Birth Control Pills, Health, Jokes, and Pregnancy In The Community

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In this blog, I want to explore the birth control pill and its role in women's lives referencing my experience when I was growing up.

The women in our community visited the municipal health office when they have a problem with health care issues. When they get sick or any of their family members get sick, they get free medicine from the health office.  Sometimes, the supply was limited so the women were unable to be treated. They do not have any health care coverage insurance or anything like that since they were not employed. It's worth mentioning here that even those employed did not have it.

Most of them also visited the health care center to get some birth control pills. My mom was a municipal health employee and I came with her sometimes to visit her office. She gave these women some birth control pills to keep them from getting pregnant. Most of the pills being distributed at that time came from the government. Most of them contained estrogen, the female hormone. Sometimes she gave them IUD (Intra Uterine Device) and with the help of her uncle who was the municipal health doctor, they tried to advice the women to plan the number of children they want to have.

When I got married, I also found myself searching for birth control pills after 3 kids. I accepted the 'pill culture ' without questioning the role of the pill or the chemicals in it like estrogen being introduced in my body which can affect my overall health.  I only became aware of my irresponsibility while talking to someone recently who wanted to take estrogen to soften ones skin. I pointed out that the body will be affected by this and as I was saying these words, I remembered myself using the birth control pill that has estrogen in it when I was having unplanned pregnancies. Like him, I too did not look at how it will affect my body's overall functioning. I was humbled by the realization and forgave myself.

The role of birth control pills in our community was only to prevent pregnancy so that men and women can partake in sexual pleasure - that could potentially stop boredom and anguish in an uncertain world. They hoped this will stop them (rich or poor) from being lonely or 'feeling alone' in a relationship. The pill will also release the 'burden' of taking responsibility for financially supporting kids after birth. This was accepted as if this was the 'solution'. It was as if sex had no other purpose other than to satisfy a desire for pleasure.

Sex as physical interaction of 2 bodies without desire for pleasure but is being used to support the physical body - was unheard of.

In the absence of money, tv, movies, etc., what do you do at night when there's no electricity, to entertain yourself?
Have sex and make babies.

Is that logic or fuzzy logic?

That is fuzzy logic, yet it was accepted and allowed in the form of jokes. In this small town where I grew up, no one dared to ask. It just became a part of our community jokes. I heard many people including my mom and grandmother say this joke over and over again. I ended up saying it and everyone in my family started saying it. So, I interpreted this as if it was okay to make jokes out of problems and just laugh it off rather than provide an effective solution that will benefit everyone in the community. There were no factual answers given nor was there a resolution to end the problem. The easiest way for them to solve the problem is for them to give birth control pills to the women in the community.

But if we look at the common sense behind it, we can pinpoint the problem and educate the women about the role of sex, how many children one can plan to have in a family that will be mutually beneficial for the family and community. Developing businesses which can assist women and men in the community to get income so they can support the family can also help. But what can really help is a basic income guarantee that will provide monthly income - as unconditional guaranteed support for everyone including children who will be born in this world from birth to death that is currently being looked at in other European countries like Sweden and Norway.

Thoughts are Words That Become a Behavior Video

Thoughts Are Words That Become A Behavior

CLICK HERE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s32UxveIkZ4&list=UUqva63NRmbykN9e9xXOgZVA&index=45

Un-cut  Versions
Note: Youtube controls the length of video to upload

Part 1: Thoughts, Words and Behavior
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hIQasjGXeec&list=UUqva63NRmbykN9e9xXOgZVA

Part 2: Thoughts, Words and Eating Behavior
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pHYyerZblrc&list=UUqva63NRmbykN9e9xXOgZVA

Part 3: Thoughts, Words and What's Directing our Behavior
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z-GmyhBjU90&list=UUqva63NRmbykN9e9xXOgZVA&index=2

War with Syria: We All Create War Through Desiring Peace

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War with Syria Series

Do we really create war?

Who else is creating all that is here but all of us who are here?

We are creating it again and again. Otherwise, it won't be here repeating itself again and agan.

