The Accident Part 1: The Breath

The Accident Part 2

                            http://junejourneytolife.blogspot.com/2014/12/the-accident-theres-something-wrong.html

The Accident Part 3

                                http://junejourneytolife.blogspot.com/2014/12/the-accident-3-how-will-i-survive-this.html

 We had an accident last December 17 2014. It was raining and  Leon was driving. A car showed up from the intersection and there was not enough time to stop according to Leon, who was the one driving - so the accident. I am writing what went on in my mind during that incident as a mind pattern. I will focus on breathing in this blog. I had difficulty breathing after the accident so I am forgiving and correcting myself here.

                                                       'I can't Breathe' Mind Pattern
                                                      >That's Leon shouting
                                                      >what just happened?
                                                      >There was an accident!
                                                      >I can't breathe even if I try to
                                                      >let me try again
                                                      >I still can't breathe
                                                      >what is going on?
                                                      >calm down and be here
                                                      >do not try to force it
                                                      >Oh, I can breathe now

Here, I was forcing myself to breathe which is me separating myself from the breath.

What is Self-forgiveness?
It is the process by which an individual forgives oneself for accepting and allowing self to separate from objective reality, releasing positive and negative value judgments such as good or bad, right or wrong, positive or negative - as subjective interpretations of reality regarding something or someone that leads to stability as breath.

Writing Self-forgiveness Statements

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to enslave myself to the memory of how to breathe and so force myself to get into that experience i have in my mind, rather than move myself in that moment and work with what is here - as who I am as the breathe in this body.

 I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be unaware of me as breath

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to manipulate myself to breathe to survive rather than be here as breath in every moment.

I commit myself to when and as I see myself unaware of physical reality as I go inside my mind when an accident happen, I bring myself here as who i am as breath

I commit myself to accept and allow me to develop a equal and one relationship with/as the breath.

I commit myself to redefine the word 'breath':

From a mind definition
The process of taking in and expelling air during breathing

To
the process of inhaling and exhaling as an expression of myself in this body in every moment

'I Want To Do Something Now!' Day 187 Postponement Character fear Dimension 2

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This is a continuation of this Blog

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I forgive myself that i haven't accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand how i still, place my wants needs and desires before physical, reality responsibility that will determine my relationship to me, others and my future in this world - in this utilizing the postponement character as a means to justify 'making myself feel better' for placing my wants and desires before physical practical responsibility where i as the postponement character initiate the reactions of fear of missing out/losing out on that something else - event - if i place responsibility before my want and needs and so allows myself to manipulate myself with fear in relationship to my wants and needs instead of being here, stable in/as breath qne doing things that needs to be done.

I forgive myself that i haven't accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand how i would still, to this day, with facing a responsibility, blame the education system, my teachers, parents or even the responsibility itself  as taking away from me the fulfillment of my wants and needs in moments in time where i know i have to tend to responsibilities but wants to satisfy my wants, desires and needs first - and so will blame education, assignment, teachers, professors, parents - anything/anyone i can blame/exert my own inner conflict to, as i know what i am accepting and allowing that i am angry and frustrated with myself in this inner battle between my wants, needs and desires and the responsibilities or tasks that is here before me

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to blame everything/everyone else for 'taking away' my opportunities/time to satisfy my wants, needs and desires  - where i justify me satisfying my wants before tending to the practical physical reality responsibilities

I forgive myself that i haven't accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand how i still from childhood hold onto this relationship or conflict with time and the here of my world/ reality within the relationship to responsibility - as i still from childhood place my wants before my life in this world and reality

I forgive myself that i haven't accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand how we've created this world system - this entire entertainment world - which is the postponement world system - with its prerogative entertaining and catering to the wants and needs of humans - the entire living condition of 'i want it now' - that which money can buy - where humans  place their wants and desires before their responsibility to humanity and this world as a whole - facing the consequences of placing wants and needs before what is here as our responsibility to this physical existence - establishing real solutions to manifest a heaven on earth where there's physical balance between preference and responsibility - instead of a minority satisfying my wants and desires in the expense of the rest of humanity and this physical existence


