21 Days Breathing: Solution Blueprint : Food, Plantain, Blogs and The Body JTL Day 151 Sept 11, 2012 21 Days Breathing Part 10 Day 8

My Animal Blogs:

 

About Writing/Blogging

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Store

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SELF-FORGIVENESS

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References:

21 Days Breathing

Daily Blogs

http://juneroca.com/my-process/the-21-days-breathing/

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Solution Blueprint Part 1

http://junejourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/09/21-days-breathing-solution-blueprint1.html

Solution Bleprint 2

http://junejourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/09/solution-blueprint-raw-food-shower.html

Solution Blueprint
'Late' Character

Routine
Sept 11, 2012

To Do Breath by Breath

/Call school of Nutrition
/Write Yesterday's Routine
/Shower
/Stretching  postures - with breath here
/Massage self -with breath here - as i  massage my body
/Delete Redefining Group - 10 each
xMake additional cheesecakes * decided not to as i see the commonsense of doing it the day after i deliver as i still have enough cheesecakes to deliver for this week

/Blog * did 2 Blogs :
The Story of Nature, Siopao, Chinese Noodles, the Elephant
http://junejourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/09/food-siopao-chinese-noodles-nature-and.html
Solution Blueprint2 'Late' Character Sept 10, 2012
http://junejourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/09/solution-blueprint-raw-food-shower.html
/Assignment* corrected Part 1 and 2 emailed
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Readings:
Read Journey to Life Blogs:
/Heaven's
http://heavensjourneytolife.blogspot.com/
/Creations
http://creationsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/
xEarth
http://earthsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/
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Interview Listened To:
/Listen to Quantum Mind Part 5
http://eqafe.com/i/jroca-quantum-mind-self-awareness-step-6
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Vegetarian Class For This Month
xMake Poster for Vegetarian Class
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Video
/JTL Vlog *Done Updated
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House

/Sweep The Floor
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Food
Did not eat out
/Food I made and ate at home:
Half a plantain cooked
/3 raw cinnamon raisin bread 2/12 by 2 inches with raisins
/ *Raw Beet Coconut Thai Soup 1/4 c Dehydrated to warm a bit

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***I started doing the self-forgiveness for the 'late' character points i saw today - but is not finished yet.
The self-forgiveness is about 'fear of being late and wanting to be early'.

* I started the day without a list - did the to do list by midday - that was a bit of a challenge
* Correcting Myself as I Go

'The MANTRA': Initiation and Convincing Others To Get A Mantra SF and SC The 'Tantrik Yogi' Character Part 5 Day 127

Life Tools

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Self-forgiveness

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Redefining 'I Am That'  

 http://junejourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/08/redefining-statement-i-am-that-day-120.html

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About Writing/Blogging

Me As The 'Tantrik Yogi' Character

Mantra

This Blog is A continuation of These Blogs: 

Who Am I? The 'Tantrik Yogi' Character 

Self-correction SC: Stepping out of The 'Tantrik Yogi' Character Part 1

Miracles: Stepping Out of The 'Tantrik yogi' character part 2 

The Secret Mantra: Stepping out of The 'Tantrik Yogi' Character Part 3 
The Mantra: Initiation: SF abd SC: The 'Tantrik Yogi' Character Part 4

Self-Correction: Self-Commitment

I commit myself to when and as i see myself separating myself from the word 'mantra' by giving it a 'positive or negative' value - i stop - i breathe. I realise that the word 'mantra' is equal to/as all words - as all words are symbols. which we give meaning to/as - to express who we are - so i assist myself to stand clear within and as myself before i speak the word.

I commit myself to when and as i see myself  charging the word mantra with a positive value - i stop - i breathe. i realize that i have to assist myself to speak this word without  any charge - seeing the word as it is - standing clear within/as myself before i speak or write the word.

I commit myself to when and as i see myself charging the word mantra with a negative value - i stop - i breathe. i realise that i have to assist myself to speak this word without any charge - seeing the word as it is - standing clear within and as myself before i speak or write the word.

