right or wrong and positive or negative - realizes that oneself is equal to all that exist - and through the process of self-perfection - stops participating in the mind - gives a reply that will end abuse of self/life/substance - from the starting point of what is best for all - births self here as life and births a world where life based on equality will exist forevermore - as the real answer.


Self-forgiveness for connecting words to other words and defining a word witihin other words - where i see words as more than or less than what it is:

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the word question
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word question to the word answer
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word question to the word God
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word question to the word unknown
i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word question to the word understand
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word question to the word life
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word question to the word death
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word question to the word universe
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word question to the word science
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word question to the  word why
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word question to the word who
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word question to the word what
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word question to the word how
i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word question to the word where
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word question to the words question mark
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word question to the symbol ?
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word question to the word fear
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word question to the word mistake
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word question to the word police
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word question to the word interrogation
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word question to the word right
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word question to the word wrong
i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word question to the word
positive
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word question to the word negative
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word question to the word good
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word question to the word bad

===
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word question within the word answer
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word question within the word God
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word question within the word unknown
i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word question within the word understand
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word question within the word life
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word question within the word death
i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word question within the word universe
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word question within the word science
i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word question within the word why
i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word question within the word who
i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word question within the word what
i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word question within the the word how
i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word question within the word where
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word question within the words question mark
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word question within the symbol ?
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word question within the word fear
i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word question within the word mistake
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word question within the word police
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word question within the word interrogation
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word question within the word right
i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word question within the word wrong
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word question within the word positive
i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word question within the word negative
i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word question within the word good
i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word question within the word bad

===


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the word answer
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word answer to the word question
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word answer to the word yes
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word answer to the word no
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word answer to the word maybe
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word answer to the word nod
i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word answer to the phrase 'shake your head'
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word answer to the word good
i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word answer to the word bad
i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word answer to the word positive
i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word answer to the word response
i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word answer to the word negative
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I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word answer within the word question
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word answer within the word yes
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word answer within the word no
i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word answer within the word maybe
i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word answer within the word nod
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word answer within the phrase ' shake your head'
i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word answer within the word good
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word answer within the word bad
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word answer within the word positive
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word answer within the word response
i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word answer within the word negative

2012 The Female Personality Part 3: 'Who Am I?' Day 44 The Search Is Over : I Am Here

The Female Personality 



The Female Personality
Part 1 Part 2


'Who Am I?'
Beginning and End

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that there is a beginning and an end - as i identify as the ego-personality - separate from all parts of me as life - so defined into creation a God - believing that there is a God - believing that God knows everything i want to know - believing i do not have to take self-responsibility - believing he has to take self-responsibility  - believing he set up the world the way it is - believing my belief is real - believing  i can just pray to him to give me all that i need - when and how he wants to - believing that he knows when and how i will have the information - believing that i can have an excuse - believing that my excuse is valid - believing an excuse is valid if it benefits me as i identify as the ego-personality  - defined by self-interest - perceiving me as separate from all life - and supporting all personality systems based on that same point that i am partcipating in as the ego-personality - which is how i create the evil in this world - not realizing the common sense point that good cannot exist without evil - so in believing in God- i am accepting and allowing myself to create evil in this world.

'I Believe In God'

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge God as more than me and me less than him-

"I Need Someone To Take Self-Responsibility in my Behalf' 
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe someone has to take self-responsibility in my behalf - and that is God - not realizing that i am here - i take self-responsibility for all parts of me as life

'I Need An Excuse For Not Taking Self-responsibility For/As Me' 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that i need an excuse for me not taking self-responsibility for me - and that believing that there is God is the excuse - to deny me as the substance equal to/as the body as life - and relinguishing/abdicating my self-responsibility as substance is justified by praying to that God or meditating to the guru - instead of being and acting as who i am here as the physical body as life