I am taking self-responsibility to stop this creation in 'my within' - as the mind
recognizing the inter-connectedness of life in 'our within and our without' and
is correcting myself in my living moment by moment, breath by breath.

Here's my self-forgiveness statements:

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the design of fear of survival - as war  - as the body - as energy - as sound - as movement

Fear War - so Desiring Peace through using relaxation techniques like meditation, yoga exercises and other relaxation exercises like pilates, tai chi, qi gong manipulating the body to relax -believing life is about a peaceful body, mind and spirit where the body is separate from the mind and spirit and trying to unite the 3 - in separation from life, instead of realizing life is about developing an equal and one relationship with all parts of life - including all parts of the body - standing equal to the mind so one can see how one created oneself 'within and without' so one can take responsibility for all life - stopping mind participation and birthing oneself as equal to and one with life. 

Within this, i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to Desire to have peace of mind -imagining a peaceful scene within my mind with the guru on top of my head in a certain pose blessing me and through having a savior that can save me from my sins when i was young believing that peace is about one being as superior over another being that is inferior, one giving one something that it does not have- like a relationship that exist between a victim and a savior,  in separation from each other, with me as the victim, as the one inferior that is asking for someone to save me,  asking for someone to liberate me from my own self-created limitation, bondage, ego etc. - which really is a 'cop-out' fearing failure, victimizing oneself, then Desiring to unite/'be one with' to be liberated from that self-definition within limitation, ego, inferiority, and the belief that i am in bondage within the cycle of birth and death - which in essence is fearing to take self-responsibility for the consequence that i have accepted and allowed in this world, separating oneself from pain, suffering etc. and so desiring to self-realize as an individual separate from all, leaving other parts of me limited and bound - which is fuzzy logic really - not realizing that this is self-realization within self-interest which does not align to oneness and equality as all life but just a belief that i can transcend my fear by having someone save me from sin or someone perceived to be superior (made of the same substance = dust of the earth) can liberate me from a life of self-interest/ego where i am perceived inferior

Within this, i forgive myself for fearing i am limited believing i am the ego perceived separate from all - desiring to unite to the 'supreme' self/god/guru within  expanding my mind through meditating on a 'hang so or so ham' (a secret word which is not so secret anymore, meaning 'i am all') and  singing the sanskrit word day in and day out, 'babanam kevalam' which means 'love is all there is' believing it will help give me liberation -  not even questioning this fuzzy logic, but blindly abusing words not seeing that words are equal to life as it is manifested sound as symbol as words and that defining certain words as greater than others is a way of  giving one life form/manifestation a value greater than life and another  a value less than life.

Within this, i forgive myself for surrendering myself to someone perceived 'greater than' self relinguishing being able to trust myself, to direct myself, to be self-honest, to have self-will etc. instead of realizing i am here as breath in every moment able to develop self-trust, able to be self-directive, able to be self-honest, able to have self-will.

Within this, i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use words and sing words separate from me defined within other words that has a perceived positive value- where love as a word was given a definition that is more than life - as a feeling that one creates within ones mind, where i imagine giving this mind energy to others perceived separate from myself imagining to fill this earth and everyone in it with this feeling i created from my mind definition of love- not realizing that this is mind energy and therefore not real love but an idea of love within my mind based on my interpretation of reality which is biased - where love is defined within hate and hate is defined within love - not realizing that the definition i give words is how i see myself, others and this world, so if it is biased, that is how i will see this world - therefore missing reality as what is here in this physical existence.

Within this, i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the poor needs to eat 3x a day and that no matter how many times i meditate, sing, feed the poor, the system of inequality will not change because it's all about money and profit and that cooperatives which was suggested by the guru will not work because it is coping, within a system of abuse based on inequality and not about REAL change  within what is best for all - creating a balanced ecosystem of money to sustain Life on earth.

So, supporting this current system  will create a cycle of abuse that i do not even see - just because of wanting to transcend the chaos in my mind which i created through the friction and conflict of polarized thinking. I believed then that being relaxed within a mind idea of peace will make a peaceful world - not realizing that i created the chaos in my mind and i am trying to create peace in my mind - where peace is imaginary peace and not real peace which is creating an idea of balance within balance in polarity, NOT REAL BALANCE in a balanced ecosystem which is life sustaining.