I commit myself to assist me to no more accept and allow the fear of missing out on my wants to overpower and control me in moments of facing reponsibility - as i see and realise i am not really missing out on anything  - this indicate that i need to sort out my definition/priorities regarding what responsibility is in fact in relationship to myself. my world and my future within it

I commit myself to stop blaming others for the responsibilities i require doing, stop placing my wants before reality as the physical that is real and get into the grips of reality - realising that nothing can change unless i get my priorities straight - in seeing that whatever  i see in my mind is not real if it exist at the sacrifice of humanity with the wants i possess  in my life through money and money's relationship to humanity and this existence as a whole.

I commit myself to instead of satisfying my wants and desires - stand and decide for what is best for all

I commit myself to through writing, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application - stop the memories, as pictures, desires  etc.  within and as myself and let go of the separation within and as myself and stand with the physical in every breath that i take.

Solution Blueprint Update: Assignments: Realizations: 12th Day: Day 173: SF Oct 1 2012

 

                 

 

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SOLUTION BLUEPRINT

Related Blogs I Have Done :

http://juneroca.com/my-process/the-late-character/

21 Days Breathing Blogs

http://juneroca.com/my-process/the-21-days-breathing/

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I started doing a solution blueprint for the 'late or procrastination' character - for me to have a look at what i am doing in separating myself from the task at hand and time itself - and instead go within my mind and do other tasks that i desire to do creating a positive out of an initial negative - when i am bored and sleepy.

In my solution blueprint - where i jot down daily what i was doing on a daily basis, i found out that the mind gets in the way of me applying myself practically in doing my DIP assignments daily - where i would automatically think about things i have to do and stand up and do it - leaving my assignment unfinished .What i found is working is really applying me in the physical writing and doing my assignment and not giving in to the mind, so i am doing my assignment daily.

I started initially by starting my day doing my assignment but then there's a time when there were other tasks that needs to be done early on the day - so then i started doing these tasks  instead of my assignment and pushed my doing my assignment later in the day - whenever i have time - but making sure i do it - but i forget if i have done it or not. So within this, there is the 'unknowing' character - as i play this one when i try to get out of taking self-responsibility.

I asked myself a question - did i do my assignment today? and the answer is - I am sure i did but i cannot remember when, and then i go into a sense of being overwhelmed. So, here i can see that i am being overwhelmed when i am not here as breath doing my assignment. This is clearly me as the mind character - the 'overwhelmed' character.

I have looked at this character - but i have not blogged about it.

I realised it is not just doing the assignment but BEING HERE AS BREATH WHEN DOING IT.

These are points i will direct in blogs to come:

*Redefine the Word Time
*Blog about Unkowing and my experience as the mind character within that and correct myself  and birth me as the real character as the breath in every moment here
*Blog about being overwhelmed and my experience as the mind character within that and correct myself and birth me as the real character as the breath in every moment here.
*Redefine The Word Assignment
*Look at how i charged the word 'here'

So, i am also writing down the task that i will do for the day and instead of me writing a to do list or not writing one - which i tried before, i am writing down the amount of time i allocate for each task that i do daily - but i will not hold myself to the time i scheduled daily and will not restrict me to do other tasks when i am finished with the task..

Here is my self-forgiveness and self-commitment for this blog :

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to procrastinate - and define myself within the 'procrastination' character  - where i stop what i am doing - like making my assignment - when i think of something that i have not finished to do that i need to do - where i am hoping that in doing that task it will give me a positive experience - with the thought that i actually finished something- leaving the task i have to do unfinished and sometimes forgotten -when i come back to the task that i was doing - not realising that this character i  have given life to for a long time - and so i am directing myself to stop and physically assist myself to do it. Clearly, this is me as the mind, directing me to do any task that i think about, react, imagine etc.

