Yoga, Meditation and The Sentient Diet

Mind Pattern

>I am stressed
>I better do yoga exercises
>so I will feel relaxed and peaceful
>I feel relaxed, peaceful, calm and healthy after I do yoga
>I wonder how people can live without doing yoga in this world?


Here , there is a desire to have peace and I am being directed by my mind to get the body into different body postures to get 'peace of mind' and relaxation through that.

This is based on a belief (me hearing and reading that yoga is good from the books and discourses by my guru then). I then try to manifest this in physical reality by doing yoga exercises 2x a day.

I was unaware that I was abusing the body through doing yoga postures. I did not see the desire to do yoga postures come from a fear of being overwhelmed and stressed - which I equated to having pain and suffering. It looks 'positive  and healing' while I was doing it. I felt good and relaxed after doing yoga. But what I did not see was that the positive comes from a negative.

My wanting to do yoga started from a fear. This fear is  the fear of being overwhelmed and stressed.

 It was not about assisting the body. It was about getting relaxed after doing yoga - which makes me feel good,

I have a selfish interest- believing that I look good and healthy when I feel peaceful inside. This was attached to my idea of how I look when I was stressed compared to when I was relaxed/peaceful.

This is not real peace. This is an idea of peace in my mind.

Real peace is not about fighting for peace.

It is about being self-directive and stable when problems come - breathing through them and taking myself by the hand, to release the reactions accumulating within myself where I am able to release the build-up, knowing how I created it and walking myself back to stability.

It is about releasing mind patterns that has mind components like ideas, beliefs and manipulation etc. that,comes up in every moment - being aware that I created them and I am in a position to un-create them.. It is about redefining who I am within the polarized definitions in my mind and living the redefinitions as my story of change.

My definition of animal meat for example and my definition of vegetable meat at that time I was doing yoga 2x a day was,

animal meat - not good for my body and mind - disease and death
vegetable meat - good for my body and mind - healthy

My definitions of yoga then was,

yoga - peaceful and calm, controlled mind
no yoga - easily upset, mind is erratic, reactive

My definitions of meditation then was,

meditation - liberation from suffering and pain
no meditation - suffering and pain

It was clear that I was running away from my fear of suffering and pain, reactions, disease  and death.

If we have a look at the meaning of the following words, in the dictionary (Word Web),

Yoga
A system of exercises practiced as part of the Hindu discipline to promote control of the body and mind

Suffering
Feelings of mental or physical pain

Meditation 
(religion) contemplation of spiritual matters (usually on religious or philosophical subjects)

Meat
1.The flesh of animals (including fishes and birds and snails) used as food
2.The inner and usually edible part of a seed, grain, nut or fruit stone

These are very different definitions from how I defined it before.

Continued

Guru Mathematics 8 : Warm Feeling On Chest Part 6 Day 240 Behavior

 

About Writing/Blogging

Store

SELF-FORGIVENESS

===

My Food and Nutrition Blog Site:

http://foodandnutritionjunejourneytolife.blogspot.com/
===
STORE
===

The Mathematics of Life
===
The Guru Mathematics

http://juneroca.com/mathematics-of-life/the-guru/

Quantum Mind 46

===

This is a continuation of Part 7
I will highlight the dimension i am working on in this blog with the color pink 

Topic: Self-forgiving me and correcting me in my living application standing equal with the mind - realizing i can only change/stop that which i am equal to/as - stopping mind participation to birth me here as equal to/as all Life

Specific Point: 'My Mind Relationship with the Guru'

What is Self-forgiveness?

http://juneroca.com/my-process/self-forgiveness/

Why am i using Mathematics?