It is perpetually/repeatedly creating a system of abuse - creating friction and conflict 'within and without', instead of creating a world that truly honors life and walking as equals and giving the poor, the uneducated, the elderly etc. a means to have a dignified life by giving a Basic/Living Income Guaranteed from birth to death - i would settle for just giving them alms or cooking food for a select few but NOT ALL LIFE- where within wanting liberation for oneself from bondage, one becomes BOUND to ones own selfish desire to liberate oneself while all remain victims of abuse in a world of inequality. 

This is the friction and conflict that i participated in for 29 years in 'my within' as the mind' - running away from fear of death, my fear of survival,my fear of limitation, my fear of being the ego, my fear of being reincarnated as an animal or a plant, my fear of being thrown into hell, my fear of not being liberated from the bondage of life and death, my fear of not realizing who i am in this life etc. so satisfying my Desire for peace, my desire for bliss, my desire to unite with the supreme, my desire to be spiritually perfect, my desire for eternal life which is an interpretation of reality based from fear of survival in an unequal world- as it is impulsed by magazines and books i read about spirituality and by telivision shows, series, movies etc. which is being sold also in exchange for money within consumerism - which boils down to money and profit for someone or a group. So, this is about friction and conflict created in 'my within'  which  creates a consequence outflow in 'my without' as war/death/physical abuse/rape/poverty/porn which are all based on the same fears and desires.  

The same friction and conflict that arise from running away from my FEAR of survival, my fear of war, my fear of death etc. and satisfying my DESIRE to survive, my desire for peace, my desire to be relaxed, my desire for bliss,my desire for pleasure, my desire for eternal life etc. All are equally creating a cycle of abuse. 

The irony of it all is that what i was doing then was keeping myself from realizing self - as ALL LIFE within self-interest. It was about Self-sabotaging self within an idea of Liberating Self. This is the fuzzy logic of the mind,

Instead of realizing the commonsense that
i am here as the breath in every moment
moving me, directing me
as who i am, what i am, how i am, when i am, where i am
equal to all that is birthed in this world
as all consists of the same substance as the substance the dust of the earth
is made from, the same substance the body of masters and gurus are made from
and that within stopping conflict and friction in 'my within' as the mind
and stopping the creation of it in 'my without' as this world system 
moment by moment 
breath by breath
where real peace is about birthing oneself as someone 
that can be trusted to stand for what is best for all life
and creating a world that is best for all
developing an equal and one relationship with the physical/body
through movement,
 standing equal to the mind 
and standing equal to the spirit of LIFE 
which includes creating a balanced ecosystem of money
that sustains life

Through this, i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to 
doubt myself within a perceive split within myself 
the personality who is fearing chaos within war 
and thepersonality desiring peace
instead of realizing this is me 
within polarized thinking
instead of realizing
i am here as part of the whole that is life
therefore equal to life - as all that is birthed here
able to direct myself, move myself, stabilize myself 
as an individualized expression of the whole

Through this, i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself
to blame the physical/body for being stressed
instead of realizing i created stress through reacting to the fear
and the body reacting to that
so it is me who is taking self-responsibility
in stopping mind participation

Through this i forgive myself that i have
accepted and allowed myself to have the excuse that i have
to survive as a peaceful personality
trying to satisfy my desire to be peaceful

instead of realizing this is balance in polarity

where i try to run away from my fear
instead of facing it, walking back and seeing where it all started

Through this, i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to
justify the excuse that i have to survive as a personality that desires peace
believing this way i become whole
where wholeness is an idea that i created within my mind
so creating mental peace as absence of war
instead of creating and supporting the establishment of real peace

Real peace being
PE-ople as A-ll C-aring about each other as E-quals
where all are walking
as equals in this one life
and paving the way for that
where the poor, the unemployed, the elderly
or the ones who are illiterate or have little or no education
has means of getting the basic necessities they need to live a dignified life
where the resources given by the earth are nationalized
and the profit used to
create dividends sufficient enough
to cover a Basic/Living Income
creating a sustainable system
where there's a balanced ecosystem of money
on earth