I commit myself to when and as i see myself procrastinating and defining myself within the 'procrastination' character - where i become bored and sleepy when i do not clearly understand what is being conveyed in the assignment - I ask myself what word i do not understand and assist myself to be patient with me to really assist me to look up the meaning of the word or symbols or numbers  and redefine it to something i can live as my expression - based on who i am as equal to all parts of life.

I commit myself to put the assignment  within and as myself and see who am i within this assignment - what am i in doing this assignment and why am i doing what i am doing in making my assignment

I commit myself to when and as i feel sleepy and bored and having a mental blank -when i am making my assignment  i stop - i breathe and say, 'I am here'. I clap 2x to wake myself up and stand up and splash water on my face  or take a shower - whichever is practical to wake me up - then assist myself to get back in front of the computer and finish what i am doing.

I realise that when i am not doing my assignment or when i procrastinate - i think about those unfinished tasks during the week and become overwhelmed when thoughts come up about doing and finishing the task - so i commit myself to assist myself to be intimate with me as who i am as breath here - as the physical sensation of what i do - as the movement of my physical body - as the presence of who i really am - and to instead of entertaining thoughts, backchats, reactions, pictures, sounds, or desiring to finish an unfinished task in the past - to tell myself to stop - and tell myself that i will put that in my list of tasks to finish - allocate time to do it  - and finish what i am doing in that moment - and if there is a 'call of nature' that i really need to do something to assist the body or the physical existence, i tell myself to stop and tell myself to start another task - and to slow myself down and not be caught up in that - where whatever i see i connect to something that i have not done - to not do that - to instead finish that part of the assignment i am working on according to the time i allocated for that task - breath by breath.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear being controlled when doing an assignment - because i do not like sitting and doing the same thing for a long time and so desires freedom by doing something else - where i have thoughts of getting some nuts/fruits, sweeping the floor, folding the clothes, preparing food etc. - and entertain me as the mind - and imagine that i will feel good by getting up of the chair for a minute - creating an alternate reality within/as my mind where i imagine and think about things i can do to make me happy separating me from the task at hand  - and time - desiring to get up and do something else - justifying it by saying 'i can do my assignment later after i feel better' which is from fear of control - not realising this is me as the mind character that i am giving life to and not who i really am as the real character - equal to the task at hand and the accumulation of my breaths here as time.

I commit myself to stop the fear of being controlled when doing my assignment - and stop the memories as pictures, desires etc. - within and as myself and let go of the the separation within my mind where the task at hand becomes a negative experience and desiring  another activity or task for a positive energy experience and assist myself to bring the task within and as myself - and express me within the task and whatever i create within that practical movement breath by breath as freedom as who i am here in my expression.


I Had A look At The Things I Have To Do Daily and In The Next Blogs I Will Come Up With The List of Things I Have To Do Daily, as My Daily tasks!

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 The Creation of Heaven On Earth

A World That Truly Honors Life

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My Story: His Proposal and My Dating Experience:SF3 Day 172: Prove That You Love Me Part 4 : WAIT

 

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Reference:

http://junejourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/09/wait-prove-that-you-love-me-day-169-sf.html

This is a continuation of the Blog

 http://junejourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/09/the-sory-courtship-games-high-school.html

 In this blog i will continue the self-forgiveness for different characters i played out in the mind's narrative in the previous blog. I am stretching this blog as i saw some characters that i played out that i missed while i was writing the previous blog, so here i will expand on my thoughts and backchats starting with the event when DSS proposed and the sexual experiences i had which is key in me looking at the patterns that i play out - to stop and birth myself here as life.

Stopping the movie that i created in my head about who i am in sex and relationships and what and why i am in sex and relationships to create a real relationship with myself and another as self - in an agreement.