I am using mathematical symbols to illustrate how i gave mind values instead of giving  real values as the value of every manifestation as equal to the value that is Life 

The Dimensions of the Mind:

Fear as The Base Platform of the Mind

Fear: Fear of not being able to go to India and see the guru

Conscious: 

Thought : picture of me standing with wide eyes listening to the monk telling me i have to see Baba (the guru)

Imagination: 'me feeling something different/feeling blissful when i see him'

Reaction: Wonder

Subconscious

Backchat: 'there must be some magical feeling being with the guru'

Unconscious

Body Movement: upper part of chest feeling warm. eyes opening wide

Consequence: learning from how i developed a relationship with the guru  - within existing as an energy experience  that i believed was real when it is in fact existent within a relationship that is coming from a MIND simulated version of reality of the physical body and this physical existence.

Facing the consequence and breathing through it as i stand and change and birth me here as who i am

Intoducing The Quantum Mind

Introducing The Quantum Mind ( System) Systemization

Body Movement
upper part of chest feeling warm. eyes opening wide

Self-forgiveness:

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to particiopate in the design of/as

'fear of survival - as body movement'

fear not having body movement
that gives me a positive energy experience
 as in -the upper part of my chest feeling warm
and my eyes opening wide

believing that when i have a warm feeling in my upper chest

and my eyes are opening wide
i am expressing who i am as that happy self 
that is alive
believing that the self expresses in a positive way

believing that when i am happy 
i exist and live life

believing that for someone to live life
one has to be able to move ones body/physical
to express oneself within wonder and excitement
and other positive energy experiences 
having wide eyes, warm feeling in the chest, smile etc.

believing that when i am sad
i retreat into a corner and cry 
believing that that is the ego 
believing the ego expresses in a negative way

within this, doubting who i am

believing that i am split into 2
 the ego as the sad me
experiencing negative energy experiences
and the self as the happy me 
experiencing positive energy experiences

connecting an expressionless face 
to a picture of DB,  our house help when i was young
(memory of when i was 5-7 yrs old)
as he does not react in happiness or sadness
when my mom shouts at him
connecting an expressionless face to 
inferiority, poverty and illiteracy

and within that fear of being expressionless
desiring to widen my eyes and feel warm on my upper chest
to have a positive energy experience

connecting this to my grandmother, my mom
characters in movies and on tv etc.
who react in excitement 
when anticipating a future positive energy experience

instead of realizing that 

i am using the mind to manipulate the body/physical

to move in a certain way - within body movements

manipulating the body to justify my desire to go and see the guru
based from a belief that i will have a positive energy experience
when i do that

as the evil me 

 resourcing the body/physical 

transforming nutrients to energy  

transforming natural energy to unnatural energy

for the mind to exist

Through this,

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to 

doubt who i am

within the belief that 

i am split into 2

the sad me as the ego 
as the one 
not having positive energy experience/ having negative energy experience
 
the one whose eyes are not opening wide
from 'wonder' or 'excitement'
but having droopy eyes and crying

based from 
a past experience of being  
powerless, useless and helpless

and the good me
as the one having a positive energy experience
the one whose eyes are opening wide 
 the one having a warm feeling on the upper chest
 
 blaming the physical for 
having positive and negative movements

believing gurus move in a special way and 
believing devotees move in a normal way

believing gurus talk in a special way
and devotees talk in a normal way

believing that gurus have power
and 'normal people ' are powerless

using my mind
to manipulate the body 

for my eyes to open wide
to have a warm feeling on my chest
 to  justify my desire 
to see the guru

making that imagination real/physical
believing that if i experience it
in my body
it is real

not seeing and realizing that
i am the one giving positive and negative values 
to humans/people
and their body movements
 creating  a positive or a negative energy experience 
within myself
 to them

not seeing and realizing that
i am the one using the mind 
to manipulate my body
to justify my desire
to see the guru 

Through this, 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to

blame the physical 
for having body movements
to express positive and negative energy experiences

believing that it is natural for the eyes to widen 
when there's some wonderful and exciting things
happening in the future

believing it is natural for the upper chest to feel warm
when there's some wonderful and exciting things happening in the future

with the excuse that i have to survive 
within positive body movements

not seeing and realizing that 
it is me using my mind 
to manipulate the  eyes to open wide
and the upper chest to feel warm
in order for me to have a positive energy experience

