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Sunday, February 17, 2013

Guru Mathematics 8 : Warm Feeling On Chest Part 6 Day 240 Behavior

 
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My Food and Nutrition Blog Site:
http://foodandnutritionjunejourneytolife.blogspot.com/
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STORE
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The Mathematics of Life
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The Guru Mathematics
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This is a continuation of Part 7
I will highlight the dimension i am working on in this blog with the color pink 



Topic: Self-forgiving me and correcting me in my living application standing equal with the mind - realizing i can only change/stop that which i am equal to/as - stopping mind participation to birth me here as equal to/as all Life

Specific Point: 'My Mind Relationship with the Guru'

What is Self-forgiveness?



Why am i using Mathematics?
I am using mathematical symbols to illustrate how i gave mind values instead of giving  real values as the value of every manifestation as equal to the value that is Life 

The Dimensions of the Mind:

Fear: Fear of not being able to go to India and see the guru


Conscious

Thought : picture of me standing with wide eyes listening to the monk telling me i have to see Baba (the guru)

Imagination: 'me feeling something different/feeling blissful when i see him'

Reaction: Wonder

Subconscious
Backchat: 'there must be some magical feeling being with the guru'

Unconscious
Body Movement: upper part of chest feeling warm. eyes opening wide

Consequence: learning from how i developed a relationship with the guru  - within existing as an energy experience  that i believed was real when it is in fact existent within a relationship that is coming from a MIND simulated version of reality of the physical body and this physical existence.
Facing the consequence and breathing through it as i stand and change and birth me here as who i am

Intoducing The Quantum Mind

Introducing The Quantum Mind ( System) Systemization

Body Movement
upper part of chest feeling warm. eyes opening wide

Self-forgiveness:
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to particiopate in the design of/as
'fear of survival - as body movement'

fear not having body movement
that gives me a positive energy experience
 as in -the upper part of my chest feeling warm
and my eyes opening wide

believing that when i have a warm feeling in my upper chest
and my eyes are opening wide
i am expressing who i am as that happy self 
that is alive
believing that the self expresses in a positive way
believing that when i am happy 
i exist and live life
believing that for someone to live life
one has to be able to move ones body/physical
to express oneself within wonder and excitement
and other positive energy experiences 
having wide eyes, warm feeling in the chest, smile etc.

believing that when i am sad
i retreat into a corner and cry 
believing that that is the ego 
believing the ego expresses in a negative way

within this, doubting who i am
believing that i am split into 2
 the ego as the sad me
experiencing negative energy experiences
and the self as the happy me 
experiencing positive energy experiences
connecting an expressionless face 
to a picture of DB,  our house help when i was young
(memory of when i was 5-7 yrs old)
as he does not react in happiness or sadness
when my mom shouts at him
connecting an expressionless face to 
inferiority, poverty and illiteracy

and within that fear of being expressionless
desiring to widen my eyes and feel warm on my upper chest
to have a positive energy experience

connecting this to my grandmother, my mom
characters in movies and on tv etc.
who react in excitement 
when anticipating a future positive energy experience

instead of realizing that 
i am using the mind to manipulate the body/physical
to move in a certain way - within body movements

manipulating the body to justify my desire to go and see the guru
based from a belief that i will have a positive energy experience
when i do that


as the evil me 
 resourcing the body/physical 
transforming nutrients to energy  
transforming natural energy to unnatural energy
for the mind to exist

Through this,
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to 
doubt who i am
within the belief that 
i am split into 2

the sad me as the ego 
as the one 
not having positive energy experience/ having negative energy experience
 
the one whose eyes are not opening wide
from 'wonder' or 'excitement'
but having droopy eyes and crying

based from 
a past experience of being  
powerless, useless and helpless

and the good me
as the one having a positive energy experience
the one whose eyes are opening wide 
 the one having a warm feeling on the upper chest
 
 blaming the physical for 
having positive and negative movements

believing gurus move in a special way and 
believing devotees move in a normal way

believing gurus talk in a special way
and devotees talk in a normal way

believing that gurus have power
and 'normal people ' are powerless

using my mind
to manipulate the body 

for my eyes to open wide
to have a warm feeling on my chest
 to  justify my desire 
to see the guru

making that imagination real/physical
believing that if i experience it
in my body
it is real

not seeing and realizing that
i am the one giving positive and negative values 
to humans/people
and their body movements
 creating  a positive or a negative energy experience 
within myself
 to them

not seeing and realizing that
i am the one using the mind 
to manipulate my body
to justify my desire
to see the guru 