The Proposal:

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within the 
'there he is - i knew it - we'll meet again - and he will be my boyfriend - as the future projection, belief and manifesting a belief - i know' character

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within the  'he's still handsome as he used to be - i so love this guy - i can see his plus points and negative points but his plus points outweigh the negative ones - heart racing -  as the living the past - desire to be in a relationship with someone - happiness' character

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within the 'he's inviting me to attend his father's birthday celebration -  i am now part of the family now that i have accepted his proposal - when he said 'i will lay my cards on the table, i like you' and asking me 'what about you? and me saying 'yes' - as the acceptance of proposal - relationship is happiness' character
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I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within the 'his younger brother is present in that celebration - and he also courted me in high school - he might be jealous - as the doubt - jealous' character


- i did not accept both of their proposal when we were in high school

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within the  'i liked his brother but i said no to him when he cornered me and asked me before entering my grandmother's house - asking me if i liked him as he wrote me letters that he liked me before  - but that's because i am scared , my father said i should not have a boyfriend then - and so i also said no to his brother but i lied - i really liked his brother then - as the suppression - inferior - guilt' character

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within the 'I liked his brother because he was dark skinned, reserved like my dad - but not too intelligent- like my mom - judgment of form, comparison - competition' character

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within the 'I also liked DSS as he is light skinned almost white, and handsome - there's a look of naughtiness in his face combined with a boyish look- as the judgment of form, comparison - competition' character

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within the 'what i don't like about DSS is that he get's angry when slightly provoked - by others but he never gets angry to me - and i am thinking i can tame his anger by my patience  - as the marrying someone who is angry so i can transcend my fear of anger - belief, manifestation of belief - manipulation' character

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Bringing a memory back here of when i was young, an event that happened in the kitchen as i was looking - that relates to :

Anger

Memory of VS angry with my mom and  pulling my mom's hair: 

I forgive myself thati have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within the 'i saw VS pulling the hair of my mom -  i cannot do anything because i am a child - and i am in the family and VS also takes care of me -it 's okay to be angry when you are being taken cared of by that person - as the fear of anger and accepting and allowing abuse in the family'  character

Link
http://junejourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/08/vs-pulling-moms-hair-who-am-i-i-am-i.html

 Memory of Anger in another incident when i had a relationship with RD:

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within the 'he's jealous of me - he's angry - he must love me so much because he gets upset by little things i do - he must be watching everything that i do - that takes time and patience - but i felt diminished when he pulled my hair and threw me on the bed - as the fear of anger, love is violence, self-diminishment,  jealous, victim' character

Note: i will write a blog about this in the coming blogs

Fear of an angry dog

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear an angry dog barking as i imagined the dog hurting me - where i fear my flesh being torn apart - where fear of death and fear of not existing activate - where i can feel my heart beating fast, my stomach churning and me holding my breath.  ===

Let's look again at what happened when we attended the birthday celebration of  DSS's dad - looking at his brother seated right next to me, let's call him DRS:

In the Birthday Celebration Event of his Father:


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within the 'DRS is reserved and good looking but he doesn't have the naughty look of DSS and his intelligence  - but it's interesting to see if he's jealous or not - i can tell if he still loves me just by looking at his eyes and his body movement - as the hoping, i am special, i got 2 people who like me in one family - winning - competition - jealousy as love -happiness' character'

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Let's look at an event when i was young - where i threw myself in front of my mom when she was being approached by a man - preventing him to dance with her - thinking he will take her away from me - where i thought he wanted to dance with my mom in a public event sponsored by our municipality- knowing my dad was abroad i did not want him to dance with her :

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within the 
'I  don't wan't you to dance with my mom - she's mine- she belongs to my family only - i love her - jealousy is love' character
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 Looking at the birthday celebration of DSS's dad again where his brother is seated right next to me:

I forgive myself thati have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within the 'i am seated next to RDS, his back is slightly turned against me - he's shy - he still have feelings for me - i wonder how he will feel now that i just started going out with his brother? He can be jealous - as the hoping, predicting the future - winning comes in bundles - i am special - happiness' character

