The Body: Sex and Physical Intimacy SF SCS 1: Day 136 'Happiness' Character : Kissing Tenderly, Touching Softly Skin to Skin Naked

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   Desiring Happiness Desiring Relationships/Sex and Fear of Being Intimate with/as Myself Which Is Fear  of Having An Intimate Relationship with/as Self
    
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3. This Blog is a Continuation of :

http://junejourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/08/happiness-connected-to-eternal-life-day.html

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Topic:

I am looking at the word 'Happiness' and the 'desire for  physical intimacy/sex so i can be happy ' realizing that this comes from 'fear of looking at who i am as equal to/as my body' which is fear of having an intimate relationship with/as Self

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The Subconscious Mind: Backchat

Self-forgiveness for Desire To Have Sex To be Happy

'Fear of Looking at Who i am As Equal to/as The Physical/Body' Character

1. I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to desire to experience sex- believing sex will give me an ecstatic positive experience not realizing that i am coming from a starting point of 'fear of looking at who i am as equal to/as my body'  - defining myself within 'fear of looking at who i am as equal to/as my body ' character
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I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear looking at who i am as equal to/as my body - believing that there is nothing there but 'flesh and blood' - believing that that is boring - defining me within the 'my body is boring' character - not realizing that the body contains trillions of cells that interact with each other.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that i will be happier when i interact with/have sex with another person i believe i love - fearing being intimate with/as my physical body within touch -  defining myself within the 'happy when i have sex with someone i love' character.

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I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to suppress myself to be intimate with/as myself - desiring to have relationship/boy friend to finally get married and have sex - when i was a teenager, growing up in a 'conservative family culture' - believing it is wrong to be intimate with/as my physical/body - desiring to find the right partner, be in a relationship, get married and have sex - believing it can only be done when i am  married - defining myself within 'marrying the one i love' character

My Backchats:

'that guy looks nice, good, intelligent, reserved, wealthy, perfect, dresses well, clean, intelligent, looks a little naughty but child like'
'His stare tells me he also likes me'
'It must be nice to share intimate moments with him'
'It must be nice to kiss tenderly'
'It must be nice to whisper sweet nothings in each other's ears while we are embracing each other under the blanket'
'It must be nice to softly touch each other's body, naked, slowly caressing each others skin, smelling each other's body, skin to skin, our body movements synchronized to the rhythm of our heart beats, his breath and my breath harmonized, him touching my hair slightly.. hmmm'
'I like him'
'I've got to make this a reality'
'I will get to know him'
'I like for both of  us to get closer'
'I am in love !'

Self-forgiveness for Backchats:

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to imagine how will the relationship with the prospective partner be  and what we will do if ever we end up being together existing as the character that is an alternate version of me with another character within /as my mind

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to use backchat as a method to desire positive energy experiences through attraction with a male who fulfills my idea of a 'perfect sexual partner' - believing that my perfect partner is nice, good, perfect, intelligent, reserved, wealthy, dresses well, clean, looks a little naughty but child-like - defining myself within the 'my perfect man' character

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to use backchat as a method to connect his eyes to a 'stare that i equated with the idea that he likes me' - believing what i see in the romantic movies like 'love story' etc. as real - defining myself within the 'staring - he likes me' character.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to use backchat as a method to give 'whispers  while hugging a male' a positive energy charge - believing it is romantic - judging it as more than me and me less than myself - defining myself within the 'whispers while hugging' character.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from a physical experience as kissing tenderly by giving it a positive value - judging it as more than me and me less than myself - because of the 'ecstatic feeling' i get when being kissed tenderly  - defining myself within the 'i love tender kissing' character-  not realizing this feeling, i created  within/as my mind in an alternate reality that has no real physical existence 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to use backchat as a method to judge 'romantic moments' as more than me and me less than myself -  an experience of me defined within a positive energy experience - defined as an 'ecstatic feeling -  defining myself within the 'romantic moments' character - not realizing moments are moments equal to every moment as me here 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to use backchat as a method to give the words 'sweet nothings' a positive energy charge - believing that these words are romantic words - and judging these words as more than me and me less than myself - defining myself within the 'whispering sweet nothings' character.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to use  backchat as a method to give s 'soft touch' a positive charge - believing that 'soft touch' is more than 'rough touch' - judging 'soft touch' as more than me and 'rough touch' less than me - defining myself within the 'soft touch ' character