I commit myself to show that real peace is possible
I commit myself to walk back and look at the origin of my fears
I commit myself to when and as i see myself desiring to do something to relax
I stop
I breath and change my starting point from self-interest
within trying to get a positive energy experience in whatever exercises i do
to that which will benefit all life - which is doing exercicises
 as the breath here

The Word 'Inferiority' Day 302 Connected to The Word Sickness

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Redefining Words    

Parenting:Perfecting The Human Race

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

The Word 'Inferiority'                                         

Topic: 
Releasing the energy charge and equalizing myself with the word 'inferiority'
as who i am in relation to the symbols that are building blocks of words.
words that are building blocks of sentences
which i use to express me here
as i birth myself as Life

What is self-forgiveness?

http://juneroca.com/home/my-process/self-forgiveness/

Separating From the Word Through Giving it a Positive and A Negative Value
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to separate from the word inferiority through giving it a positive value
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the word inferiority through giving it a negative value

Charging The Word With A Positive and A Negative Value
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to charge the word inferiority with a positive value
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to charge the word inferiority with a negative value

Positive Connections/Definitions
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word inferiority to the word pity
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word inferiority within the word pity

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word inferior to the word help
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word inferior within the word help

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word inferior to the word sympathy
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word inferior within the word sympathy

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word inferior to the word love
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word inferior within the word love

Negative Connections/Definitions
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word inferior to the word poor
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word inferior within the word poor

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word inferior to the word poverty
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself t define the word inferior within the word poverty

I forgive  myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word inferior to the word pain
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word inferior within the word ugly

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word inferior to the word dirty
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word inferior within the word dirty

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word inferior to the word lose
I forgive myself that i h ave  accepted and allowed myself to define the word inferior within the word lose

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word inferior to the word pain
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word inferior within the word pain

i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word inferior  to the word suffering
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word inferior within the word suffering

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word inferior to the word death
I forgive myself that i h ave accepted and allowed myself to define the word inferior within the word death

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word inferior to the word sickness
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word inferior within the word sickness

===

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to
resonate the word 'inferiority'
over and over again
into the very physical body
rippling through into the water and actually program
the very physical
from the depths of the physical itself

Commitment to Correction

I commit myself to instead of connecting/defining the word 'inferiority'
to/within other words
that i have assigned positive and negative values to
that are my mind interpretation of reality
redefine it as equal to my expression as who i really am

I commit myself to through writing
self-forgiveness and self-corrective application
rewrite myself
stopping the sentences in the book i have written within myself 
my whole life story
including the sentences that includes the word 'inferiority'
equal to and one with how i created myself 
through spoken words in my mind
creating myself through writing, speaking words 
and expressing myself through words

I commit myself to when and as i see myself 
using the word 'inferiority'
within fear of losing
fearing suffering, fearing sickness, fearing death
desiring to win, desiring to be healthy, desiring life

I stop
I breathe through 
the fears and desires

I realized that my fear of losing
is fueling my desire to win 

desiring to be the best
desiring to be healthy,  to be happy etc.

to instead face 
the fear
of a negative energy experience 
i imagined/thought within my mind

to instead of desiring a positive energy experience/happiness
i imagined/thought within my mind

to instead of creating this stress in my body
the physical reacting to 
my beingness' reaction to that
which i fear
within my mind

I 'd rather assist myself to 
take self-responsibility for all parts of me as life
mapping out how i created 'my within' as the mind 
and 'my without' as this world system

standing equal with my mind

release my beingness 
that is trapped 
within my mind 
and within the physical
so as i release myself
in 'my within'
release myself as all in 'my without'

I assist myself to release words 
that are charged with positive and negative values
redefining words as equal to who i am, what i am and how i am

so as i redefine words
i redefine myself to that
who always stand for what is best for all