Deciding to be in a relationship with DSS:
Dating
Sexual Experience

I forgive myself thati have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within the 'he asked me to go out with him - i am excited - this is my first date - i wonder what happens in a date? Will he touch me? I hope he will so i can experience the passion of love making - as the questioning, curious, desire for pleasure, hoping' character

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within the 'I wonder what's it like to be kissed?It must be heart warming - i better brush my teeth - as the i want to be kissed passionately - i want to feel good and look good - as the attracting someone, desire for pleasure and to give pleasure, hoping' character

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within the 'I will put on perfume to smell nice - so when he smell me he would want to touch me and kiss me - as the desire for a relationship, attracting someone, desire for pleasure and sex' character

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within the 'I will put a nice dress on - this yellow dress with prints on it looks sexy and the button in front of the dress will make it easier for him to touch my breast - as the desire to be noticed and desired by the male, desire for pleasure and sex' character

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within the 'I will put on a little make - up, then he will see me as desirable and will want to touch me and have sex with me - as the desire to be liked, desire for pleasure , desire for sex, hoping' character

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within the 'so that was a kiss - now i know how it is done -it feels good because its wet and warm inside his mouth and i can feel his breath on my face  - i am sure i will feel that 'kiss of passion' in the future - and  the thing is, i finally have him as my boyfriend so i am happy - as the hoping- winning, happiness' character

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within the 'when he asked me to touch his 'jade stalk' inside the theater - i was surprised - finally i know how it feels like - it's hard - and then he touched my breast - that was a nice feeling to touch his hard jade stalk and him touching my breast at the same time - i want to have that feeling everyday - i want to marry this guy - we're meant to be together - as the excited, 'falling in love - attraction, satisfaction of desire for sex - relationship- hoping - marriage - happiness' character

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within the 'he wants for  me to come and spend some time in his house - i want him to touch me more - i want to experience sex as i always wondered how they do it - i imagined it will be exciting and passionate - as the hoping, projection, desire for sex -happiness' character

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within the 'i am in his bedroom, the door is shut, we can have sex - will he want to? i am shy to ask him - but i want to experience that feeling again - shy, hoping, hiding -desire for sex - happiness' character

   Jealousy:

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within the 'I better call him everyday - and see if he is not doing what we're doing when we're together with another woman - phone - jealousy' character

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within the 'I better befriend all his family members so i can go to their house often and be welcome - as the i like to be liked and accepted - manipulation' character

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within the 'her sister is  jealous of me - i can tell when i am in their house she comes closer to her brother and sometimes ask him to watch tv in the other room with her and sometimes spoon feeds him when there's some nice dessert she wants him to taste - as the judgment, inferior, comparison, jealousy' character



I commit myself to through writing, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application  stop playing out these characters 

I commit myself to when and as i see myself get jealous - i stop - i breathe. i realise that this is the alternate version of me trying to control the situation - believing that i can control my partner to act in a way that i like him to - within self-interest -  so to assist me to see my partner as me to look at what i am trying to control in my life and write about it and open the points and direct it - and put whatever i see in him back to myself.

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                            Continued on Part 3 - My Sexual Experiences with DSS
                                                                              === 

  References:

Animals:

 http://juneroca.com/animals/5556-2/ 

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Journey To Life  

 The Creation of Heaven On Earth

A World That Truly Honors Life

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My 21 Days Breathing

Daily Blogs

http://juneroca.com/my-process/the-21-days-breathing/

 The 'Late' Character

http://juneroca.com/my-process/the-21-days-breathing/the-late-character/

This is a Continuation of this Blog

http://junejourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/09/the-word-wait-connected-to-word-love.html

Wait: Prove That You Love Me Part 2 SF: Day 170 Characters Jealousy Blame Happiness