Through this, 
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to
blame the physical 
for having body movements
to express positive and negative energy experiences

believing that it is natural for the eyes to widen 
when there's some wonderful and exciting things
happening in the future

believing it is natural for the upper chest to feel warm
when there's some wonderful and exciting things happening in the future

with the excuse that i have to survive 
within positive body movements

not seeing and realizing that 
it is me using my mind 
to manipulate the  eyes to open wide
and the upper chest to feel warm
in order for me to have a positive energy experience
Through this,
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to
have the excuse that  i have to survive 
within positive body movements
believing that the self
can express itself 
by being happy and acting it out

justifying that by saying 'i have to be whole'

not realizing that
i am using the mind to manipulate the body 
to open my eyes wide 
and to feel warm on my upper chest
to justify my desire to see someone 
who i gave a positive value to

and did not even ask myself these questions:


1. 'Do i have a mind beingness relationship
and a physical beingness relationship?
2. Is my beingness the mediator between the mind and the physical?
3. Is there some part of my beingness that was programmed within these relationships?
4. Is this my physical body patterning?
5. Are those physical behaviours a general presence of myself 
that i physically resonate?
6. Is this standing of who i am also contributed by 
those beingness energy relationships in my mind/consciousness
that keeps me in my presence
 in my physical behavior
within a very certain way of being/way of behaving?
7. Is there some parts of my beingess that were deliberately programmed
into personality systems
to keep me as separate from my beingness 
as possible?'


Quantum Mind Self Awareness 46



Through this,
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to
justify this excuse by saying ' i have to be whole'
believing that if i use the mind 
to manipulate the eyes to open wide
and to manipulate the upper chest to feel warm  
to physically experience a feeling 
that i imagined in my mind
i am becoming 'whole' 
or happy as self

not seeing and realizing that 
i am here as breath in every moment
 standing as my mind
standing as the body/physical
writing, self-forgiving and correcting my living application
developing an equal and one relationship with the body/physical
to move the body/physical
as an expression of who i am here in the physical
and birthing myself here
as who i am

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Self -Correction Script
I commit myself to when and as i see myself 
fearing not being able to open my eyes wide 
fearing not having a warm feeling on my chest
to have a positive energy experience
i stop - i breathe 

I realized that i am giving a positive value to 
eyes opening wide 
and feeling warm on my upper chest  

connecting eyes opening wide
and feeling warm on my upper chest
to an experience of self 

which does not compute
as i am here in every moment as breath
and can move the body 
without using the mind
to manipulate it 
to move in a certain way to justify my desire

I also realized that i have connected this to
pictures and movies i see which has actors and actresses 
reacting that way when excited
and seeing my mom, my grandmother, family relatives etc.
acting that way when excited 
and when they were expecting a positive event in the future 

I realize that i am giving a negative value to my eyes not opening wide 
and giving a negative value to not having a warm feeling on my upper chest
connecting an expressionless face to 
a negative experience in the past 

seeing a male house help in my house, DB
when i was young
who was illiterate, poor and having a job that is paid a lot less than other jobs

seeing him not reacting to my mom's anger 
as something i want for myself but because of 
seeing him as having very little money and being very poor
i saw him as inferior 
and so connecting an expressionless/not moving face or body
to inferiority
using fuzzy logic

fearing being poor, illiterate and expressionless
fearing to experience the abuse they experience in the hands of their employers
being shouted at, having no private bedroom
having no right to express oneself

so desiring to express through using the mind to 
manipulate the eyes to open wide 
and to feel warm on the upper chest
to justify my desire to see the guru
to have a positive energy experience