Quote:
'to resonate and experience that word or such a memory
over and over and over again and because it resonates
over and over again into the very physical body
it ripple through into the water
and actually program the very physical from the depths of
the physical itself'
Parenting Perfecting The Human Race Part 6https://eqafe.com/i/jroca-parenting-perfecting-the-human-race-part-6

The Back Door Correcting Myself Day 291 Redefinition Realization

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This Blog is a Correction Script for What was Forgiven In This Blog

http://junejourneytolife.blogspot.com/2013/05/it-is-not-working-day-290-sex-and.html

===

Commitments:

Self-Correction Script

I commit myself to when and as i see myself

fear that i have a boring sex life 
fear that i will not be whole if i do not have it all - in my relationships

and so end a relationship

based from what i like and what i don't like
based from desires not being met or satisfied

based from fear of suffering

I stop

I breathe

I realize that this is me as the mind

believing that the man i am with is a separate individual

that i can have an emotional bond with
that ican  have good sex with

that i can have good feelings with to make me feel complete

that i can have to make me feel whole

expecting to have something more

desiring something 
which comes from
fear 
of not being complete or whole
or having it all

instead of realizing that 
i have associated words within my mind 
to other words
that i have given value more than life or less than life

where i see myself, others and this world based on those mind definitions

defining relationships - based from a mind definition 

'2 people being eternally happy because each is giving the other what each other like or desires'

defining a male  - based from a mind definition
'someone who completes a female'

defining attraction - based from a mind definition
ATT-ention t-RACTION
'being mesmerized to seeing someone with qualities i defined as more than life - more than ordinary or normal'

defining the word love - based from a mind definition
L-iving O-ver the positi-VE
'feeling of comfort within being cared for, desired, liked, adored'
defining the word 'suffering' - based from a mind definition
S-elf s-UFF-ering because of ERR-ors ING-rained within the mind as negative energy experiences
'psychological pain in not having what i like' 
defining the word 'control' - based from a mind definition
Con - troll 
'another having control over what i like to do or not do based from what i like and what i do not like conning me to do that which he/she likes me to do'
defining the word 'end' - based from a mind definition
EN-ergy D-eath
'the conclusion or end of my positive energy experiences as who i have become as the personality/individual /mind
defining the word 'start' - based from a mind definition
S-elf as T-ime A-spiring for a- RT
'the beginning which is usually where one aspires or hope to experience the beauty and happiness in the future or life ahead'

and my mind expectations of him 

according to those mind definitions
which is really based on self-interest 
or what someone can give me which i believe i don't have'
which in essence is based from my fears

It is not me interacting with another as myself

walking as equals

I therefore assist myself

to redefine words 

live the redefined meaning of these words

as equal to my expression as who i am

I commit myself 

to when and as i see myself expecting 

that a man becomes the man i imagine in my mind

I stop

I breathe

I realized that imaginations are based on

pictures and images i accumulated in my mind

which i connected to positive and negative energy experiences
within memories
as i my interpretation of reality
which is not real
an illusion

So, i assist myself to 

breathe through the positive and negative energies, 
movements within myself

and stabilize myself as breath here

I assist myself to accept and allow me to see

the male as self - equal and one

I assist myself to accept and allow me to see

that i am part of the whole - as Life

consisting of different parts 

expressing individually

looking different and separate from the mind's perspective

but essentially equal and one 

all consisting of atoms that all consist of

so instead of trying to find the man

that will complete me and make me whole

realize that wholeness is not about separating from the whole 

and uniting to the whole

which is in essence

coming from the starting point 

of me perceiving myself separate from who i am

as essentially equal to all that is here

It is to develop an equal and one relationship with my body
be intimate with myself

accepting and allowing me to see

all that is here 

as all bodies - the body of humans, the body of nature, animals, plants etc

as what it is

as all life - equal and one 

I assist myself to accept and allow me

to see that the body of a woman

consisting of trillions of cells  

consisting of atoms 

as equal to the man's body 

with sex organs that look different 

but essentially equal and one

as all are parts of this one life

breathing here in every moment 

with a heart that beats

having an individual pulse

that constitute the pulse of all - as the pulse of life

I commit myself to when and as i see myself

getting out of a relationship

based from what i don't like about my partner

I stop

I breathe

I realize that it is me as the mind

having these likes and dislikes

realizing that my dislikes are coming from my fears

so instead of focusing on what i like and getting that
which is in facrt me running from my fears

face my fears

look back and see where this started

seeing and realizing
that when i was young my dad left to work abroad

and see that i felt relieved that he was not there to discipline 

all of us  - i felt i had no one to control me to do whatever i please
which i interpreted as freedom