Through this,

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to

have the excuse that  i have to survive 

within positive body movements

believing that the self

can express itself 

by being happy and acting it out

justifying that by saying 'i have to be whole'

not realizing that
i am using the mind to manipulate the body 
to open my eyes wide 
and to feel warm on my upper chest
to justify my desire to see someone 
who i gave a positive value to

and did not even ask myself these questions:


1. 'Do i have a mind beingness relationship
and a physical beingness relationship?
2. Is my beingness the mediator between the mind and the physical?
3. Is there some part of my beingness that was programmed within these relationships?
4. Is this my physical body patterning?
5. Are those physical behaviours a general presence of myself 
that i physically resonate?
6. Is this standing of who i am also contributed by 
those beingness energy relationships in my mind/consciousness
that keeps me in my presence
 in my physical behavior
within a very certain way of being/way of behaving?
7. Is there some parts of my beingess that were deliberately programmed
into personality systems
to keep me as separate from my beingness 
as possible?'


Quantum Mind Self Awareness 46



Through this,

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to

justify this excuse by saying ' i have to be whole'

believing that if i use the mind 

to manipulate the eyes to open wide

and to manipulate the upper chest to feel warm  

to physically experience a feeling 

that i imagined in my mind

i am becoming 'whole' 

or happy as self

not seeing and realizing that 

i am here as breath in every moment

 standing as my mind

standing as the body/physical

writing, self-forgiving and correcting my living application

developing an equal and one relationship with the body/physical

to move the body/physical

as an expression of who i am here in the physical

and birthing myself here

as who i am

===

Self -Correction Script

I commit myself to when and as i see myself 

fearing not being able to open my eyes wide 

fearing not having a warm feeling on my chest

to have a positive energy experience

i stop - i breathe 

I realized that i am giving a positive value to 

eyes opening wide 

and feeling warm on my upper chest  

connecting eyes opening wide

and feeling warm on my upper chest

to an experience of self 

which does not compute

as i am here in every moment as breath

and can move the body 

without using the mind

to manipulate it 

to move in a certain way to justify my desire

I also realized that i have connected this to

pictures and movies i see which has actors and actresses 

reacting that way when excited

and seeing my mom, my grandmother, family relatives etc.

acting that way when excited 

and when they were expecting a positive event in the future 

I realize that i am giving a negative value to my eyes not opening wide 

and giving a negative value to not having a warm feeling on my upper chest

connecting an expressionless face to 

a negative experience in the past 

seeing a male house help in my house, DB

when i was young

who was illiterate, poor and having a job that is paid a lot less than other jobs

seeing him not reacting to my mom's anger 

as something i want for myself but because of 

seeing him as having very little money and being very poor

i saw him as inferior 

and so connecting an expressionless/not moving face or body

to inferiority

using fuzzy logic

fearing being poor, illiterate and expressionless

fearing to experience the abuse they experience in the hands of their employers

being shouted at, having no private bedroom

having no right to express oneself

so desiring to express through using the mind to 

manipulate the eyes to open wide 

and to feel warm on the upper chest

to justify my desire to see the guru

to have a positive energy experience

I change my starting point and stabilize me as breath 

and realize that who i am is here

and delete the pictures, desires  etc. 

standing  within myself

 stop the illusion of me as energy and realize 

that who i am what i am and how i am

as substance/equality and oneness remains here/is here

and had always been here

I commit myself to when and as i see myself 

doubting and being uncertain about who i am

within opening my eyes wide - believing it is me as self

and not opening my eyes wide - believing it is me as the ego

I stop - i breathe

Realization:

I equated eyes opening wide to being happy and equated being happy to self

I  stabilize me as breath and assist me to accept and allow me to see/realize 

that i am here as breath in every moment. I clap 2x and stomp my feet

to wake myself up.

