The Word' Difficult' Day 250 Connection Mathematics

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The Word 'Difficult'

Topic: 

Releasing the energy charge and equalizing myself with the word 'difficult'

as who i am in relation to symbols that form words and sentences which i use to express myself here - as i birth myself as Life

Why am I Using Mathematics?

I am using mathematical symbols at the end of this post to show an example of MIND values i have given the words i connected to the word  'difficult' - which are NOT REAL  and showing the real value of words as living words.

Why am i using Self-forgiveness?
http://juneroca.com/my-process/self-forgiveness/

I am using  self-forgiveness and writing a commitment to correct myself in how i use this word in my living application 
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Self-forgiveness Statements:

Separation
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the word difficult through giving it a positive value
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the word difficult through giving it a negative value

Charging It with A Positive and a Negative Value
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to charge the word difficult with a positive value
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to charge the word difficult with a negative value

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Positive Connections/Definitions 
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word difficult to the word intelligent
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word difficult within the word intelligent

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word difficult to the word analyze
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word difficult within the word analyze

I forgive myself that i have accepted and alowed myself to connect the word difficult to the word think
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word difficult within the word think

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word difficult to the word solve
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word difficult within the word solve
 
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word difficult to the word rest
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word difficult within the word rest

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word difficult to the word challenge
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word difficult within the word challenge

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Negative Connections/Definitions
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word difficult to the word understanding
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word difficult within the word understanding

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word difficult to the word problem
 I forgive myself that i  have accepted and allowed myself to define the word difficult within the word problem

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word difficult to the word assignment
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself tio define the word difficult within the word assignment

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word difficult to the word process
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word difficult within the word process

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word difficult to the word stop
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word difficult within the word stop

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word difficult to the word procrastination
 I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word difficult within the word procrastination

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word difficult to the word postponement 
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word difficult within the word postponement 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word difficult to the word give-up
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word difficult within the word give-up  

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Commitment to Correction Script


I commit myself to when and as i see myself 
fearing losing
using the word 'difficult' to win


I stop 
I breathe


I realize that  as i participate in the design on fear of survival
i fear losing
using the word 'difficult' so i can win

within writing, speaking and backchats

I commit myself to redefine the word 'difficult' and live the word 
as an expression of who i am, what i am and how i am

I commit myself to when and as i see myself separating from the word 'difficult'
through giving it a positive or a negative value
I stop
I breathe

I realize that giving the word 'difficult' a positive value
is  me wanting to win
because i fear losing
so i can have a positive energy experience

I realize that giving the word 'difficult' a negative value
is me fearing to lose 
so postpones doing a task for example
where instead of facing my fear
i use the word 'difficult' to run away from my fear
then seek out other words to win


I commit myself to before using this word
be clear within myself
making sure there are no movements within myself 

I commit myself to through writing, self-forgiveness 
and self-corrective application
rewrite the book within myself 
equal to and one with how i created myself 
through words spoken within my mind
creating myself through writing words, speaking words
and expressing myself through words
 
I commit myself to assist myself to accept and allow me to
here ('hear') what is here as pure sound
assisting myself to integrate it into a beingness physical level
in equality and oneness
that self will become that word as a living remembrance of it

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The Mathematics of Giving Positive and Negative Values
Vs
Giving Values Equal to Life

I realized that i gave positive and negative values
through connecting/defining the word 'difficult
to/within other words

'as in'

Positive Connections/Definitions

intelligent = +100
analyze = +100
think = +10
solve = +100 
rest = +10
challenge = +100


Negative Connections/Definitions


understanding = -10
problem = -10
assignment = -100
process = -10
procrastination = -100
postponement = -100
give-up = - 10'

I realized that the values i had given these words 
are mind values that are not real

realizing thatthe word 'difficult' is a word 
composed of letters as symbols 
that we sound
as who we are
and it is to use words as equal to who i am
equal to my expression

I commit myself to assist myself to look at the origin points of when this started and move myself to look at how i evolved this point to transcend this point.