Self-forgiveness Statements and More Self-commitment Statements

Self-forgiveness : Me Getting the Mantra Through Initiation

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to  desire to get my own 'mantra' and become so  'excited before initiation' - believing that who i am will 'change for the better' when i have my 'own mantra' - as i can achieve samadhi or  union with the 'supreme consciousness' when i meditate or repeat the mantra i will be given - seeking the 'moreness of me' within having a 'mantra' - not seeing or realizing that i am here as the breath in every moment - and that i am equal to all that exist - as i came from the same substance all are made of . I am here.

Self-correction: Self-commitment:

 I commit myself to when and as i see myself believing that who i am will change when i get/meditate/repeat a mantra or any word - believing through the use of the word  i will achieve 'samadhi' or 'union with the supreme' - i stop - i breathe. I realise that the mantra is just a word - so i assist myself to stand equal with the word - and redefine the word by giving it a meaning where i can use the word as an expression who i am.

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Self-forgiveness: Me Getting Others To Get a Mantra

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that others have to get their own mantra -  talking to them and making them interested in getting their 'own mantra' - believing that 'they too should experience the bliss' so that 'they too will be blissful' - when they repeat the mantra within/as their mind - not seeing/ realizing and understanding that i am leading these people to participate in their mind - which in the bigger picture is - consuming substance/physical/body flesh to transform the nutrients of the body into energy so that we can all abuse our body and the physical - which is not what is best for all.

Self-correction: Self-commmitment:

I commit myself to when and as i see myself believing that others have to get their own mantra - so they can 'experience bliss like me' - i stop - i breathe. I realize that i am coming from 'fear of not living eternally' -or 'fear of not existing' - so desiring to have a mantra - to have a  positive energy experience - believing the mantra can expand my mind so much that i will unite with the 'supreme consciousness' -  which i considered so big - defining myself within small and big space  - so believing that the combined effort of everyone to 'make the space bigger in our mind' - will make us all 'unite to that big space which contains everything' - which i believed to be the space of 'supreme consciousness- so assisting myself to realize that the space is equal to who i am - i am creating a consequence for myself  - to in remaining to be the 'mantra' character - and wanting others to be 'mantra' characters - so we will all remain as animated illusions  -not seeing /realizing and understanding that i am leading these people to participate in their mind - an alternate reality which has no real physical existence to eventually consume the body/substance to transform into energy just so i can have an energetic experience. I bring myself back to the physical - assist myself to physically wake myself up by stomping my feet and say, 'i am here'. 'I am not going within my mind for an energetic expeirience'.

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The 'SECRET MANTRA' : Stepping Out of The 'Tantrik Yogi' Character Part 3 Day 126

Life Tools

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Self-forgiveness

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Redefining 'I Am That'  

 http://junejourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/08/redefining-statement-i-am-that-day-120.html

'I Am That' Connected To 'I Am Not That'

http://junejourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/08/i-am-that-connected-to-words-i-am-not.html

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About Writing/Blogging

Me As The 'Tantrik Yogi' Character

This Blog is A continuation of These Blogs: 

Who Am I? The 'Tantrik Yogi' Character 

Stepping out of The 'Tantrik Yogi' Character Part 1

Stepping Out of The 'Tantrik yogi' character part 2

I am doing self-forgiveness and self-commitments to correct myself for what i have accepted and allowed as thoughts, beliefs, definitions etc. within and as mind to birth myself as life - equal to all that exist.

 

Self-forgiveness Statements:

