Animals:
The Elephant
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My 21 Days Breathing
Daily Blogs
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This is a continuation of this blog
Me, The Elephant, Nature Rice, Banana Leaf, Jesus and Mahjong Part 1
I am working on the first Fear here:
The Different Characters
The Fears and Desires
FIRST FEAR : 'fear of a difficult life - desires to go to picnics to be happy' character
'fear of being poor- desires to earn money and go to picnics to be happy' character
'fear of having no money to buy food for picnics so desires to have money to buy food for picnics to be happy' character
'fear of not having fun with family and friends - desires to go to picnics to have fun with family and friends ' character
'happy-go-lucky, does not want to work in an office so desires to be self-employed and earn money to go to picnics to be happy ' character
'desires to be self-employed to get money for picnics to be happy' character
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'fear of being controlled with eating food using spoons and fork so desires to eat with hands to be happy' character'fear of being controlled with eating food on plates so desires to eat food on a banana leaf to be happy' character
'fear of being bored with eating rice cooked in an aluminum pot so desires freedom in eating rice cooked in banana leaf to be happy' character
'fear of eating ordinary, easy to prepare food like fried fish so desires to eat special, difficult to prepare food like rellenong bangus to be happy' character
'fear of eating ordinary fried bangus or milkfish - so desires to eat special daing na bangus, or milkfish marinated in vinegar and garlic in picnics to be happy' character
'fear of being bored by staying in the house always so desires to go with family and friends for picnics to be happy' character
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Self-forgiveness and Self-commitment:
'Fear of a difficult life - desires to go to picnics to be happy' character
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear a difficult life - as i saw the maids in our country and the poor people struggle to get food on the table and get an education which gives them very little chance to survive - so instead of looking at this fear - i just desired to do something to make me forget this fear.
When i walk back and i ask myself some questions
*what will happen if i will have a difficult life?
I may not get food and shelter and die
*what will happen if i do not have food and shelter and die?
I do not know
I can see the fear of not knowing what will happen after death - this is my main fear which is really fear of not existing
I will use self-forgiveness and self-correction here -
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within the 'fear of not knowing what will happen after death' - where because i do not know anything about it - i become uncertain about my life and perceive myself split into 2 - the living me and the one who can die any time - and so fears death and within that blame existence within spite and give up on myself and just desire that which will make me happy - to feel whole about myself. Obviously, this is not what is best for all and not best for me because my fear is still within me and will be directing me to desire many things to make me happy - and most of the time be addicted to it. So i commit myself to when and as i see myself desiring something to make me happy - avoiding facing myself within fear - i stop - i breathe. I am assisting myself to accept and allow me to not participate in fear of death and see that i can stop the mind by not participating in my fear and within that see who i really am when i stop my mind - realizing that i am here - made from the same substance all are made of and simply live as who i am - equal to all that exist.
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