Who else is creating all that is here but all of us who are here?
We are creating it again and again. Otherwise, it won't be here repeating itself again and agan.
I am taking self-responsibility to stop this creation in 'my within' - as the mind
recognizing the inter-connectedness of life in 'our within and our without' and
is correcting myself in my living moment by moment, breath by breath.
Here's my self-forgiveness statements:
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the design of fear of survival - as war - as the body - as energy - as sound - as movement
Fear War - so Desiring Peace through using relaxation techniques like meditation, yoga exercises and other relaxation exercises like pilates, tai chi, qi gong manipulating the body to relax -believing life is about a peaceful body, mind and spirit where the body is separate from the mind and spirit and trying to unite the 3 - in separation from life, instead of realizing life is about developing an equal and one relationship with all parts of life - including all parts of the body - standing equal to the mind so one can see how one created oneself 'within and without' so one can take responsibility for all life - stopping mind participation and birthing oneself as equal to and one with life.
Within this, i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to Desire to have peace of mind -imagining a peaceful scene within my mind with the guru on top of my head in a certain pose blessing me and through having a savior that can save me from my sins when i was young believing that peace is about one being as superior over another being that is inferior, one giving one something that it does not have- like a relationship that exist between a victim and a savior, in separation from each other, with me as the victim, as the one inferior that is asking for someone to save me, asking for someone to liberate me from my own self-created limitation, bondage, ego etc. - which really is a 'cop-out' fearing failure, victimizing oneself, then Desiring to unite/'be one with' to be liberated from that self-definition within limitation, ego, inferiority, and the belief that i am in bondage within the cycle of birth and death - which in essence is fearing to take self-responsibility for the consequence that i have accepted and allowed in this world, separating oneself from pain, suffering etc. and so desiring to self-realize as an individual separate from all, leaving other parts of me limited and bound - which is fuzzy logic really - not realizing that this is self-realization within self-interest which does not align to oneness and equality as all life but just a belief that i can transcend my fear by having someone save me from sin or someone perceived to be superior (made of the same substance = dust of the earth) can liberate me from a life of self-interest/ego where i am perceived inferior
Within this, i forgive myself for fearing i am limited believing i am the ego perceived separate from all - desiring to unite to the 'supreme' self/god/guru within expanding my mind through meditating on a 'hang so or so ham' (a secret word which is not so secret anymore, meaning 'i am all') and singing the sanskrit word day in and day out, 'babanam kevalam' which means 'love is all there is' believing it will help give me liberation - not even questioning this fuzzy logic, but blindly abusing words not seeing that words are equal to life as it is manifested sound as symbol as words and that defining certain words as greater than others is a way of giving one life form/manifestation a value greater than life and another a value less than life.
Within this, i forgive myself for surrendering myself to someone perceived 'greater than' self relinguishing being able to trust myself, to direct myself, to be self-honest, to have self-will etc. instead of realizing i am here as breath in every moment able to develop self-trust, able to be self-directive, able to be self-honest, able to have self-will.
Within this, i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use words and sing words separate from me defined within other words that has a perceived positive value- where love as a word was given a definition that is more than life - as a feeling that one creates within ones mind, where i imagine giving this mind energy to others perceived separate from myself imagining to fill this earth and everyone in it with this feeling i created from my mind definition of love- not realizing that this is mind energy and therefore not real love but an idea of love within my mind based on my interpretation of reality which is biased - where love is defined within hate and hate is defined within love - not realizing that the definition i give words is how i see myself, others and this world, so if it is biased, that is how i will see this world - therefore missing reality as what is here in this physical existence.
Within this, i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the poor needs to eat 3x a day and that no matter how many times i meditate, sing, feed the poor, the system of inequality will not change because it's all about money and profit and that cooperatives which was suggested by the guru will not work because it is coping, within a system of abuse based on inequality and not about REAL change within what is best for all - creating a balanced ecosystem of money to sustain Life on earth.
So, supporting this current system will create a cycle of abuse that i do not even see - just because of wanting to transcend the chaos in my mind which i created through the friction and conflict of polarized thinking. I believed then that being relaxed within a mind idea of peace will make a peaceful world - not realizing that i created the chaos in my mind and i am trying to create peace in my mind - where peace is imaginary peace and not real peace which is creating an idea of balance within balance in polarity, NOT REAL BALANCE in a balanced ecosystem which is life sustaining.