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the mantra is charged with spiritual energy by the guru - defined within the 'mantra' character - believing that repeating the sanskrit  word 'hamsa' which i sounded as  'hang so' within and as my mind -  will 'expand my mind' to one day unite with 'supreme consciousness' - perceiving 'consciousness' as more than me and me less than myself - not realizing that 'CONsciousness' is the presence of character as memory - and so defining myself as the 'hang so' character - giving my power to this sanskrit word with 2 syllables - which i defined as special - not realizing that i am charging these words with a positive value -perceiving myself separate from these words - believing the mantra 'hang so' is special - where i believed it has the power to expand my mind- defined within the 'words have power' character to later unite with the 'supreme consciousness' - to attain liberation from bondage of the ego - an illusion i lived - meditating on the words 'hang so' - synchronizing the sound of these words with/as my breath - where as i breath in - i hear 'hang' within/as my mind and as i breath out - i hear the word 'so' believing that this is my 'ista mantra' - or who i am that i have to realize - within/as my mind - believing that what i say within/as my mind is real - believing that a mantra is a word that can expand my mind - perceiving myself separate from the word mantra - manipulating myself to manifesting the belief that the mantra is special because it is supposed to be only just for me - and was told to promise to keep it secret - where i defined myself within the ' i have a secret and you don't know what it is' character - where i judged the word secret as more than myself and me less than myself - where when i am the only one that knows something and others do not know about it - i am special - defining myself within the 'i am special' character - not realizing this is a word - and i use words as an expression of who i am - so there's nothing special about it -  not realizing I AM HERE - as flesh, as blood - as the substance/physical - equal to all that exist - as we all came from the same substance all are made of .

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear being ordinary - desiring something that is extraordinary - that i believe not many people have - desiring to be 'special' by having a' mantra' - where i believe i will have a constant positive energy experience - which i believe will ensure i will never be down or sad ever - as all i have to do is repeat the 'mantra' in my mind and 'feel good' about myself

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within the words ordinary and extraordinary

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear being 'sad' - desiring 'happiness' and unending 'bliss' - believing that that is the real state of man.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within'sadness and happiness'.


I commit myself to when and as i see myself defining myself within the words ordinary and extraordinary - i stop - i breathe. I realise that they are words that i have to redefine as i have separated myself from/as these words by giving the words a positive and negative value.I stand clear before i speak these words.

I commit myself to when and as i see myself believing that the mantra is charged with 'spiritual energy' by the 'guru' - i stop - i breathe. I realise that the mantra is just a word that i had given a positive value - which i judged as more than myself and me less than myself - where it was seen as more than what it really is - a word - which is a symbol - which when spoken resonates just like any other word - so to assist myself to redefine the  word and use the word as an expression of who i am - as equal to all that exist - expressing who i am within my written words, spoken words and actions.

I commit myself to when and as i see myself  believing that the mantra 'hang so' will 'expand my mind' when i repeat it within/as my mind - i stop- I breathe. I realize that this is a belief that i created within and as my mind - accepting the 'guru's definition of the word. I assist myself to instead of believing - stabilize me as the breath in every moment. I assist myself to be equal with/as the words contraction and expansion. I assist myself to redefine these words. I bring myself back here and stomp my feet to wake myself up physically.

I commit myself to when and as i see myself defining myself within the words 'sadness and happiness' - i stop - i breathe. I assist myself to redefine these words - as i separated myself from/as them by giving them a positive and a negative value. I stand clear before i speak these words.

I commit myself to when and as i see myself believing words have power - i stop and breathe. I realize that words are symbols equal to other words - as all- realizing i use words to express who i am - so to assist myself to redefine words that i separated myself from/as by charging it with a positive or negative value.

I commit myself to when and as i see myself believing that 'mantras' are special - promising/swearing/pledging that i will keep my mantra a secret - believing that secret words are 'special' as not many people have it - i stop - i breathe. I realise that words are words and the word secret is just another word i have to redefine. I assist myself to realize there is nothing special about the word secret.I slow myself down. I wake myself up physically and touch any physical object. I am here.

I commit to stop the presence of the characters supporting the evolution of the mantra character- as fears, desires, as pictures - within and as myself and let go of the separation as desires, as beliefs within and as myself and stand with the physical in every breath - in every moment.