'I Need To Be Joyful and Blissful' 
I forgive myself that i accepted and allowed myself to believe that that feeling of joy/bliss- is me as who i really am enjoying me as self - within self-dishonesty -and self-sabotage - not realizing that that JOY/BLISS is a manifestation of my beliefs - where i abuse and mine substance by manifesting my mind created illusion here in the physical as Joy/Bliss -  as i participate in the mind within beliefs etc. - defying who i am here as life - equal to all that exist - as the physical body as the physical existence as all of me as life - not realizing that when i manifest this belief or whatever belief in the physical as a positive energy of/as Joy/Bliss- i support the slaughter of animals for money - the same way i mine substance by existing in/as the mind - the mind gets energy from the body/life/substance - the same way we get life/substance from the body of an animal - not realizing that my being a vegetarian / vegan will not solve the problem of animal slaughter in this world because animal slaughter is based on the greed for money as self-interest - existent in this current monetary system - and that to forever remove animal slaughter in this world - we need a new system based on equality - where all life will be taken cared of - equally -within this i forgive myself for participating in an unequal monetary system where i have money and others do not have it - where i can buy all the vegetables that i need because i have money - and within this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to continue to support an unequal monetary system - by working for money and have a business where i have to slaughter vegetables to get money - where the plants are being disregarded because they do not move and scream like humans -within this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to support personality systems based on the same point i am participating in/as - in the unending struggle for survival as the ego-personality existing within a system of personalities doing the same thing that i do - where all create a world of abuse by supporting each other in the name of love-  that mines life/substance in favor of JOY and BLISS of/as the mind- all because i want to feel good - in self-interest - not realizing i am here in every moment of breath as life - equal to all that exist - and that i can change and all can change and create a world that truly honors life - based on equality


'Joy and Bliss Is Self?' 
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that joy/bliss is the manifestation of substance - as life - not realizing that joy/bliss is a mind created positive feeling/extreme positive feeling - where the mind is getting energy from the physical body to manifest that feeling of joy/bliss - and that is the reason we age - the same way we abuse substance/life by killing animals, abusing the earth - all are ways we defy who we really are as equal to all that is here.

I commit to through writing self-forgiveness and self-commitment to direct myself to when and as i see myself participate in beliefs , judgments etc. - i stop and breath and correct my starting point - saying 'I am here' and correct myself in my daily application in every moment here.

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'The Curiousity' 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that i have to satisfy the curiosity to know who i am, who created me,  what is my purpose in life and how i can go back or unite with God -believing that satisfying curiosity is good and not satisfying curiosity is bad

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that  answering all questions is good and not answering all my questions about life is bad - not realizing that i have defined myself as knowledge and information separate from me - thus wanting to know and understand everything and everyone separate from me - asking questions and looking for answers - separate from me - not realizing that unless i am one and equal to knowledge and information - as substance - i am just an observer and thus the observer  in separation to/as the observed - as i identify as the ego-personality - not realizing that i am here in every moment of breath - and that i have to stand as self and give self to self by writing self-forgiveness and self-commitment to stop when and as i see myself being and doing from the starting point of me as the ego-personality - trying to understand life - in separation from/as life as an observer interpreting what i see based on knowledge and information i accumulated from my external world/environment within my interaction with/as people - and that unless i correct that starting point and apply me as who i am as self - i am not here. I am trapped as the ego-personality separate from all that exist

'My Excuse Is Justified' 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my excuse is justified - believing that not knowing who i am is bad and knowing who i am is good - defining myself within knowledge and information separate from me as life.