It is perpetually/repeatedly creating a system of abuse - creating friction and conflict 'within and without', instead of creating a world that truly honors life and walking as equals and giving the poor, the uneducated, the elderly etc. a means to have a dignified life by giving a Basic/Living Income Guaranteed from birth to death - i would settle for just giving them alms or cooking food for a select few but NOT ALL LIFE- where within wanting liberation for oneself from bondage, one becomes BOUND to ones own selfish desire to liberate oneself while all remain victims of abuse in a world of inequality.
This is the friction and conflict that i participated in for 29 years in 'my within' as the mind' - running away from fear of death, my fear of survival,my fear of limitation, my fear of being the ego, my fear of being reincarnated as an animal or a plant, my fear of being thrown into hell, my fear of not being liberated from the bondage of life and death, my fear of not realizing who i am in this life etc. so satisfying my Desire for peace, my desire for bliss, my desire to unite with the supreme, my desire to be spiritually perfect, my desire for eternal life which is an interpretation of reality based from fear of survival in an unequal world- as it is impulsed by magazines and books i read about spirituality and by telivision shows, series, movies etc. which is being sold also in exchange for money within consumerism - which boils down to money and profit for someone or a group. So, this is about friction and conflict created in 'my within' which creates a consequence outflow in 'my without' as war/death/physical abuse/rape/poverty/porn which are all based on the same fears and desires.
The same friction and conflict that arise from running away from my FEAR of survival, my fear of war, my fear of death etc. and satisfying my DESIRE to survive, my desire for peace, my desire to be relaxed, my desire for bliss,my desire for pleasure, my desire for eternal life etc. All are equally creating a cycle of abuse.
The irony of it all is that what i was doing then was keeping myself from realizing self - as ALL LIFE within self-interest. It was about Self-sabotaging self within an idea of Liberating Self. This is the fuzzy logic of the mind,
Instead of realizing the commonsense that
i am here as the breath in every moment
moving me, directing me
as who i am, what i am, how i am, when i am, where i am
equal to all that is birthed in this world
as all consists of the same substance as the substance the dust of the earth
is made from, the same substance the body of masters and gurus are made from
and that within stopping conflict and friction in 'my within' as the mind
and stopping the creation of it in 'my without' as this world system
moment by moment
breath by breath
where real peace is about birthing oneself as someone
that can be trusted to stand for what is best for all life
and creating a world that is best for all
developing an equal and one relationship with the physical/body
through movement,
standing equal to the mind
and standing equal to the spirit of LIFE
which includes creating a balanced ecosystem of money
that sustains life
Through this, i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to
doubt myself within a perceive split within myself
the personality who is fearing chaos within war
and thepersonality desiring peace
instead of realizing this is me
within polarized thinking
instead of realizing
i am here as part of the whole that is life
therefore equal to life - as all that is birthed here
able to direct myself, move myself, stabilize myself
as an individualized expression of the whole
Through this, i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself
to blame the physical/body for being stressed
instead of realizing i created stress through reacting to the fear
and the body reacting to that
so it is me who is taking self-responsibility
in stopping mind participation
Through this i forgive myself that i have
accepted and allowed myself to have the excuse that i have
to survive as a peaceful personality
trying to satisfy my desire to be peaceful
instead of realizing this is balance in polarity
where i try to run away from my fearinstead of facing it, walking back and seeing where it all started
Through this, i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to
justify the excuse that i have to survive as a personality that desires peace
believing this way i become whole
where wholeness is an idea that i created within my mind
so creating mental peace as absence of war
instead of creating and supporting the establishment of real peace
Real peace being
PE-ople as A-ll C-aring about each other as E-quals
where all are walking
as equals in this one life
and paving the way for that
where the poor, the unemployed, the elderly
or the ones who are illiterate or have little or no education
has means of getting the basic necessities they need to live a dignified life
where the resources given by the earth are nationalized
and the profit used to
create dividends sufficient enough
to cover a Basic/Living Income
creating a sustainable system
where there's a balanced ecosystem of money
on earth
I commit myself to show that real peace is possible
I commit myself to walk back and look at the origin of my fears
I commit myself to when and as i see myself desiring to do something to relax
I stop
I breath and change my starting point from self-interest
within trying to get a positive energy experience in whatever exercises i do
to that which will benefit all life - which is doing exercicises
as the breath here
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