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to 

connect leaving someone to relief and freedom

believing that when i leave someone 
or end a relationship
i will be relieved from 

taking responsibility and will have freedom

where having freedom and relief from responsibility

is me running away from me - me running away from my fears

instead of realizing that taking self-responsibility

is the key to realizing self, developing self trust etc.

and that me having that back door is stopping me to 

be intimate with myself and another as self

I commit myself to when and as i see myself

connecting leaving someone or leaving a relationship

with
being relieved from responsibility 
and freedom to do what i like

I stop

I breathe

I realize that this is me as the mind

being directed by what i like and what i don't like 
as the mind

and projecting this to my partner 

instead of bringing it back to myself 

redefining words

forgiving myself for my fear of control  

forgiving myself for my fear of not having freedom
forgiving myself for my fear of pain and suffering

and correcting myself in my living

where
instead of waiting for my dad to correct me

take self-responsibility 

to forgive myself

rewrite the book within myself and correct myself

taking myself by the hand 

and unconditionally assisting myself 

forgiving myself

correcting myself

and in the process birth a new self

that can be trusted 

to always stand for what is best for all concerned

in every decision i make 

asking 
'how will looking at my fears (fear of control and fear of suffering),

and forgiving myself and correcting myself

assist me in my process of self-perfection?

where,
I decide to walk with the male
from a true starting point

assisting each other to look at our fears

forgiving ourselves 

correcting ourselves

and assisting each other 

in birthing self here

redefining words 

redefines attraction as 
seeing another as myself 
someone who i can walk with
in equality and oneness
to birth me here as who i really am

redefines love

as birthing self as all life
walking baby steps
and embracing the pain that comes with 
that 
redefines a male as a human
who expresses oneself as a male having a male organ
whose body consist of atoms consisting of substance all consist of
redefines relationships as relating to the ship of life
where one walks with another as self  both agreeing to birth
a new self that can  be trusted to always stand for what is best for all
redefines suffering as self standing up to offer all a solution as that 'I' 
that always stand for what is best for all
realizing that
what is best for all  
is about birthing a new self
and within that birthing
bear the physical pain in taking baby steps to birthing self here 
until all is free
redefines control as power to push through the pain of birthing a new self that can be trusted to stand for what is best for all and to stay focused until one is free and all is free
forevermore
redefines end as a point where one stops that which is not what is best for all 
redefines start as self starting to see and realize who one really is, what life really is  and decide to do that which what is best for all - a beginning of ones journey to life

I assist myself 

to take self-responsibility

to through writing, self-forgiveness

and self correction in my living

moment by moment

breath by breath

birth me here as who i really am

as wholeness

Decoding The Mind: The Businessman and The Bum (Homeless) Day 274

 From Relationship to Agreement

Equal Money

My Food Blog

Topic:
What is the Similarity between the Businessman's Mind and the Bum's (Homeless) Mind?

Let's have a REAL Look at Their Fears and Desires:

The Businessman

>Fear of surviving - fear of not making money
>>desires for opportunities to make more money to get to a bigger markets to get big profit
to survive
>>>analyzes market trends
>>>>makes a plan
>>>>> implements the plan
>>>>>>gets into a bigger market so one will survive in business
>>>>>>>gets more money business survives
>>>>>>>>he/she becomes happy (Desire satisfied)

The Bum
>Fear of surviving: Fear of not being able to get food and shelter for the night
>>desires to look around for parks and benches for him/her to use as bed for the night and for food to survive 
>>>makes a plan, a strategy so he/she can get food and shelter for the night and survive
>>>>someone sees him/her - so donates food and shows him/her where it is possible to sleep for the night
>>>>>he/she becomes happy (Desire satisfied)
===