Miracles: Stepping Out of The 'Tantrik Yogi' Character: SC Part 2 Day 125 Enlightenment

Life Tools

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Self-forgiveness

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Redefining 'I Am That'  

 http://junejourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/08/redefining-statement-i-am-that-day-120.html

'I Am That' Connected To 'I Am Not That'

http://junejourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/08/i-am-that-connected-to-words-i-am-not.html

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About Writing/Blogging

Me As The 'Tantrik Yogi' Character

This Blog is A continuation of These Blogs: 

Who Am I? The 'Tantrik Yogi' Character 

Stepping out of The 'Tantrik Yogi' Character Part 1

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Self Commitment Statements: 

Part 2

I commit myself to when and as i see myself 'fearing difficulty, wanting the easy way out' - i stop - i breathe. I realize that this came from me believing that the guru is more than me and me less than myself - where instead of me taking time to look at my points -  using self-forgiveness to deconstruct the patterns  that i have accepted as my reality - as who i have become as the mind character that is an alternate version of me and committing to correct myself to reconstruct myself for what is best for all - i chose what i believed as the 'easy way out' - which is 'doing what the guru tells me to do' - believing 'i can get liberation' - not realizing that there is consequence - and one day - which is obviously at this very moment - i will have to walk back and correct myself - so to not give in to 'quick fixes' - rather, assist me to realize i am here as breath in every moment - and unconditionally assist myself to - no matter what it takes - birth me here as life - as i am alone in this process. I move me.

I commit myself to when and as i see myself  defining myself within the  'i fear i cannot assist myself to stop the mind' character - i stop - i breathe. I realize that  i ensured the survival and evolution of this character through developing the  other characters as the 'i don't know, the guru knows', 'i surrender to the guru', 'i want a miracle', 'i am impatient so i want things fast', 'the guru is more than me', 'i am less than the guru',  'the guru knows everything', 'i fear pain', 'i fear taking responsibility', 'let someone else suffer the consequence to my action', ' there is a way out', 'the guru is special', 'i cannot do it', 'i am just human', 'this is too overwhelming', 'i surrender myself to the guru', 'i will do whatever you say', 'i hope the guru will give me liberation', 'i fear i will not get liberation' etc. I assist myself to realize i can direct myself to look at my thoughts, backchats, reactions and body movements and see what i accept and allow in every moment. and i can also decide to take self-responsibility to stop the mind -  to only accept and allow that which is best for all life. I move me. I wake myself up physically. i stomp my feet.. I am here as the flesh - as the blood - as the physical - equal to all that exist.  

I commit myself to when and as i see myself 'fearing not being enlightened, desiring to be enlightened' - i stop - i breathe. i realise that this is me seeking the 'moreness of me' which is me defining myself within 'positive and negative' energy experiences - where i desire positive energy experiences believing that enlightenment will make me whole - coming from a 'negative energy experience' of 'not being whole' - 'desiring to feel good' - desiring to experience 'bliss' - coming from a 'negative energy experience' of 'not feeling good about myself'. I assist myself to realize i am not defined by energetic experiences. I am here as breath in every moment.

I commit myself to when and as i see myself manipulating myself to manifest my belief - that i will unite with 'supreme consciousness'  - i stop - i breathe. I realise that i created this 'desire to unite with the supreme consciousness' within/as my mind - in an alternate reality as a PERSON-AL-ternate real-ITY - as an alternate version of me - where i was seeking the 'moreness of me' within positive energy experiences as 'bliss' - which is me programming myself to define it as a 'valuable experience' - and then doing what needs to be done to get it/experience it within and as my mind -within self- manipulation - driven and directed by 'fear that i will not be able to stop my mind' - not realizing i am here as breath in every moment - i only have to forgive myself and apply/correct me - to stand as who i am as life - then move me and direct me - as i am doing now - looking at my points and stepping out of this character which i have given life for 29 years - to so one day - which is right at this moment - direct myself to correct myself  and step out of this character - to stand as who i am - equal to all that exist - having equal power - realizing that i really do not need to manipulate myself from the starting point of fear - i only have to assist myself to stand as who i am - self-directive - writning myself to freedom and then letting go of my fear and letting go of my desire to unite with an entity which i made up within and as my mind, the 'supreme consciousness'- perceived separate from me - which was just a definition i was given by my guru - which i believed to be real - by virtue of him being the 'guru' - as i was mesmerized by the tone of his voice, the slow smooth movements he made, the amount of knowledge and information he had of spirituality and most of all, his miracles - which i had given a positive value - not realizing that miracles does not contribute to what is best for all life - and that one may do things that is beyond natural laws - but one is still bound by consequence - as all will be born and will die - he is equal to all that exist - and i am equal to all that exist - and that we are made from the same substance all are made of .

