'What Do I do Next?' 'I Might Forget': ' Day 179: 'Postponement' Character

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    SELF-FORGIVENESS

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    'Postponement' Character Blogs
    http://juneroca.com/my-process/the-21-days-breathing/the-late-character/
    
    
    
    I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect me, my experience of me and my definition of me to a thought of seeing myself looking at the computer noticing that i had been working in the computer for a while - having a thought 'what do i do next?- where i am seeing myself bored and thinking that i do not have freedom and is controlled by being there for a long time - and in that accepting and allowing myself to become an energy-experience of boredom - and in that moment accept and allow the thought and experience of boredom - as this is what i have become in that moment
    
    
    I forgive myself that i haven't accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand how with that thought coming up in my conscious mind and me relating to the image resonating boredom - as the initial negative -- that if i accept and allow to connect to it, relate to it or participate in it - where i in any way believe that that thought is me - i will accordingly become it and experience it
    
    
    I forgive myself that i haven't accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand how i have accepted and allowed thoughts as memories and my experience towards it - to decide who i am in a moment -instead of me directing who i am in every moment of breath
    
    
    I commit myself to when and as i see myself connect me, my experience of me and my definition of me to the thought 'what do i do next?' - i stop - i breathe - i realise that who i am is not the negative energy experience of boredom and i realise that who i am is not the positive energy experience of wanting to see what should i do next - to make myself believe that i am finished and is going to finish another task - where in a way i am seeking the moreness of me within stopping what i am doing and starting another one - believing that i am doing more - where i am deceiving myself - where in fact i am participating in a thought - directed by the mind - so to assist myself to rather than be directed by an experience - to instead of an energy experience connection - which leads to postponement develop a self-aware seeing and form a self-agreement to establish directive will to not participate in the energy and actually move oneself to finish the task that one is doing - and take a breath when and as the thought arise and apply myself in completing the task that i have committed to finish - seeing and realising that if i do not apply myself it will more often than not lead me to consequence and compromise to my relationship to self, my life and others .
    
    
    I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to participate in imagination of seeing that i can finish so many tasks at once - where i am seeking the 'moreness' of me - within a perceived positive energy experience - in a future time - and also seeing that i might forget to do that task in my mind - - within a perceived negative energy experience and then creating a perceived positive experience by getting up and doing the task while leaving the task i am doing at that moment - and within and as the imagination accepted and allowed myself to connect me, my awareness a, my definition and my experience of me into a reaction of excitement and anxiety respectively
    
    
    I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to 'visualize' the amount of time it will take me to finish the task - and within that 'visualise' the energy experience of excitement and anxiety respectively and seeing how excited i am going to feel when i finish the tasks i imagined and how much anxiety i will have if i will not remember the tasks i just thought about if i do not stand up and do it respectively - and within the anxiety - experience also regret that i did not do the task when i thought about it
    
    
    I forgive myself that i haven't accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand how i have taken reality and imagine an alternate version of it within/as my mind spending moments as breaths participating in the reaction of excitement , anxiety - and regret respectively - within the imagination - instead of me simply applying myself in that moment and moving me to complete the task.
    
    
    I forgive myself that i haven't accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand that to change my definition and experience within/as my mind does not in fact mean i have changed in fact. i have to move me and manifest me as an actual physical manifested solution within my finishing the task and doing it as per i have directed me to do.
    
    
    I commit myself to when and as i see myself imagining i can finish so many tasks at once and being excited about it - i stop - i breathe and clap my hands twice to bring me back here and slow myself down and finish the task - seeing realising and understanding that it is me seeking the 'moreness' of me as an alternate version of me within/as my mind - and that doing the task and finishing it as what i directed me to do is me as the real character - as flesh - here moving me in self-directive will.
    
    
    I commit myself to when and as i see myself imagining i might forget the task i imagined in my mind - to instead of stopping the task i am doing - to realise, see and understand that is is me as the alternate version of me manipulating me to live as the 'posponement' character - and to see, realise and understand that who i am is here - as flesh - moving me to do what i directed me to do within my schedule of tasks to do and so to assist myself to finish what i directed me to do.
    
    
    I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to speak to my own thoughts and imaginations within my mind as response to the imagination and energy experience within the words of 'what do i do next' this seems to be going okay - i got this under control, what else needs to be done? If i do not do this now, i will forget about this ' - where i have transformed words into thoughts, memories, images, fantasies within/as my mind within the context of the energy experiences as reactions of excitement, anxiety and regret respectively connected to it - where i have allowed the energy relationship and mind relationship to words to define me and move me in determining who i am - instead of me in self-awareness living words as the living flesh and so has become the 'postponement'  character in a dream world of the mind- instead of as the real character living in a physical world here
    
    I commit myself to when and as i see myself speak to my own thoughts and imaginations within my mind - i stop - i breathe. I realise that this is me as the alternate version of me within/as my mind as the 'posponement' character wanting to survive in an alternate reality within my mind - transforming words into thoughts, memories, images and fantasies within/as my mind within reactions of excitement, anxiety and regret respectively connected to the backchat - so to assist myself to instead of accepting and allowing an energy relationship and mind relationship to words to define me and move me - assist me to move me in self-awareness living words as the living flesh to birth me as the real character - moving in self-directive will to finish my task.
    
    
    Reaction dimension to follow

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