I commit myself to when and as i see myself doubting and being uncertain about who i am

within having a warm feeling on my upper chest - believing it is as self 

and not having a warm feeling on my upper chest - believing it is the ego 

i stop - i breathe 

Realization:

I equated warm feeling on my upper chest to being happy  and equated being happy to being the self

I equated no warm feeling on my upper chest to being unhappy and equated being unhappy to being the ego

I assist myself to stabilize me as breath and realize who i am is here in every moment

I commit myself to when and as i see myself

blaming the physical for having body/physical movements 

that express positive and negative energy experiences

i stop - i breathe 

Realization:

It is me that has given positive value to eyes opening wide and chest feeling warm

so it is my self-responsibility to stop this

I assist myself to realize that these were mind values that are not real

as i made them up within my mind

and it is to develop an equal and one relationship with the body/physical and move as an expression of who i am, what i am and how i am as equal to all that is here that is the key.

I commit myself to when and as i see myself  

having the excuse that i have to survive

as positive body movements

I stop - i breathe 

Realization:

My desire for a positive energy experience 

comes from fear of a negative energy experience

My desire to survive comes from fear of survival

I assist myself to face my fears 

to through writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective application 

birth myself here as a self-responsible human

I commit myself to when and as i see myself 

justifying my excuse by saying ' i need to be whole'

using the mind to manipulate body/physical movements 

to justify my desires 

i stop- i breathe

Realization: 

I have given a positive value to being 'whole' within balance in polarity 
from an awareness of separation 
within conflict and friction 

as i perceived a split in my beingness when i fear surviving

                                                             in a world of inequality

It is to instead realize that i can be whole
 without separating from the source
through conflict and friction

realizing that the key is to stop me as an illusion of consciousness
and realize  that who i am, what i am and how i am remains/is here 
and had always been here

It is to realize that i need to assist in establishing a world that truly honors life 

based on equality 
to support myself to not fear surviving in this world 
and within that desire eternal life in the hereafter

fearing  survival in this physical existence
so desires to have a comfortable existence in the hereafter 

creating an idea that the guru will give me  liberation
so i can run away from taking self-responsibility 
to creating a world that truly honors life based on equality 
===

The Mathematics of Giving Positive and Negative Mind Values

Vs

Giving Values equal to Life

I realized i have given positive or  negative values to the following  

'as in

wide eyes = seeing the guru in the future = happiness = positive energy experience = +100

warm feeling on the chest = seeing the guru in the future = happiness = positive energy experience = +100

happiness = self = +1000

sadness = ego = -1000

Expressionless face ( DB ) = sadness = inferiority = poverty = illiteracy= death of personality = not surviving = not existing = -100

Face that is full of expression (eyes widening and feeling warm on upper chest - visible with hands on top of heart area) = AR (mother) and  VS (grandmother) = happiness = superiority = literacy = life of personality = surviving = existing = +100

inequality = fear of survival = sadness = death of personality = - 100'

Not realizing that these values are not real

as i made them up in my mind

and it is to realize that who i am is here 

and it is to develop an equal and one relationship with the body/physical 

and move as an expression of who i am

and to assist in establishing a world that truly honors life
to be able to see that we an survive without needing to fear.

Guru Mathematics 7 Longing Part 5 Day 239: Power

 

About Writing/Blogging

Store

SELF-FORGIVENESS

===

My Food and Nutrition Blog Site:

http://foodandnutritionjunejourneytolife.blogspot.com/
===
STORE
===

The Mathematics of Life
===
The Guru Mathematics

http://juneroca.com/mathematics-of-life/the-guru/

===

This is a continuation of Part 4

I will highlight the dimension i am working on in this blog with the color pink 

Topic: Self-forgiving me and correcting me in my living application standing equal with the mind - realizing i can only change/stop that which i am equal to/as - stopping mind participation to birth me here as equal to/as all Life

Specific Point: 'My Mind Relationship with the Guru'

What is Self-forgiveness?

http://juneroca.com/my-process/self-forgiveness/

Why am i using Mathematics?

