This is a Continuation of these Blogs
I am extending the 'solution blueprint for the 'postponement' character
'indefinitely' until done. I am doing it in conjunction with the 21 days breathing which I will also do 'indefinitely' until done
I found out in working with allocating the tasks that i have to do for the day, that i created a relationship with time - where i wanted to fit all tasks in one day and then try to do them all in a day. I tried to sleep between 6 or 7 am and sleep for 6 hrs and then wake up at about 12 noon and do the same cycle. I found out that i had been self-dishonest within this because i am racing with time trying to beat it. So, I am at the moment working on spreading the tasks i have to do for a day to where i can put some tasks as weekly tasks.There is hesitation to do this - as i defined myself within - a belief that when i finished all the tasks in a day - i will be special. There is also a hesitation to use the google calendar and write down the tasks i have to do - believing it is not necessary because i know the things i have to do. I will do some self-forgiveness for points that i saw and commitment statements and correct myself in my breath by breath moment by moment application. I will in the blogs to come redefine some words also.
Problem Blueprint:
The 21 Days Breathing And The 'Postponement' Character
When i postpone my birthing process - birthing process, meaning - i am aware of me as breath here in every moment
I become 'unaware'of who i really am as i do my daily tasks.
Doing tasks from a 'separation awareness' starting point - rather than from a true starting point.
Even if i finish a lot of tasks, it is me as the alternate version of me trying to win - as i compete with time - within my mind - judging myself within the number of tasks i do -working for the reward - which is a 'positive energy experience' - not realizing that the positive always come from a negative - as 'fear of taking responsibility for all parts of me here - as life', ' evolving the negative more'
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Self-forgiveness
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to create a relationship with time
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that i have to do all the tasks i have to do in one day - believing that if i don't i will not be special - that i will be a failure as i have seen people who work so fast and finish many things in one day - believing that is the best thing for me to do - where within this is my fear of failure that is directing my desire to finish all tasks in one day - not realising it is not how many tasks i do - it is who i am in what i do.- where my starting point matter.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that i can evolve myself and get a reward if i become good in organizing - feeling happy when i do - and fearing to fail if i don't - not wanting to let people know that i have been good at starting and not finishing - where i do all i can in the beginning and then give up when it is about to be finished - getting a 'positive energy experience' out of the challenge - the evil me hiding within my mind - with a smiling face and smooth operating facade - not seeing and realising that when i cover my evil deeds with positive light - i am evolving the 'negative' more, and one day i will have to take self-responsibility for it anyway - but i 'd postpone accumulating consequence - instead of taking self-responsibility here as i am here as breath at this moment.
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I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to evolve the negative which is fear of failure , more instead of facing my fears to stop my endless search for happiness and birth me here as life
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the day starts at 1 am and ends at 12 midnight - and that my awareness starts from when i wake up and ends when i sleep - not realising that my 'unawareness' is a limitation i imposed on myself - and that when i drop the veil - or stop creating an alternate reality within my mind using energy from the body - i can stop my dellusion and can see clearly what is here
Commitment To Correction:
I commit myself to when and as i see myself postponing birthing me as breath here - to look at the point i am accepting and allowing to exist within myself that sabotage my self-perfection process - and through writing, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application - assist myself to see how the point/problem started and then apply myself to correct myself breath by breath - change my starting point - and stand.
I commit myself to when and as i see myself creating a relationship with time - where i am trying to win against time - for a positive energy experience - i stop - i breathe - and instead of doing that i stabilize me as who i am as breath and do the tasks - as equal to my expression, redefining words as i go.
I commit myself to when and as i see myself coming from a starting point of fear - of failure - i stop - i breathe - realising that desire to win within competition driven by fear of losing is me as the mind - and not who i really am as the physical/body - as the body of the earth, as the animal of life, the plant of life, the nature of life - and see the commonsense in living simply as who i am as breath here.
I commit myself to when and as i see myself wanting to get a 'positive energy experience' out of challenging something or someone - i stop - i breathe - to instead of wanting a challenge - redefine the word challenge and use it as equal to my expression - and move me as breath moment by moment
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