This is a continuation of this Blog
My Experience Of 'Desire for Eternal Happiness'
Through
'Desire To live Simply - Not Wanting Earthly Possessions'
===
'Not Wanting To Wear Jewelries'
And Losing a lot Of Jewelries Given to Me By My Mom
===
Realization
I realise that i separated myself from what is here as this physical existencel/substance
- where i judged jewelries as possessions being made for the rich
- connecting them to rich people and money and affluence and riches
- where i connected happiness in having jewelries and others looking at me as special because i have expensive jewelries
- as 'FLEETING HAPPINESS' that will END
- I connected jewelries to 'fleeting happiness' - as 'people 'liking me and me being happy only for that short amount of time - which i know will change as i may lose the jewelry or i may become poor and sell the jewelry'
- I also connected jewelries to one of the ten commandments of Moses 'thou shalt have no other gods before me' - and so being guilty of violating this commandment - and connecting owning jewelries to 'going to hell' (which i connected to suffering and pain), 'not getting liberation', 'not getting salvation' etc.
- and so because of this IDEA in my head
- and the idea of Aparigraha -
Wikipedia says:
it means to limit possessions to what is necessary or important, which changes with the time period, though sadhus would not have any possessions
- and the idea of Aparigraha -
Wikipedia says:
it means to limit possessions to what is necessary or important, which changes with the time period, though sadhus would not have any possessions
I DESIRE 'ETERNAL HAPPINESS'
- my IDEA of 'Eternal Happiness' being - 'going to heaven' (which i connected to 'living comfortably and being eternally happy with Jesus' ) and so desiring also 'enlightenment/salvation/nirvana' - just in case the Jesus story will not hold true when i die - i will also 'go to nirvana'
- so i can be sure that whatever story is true - i will be 'FREE from SUFFERING and PAIN'
which is based on my fears:
FEAR of Suffering
(belief that one is not whole, stable and content)
(belief that one is not whole, stable and content)
FEAR of HELL
(stories saying it is hot in hell - fire everywhere- so fear of fire also)
FEAR of PAIN
(belief that i will die and so - fears the 'thought that one day i will die' and it will 'come sooner' when i am subjected to pain)
My perceived 'IDEAL PEOPLE were Jesus and Buddha' and my 'Guru'
- as they turned their back from - everything relating to money and 'mundane happiness' or 'fleeting happiness' and gave themselves 'Eternal happiness'
What i did not see, realise and understand is:
THESE ARE ALL STORIES as 'RELIGOUS TALES' !
which i read from books or heard from people in churches, temples etc.
-which i took as MY TRUTH
-not seeing, realising and understanding that the PRINCIPLE OF LIFE is:
Oneness and Equality as ALL .
What is Commonsensical To Do?
Equalize myself with what is here - as the physical/substance as i am made from the same substance all are made of
Correcting Myself
I commit myself to when and as i see myself separating myself from the physical/substance/matter
- where i judged jewelries as less than me because i connected them to hell, not being enlightened or not getting liberation/salvation
-based on my fear of suffering, fear of hell, fear of pain
I STOP - I BREATHE.
I change my starting point
'From'
Deciding based on creating the negative FEAR of suffering, pain and hell - then Desiring the positive within Desiring 'eternal happiness'
through YOGA, AM MEDITATION, PRAYING TO JESUS, ZEN MEDITATION etc.
'To'
Bringing myself back here as reality as who i am as flesh - as blood - as the breath in this body
Let go of the separation within/as myself - by not going within my mind and fearing pain and suffering then desiring eternal happiness etc.
Let go of the memories as 'unawareness' character as fears, desires etc. within/as myself
To instead of fearing losing jewelries
I use them as an expression of who i am
and assisting in establishing a world that truly honors life based on equality - where they will not be used for profit and self-interest
To instead of having thoughts as in:
'I Live Simply, I Wear No Jewelries'
'I do not want earthly possessions'
- I stop thinking and take a breath. I clap twice and bring myself back here and - I look at how i created the thought - direct it through writing, self-forgiveness and self corrective application - and simply live as who i am equal to all that is here
To instead of imagining that i am like Jesus or Buddha - 'not attached to jewelry and possession'
- I stop imagining or going to an alternate reality within my mind - and see what is here - as who i am - as flesh - as blood - equal to all that is here
To instead of having backchats or internal conversations within my mind - separating myself from reality by going within my mind
- I stop my backchats or internal conversations - and see what is here as what is real - as who i am as flesh - as blood - and simply live as who i am equal to all that is here
To instead of reacting in guilt when i lost something -separating myself from reality by going within my mind
-I stop and breathe - and understand that i am not going to correct myself by having guilt - rather, i will activate other sub-characters relating to guilt - so to assist myself to bring myself back here - and walk back and see where i last put it - and find it - and if i can't find it - i take a breath forgive myself, and release the guilt - write a blog and correct myself - by taking responsibility in being aware of what i am wearing and where i put them
To instead of using my mind and manipulate the physical body and justify my desires for eternal happiness - within stiff shoulders, holding my breath, slouching on the chair etc.
- I stop - i breathe -and understand the games i play in my mind with dimensions, energies as personalities, and how i manipulate who i am in the mind through how the physical body respond to energies /my instructions - i bring myself to the natural stability of breath here - discovering the true expression of the physical that does not depend on energy
To instead of fearing suffering - not being whole, content and stable - creating a relationship with fear
-I stop - i breathe and simply look at how i created all the charcaters in my head and release the energy through self-forgiveness, writing and correct myself in my daily living - and simply live as who i am - whole, content and stable as the breath here that nature provides for me to be - unconditionally
To instead of Fearing pain, death and the end- creating a relationship with fear
- I stop and breathe - embracing pain, death and the end - as the consequence of what i have accepted and allowed by separating myself from all - and using the mind to get energy from the body and within this,
Through writing, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application - release myself from what i created as the creator of my within and without' creating the 'beginning and the 'end' - and embracing all of me here - as Life.
To instead of fearing hell, fire and heat - and imagining the pain of burning in fire - creating a relationship with fear
- I stop and breathe - and assist myself to through writing, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application - realise that i can use fire in assisting me in my living application here - to make fire in the fireplace during winter to stabilize the temperature of my body and many other uses.
I FORGIVE MYSELF THAT I HAVE ACCEPTED AND ALLOWED MYSELF TO WITHIN MY CREATING A RELATIONSHIP WITH FEAR OF PAIN AND DYING - DESIRE ETERNAL HAPPINESS - AND DESIRE TO LIVE A SIMPLE LIFE LIKE THE MONKS - JUDGING THEM AS BETTER THAN THE RICH PEOPLE - NOT REALIZING THAT BOTH ARE SUPPORTING A SYSTEM BASED ON INEQUALITY
TO INSTEAD OF JUDGING THE MONKS AS MORE THAN MYSELF AND THE RICH AS LESS THAN ME - AS I DESIRE ETERNAL HAPPINESS AND JUDGE THE RICH AS MORE THAN ME AND THE POOR LESS THAN ME - AS I DESIRE TO SURVIVE - IN THIS CURRENT MONETARY SYSTEM BASED ON INEQUALITY
-TO ASSIST IN ESTABLISHING A NEW SYSTEM BASED ON EQUALITY - WHERE ALL WILL GET THE BASIC NECESSITIES TO SURVIVE IN DIGNITY
-TO ASSIST IN ESTABLISHING A NEW SYSTEM BASED ON EQUALITY - WHERE ALL WILL GET THE BASIC NECESSITIES TO SURVIVE IN DIGNITY
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