I am using mathematical symbols to illustrate how i gave mind values instead of giving  real values as the value of every manifestation as equal to the value that is Life 

The Dimensions of the Mind:

Fear as The Base Platform of the Mind

Fear: Fear of not being able to go to India and see the guru

Conscious: 

Thought : picture of me standing with wide eyes listening to the monk telling me i have to see Baba (the guru)

Imagination: 'me feeling something different/feeling blissful when i see him'

Reaction: Wonder

Subconscious

Backchat: 'there must be some magical feeling being with the guru'

Unconscious

Body Movement: upper part of chest feeling warm. eyes opening wide

Consequence: learning from how i developed a relationship with the guru  - within existing as an energy experience  that i believed was real when it is in fact existent within a relationship that is coming from a MIND simulated version of reality as the physical body and this physical existence.

Facing the consequence and breathing through it as i stand and change and birth me here as who i am

Intoducing The Quantum Mind

Introducing The Quantum Mind ( System) Systemization

Backchat
'There must be some magical feeling being with the Guru' 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the design of/as

'fear of survival - as positive energy - as power'

 exist within a backchat of

'there must be some magical feeling being with the guru' 
taking the thoughts and imagination further and having internal conversations within my mind
using words separate from me
having energetic definitions

seeing through my mind's eyes 
seeing the guru as more than  me

fearing to be the ego
desiring to be self-realised

fearing to be powerless
desiring to be powerful

defining myself within power and powerlessness

Through this
I  forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to
define myself within power and powerlessness
where i feel useless and helpless 
needing someone to give me back my power as self
 to make me transcend the mind
 pitying myself 
feeling that i have split myself into 2 
the self and the mind
and does not know what to do
uncertain about my future
 doubting if i can ever be the self again


believing that i have done so many things in this life and the past life
believing i will not be able to transcend the mind myself
powerless

uncertain about WHO I AM

believing that i do not know what to do to transcend the MIND
believing what i heared the guru said
 that he will give the devotees liberation
if the devotees will do what he instructed us - the 'devotees' to do
doing what he said 
which is to

meditate daily
do yoga exercises daily
follow the 16 points
go to dharmacakra weekly
eating sentient food (vegetarian food without onion, garlic, mushroom etc.)
yama and niyama
doing or yoga postures daily
do social service etc.

believing that because he can do these feats:

he can raise a boy from death to life and i can't
he can transform carnivorous food into vegetarian food  and i can't
he can make the stick smell like flowers and i don't
he knows my future and i don't

believing that he can take my 'samaskara or karma' 
believing he is the only one that can save me from my  'bad deeds'
believing that he can give me liberation from bondage

so equated his name to 
liberation from the ego and eternal life

'surrendered unto his feet'
believing it is an act of 'unconditional love'
not realizing what's driving me 
was my FEAR of my own mind and not being able to control
 the thoughts, reactions, backchats etc.

where within this i am suppressing myself
and my expression
making myself inferior and powerless
all because of FEAR of taking self-responsibility for 
me as the mind 
as who i have become

 possessed by FEAR of myself 
i took refuge and became a devotee of a guru
anandamurti
giving up on my self 

as the evil me
within my mind as the simulated version of me
doubting, fearing, inferior, powerless, giving up
 self suppressing me, blaming, justifying etc.

Through this,

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to
doubt myself 
seeing myself as powerless, useless and helpless

Through this

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to
form a relationship with fear of my mind
making myself less than the mind
not realizing i defined myself into existence within the mind
then i made it real by living my limited definitions of myself
 feeling useless, powerless and helpless
so i will not take self-responsibility
the evil me giving up on me

so i can just surrender to the guru and not have to self-forgive 
and face that which i accepted and allowed in this world
and correct myself in my living

blaming the physical for creating the guru as superior and me as inferior
within spite

Through this 
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself
 to give up on myself by surrendering to the guru
believing that that is an act of unconditional love
not seeing and realising that it is 
self-suppression

