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Thursday, August 16, 2012

Stepping out Of The 'Tantric Yogi' Character : SC :Part 1 Day 124 : The Guru, Surrender and Miracles



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Me As The 'Tantrik Yogi' Character



 Self-commitment Statements:

I commit myself to when and as i see myself 'fearing me' - as who i have become - 'desiring to know who i am' - i stop - i breathe. I realize that who i have become as the mind character -'driven by fear of looking at what i have accepted and allowed' - as the mind - and 'doubting who i am and becoming uncertain of who i am' - i 'fear me' - desiring to know who i am - and instead of looking at how i created this mind character within and as my mind - and birth me here as life - i 'searched for myself' outside of myself - and BELIEVED that 'there must be more than me, that there must be more than me as here' - searching for the 'moreness of me' and separating myself from/as who i am - as the flesh - as the blood - as the physical/substance - equal to all that exist. I bring me back here as the breath and see that- I am here - to only accept and allow that which is what is best for all life.



I commit myself to delete the 'i want to know who i am' character which shows up also as the 'i want to understand who i am' character - as the desire to 'want to know who i am' and as the   'wanting to understand who i am' - as pictures etc within and as myself - and let go of the separation within and as myself - as desire, as pictures within and as myself - and bring myself back here - standing with the physical as the breath in every moment.

i commit myself to when and as i see myself fearing not existing eternally - i  stop - i breathe. I realize that this 'fear' is created by me - within and as my mind - an alternate reality that is not real - i bring myself back here and see who i am as the breath in every moment - and realize that who i am is not what i defined myself as - and assist myself to see/realize and understand that when I stop my mind, I remain.

I commit myself to delete the 'i fear not existing eternally' character - stopping the desire as pictures within and as my mind - letting go of the separation as desires, as pictures etc. - within and as my mind - and bring myself back here - as who i am as - as the substance/physical - equal to all that exist. I remain.

I commit myself to when and as i see myself 'wanting to be perfect' - i stop - i breathe. I realize that i have to assist me to see that this  comes from the starting point of  fear , where i 'fear being imperfect' and within this fear - 'desire to be perfect '- so to have to look at who i have become - which i defined as imperfect - within and as my mind - and to look at how i created this character - and birth me here - using self-forgiveness and self-corrective application. i stomp my feet and say, 'I am here'.

I commit myself to delete the 'i want to be perfect' character - as the presence of character as memory, as pictures, as desires etc. within and as my mind - and to use self-forgiveness and self-corrective application for  separating myself from all life - to stand here - equal to all that exist as the physical/substance - as the breath in every moment.

I commit myself to when and as i see myself giving up - and not  taking self-responsibility for myself - i stop - i breathe. i realize that i have to assist me to be patient - and look at all points, all patterns that created me - as the mind character - by accepting and allowing fears, desires etc. to exist within and as myself - so to stop participating - and only accept and allow that which is best for all life. I let go of the separation within and as myself. I bring myself back here - as the breath in every moment.

I commit myself to when and as i see myself - 'surrendering to a guru' - because i believe 'i do not know who i am' - believing that the 'guru knows' - so 'surrendering my power to him' - 'giving up on myself' and 'giving my power to someone' who i defined as more than me -  i stop - i breathe. i realize that i created this within and as my mind - not realizing the guru is equal to who i am - equal to all that exist - as the guru came from the same substance i came from - as all came from - not wanting to look at who i have become as the mind character - my conscious thoughts, backchats and body movements directed by the mind - abdicating my self-responsibility - to instead use self-forgiveness and self-corrective application to birth me here as life - and love myself unconditionally - assist me to stand for who i am - as self-trust - self -directive and self-responsible . I bring myself back here. i stomp my feet . I am here.- as the breath in every moment..

I commit myself to when and as i see myself 'wanting a miracle' - i stop - i breathe. i realize that this 'desire' comes from 'fear of difficulty' so 'wanting the easy way out' - within a belief that guru as AM is beyond physical laws and consequence - not realizing that i am equal to the guru -as i am equal to all life- and assist myself to realize that within this equal and one standing as life - no one is special - nor beyond physical laws and consequence - and that specialness will mean acceptance and allowance of inequality - which is contrary to the principle of/as life. I bring myself back here - as the breath. 

I commit myself to when and as i see myself judging the guru as more than me - where i believe that 'i do not know everything about life' and the 'guru knows' - i stop - i breathe. i realize that this comes from the starting point of 'fear of taking self-responsibility for who i have become' - to instead of  judging the guru as more than me and me less than myself - i assist myself to see/realize and understand that i am equal to all that exist - equal to the guru - as all came from the same substance all are made of - and see that this came from comparing myself to the guru - and believing i am less than the guru - judging him as more than me because he talks about the 'supreme entity' that i do not know of -  perceiving myself separate from knowledge and information defined within 'knowing and not knowing' - not considering the fact that inequality is a point of self-forgiveness - and the 'fear of not knowing' defined within knowledge and information separate from who one is - is a point of self-forgiveness - for accepting and allowing mind participation in separation of/as life/ substance. I correct myself  - to  commit myself to correct myself breath by breath - moment by moment. I  bring myself back here.

To be continued in Part 2.


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