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Quote:
 '...how one will be able to use pure sound and integrate it into  a beingness physical level in equality and onesness that  self will become that word as a living remembrance of it...' 
Parenting: Perfecting the Human Race Part 2 Interview by Sunette Spies

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'I Want To Do Something Now!' Day 187 Postponement Character fear Dimension 2

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This is a continuation of this Blog

http://junejourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/10/what-to-do-when-bored-shoulders-are.html

I forgive myself that i haven't accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand how i still, place my wants needs and desires before physical, reality responsibility that will determine my relationship to me, others and my future in this world - in this utilizing the postponement character as a means to justify 'making myself feel better' for placing my wants and desires before physical practical responsibility where i as the postponement character initiate the reactions of fear of missing out/losing out on that something else - event - if i place responsibility before my want and needs and so allows myself to manipulate myself with fear in relationship to my wants and needs instead of being here, stable in/as breath qne doing things that needs to be done.

I forgive myself that i haven't accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand how i would still, to this day, with facing a responsibility, blame the education system, my teachers, parents or even the responsibility itself  as taking away from me the fulfillment of my wants and needs in moments in time where i know i have to tend to responsibilities but wants to satisfy my wants, desires and needs first - and so will blame education, assignment, teachers, professors, parents - anything/anyone i can blame/exert my own inner conflict to, as i know what i am accepting and allowing that i am angry and frustrated with myself in this inner battle between my wants, needs and desires and the responsibilities or tasks that is here before me

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to blame everything/everyone else for 'taking away' my opportunities/time to satisfy my wants, needs and desires  - where i justify me satisfying my wants before tending to the practical physical reality responsibilities

I forgive myself that i haven't accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand how i still from childhood hold onto this relationship or conflict with time and the here of my world/ reality within the relationship to responsibility - as i still from childhood place my wants before my life in this world and reality

I forgive myself that i haven't accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand how we've created this world system - this entire entertainment world - which is the postponement world system - with its prerogative entertaining and catering to the wants and needs of humans - the entire living condition of 'i want it now' - that which money can buy - where humans  place their wants and desires before their responsibility to humanity and this world as a whole - facing the consequences of placing wants and needs before what is here as our responsibility to this physical existence - establishing real solutions to manifest a heaven on earth where there's physical balance between preference and responsibility - instead of a minority satisfying my wants and desires in the expense of the rest of humanity and this physical existence


I commit myself to assist me to no more accept and allow the fear of missing out on my wants to overpower and control me in moments of facing reponsibility - as i see and realise i am not really missing out on anything  - this indicate that i need to sort out my definition/priorities regarding what responsibility is in fact in relationship to myself. my world and my future within it

I commit myself to stop blaming others for the responsibilities i require doing, stop placing my wants before reality as the physical that is real and get into the grips of reality - realising that nothing can change unless i get my priorities straight - in seeing that whatever  i see in my mind is not real if it exist at the sacrifice of humanity with the wants i possess  in my life through money and money's relationship to humanity and this existence as a whole.

I commit myself to instead of satisfying my wants and desires - stand and decide for what is best for all

I commit myself to through writing, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application - stop the memories, as pictures, desires  etc.  within and as myself and let go of the separation within and as myself and stand with the physical in every breath that i take.

Strict Piano Teacher: Postponement : Fear Dimension Day 186

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This is A Continuation of My Previous Blog:

http://junejourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/10/what-to-do-when-bored-shoulders-are.html

Postponement Character

My 'Strict' Piano Teacher 

Fear Dimension

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that i haven't accepted and allowed myself to as a child see, realise and understand the concept of time, of space and time, and practical, physical reality responsibility and consequence as i had primarily in my childhood years lived in the' happy - please me - i am your child' world, where i immediately satisfy my wants, needs and desires and preferences and then unexpectedly facing responsibility was something that i was interpreting as taking my want and desire away - believing that i will never get it or have it again completely locked into the idea/belief about time, not seeing, realising and understanding that it's not that i will not get it at all, it's just that responsibility comes first 

let's look at when my mom enrolled me in a piano lesson - where my teacher is very strict and has a small stick on her hand about to slap me on the hand when i make a mistake in my touching the piano keys - where i connected responsibility to doing something that will cause me pain and suffering - and something boring -fearing responsibility - and then live that as an adult within postponing to do my responsibilities and then blame the piano teacher and judge music as bad - when i could take responsibility rather than blame 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to manipulate myself with reactions of and the mind constructs of:

*Fear of learning something based on fear of suffering based from an experience of when i was a child learning piano - where i connected the stick of the teacher to suffering

-  imagining she will hit me with that stick 

-  guilty that i did not practice that music piece that was assigned to me 

- procrastinating in practicing piano 

- justifying that by thinking that i have to go to my cousins house to practice piano - as at that time we did not have a piano
within 'shyness' to stop taking self-responsibility - where i procrastinated to go to my cousins house to practice piano -  

- Believing that i am inferior to my cousins because we don't have a piano and they have one - within jealousy - designing competition - where i stopped myself from taking responsibility - which i acted out in my life - and within all this because of my 'too lateness' in my practicing piano - i created another character of 'i don't care'

*Regret that i have not taken self-responsibility to take time and take responsibility in practicing the piece of music that was assigned for me to practice - within fear that i will commit mistakes - and justify procrastinating through blaming my teacher and music - and instead of practicing playing the piano, i did what i desire to do - and get the positive energy experience out of talking and laughing with my relatives and friends and eating food with them - which is what i used the most to entertain me as the mind.

- having the consequential outflow of me not being able to play music as an adult

- Desires to learn music as an adult - but blames the teacher for not giving me the basics to music 

- when i can take self-responsibility to teach myself the basics of music by looking at music as equal to my expression - and redefining the word music


Without seeing , realising and understanding that i am in fact in this, angry and frustrated with myself for having postponed practicing the piece assigned to me, when i knew what i was doing as the 'postponement' character - but did not stop myself and did not take responsibility.

Self-commitment

To recreate me as Someone that can be Trusted to Stand For What Is Best for All 

 I commit myself to assist and support me to see, realise and understand how i can no more accept and allow me to in moments of responsibility want to satisfy my wants, needs and desires first before getting to the task or responsibility - because if i make my wants as priority - this means i cannot be trusted in my own life in relation to determining what is best for me in this world/reality in my hands and get things done in prioritizing me/my time in such a way that i get to do the responsibilities first that will assist me in my self-perfection process and then afford some time to do what i prefer to do - 

I commit myself to when and as i see myself fearing suffering, i stop - i breathe and  walk back and see what fear created this fear of suffering, - and seeing that it is my fear of not existing within fear of  death - of me - not realizing the 'me' that i believe is me is not real aware - and that it's awareness of me in separation of me as all life - and so assist myself to be AWARE of me as the physical/body/substance - the plant's body, the animal's body, the body of the earth etc. - as all life

I commit myself to instead of creating another personality when i am faced with the consequence of 'too lateness' as the 'i do not care' character - i stop - i breathe - and allocate the tasks within the day where i can do what's needed to be done - using commonsense that if i do not know what to do or how to do a task or not having the needed equipments to do the task - write down what is commonsensical to do at that moment to finish the task and when and how - specific to where i can finish and do it.

I commit myself to assist myself to redefine and use the words responsibility, assignment and music - as equal to my expression.

What To Do When 'Bored', 'Shoulders Are Getting Tight, Eyes Getting Heavy Etc.: Day 184 'Postponement' Character Commitments

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 The Creation of Heaven On Earth

A World That Truly Honors Life

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SELF-FORGIVENESS

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This Blog is A Continuation of These 2 Blogs:

This Blog Is A Continuation of This Blog 

Part 1

http://junejourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/10/what-do-i-do-next-i-might-forget-day.html

Part 2

http://junejourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/10/i-have-so-many-tasks-to-do-postponement.html

Part 3

 http://junejourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/10/from-boredom-to-excitement-day-182.html

Part 4

http://junejourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/10/its-long-im-bored-nah-ill-do-something.html

'Postponement' Character

Part 5

Commitment

Self-Correction

In this blog i am writing what to do when i see myself going into an 'negative energy experience'  of internally tightness of shoulders 

I commit myself to when and as i see myself starting to work on a task - to assist and support me when my internal physical condition start changing - with reference to  tightness of the shoulders, stomach cramping/cringing: to see, realise and understand that  at this stage i have already 'gone too far' within my character possession in the physical body as i am already in the process of physically manipulating me into getting a 'negative energy experience' instead of remaining here as breath as physical stability and getting the task done.