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I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create feelings like bliss and happiness to hide from my fear of taking responsibility. 

From: Matti Freeman's Blog:

 http://www.matterfreeman.com/2012/08/day-89-redefining-positivity-in-service.html

Who Am i? The 'Tantric Yogi' Character Part 1 Day 123 Surrender : Guru: Soham: Mantra: Enlightenment: Pratik: Self-less Service

Life Tools

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Self-forgiveness

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Redefining 'I Am That'  

 http://junejourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/08/redefining-statement-i-am-that-day-120.html

'I Am That' Connected To 'I Am Not That'

http://junejourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/08/i-am-that-connected-to-words-i-am-not.html

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About Writing/Blogging

Me As The 'Tantrik Yogi' Character

Continuation

Stepping out of The 'Tantrik Yogi' Character Part 1

Stepping Out of the 'Tantrik Yogi' Character Part 2

What is Self-forgiveness?
 http://juneroca.com/home/my-process/self-forgiveness/

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within the 'i fear me' character - where i fear myself - as who i have become - as an alternate version of who i am - as the mind characters - within/as my mind - fearing myself as i know i have abdicated responsibility to/as who i am as all life - perceiving myself as more than or less than who i am - based on the participation in positive, neutral and negative energy experiences - which i defined myself within  - perceiving myself as that which is 'split between the ego and the self' - so I became doubtful as the 'i don't know everything about  who i am' character  - believing that the ego is the limited version of me and that self is the unlimited version of me -where i judged the ego as less than myself and the self as more than myself - based on my experiences of how i am - defined within positive, neutral and negative experiences of myself - within a negative experience of 'uncertainty and doubt' believing that 'i do not know everything about who i am' - believing that i have to know who i am as the 'i want to know who i am' character - asking questions as the 'i want to understand who i am' character - asking, 'Who am i?' ''Where am i?' What am i?' - asking Where did i come from?' 'Who created me?' 'What is my purpose in life?' 'When did creation happen?'  'Who's God?' 'Who created God?' 'How did life begin on earth?' 'Why are spiritual texts in conflict with one another if there is just one God?'  'Why are there so many names of Messiahs and Prophets?' 'Why did God hide all this from me'? 'Why am i born with my father and mother and not someone else as my mother or father?' 'Why am i born in the Philippines and not in USA?'  'Why is my skin color brown and not white nor black?' 'Why doesn't anyone know all the answers to these basic questions?' 'Why can't i control myself from lying?' 'Why does some have more  and some less than others?' -   where in that uncertainty  and fear of not existing as the 'i fear not existing' character - i desire answers - as the 'i will not stop until i know who i am' character- searching for the 'moreness of me' as the ' there must be more than me, there must be more than me as here' character - and within this quest - i separated myself from all that exist - by processing all these questions and analyze the answers within/as my mind - in an alternate reality - where i am an alternate version of myself- as the mind character - with no real physical existence - spiting the physical/substance -within blame - not realizing i am here as flesh, as blood- as the physical/substance - equal to all that exist - as all are made from the same substance all are made of - with the excuse that i have to exist as the ' there must be more than me' character to survive in this world - justifying my existence as the mind character in a mind reality - that is not even real - believing if i find the answers to all my questions i will be whole - not realizing I AM HERE - equal to all that exist as i came from the same substance all are made of - so from the starting point of fear, i defined myself within the 'i fear not existing eternally, as the ego, as the imperfect one, so i want to be that perfect one, desiring to live eternally' character - desiring to be perfect -as the 'i want to be perfect' character- believing that i can be perfect without looking at what i have accepted and allowed - without looking at how i created my mind as the conscious, subconscious and unconscious - believing that because it is too much to look at and direct the evil that i have become - as the 'i give up taking responsibility for myself' character - believing the guru knows what this world is about  - defining myself within the 'i don't know, the guru knows' character - and believing that by just doing what he tells me to do or say - as the 'i surrender to the guru' character - i can burn my evil deeds and lies and be liberated from it all - just like a miracle - defining myself within the 'i want a miracle' character - believing i can transcend physical laws and