Animals:

 http://juneroca.com/animals/5556-2/ 

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Journey To Life  

 The Creation of Heaven On Earth

A World That Truly Honors Life

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About Writing/Blogging

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Store

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SELF-FORGIVENESS

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References:

My 21 Days Breathing

Daily Blogs

http://juneroca.com/my-process/the-21-days-breathing/

This is a Continuation of this Blog

http://junejourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/09/wait-prove-that-you-love-me-day-169-sf.html

My 'Experience' Of The Word Wait

Stopping the Mind Narrative

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within the 'wait for me - you love me don't you? - if you do you'll be patient - i desire to be special and superior - because i feel normal and inferior -manipulation' character  

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within the ''stand and wait for me while i beautify myself to entertain you - because you were so illusive in the past - making me suffer - and now that i got you - you have to suffer also - so we're even - competition in relationships- winning as happiness' character

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within the 'I am important - let him wait and suffer - while i entertain myself - as the blaming him for my suffering when we were in high school - as the blame' character 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within the  'let him suffer - happiness' character

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within the  'I do not like to wait because he might not come - as the shameful, inferior, doubting' character

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within the 'I will make him wait - as he made me wait when we were in high school - as i was attracted to him then - but he did not really pay that much attention to me at that time - as the vengeful, spiteful, blaming' character 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within the 'I enjoy it when someone suffer and wait for me - as love is suffering and waiting - spiteful' character 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within the 'you have proven your love - you are patient - you are the kind that will die for me - you are my kind of a man - i love you - i want to marry you - please ask me now - i like to be married with you - happiness' character

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within the 'love is doubt and manipulation - competing with another - playing the game to win - as the winning in competition desiring to be happy' character


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within the 'show me you are patient by waiting for me and prove you deserve my love - so i can bear your kids -and live happily ever after in a relationship - desiring to be happy' character
''show me you are patient by waiting for me and prove you deserve my love - so i can bear your kids - live ever after - relationship - eternal happiness' character 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within the 'if you become angry and spite me - i will spite you back - as the blaming, spiteful' character
A similar event that happened when i was a child:

 I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within the 
'i am scared to tell her - she will get upset as the suppression and fear of anger desiring to be happy' character 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within the 
 'i am angry and i am blaming you for making me angry because of what you did as the blame and spiteful -yet after  eating tasty food you made - my blame turned to love for you - entertainment as happiness' character

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within the  'you made me feel unimportant and inferior - so i am blaming you - blame' character 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within the 
'where are you going?  what are you doing? -i am  suspicious that you are hiding something - blaming you as the suspicious, jealous, blaming' character

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within the   'i will not say anything - just give me food and make me happy - to make me forget what you did - entertain me - food bribe happiness' character

As My Mom:

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within the 'i am wandering and not taking responsibility for letting others in the family know where i am going - as the self - interest first, freedom seeking, i don't care ' character 

Let's look at my childhood - where i feel controlled when my dad tells me to ask permission before i go out and tell him where i am going :

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within the 'ask permission before you go anywhere and tell me where you are going - i am your dad and you are my child - possessive - superior- controlling' character  - where i followed what he said and just stayed at the house and served him coffee - defining me within the 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within the 'serving my dad coffee - i am a good child - suppression - inferior - i like to preserve peace - fear of anger and punishment - peace is happiness' character 


As My Mom:

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within the 'you are procrastinating - do what you're told - finish the house - inferior trying to be superior - disgusted - desiring a nice house - controlling' character 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within the  'he's okay - he loves me - so let him be -being liked as justification to being self-dishonest - as the i like to be liked' character

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within the 'desire to always agree with someone - to preserve peace - desiring happiness' character

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within the 'fear of upsetting someone - suppression' character


As My Dad:
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within the 'ask permission before you go anywhere and tell me where you are going - i am your dad and you are just my child - possessive - superior - controlling' character


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within the 'making you coffee - inferior - pleasing dad - as the suppression, happiness' character

More Self-forgiveness for self-definition in the coming blogs