Through this
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself 
to suppress who i am in my expression 
by surrendering to the guru
making the excuse that i have to survive 
and get liberation - so i need to surrender to the guru 
justifying that by saying
'i need to be whole - so i have to see the guru - get his blessing as he will make me whole'

seeing through my mind's eyes 
defining wholeness and power within a polarity point
of powerlessness and power

rather than wholeness as balance 
where i take self-responsibility for all parts of me
looking at how i created my mind as 'my within' 
and 'my without' as this world system

writing,  self-forgiving, correcting and birthing myself here 
as who i am 

not seeing and realising that who i am is here
in every moment of breath
able to take self-responsibility 
able to direct myself
able to look at how i created my mind
able to self-forgive
able to be humble and look at the evilness of me
able to be patient with myself
and lift myself up everytime i fall
able to start all over again
able to look at my life, the events, the time line, the memories, the past 
and bring it back here to see what i have accepted and allowed 
in 'my within' as the mind
and 'my without' as this world system
and correct myself 

able to trust me
able to love myself unconditionally
able to be intimate with/as myself
able to birth myself as LIFE
able to be with the pulse of my heart
able to be the breath here
able to assist in establishing a world that truly honors life based on equality

So, i commit myself to
when and as i see myself 
having a backchat or internal conversation
about anandamurti or any guru or anyone who i see as more than me - i stop - i breathe

I realise that the phsyical/body of the guru is made up of atoms and my body/physical is made up of atoms
so we are equal to/as all that is here
 as the atoms on this earth
each one expressing oneself 

I commit myself to assist myself to 
accept and allow me to bring myself here in the physical
and stay with the pulse of my heart

I assist myself to instead of fearing others 
and giving them value more than life
seeing them through my mind's eyes as 'powerful'
seeing me as powerless
and within a concept of wholeness or balance within polarity
make myself powerful 
believing that by seeing the guru and surrendering to him/his perceived power
i will also gain power over my mind
believing he will magically remove my 'samaskara or karma'

I commit myself to assist myself to 
see through my physical mind's eyes 
to birth me here within
wholeness or balance as physical balance


and assist myself to accept and allow me 
to glide into the depths of my physical body
as i breathe in, pause, breathe out, pause
and assist myself to accept and allow me 
to be intimate with my expression
evolving that expression into physical living
expressing me here as who i am 

I commit myself to through writing,  self-forgiveness and self correction 
in every moment birth myself here 
as who i am 

===

The Mathematics of Giving Positive and Negative Mind Values
Vs
Giving values equal to Life

I realise i gave the guru value more than Life
as i fear being powerless i desire someone who has power
and so believing he has power

 'gave the following
mind values to
the Guru and Myself'


'Guru = can bring boy from death to life
Guru = can transform carnivorous food into vegetarian food
Guru = can remove my samaskara or karma
Guru = can make a stick smell like flowers 
Guru = knows my future
etc.

Guru = Powerful = +100

June = cannot bring boy from death to life
June = cannot transform carnivorous food into vegetarian food
Guru = cannot remove samaskara or karma 
June = cannot make stick smell like flowers
June = does not know the future
etc.

June = Powerless = -100' 

Not realizing the mind values i am giving are NOT REAL
 as i made them up within my mind

from a starting point of FEAR

Fear of being powerless, useless and helpless and so imagined and thought of the Guru as powerful

Then, i lived the illusion 
as i as who i have become - as an animated illusion 
Lived in 'Bliss' within my mind

blind to what is really happening in
 this world
and the poverty and the suffering that is here
trying to do charity
believing that by giving some 'unfortunate' people
this world will change
not realizing that as i do charity
i use the engine of the system
so still supports the system of abuse in this world of inequality

 as the evil me  existing 
in an alternate reality within my mind
where only Bliss exist
 comfortable and happy
within my mind
not assisting in establishing a world that truly honors life based on equality

Not realizing 

that my body/physical consists of  atoms
and the Guru's body/physical consists of atoms

Guru's body/physical =  consists of atoms
June's body/physical = consists of atoms

and essentially we are equal

Guru = Life
June = Life

So, we have to live as equals

as all Life