The Businessman's Mind:
Fear Fear of surviving in Business
Desire: To survive in Business have money coming in - in the form of an income and profit

The Bum's Mind:
Fear: Fear of surviving in the streets
Desire: To survive by having food to eat and a place to sleep
===

In essence, both fears are identical from the perspective that
they are existing in FEAR of Survival which is fueling their Desires
The momentary reward is happiness (positive energy experience)
This is who they have become - as the mind
A program
>Fear
> > Desire
>>>Satisfying the desire
>>>>Happiness
===

The Problem

http://juneroca.com/mathematics-of-life/food-mathematics/fear-of-survival-flow-charts/problem-solution-reward/


The Solution and The Reward
http://juneroca.com/mathematics-of-life/food-mathematics/fear-of-survival-flow-charts/problem-solution-reward/the-solution-anf-the-reward/

Sex: Dimensions of My Mind: Day 268: Backchat: DRD



 From Relationship to Agreement

Agreement Course

Female Programming and Relationship Mathematics

My Food Blog 

In this blog i am looking at the Backchat Dimension 

I am including a brief outline of the mind dimensions i will be working on

at the first part of this blog for reference purposes.

The details of the backchat dimension is private. The details will not be written in this blog
but i will do self-forgiveness and commitment statements here
correcting myself as in, writing a script that will guide me in my living participation

Topic: Sex

Dimensions of The Mind:
Reference:

http://juneroca.com/home/my-process/the-dimensions-of-the-mind/

The Conscious Mind:

Thought: me being touched by the man who i am in a relationship with,  in the nipple

Imagination: the nipple hardening and my jade gate secreting fluid with the hard jade stalk inside my jade gate going in and out in a slow but firm motion alternating with deep thrusts and shallow thrusts that drives me to a point of orgasm

The Subconscious Mind: 

Backchat: (I decided to keep the details of this  private)

Reaction: me satisfied and happy feeling ecstatic- like a complete woman

The Unconscious Mind:

Body Movement: my head turning right and left, screaming intermittently, gasping for my breath

===

I am doing self-forgiveness and writing a commitment to correction script in this blog

specifically on the Backchat  Dimension.

===

Self-forgiveness Statements

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself 
to participate in the design of
'fear of survival - as information and knowledge - as energy - as physical/body - as movement'

have internal conversation within my mind 
of how i feel when i do not have a relationship 
believing,
no one to kiss - no tongue playing with my tongue - no warm saliva coming in my mouth
no one to embrace - male's body pressed against mine
no one to touch my body and no body to touch 
no 'jade stalk' hardening that i can hold or that is thrusting within my 'jade gate'

where this feeling of nothingness 
gives me a negative energy experience

so, within my mind i have internal conversations 
about who i can possibly attract
to have a relationship with me
so I can have someone to kiss  
the warm saliva coming in my mouth 
where a male's tongue is playing with my tongue

to have a male to embrace me
his body pressed against mine
to have a male touch my body
to have a male's body next to me i can touch

to be able to hold a hard male's 'jade stalk
and feel it within my 'jade gate'
thrusting fast and slow
deep or shallow

where within this action happening
i get a positive energy experience

believing that within sex 
i can feel the 'moreness' of me 
as a female personality

within my mind
creating a series of pictures telling a story
a picture of DRD 
and the energy experience of when we were having sex
which gave me pleasure 
which gave me a positive energy experience

not seeing and realizing that
when I participate in my mind
in internal conversations
there is a
consequential outflow
where the body is being resourced 
to transform physicality to energy
so the mind can exist
just like a laptop
connected to the socket on the wall
to get some electricity flowing 
to the computer so the computer can have power 

instead of realizing that
i am here as breath
in every moment
and that i can be here
without
fearing not having a relationship with a male
without
desiring a relationship with a male

that i can develop self-intimacy
within
being intimate with/as my body
developing an equal and oine relationship with my body
and enjoying me as breath  here
===

