Tao of Food Preparation Recipes

Tao of Food Preparation Recipes
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Friday, September 28, 2012

Wait: Prove That You Love Me Part 2 SF: Day 170 Characters Jealousy Blame Happiness



Animals:
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My 21 Days Breathing
Daily Blogs

This is a Continuation of this Blog


My 'Experience' Of The Word Wait
Stopping the Mind Narrative
Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within the 'wait for me - you love me don't you? - if you do you'll be patient - i desire to be special and superior - because i feel normal and inferior -manipulation' character  


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within the ''stand and wait for me while i beautify myself to entertain you - because you were so illusive in the past - making me suffer - and now that i got you - you have to suffer also - so we're even - competition in relationships- winning as happiness' character

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within the 'I am important - let him wait and suffer - while i entertain myself - as the blaming him for my suffering when we were in high school - as the blame' character 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within the 
'let him suffer - happiness' character

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within the  'I do not like to wait because he might not come - as the shameful, inferior, doubting' character




I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within the
'I will make him wait - as he made me wait when we were in high school - as i was attracted to him then - but he did not really pay that much attention to me at that time - as the vengeful, spiteful, blaming' character 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within the 'I enjoy it when someone suffer and wait for me - as love is suffering and waiting - spiteful' character 


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within the 'you have proven your love - you are patient - you are the kind that will die for me - you are my kind of a man - i love you - i want to marry you - please ask me now - i like to be married with you - happiness' character

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within the 'love is doubt and manipulation - competing with another - playing the game to win - as the winning in competition desiring to be happy' character



I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within the 'show me you are patient by waiting for me and prove you deserve my love - so i can bear your kids -and live happily ever after in a relationship - desiring to be happy' character
''show me you are patient by waiting for me and prove you deserve my love - so i can bear your kids - live ever after - relationship - eternal happiness' character 


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within the 'if you become angry and spite me - i will spite you back - as the blaming, spiteful' character
A similar event that happened when i was a child:


 I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within the 

'i am scared to tell her - she will get upset as the suppression and fear of anger desiring to be happy' character 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within the 

 'i am angry and i am blaming you for making me angry because of what you did as the blame and spiteful -yet after  eating tasty food you made - my blame turned to love for you - entertainment as happiness' character




I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within the 
'you made me feel unimportant and inferior - so i am blaming you - blame' character 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within the 

'where are you going?  what are you doing? -i am  suspicious that you are hiding something - blaming you as the suspicious, jealous, blaming' character

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within the  
'i will not say anything - just give me food and make me happy - to make me forget what you did - entertain me - food bribe happiness' character

As My Mom:


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within the 'i am wandering and not taking responsibility for letting others in the family know where i am going - as the self - interest first, freedom seeking, i don't care ' character 


Let's look at my childhood - where i feel controlled when my dad tells me to ask permission before i go out and tell him where i am going :


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within the 'ask permission before you go anywhere and tell me where you are going - i am your dad and you are my child - possessive - superior- controlling' character  - where i followed what he said and just stayed at the house and served him coffee - defining me within the 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within the 'serving my dad coffee - i am a good child - suppression - inferior - i like to preserve peace - fear of anger and punishment - peace is happiness' character 



As My Mom:


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within the 'you are procrastinating - do what you're told - finish the house - inferior trying to be superior - disgusted - desiring a nice house - controlling' character 


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within the 
'he's okay - he loves me - so let him be -being liked as justification to being self-dishonest - as the i like to be liked' character

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within the
'desire to always agree with someone - to preserve peace - desiring happiness' character

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within the 'fear of upsetting someone - suppression' character


As My Dad:
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within the 'ask permission before you go anywhere and tell me where you are going - i am your dad and you are just my child - possessive - superior - controlling' character


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within the 'making you coffee - inferior - pleasing dad - as the suppression, happiness' character

More Self-forgiveness for self-definition in the coming blogs

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