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Friday, August 17, 2012

Miracles: Stepping Out of The 'Tantrik Yogi' Character: SC Part 2 Day 125 Enlightenment


Me As The 'Tantrik Yogi' Character

This Blog is A continuation of These Blogs: 

Self Commitment Statements: 
Part 2

I commit myself to when and as i see myself 'fearing difficulty, wanting the easy way out' - i stop - i breathe. I realize that this came from me believing that the guru is more than me and me less than myself - where instead of me taking time to look at my points -  using self-forgiveness to deconstruct the patterns  that i have accepted as my reality - as who i have become as the mind character that is an alternate version of me and committing to correct myself to reconstruct myself for what is best for all - i chose what i believed as the 'easy way out' - which is 'doing what the guru tells me to do' - believing 'i can get liberation' - not realizing that there is consequence - and one day - which is obviously at this very moment - i will have to walk back and correct myself - so to not give in to 'quick fixes' - rather, assist me to realize i am here as breath in every moment - and unconditionally assist myself to - no matter what it takes - birth me here as life - as i am alone in this process. I move me.

I commit myself to when and as i see myself  defining myself within the  'i fear i cannot assist myself to stop the mind' character - i stop - i breathe. I realize that  i ensured the survival and evolution of this character through developing the  other characters as the 'i don't know, the guru knows', 'i surrender to the guru', 'i want a miracle', 'i am impatient so i want things fast', 'the guru is more than me', 'i am less than the guru',  'the guru knows everything', 'i fear pain', 'i fear taking responsibility', 'let someone else suffer the consequence to my action', ' there is a way out', 'the guru is special', 'i cannot do it', 'i am just human', 'this is too overwhelming', 'i surrender myself to the guru', 'i will do whatever you say', 'i hope the guru will give me liberation', 'i fear i will not get liberation' etc. I assist myself to realize i can direct myself to look at my thoughts, backchats, reactions and body movements and see what i accept and allow in every moment. and i can also decide to take self-responsibility to stop the mind -  to only accept and allow that which is best for all life. I move me. I wake myself up physically. i stomp my feet.. I am here as the flesh - as the blood - as the physical - equal to all that exist.  

I commit myself to when and as i see myself 'fearing not being enlightened, desiring to be enlightened' - i stop - i breathe. i realise that this is me seeking the 'moreness of me' which is me defining myself within 'positive and negative' energy experiences - where i desire positive energy experiences believing that enlightenment will make me whole - coming from a 'negative energy experience' of 'not being whole' - 'desiring to feel good' - desiring to experience 'bliss' - coming from a 'negative energy experience' of 'not feeling good about myself'. I assist myself to realize i am not defined by energetic experiences. I am here as breath in every moment.

I commit myself to when and as i see myself manipulating myself to manifest my belief - that i will unite with 'supreme consciousness'  - i stop - i breathe. I realise that i created this 'desire to unite with the supreme consciousness' within/as my mind - in an alternate reality as a PERSON-AL-ternate real-ITY - as an alternate version of me - where i was seeking the 'moreness of me' within positive energy experiences as 'bliss' - which is me programming myself to define it as a 'valuable experience' - and then doing what needs to be done to get it/experience it within and as my mind -within self- manipulation - driven and directed by 'fear that i will not be able to stop my mind' - not realizing i am here as breath in every moment - i only have to forgive myself and apply/correct me - to stand as who i am as life - then move me and direct me - as i am doing now - looking at my points and stepping out of this character which i have given life for 29 years - to so one day - which is right at this moment - direct myself to correct myself  and step out of this character - to stand as who i am - equal to all that exist - having equal power - realizing that i really do not need to manipulate myself from the starting point of fear - i only have to assist myself to stand as who i am - self-directive - writning myself to freedom and then letting go of my fear and letting go of my desire to unite with an entity which i made up within and as my mind, the 'supreme consciousness'- perceived separate from me - which was just a definition i was given by my guru - which i believed to be real - by virtue of him being the 'guru' - as i was mesmerized by the tone of his voice, the slow smooth movements he made, the amount of knowledge and information he had of spirituality and most of all, his miracles - which i had given a positive value - not realizing that miracles does not contribute to what is best for all life - and that one may do things that is beyond natural laws - but one is still bound by consequence - as all will be born and will die - he is equal to all that exist - and i am equal to all that exist - and that we are made from the same substance all are made of .

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create feelings like bliss and happiness to hide from my fear of taking responsibility. 

From: Matti Freeman's Blog:

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