I change my starting point and stabilize me as breath 
and realize that who i am is here
and delete the pictures, desires  etc. 
standing  within myself
 stop the illusion of me as energy and realize 
that who i am what i am and how i am
as substance/equality and oneness remains here/is here
and had always been here

I commit myself to when and as i see myself 
doubting and being uncertain about who i am
within opening my eyes wide - believing it is me as self
and not opening my eyes wide - believing it is me as the ego
I stop - i breathe

Realization:
I equated eyes opening wide to being happy and equated being happy to self


I  stabilize me as breath and assist me to accept and allow me to see/realize 
that i am here as breath in every moment. I clap 2x and stomp my feet
to wake myself up.


I commit myself to when and as i see myself doubting and being uncertain about who i am
within having a warm feeling on my upper chest - believing it is as self 
and not having a warm feeling on my upper chest - believing it is the ego 
i stop - i breathe 

Realization:
I equated warm feeling on my upper chest to being happy  and equated being happy to being the self
I equated no warm feeling on my upper chest to being unhappy and equated being unhappy to being the ego

I assist myself to stabilize me as breath and realize who i am is here in every moment

I commit myself to when and as i see myself
blaming the physical for having body/physical movements 
that express positive and negative energy experiences
i stop - i breathe 



Realization:
It is me that has given positive value to eyes opening wide and chest feeling warm
so it is my self-responsibility to stop this

I assist myself to realize that these were mind values that are not real
as i made them up within my mind

and it is to develop an equal and one relationship with the body/physical and move as an expression of who i am, what i am and how i am as equal to all that is here that is the key.

I commit myself to when and as i see myself  
having the excuse that i have to survive
as positive body movements
I stop - i breathe 

Realization:
My desire for a positive energy experience 
comes from fear of a negative energy experience

My desire to survive comes from fear of survival

I assist myself to face my fears 
to through writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective application 
birth myself here as a self-responsible human

I commit myself to when and as i see myself 
justifying my excuse by saying ' i need to be whole'
using the mind to manipulate body/physical movements 
to justify my desires 
i stop- i breathe

Realization: 
I have given a positive value to being 'whole' within balance in polarity 
from an awareness of separation 
within conflict and friction 
as i perceived a split in my beingness when i fear surviving
                                                             in a world of inequality

It is to instead realize that i can be whole
 without separating from the source
through conflict and friction

realizing that the key is to stop me as an illusion of consciousness
and realize  that who i am, what i am and how i am remains/is here 
and had always been here
It is to realize that i need to assist in establishing a world that truly honors life 
based on equality 
to support myself to not fear surviving in this world 
and within that desire eternal life in the hereafter

fearing  survival in this physical existence
so desires to have a comfortable existence in the hereafter 

creating an idea that the guru will give me  liberation
so i can run away from taking self-responsibility 
to creating a world that truly honors life based on equality 
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The Mathematics of Giving Positive and Negative Mind Values
Vs
Giving Values equal to Life

I realized i have given positive or  negative values to the following  

'as in

wide eyes = seeing the guru in the future = happiness = positive energy experience = +100
warm feeling on the chest = seeing the guru in the future = happiness = positive energy experience = +100


happiness = self = +1000

sadness = ego = -1000

Expressionless face ( DB ) = sadness = inferiority = poverty = illiteracy= death of personality = not surviving = not existing = -100
Face that is full of expression (eyes widening and feeling warm on upper chest - visible with hands on top of heart area) = AR (mother) and  VS (grandmother) = happiness = superiority = literacy = life of personality = surviving = existing = +100

inequality = fear of survival = sadness = death of personality = - 100'

Not realizing that these values are not real
as i made them up in my mind
and it is to realize that who i am is here 
and it is to develop an equal and one relationship with the body/physical 
and move as an expression of who i am

and to assist in establishing a world that truly honors life
to be able to see that we an survive without needing to fear.

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