I commit myself to when and as i have already 'gone too far' as in manifesting a  mind possession to a physical condition - where from boredom and apathy - i am manifesting my eyes getting heavier, my shoulders tightening etc. - to assist myself to lift my chin up, straighten my body, clap twice and wake myself up and get the task done  - as in writing or reading something- doing a blog, doing an assignment or doing my recipe book and doing other things that needs to be done - and realise that in my current accepted and allowed relationship with who i am to the mind - where i allow the mind to have power over me or my directive will - and so create an experience of it being more difficult to stand through a point where a personality has already taken over -  'experiencing it' as though it is more difficult to stand and change. So I commit myself to not accept and allow myself to have this experience overwhelm me or dissuade me from standing and changing - to immediately pull myself up - clap twice and bring myself back here - and do the task - as i see, realise and understand that at that moment it is easier to do something else that will give me a 'positive energy experience' as though it is easier to fall and not stand and follow the positive -from my mind into reality - so here i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to  - in such moments, essentially my 'last opportunity of change when the personality or character is manifested as my behaviours in the physical -to give up - instead of utilizing that moment that can either take me to the mind or stand and change - to NOT accept and allow me to give in or give up to energy or use the advancement of energy possession as an excuse or justification - to instead stand by and with me - apply self-directive will as the physical breath as support to pull myself up and stand and change and physically sit up straight and comfortably and get to doing the task - journey to life blog, DIP assignment, Agreement course assignment, Integrative nutrition assignment, food preparation, driving, agreement cross-referencing and physical interaction,  doingness business document updates, recipe book creation, social network updates etc. 

I commit myself to when i can see there's no mind dimension activating but self went into energy into and as the reaction of anxiety, boredom and apathy - manipulating the physical body to the condition of 'i don't want to do it now' - i assist myself to push through and pull myself up, take a breath and do the task and NOT let self give up on self in that moment and give in to the mind without any change in ones world/reality.

I commit myself to NOT give into the 'easiness' of energy and the mind within 'positive energy experiences'  and not give up on reality and responsibility to self  and self's world in this real physical existence- and assist myself to see that it is NOT DIFFICULT to stand up and take a breathe and get the task done.

I commit myself to assist myself  - to NOT give in to temptation of doing something else that will give me a 'positive energy experience' - where i end up doing nothing to get the task done in reality accumulating the consequencies in this physical real world.

I commit myself to assist myself to see realise and understand that within my writing, self-forgiveness and self- corrective application - i am preparing self to stand within moments of change - so with the the postponement character activating - i know how it activates and what internal physical changes occur within and in my behaviour  - so releasing self from the energy relationship to all the dimensions to establish a realisation that 

'Yeah! i can actually self-direct me to stop  participation in my thoughts, imaginations, internal conversations and reactions and within that stopping participation - change me in that moment

- and within the self-commitments  - the realisation in the self-forgiveness where one establish a blueprint of practical application of how to in fact change ' who i am'  from the mind character to the real character - that moves oneself into physical, practical application

- so that when i come to moments of change - where i physically realise -  my  eyes are getting heavy, the balls of my feet pressed against the floor - heels up, my eyes staring blankly on something, my hands pressing on both sides of my cheeks, my hand combing my hair, my forehead creased, my stomach crimping/cramping, reactions of anxiety, boredom and apathy, my upper arm on the table with my hands on the back of my head and my face close to the table etc. - that i have prepared myself and i know what i am accepting and allowing at this moment that i have prepared self with a practical application of change such as breathing/standing - and so realising this is an example of a moment of now taking the preparation and LIVING IT and APPLYING IT, actually being the CHANGE in that moment