consequence - defining myself within the 'i am impatient so i want things fast ' character - believing that doing it that way will  be easier -  defining myself within the 'i fear difficulty so i want the easy way out' character - believing that gurus are beyond the laws of this physical existence and beyond consequence - defining myself within the 'the guru is more than me' character - believing i cannot do it myself - defining myself within the 'i am less than the guru' character- where i essentially judged the guru as more than me and me less than myself - believing what the guru says - defining myself within the 'the guru knows everything ' character believing that i will be reborn or reincarnated on earth as a plant or as an animal and suffer the consequence of my evil deeds, actions and inaction if i do not have a guru - as the 'i fear pain' character - fearing rebirth - defining myself within the 'i fear taking self-responsibility' character - abdicating my responsibility and letting someone to do it in my behalf - defining myself within the ' let someone else suffer the consequence to my actions' character - so i decided to 'surrender everything to the guru' - believing that surrender is the way out - as the 'there is a way out' character - believing that i incur positive and negative karma in everything i say and do - believing that those who get out of 'action and reaction' or consequence is special - defining myself within the ' the guru is special' character - believing that  i cannot take self-responsibility and correct myself on my own - defining myself within the 'i cannot do it' character -believing that looking at what i have accepted and allowed in this world as my words and deeds is 'too much to handle' because'i am just human' - defining myself within the 'i am just human' character - believing this is too much to do - defining myself within the ' this is too overwhelming' character - so i decided to surrender 'my positive and negative karma to my guru' - defining myself within the 'i surrender myself to the guru' character - and in return i followed everything that he told me to do - defining myself within the 'i will do whatever you say' character because he will liberate me from the ego -  defining myself within the 'i hope the guru will give me liberation' character - and when i don't do what he says - i feel guilty - defined within the 'i fear i will not get liberation' character - and within this 'surrender' is a contract that i will follow the 16 points -  to in return get 'liberation from bondage of the ego' - believing that as i have bliss in meditation i will attain eternal life by  meditating and just dying while meditating attaining moksha - as the 'i am enlightened' character - believing that i will  'unite with the supreme consciousness' to never reincarnate again and have eternal life -defined within the 'i desire eternal life' character - not realizing that that's a belief - manipulating myself to live my beliefs - as if it was real - defined within the ' manipulation' character.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the mantra is charged with spiritual energy by the guru - defined within the 'mantra' character - believing that repeating the sanskrit  word 'hamsa' which i sounded as  'hang so' within and as my mind -  will 'expand my mind' to one day unite with 'supreme consciousness' - perceiving 'consciousness' as more than me and me less than myself - not realizing that 'CONsciousness' is the presence of character as memory - and so defining myself as the 'hang so' character - giving my power to this sanskrit word with 2 syllables - which i defined as special - not realizing that i am charging these words with a positive value -perceiving myself separate from these words - believing the mantra 'hang so' is special - where i believed it has the power to expand my mind- defined within the 'words have power' character to later unite with the 'supreme consciousness' - to attain liberation from bondage of the ego - an illusion i lived - meditating on the words 'hang so' - synchronizing the sound of these words with/as my breath - where as i breath in - i hear 'hang' within/as my mind and as i breath out - i hear the word 'so' believing that this is my 'ista mantra' - or who i am that i have to realize - within/as my mind - believing that what i say within/as my mind is real - believing that a mantra is a word that can expand my mind - perceiving myself separate from the word mantra - manipulating myself to manifesting the belief that the mantra is special because it is supposed to be only just for me - and was told to promise to keep it secret - where i defined myself within the ' i have a secret and you don't know what it is' character - where i judged the word secret as more than myself and me less than myself - where when i am the only one that knows something and others do not know about it - i am special - defining myself within the 'i am special' character - not realizing this is a word - and i use words as an expression of who i am - so there's nothing special about it -  not realizing I AM HERE - as flesh, as blood - as the substance/physical - equal to all that exist - as we all came from the same substance all are made of .