'There is a Beginning and an End'
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that 'i have to define the beginning and create it' - using this belief as an excuse to justify my going to church and praying to God to experience relief - knowing that i mined substance/life in favor of joy/bliss/relief - which are energies that give life to me as the ego-personality - believing that because i see my grandmother worshiping a God, worshiping a God is good - and that not worshiping a God is bad - where i defined my grandmother as a life - giver  - as someone who is there when my mom is not there to give life to me as the ego-personality based on family relationship ties ---within that i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my mom is a life-giver - believing that someone who feeds me is a life-giver - connecting the word food and the word life - and within this i forgive myself hat i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that stories of God i hear from my father as bedtime stories - is true because i defined what my father say as true- within this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my father is a life-giver - believing a life-giver is someone who makes sure we have money to buy food to eat to survive which is  - within this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connecting the word true to the word father---within this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word father to the word life-giver -within this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word food to the word survive - within this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear not surviving/not existing/death as/of me as the ego.---Within this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe the stories my father tell me about God - defining me within knowledge and information- spiting who i am as substance as the physical body - abdicating my responsibility to be and act as me as life/ substance - that is here in/as the body in every moment of/as breath  - being, moving and expressing as who i am here as all life - in favor of that mind created energetic feeling of joy/bliss -- within this I forgive myself that i have manipulated substance by defining God into creation and manifesting that illusion into and as me - pushing self aside - as who i really am aside in favor of me as the ego-personality - who is just an illusion


The  'I Want Bliss 
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within knowledge and information based on positive and negative energy experience of me - where i gave my power- as who i am here - in favor of a positive energy experience - which is bliss - an extreme positive experience of the mind - believing that i am less than who i am because i cannot understand who i am - where i came from and what my purpose is in life - and because of this believe that - i have to search for it - and when i find it - do the practice set out by my guru or pray because the bible says so or the priest says so  - within this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define gurus, God, priests/monks as more than me and me less than them - believing that they have knowledge and information  that i do not have -within this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that one who has more knowledge and information than me - is more than me and me less than them as i defined myself within knowledge and information - which is what one accumulate and integrate into oneself  from ones childhood from/of  ones external world and environment – and people within/from ones environment/external world - where one walks into /as child as an OBSERVER that imprints reality into the mind- rather than being here as my physical body equal to and one with/as it in fact where i can communicate with all parts of me as the physical body - and communicate with /as the blood, the cells, the tissues, the veins etc.all parts of life here.

The 'Searching' 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that i have to search for and realize that self - not realizing that that self is here in every moment of breath - realizing that i have separated from who i am as that self- and in that separation see me as separate from all parts of me as life - within this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define me into creation as that ego-personality that is searching for who i am - how i am -and what i am - separate from all that exist - not realizing that i am here as breath in every moment.

'I am The Limited Ego'  >  'I need To Know' 
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that i am the limited ego personality - and within that search for who i am - who created me - and what is my purpose in life -believing i am an observer of life rather than equal to life itself - looked around me and interpreting what i see, hear and observe according to  my own interpretation of reality - not realizing that that is not reality - it was just an interpretation of/as reality - and that i am here in every moment of breath - as the body interacting with/as the physical as all parts of me as life

'I need Someone To Take Care of Me' 
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my mom and dad are my care takers - and within that i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that because i am nourished by the milk from my mom - that my life depends on my mom - within this i forgive myself to fear that if my mom leaves i will not survive- not realizing that i am here in every moment of breath not defined by life and death

I commit to take self-responsibility for what i have accepted and allowed and stop myself using self-forgiveness and commitment to correct myself in every moment when and as i see myself believing my mom and dad is my care- taker and assist in establishing a world of equality where everyone will be taken cared of - birthing a new system that stands for what is best for all life.

'I do Not Know Who i Am' 
I forgive myself to believe that i do not know who i am - not realizing that i am here as breath in every moment - i simply live as who i am as self one and equal to all that exist

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe i do not know what i am - not realizing that i am here as breath in every moment -  i simply live as who i am equal to/as all that exist

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that i do not know the purpose of why i am here - not realizing that i am here as breath in every moment - i simply live as who i am - equal to/as all that exist.

I commit to - through writing self-forgiveness and self-commitment to assist me in directing myself when and as i see myself participate in questioning who i am, what i am and how i am - stopping and breathing and saying 'i am here' - and correcting my starting point

I commitment  myself to direct me in every moment of breath - where instead of searching - i simply live as who i am - as the breath in every moment here - equal to all that is exist- standing for what is best for all life

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