I commit myself to expose myself and others - where through GIVING IN TO 'GOOD FEELINGS' , the EASINESS of the MIND' - where we have evolved creating religions, spiritual movements, channelers  that give us GOOD FEELINGS within our mind - where there's no living  participation in this actual real world  - as we are seeking a 'positive energy experience' by going SOMEWHERE out THERE - in heaven, nirvana etc, rather than establish a world that truly honors LIFE HERE - and CREATE HEAVEN INTO/AS EARTH - a new system based on EQUALITY

I commit myself to NOT POSTPONE our responsibility here to myself and to all as ourself   - to stop ACCUMULATING the CONSEQUENCE by postponing our responsibility - so to stop postponing and start taking responsibility - as we do not want to take this physical existence to a point where it gets so bad - THAT ONLY THEN WILL WE REALISE:

 THERE IS NO PRAYER, NO LOVE, NO LIGHT, NO ALIENS, NO SPACESHIP, NO JESUS, NO BUDDHA, NO ENLIGHTENED MASTER WILL COME AND SAVE US 

REALISING - WE HAVE TO INDIVIDUALLY WALK OUR SELF-PERFECTION PROCESS AND LOOK AT HOW WE CREATED OURSELVES WITHIN AS THE MIND AND THIS WORLD 'WITHOUT' - TO STOP WHAT WE CREATED OURSELVES TO BE AND BECOME AND RECREATE A NEW SELF THAT CAN BE ALWAYS TRUSTED - ONE THAT STANDS FOR WHAT IS BEST FOR ALL.

AND ASSIST IN ESTABLISHING A WORLD THAT TRULY HONORS LIFE

From 'Boredom To Excitement' Day 182 : 'Postponement ' Character : Physical Behaviour

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 The Creation of Heaven On Earth

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Reference:
 http://heavensjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/10/character-dimensions-reaction-dimension_3.html

This Blog Is A Continuation of This Blog 

Part 1

http://junejourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/10/what-do-i-do-next-i-might-forget-day.html

Part 2

http://junejourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/10/i-have-so-many-tasks-to-do-postponement.html

'Postponement' Character Part 3

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that i  have accepted and allowed myself to have a relationship with my physcical body  from within and as thought, imagination, backchat and reactions within the energy of anxiety, apathy, boredom  - that through energy as the mind and from dimensions of the mind, in an alternate reality -where i am an alternate version of myself - separate myself from the physical body - and manifested the physical responses of-  front ball of the feet on the floor and the heels of the feet up away from the floor - my eyes gazing at the pebbles outside the window, my neck turned left - and then changing - where my hands are holding the  back sides of my head , elbow on the table and face facing down on the table, eyes looking up, the front of the body thrown on top of the table -with churning, cringing, cramping in the pit of my stomach and heaviness in my eyes

I forgive myself that i haven't accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand or even comprehend  the fact that i am altering, changing and manipulating my physical body and its stability/naturalness through and as energy of thought, backchat, imaginations, reactions etc.in the physical

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to for so long believe this to be normal in how i manipulate, , change and alter the 'experience' of me in and as the physical body and how my relationship to the physical body is based on an experience i create in an alternate reality within /as my mind from thought, imagination, backchat, reactions that define who i am as an experience in the physical never seeing what i am doing with my physical body with manipulating the experience within self-interest never questioning what the physical is going through as i am too preoccupied with the energies of a character i am possessed within

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the physical body that i am more preoccupied with thoughts, backchats, imagination and reaction within anxiety, apathy and boredom that while it is going on i can feel to a relative extent that my eyes are heavy, my neck and face is turning left - my eyes gazing blankly to the pebbles outside the window - the front ball of the feet pressing against the floor and the back of the feet turned up away from the floor - my arms on the table, and face facing the table with my hands holding both sides of my head  - and use this as manipulation tactic , excuse/ justification to follow the 'positive or create the positive' in my mind - that i do not stop in that moment - never questioning why my body is physically changing - 'i am stable a moment ago' , 'what is really happening here?' What am i accepting and allowing here?' - but no i did not investigate - i just created a relationship in my mind - manipulate my experience in the physical/body and use my creation in the physical as excuse, justification and reason to manipulate myself into getting my want, need and desire as postponement of my responsibility to me and the physical and my life in this world for a positive energy experience

More to follow...