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within the 'initiated to spirituality' character - where i believe that my initiation to meditation means that i am now more special than others - who are not initiated in the path of 'tantra' - as the 'tantric' character - where i specialized 'tantra' as more than me and me less than myself - believing that my guru is the reincarnation of Shiva and Krishna - where i judged the guru, AM as more than myself and me less than myself -where i believed he was 'taraka brahma' or god himself in physical form - judging him as more than me and me less than myself - believing  that he is a sadguru -  judging him as more special than a guru - believing that when i follow the 16 points - i will be liberated from bondage - believing self-realization and selfless service are my passport to liberation - defined within the ' i desire liberation' character - believing that me receiving the name 'Janaki' upon initiation -  Janaki meaning 'mother of the universe'  - i will one day be that -desiring to have a positive experience from having the name 'Janaki' - as the 'Janaki, mother of the universe' character - not realizing I AM HERE as breath in every moment - equal to all that exist - as all came from the same substance all are made of - as all Life.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as the 'tantric yogi' character - where i take a shower in the morning and in the evening, recite the bath mantra as i look at the light in the ceiling of the room - believing my body will be energized by reciting the mantra and looking at the light - defined as the 'bath mantra' character - and sit in lotus pose in the morning upon waking up - defined as the 'lotus pose' character - then i close my eyes - defined as the 'closed eyes meditation' character - proceeding to withdraw my attention from this real world - from this real reality - to go to an alternate reality within/as my mind - where i transform physicality/substance to mind energy to have a positive energy experience - where i imagine a light coming from my toes going to the head then down to the heart area - which i call the 'anahata cakra' - defined within the 'anahata cakra' character - and then start repeating my mantra 'hang so' - which i translated as 'i am that' - defined within the 'hang so' character - the mantra 'hang so' i synchronized with my breathing - doing that  for about 20- 30 minutes or more - then do the yoga exercises - defined within the 'yoga posutre' character and then eat a 'sentient meal' also known as a 'vegetarian meal' - defined within the 'sentient food' character that uses no onion nor garlic - believing that onion and garlic are 'tamasik' - defined within the 'i don't like tamasik food' character - and at night before eating- taking a shower again, reciting the bath mantra again and then sitting in meditation again - where after meditation i do the yoga postures again and then eat a 'vegetarian sentient meal' again - like a battery operated machine - where i diminish myself as who i am as life - not defined by energy - within self-sabotage - sabotaging my own self-realization by being a mind character desiring positive energy experiences as the 'moreness of me'.

Not realizing  I AM HERE as breath in every moment.

Dharma Cakra

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within the 'dharma cakra' character - where i attend group meditation every week - where we first sing kirtan or chant 'babanam kevalam' meaning 'love is all there is' - accompanied by guitar or tabla - where the men form a line or group usually at the right and the women form another line or group at the left - or gather around a table where the picture of the guru is - defined within the 'i love baba/guru' character using words and music to - get a positive energy experience in an alternate reality within/as my mind - in a mind reality - as an alternate version of who i am - and then to make the positive energy experience expand - meditate on  the mantra to get more positive energy experience within and as my mind - defining myself within the 'i like bliss' character.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within the 'pratik' character