Commitment to Correction: Script

I commit myself to when and as I see myself
having internal conversation within my mind
about
how good having sex with DRD is
how I miss having that same sexual  ecstasy with DRD

I stop
I breathe

I realized that when I have internal conversations within my mind
I take pictures from the past
and the positive energy experience of me and DRD
and then from that I compare
my present experience
so when I am not in a relationship with anyone  - or when I am alone
desiring to have those back
missing those positive energy experiences
hoping that I will find someone like him'
to give me those positive energy experiences again
hoping to have a new relationship

or when in a relationship
compare that to the my positive energetic experience
with DRD in the past

leaving what is here as this physical reality
and going within an alternate reality
in my mind
having internal conversations
using words that I defined according to
mind values I had given words
connected to other words and defined within other words
separating myself from words
abusing words  within my mind

not seeing and realizing
that I sound the script of my life within words
that I write the book within myself through words
and as I charge words with positive and negative values
just like I give value to cents, dollars and dimes
in a casino where I try to win when I lose
I do the same thing with words

all from the starting point of self-interest
me desiring to win
me desiring a positive energy experience

instead of realizing that
the definition I give words
is how I see myself, others and this world

I assist myself to look at
why I have given a positive value
to when DRD have sex with me
and have an internal conversation about that within my mind
holding on to that picture
believing that I will relive that
positive energy experience
when I have internal conversations
about it in my mind

so i assist myself to look at the problem
and seeing that
it is to relive a positive experience
to get out of a negative experience

of not having a relationship with any male
or having a relationship where I have a relationship
with someone who does not give me that positive energy experience

I correct myself in my living participation
realizing that the reward of me not participating in my mind
is me here, as breath, in every moment
moving me
expressing me
enjoying myself
within self-intimacy
able to have physical interaction
with myself or another as me
fully aware of my movements
fully aware of physical sensations
as breath here
in an agreement with an equal

I assist myself to wake myself up
and be with the pulse of my heart
feeling my pulse
clapping once
stomping my feet
bring myself back here
stabilize me as breath

and rewrite the book that is myself
redefine words relating to the internal conversations
identify my fears, reactions etc.
forgive and correct myself
take myself by the hand
unconditionally caring for myself
within self-intimacy
walk back and see how I defined myself into creation
so as I walk forward
as I redefine words
I redefine myself
to birth myself here as equal to all that exist

===
The Mathematics of Giving Positive and Negative Values
Vs Giving Values Equal to Life

I realized that I have given positive and negative
values to words
'as in

Positive Values:
more pressure = +100
movement = +100
nipples = +100
dance = +100
harmony = +100
sucking = +100
thrusts = +100
enjoy = +100
desire = +100
love = +100
hard = +100
similarity =+100
connect = +100

where the mind equation is:

more pressure exerted by DRD's body on my body than the pressure exerted by me on his body = he loves me more = +100
more harmony in DRD's  movement and my movement = dance of Love/compatible = +100
more times he sucked my nipples  = desires me more = +100
more thrusts of the 'jade stalk' into my 'jade gate' = he is enjoying having sex with me = +100 
more similarity in what I do to DRD and what DRD does to me =  we connect = +100

Negative Values:
less pressure = -100
disharmony = -100
incompatible = -100
no desire = -100
less thrusts = -100
less sucking = -100
less similarity = -100
no connection = -100

where the mind equation is:

less pressure exerted by a male's body than the pressure I exert on another male's body = loves me less = -100
disharmony in another male's movement with my movement when having sex = dance made in hell/incompatible = -100
less times another male sucked my nipple = does not desire my body = -100
less thrusts of another male's 'jade stalk' in my 'jade gate' = he is not enjoying sex with me = -100
less similarity in what another male does to me when having sex, compared  to what I do to him = we don't connect = -100'

Not seeing and realizing that I have given mind values that are not real
not seeing and realizing that I have made mind equations that are not real

Realizing that
Movement = Life
Nipple = Life
'Jade gate' = Life
'Jade stalk' = Life
Body/Physical = Life
Hand = Life
Tongue = Life
Touch = Life

All = Life
===