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the prospective partner by giving him a positive value, liking him  as the  'perfect man for me' - defining myself within the 'happiness within having a relationship with a perfect male' character.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to desire to  manifest a mind energetic desire to the physical and to animate that mind character that desires physical interaction/sex -defining myself within the ' desire to manifest a relationship for physical interaction/ sex' character - not realizing i am coming from fear of being who i really am - as the real character that is one and equal as who i am as flesh - as blood - equal to all that exist.

I forgive hat i have accepted and allowed myself to manipulate myself to manifest a mind desire for physical interaction/sex - believing that this is me as the real character - planning covertly - without him knowing - step by step how  i can finally have that positive energy experience with this person- defining myself within the 'i got to have you' character .  

 I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to use backchat as a method to desire to experience sex  when i meet an interesting guy that i consider fits my profile of a potential relationship partner.

Body Movements: The Unconscious Mind

Eyes widening
Smiling 

Self-forgiveness for Body Movements Directed by The Mind I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself 'as the eyes' widening to push the physical body to be in a position that express my backchat or what goes on in my head - which is a desire for physical intimacy/sex.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself 'as the facial muscles around the mouth' smiling to push the physical body to be in a position that express my backchat or what goes on in my head - which is a desire for physical intimacy/sex

The Breath:
Holding breath
Not Aware of breath

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to hold my breath when my attention is on the picture of the person i desire to have physical interaction/sex with - as i imagine him within/as my mind.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not be aware of my breath when i imagine a positive experience in the past i had with the person i am attracted to

Reaction
Happiness
Feeling i am 'somewhere out there in heaven'

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that when a man invites me to dinner - it means he likes me -believing that when i like the person -to  in that moment of being alone with him i have a chance of scanning his behavior, his words etc. to determine if he is the one i programmed myself to be in a 'relationship with forever'- as per my mind character's preference of what that mind character will say, look, sound like and do - defining myself within the 'invitation to dinner means he wants to have a relationship with me' character .

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to feel i am 'somewhere out there in heaven' - when i am in love - believing that heaven is a place that is 'more than here' - judging heaven as more than me and me less than myself - defining myself within the 'love is heavenly' character - not realizing i am here as breath in every moment - not realizing  - here is everywhere.

Belief about love:

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that when i imagine a man too often -  that i am in love with this person - not realizing i am creating this in my mind - an alternate reality that is not real - defining myself within the 'imagining him all the time means i love the man' character .

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that when i have this compelling desire to be with a man - that i am in love with this person - not realizing it is me as the mind character driven by my desire fr the 'moreness of me' within experiencing positive energy experiences within physical interaction/sex - defining myself within the 'desires him, got to have him  means i love the man' character - not realizing i am equal to all that exist as i came from the same substance all are made of.

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Self- correction Script:

1. When and as i see myself using backchat/talking in my head - i stop and breathe and to bring me back here and look at what character i am acting out and through writing, self-forgiveness and corrective application correct myself as the breath in every moment to birth me here as my 'within' as the self-aware directive - principled living real physical character that is equal to the physical body and manifest this in my 'without' standing for what is best for all.

I commit myself to assist myself to be self-aware and love myself unconditionally looking at who i have become as the characters i live out within/as my mind and through self-forgiveness and self corrective application breath by breath moment by moment be self intimate with/as my physical body and within that self-awareness and intimacy be intimate with someone as me in an agreement where i manifest who i truly am within and without - in all real relationships here.

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2. To be continued
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