- believing that the pratik is a powerful symbol charged with spiritual energy of the guru - perceiving myself separate from the pratik - judging it as more than myself and me less than myself - not realizing that we give meaning to symbols equal to who we are - equal to all that exist.- where the symbol usually appears together with the picture of the guru - in the jagriti/yoga house - the picture and the pratik in front or in the middle of the circle where we all gather - as we sing in unison 'love is all there is' or 'everything is a manifestation of the supreme consciousness' as babanam kevalam' - not realizing i am singing in essence 'fear is all there is' - as people all over the world is in fear like me doing something to mask that fear in the name of 'love'- as i defined myself within the 'babanam kevalam' character - not realizing and understanding 'love' is fear of myself - and in that fear of not existing/ fear of me as the ego/ fear of not existing eternally - i desire to love myself and others - defined within the 'i love others' character - perceived separate from me - and believe i will attain liberation through this - desiring to exist eternally - and within/as my mind believe that i will attain moksha or liberation or salvation - not realizing that believing in attaining moksha/liberation from the bondage of the ego just by myself - is done in self-interest - where i perceive me separate from all - as self is all life - where through yoga and meditation - we consume the physical/substance to transform it to energy to - within/as the mind use this  energy  to enjoy the positive energy experience of what we do - which we believed and defined as positive and blissful - and when after doing 'self-less service' or giving poor people food - defined within the 'self-less service' character - feeling good about myself - in self-interest - being self-dishonest that it is being done without me gaining something from it - not realizing that the 'positive energy experience perceived gained' is there -  the 'bliss' or positive energy experience when i do kirtan/chanting - which is 'heightened' in meditation - as we do dharmacakra or group meditation - where i experience a 'surge of bliss' within and as my mind - separating myself from what is HERE - as the physical/substance - equal to all that exist - and consuming the physical/body/substance and transforming the substance to energy which the mind use to experience 'bliss' - a positive energy experience within/as my mind - an alternate reality where i exist as an alternate version of me - believing it was me as self - in self-dishonesty and self-sabotage.

Note: To be continued

The Word 'Where' Connected to 'Heaven and Hell': Day 109 Google and Guru

The Word 'WHERE'

 I am using self-forgiveness for separating myself from the word 'where' by giving it a positive and a negative value - where i go within/as my mind - seeing it as more than or less than what it is. I am committing myself to correct myself in every moment of breath and to use it in writing and speaking as an expression of who i am.

The Word 'Where' Connected To Other Words Charged with a Positive and Negative Value:

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Self-forgiveness:

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the word where by giving it a positive value
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the word where by giving it a negative value


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 Positive

Self-forgiveness Statements

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to give the word where a positive value

Heaven
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word where to the word heaven
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word where within the word heaven


Self-realization
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word where to the words self-realization
i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word where within the words self-realization


Cosmic consciousness
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word where to the words cosmic consciousness
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word 'where' within the words cosmic consciousness


Niirvana
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word where to the word nirvana
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to definethe word where within the word nirvana


Guru
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word where to the word guru
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word where within the word guru

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Negative

Self-forgiveness statements:

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to give the word where a negative value

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word where to the word hell
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word where within the word hell


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word where to the word dungeon
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word where within the word dungeon


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word where to the word cemetery
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word where within the word cemetery

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 Self-forgiveness as Google

 I forgive myself  'as google' that i have accepted and allowed myself to make money from ads on the side page of google maps - out of people asking the question 'where am i?'

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Self-forgiveness As Ananda Murti

I forgive myself 'as guru Ananda Murti' for promising union with cosmic consciousness - a place somewhere out there other than HERE - if one does meditation,  or sadhana religiously and follow the 16 points and yama and niyama

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Self-commitment

I commit myself to when and as i see myself separating myself from the word where by giving it a negative value - i stop - i breathe and bring myself back here and assist myself to investigate what word i connected it to and  why - then correct myself within that by using self-forgiveness and self-corrective application that is appropriate at that moment


I commit myself to when and as i see myself  talking about the word where and giving it a positive value - i stop - i breathe and bring me back to here and assist myself to investigate what word i connected it to and why  - and correct myself within that by using the self-forgiveness and self- corrective application that is appropriate at the that moment


I commit myself to when and as i see myself asking where i can find information  about where a video, recording or information  is - so i can get a positive energy experience from it - where i  rush to get it - i stop - i breathe and assist myself  to slow down and bring myself back here and be content realizing i am here - and that is it.

I commit myself to expose myself and others for making money out of the question 'who am i?' - instead of making use of the question to stop us from separating from who we really are within and as our mind by giving the word where a positive and a negative value - seeking the 'moreness' of ourselves within going to a place like heaven, nirvana, union with supreme consciousness etc. 

I commit myself to expose spiritual organizations that make use of this question to give people a positive energy experience from giving them an answer that relates to heaven, nirvana, union with cosmic consciousness etc.