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Sunday, September 16, 2012

The Story of Nature, Rice, Banana Leaf, The Elephant, Jesus, Mahjong and Me Day 156 Happiness Charcter '




 

Me, The Elephant, Nature Rice, Banana Leaf, Jesus and Mahjong 

The Elephant







 

My 21 Days Breathing
Daily Blogs

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I connected the word nature to a positive experience of having vacations and picnics in nature in the blog before this, so in this blog i am doing self-forgiveness for that  - where when i was doing the self-forgiveness in the first part of this blog - the mind character's narrative unfolded - showing me all the characters i have become - connected to this character including how i created the world system 'without' within my participation in my mind 'within'.

 I will direct this narrative in my next blogs using writing, self-forgiveness and self-commitment to correct myself for existing as these characters- and walk out of the noise these characters make within/as my mind - to hear what is here and birth me here as life breath by breath moment by moment.

The Story

Mind Character's Narrative

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect nature to a positive energy experience - within/as my relationship to my mind as the 'happiness' character - coming from my fear of having a difficult life - defining myself within the 'fear of difficult life - sad -desiring happiness' character - where i fear being very poor - defining myself within the 'fear of being poor - no picnics - sad - desiring happiness' character - so cannot have money to attend and buy food to eat in picnics - defining myself within the 'fear of having no money to buy food -for picnics - sadness- desiring happiness' character - believing that when i do not have money i am not able to have picnics with family and friends - defining myself within 'fear of not having fun with family and friends - sad -desiring happiness' character - where i desire the positive energy experience of having an 'easy-go-lucky' life - defining myself within the ' happy - go lucky - desiring happiness' character - desiring to have money to contribute to family picnics - defining myself within the 'working to have money for picnics - desiring happiness' character - desiring a 'fun', happy life - defining myself within the 'money and picnic and  fun - desiring happiness' character-

where i have a memory of family and friends gathering together -eating with our hands - defining myself within the 'food eating with hands -  happiness' character - and eating food on a banana leaf - defining myself within the 'food on banana leaf - happiness' character-where the smell of rice cooked in banana leaf - draws me to eat it - defining myself within the 'rice cooked in banana leaf - desire for food - happiness' character -  where  i desire a positive energy experience - out of eating cooked rice with grilled fish called 'rellenong bangus' which is milk fish stuffed with tomatoes and onions grilled on charcoal - defining myself within the 'desire for grilled rellenong bangus - food - happiness' character - and the 'daing na bangus' or 'fried pickled milkfish' in English - where i imagine the taste and the smell of it within/as my mind and having the picture of it within/as my mind - defining myself within the 'desire for daing na bangus - food - happiness' character  where the desire to go for a picnic with family and relatives is all about that positive energy experience - defining myself within the 'desire for picnics - food- happiness' character - which i created within /as my mind - in an alternate reality - as an alternate version of me - in my relationship to the mind within and


laughing and joking with each other - defining myself within the 'laughter and jokes - happiness' character playing mahjong - defining myself within the 'playing mahjong with family - happiness' character -
 


 using mahjong set made from ivory - defining myself within the 'ivory mahjong set- elephant cruelty - happiness' character -


where i did not look at where the ivory mahjong set we were using to have fun came from

   
- thinking if we paid for it - so we have the right to own it - within self-interest - and get a positive energy experience by playing it - not realizing the harm that was inflicted on the elephant when the tusks was removed from its body - where i did not see realise and understand that the tusks was forcibly taken from the elephant - by humans like me - who is also desiring a positive energy experience - within self-interest believing - just like me that 'I am me and I own me' - not realizing i am trapped as the character perceiving myself separate from all - believing 'I have the right to be happy' - defining myself within the 'I own me - i have the right to be happy - individual' character - not seeing and realising that the tusks of the elephant and the bones of humans are made from the same substance all are made of -that the body of the elephant and the body of humans are made from the same substance all are made of - it is made from the substance the plants are made of - the substance the earth is made of - equal and one!- and within that seeing - write, self-forgive oneself and correct oneself breath by breath moment by moment for what one has done, wrote or said where one accepted and allowed self-interest to be the driving force in one's life - being driven by energy - as desire for a positive experience rather than directing oneself to be in alignment to the principle of life - ONENESS and EQUALITY as ALL LIFE.

 



- and let's have a look at my desire for a positive energy experience for playing mahjong with my friends and family - wanting to win to have easy money - so i can give my family and friends money - defining myself within the 'desire to make my family happy by giving money - happiness' character - which we call in Filipino, 'balato' - where in doing that and when they say 'thank you' to me - and pat my back and smile and say 'you are so nice', or in the Filipino language, 'ang bait bait mo, binalatuhan mo ako' and announce it to every family member - i have the idea that 'i am special and popular' - defining myself within the 'desire to be special and popular - happiness' character
so the desire to win - believing that when i give money when i win to family and friends i will become happy - so i fear of losing - defining myself within the 'fear of losing money - no money to give family - sadness' character - fearing not being popular and special - where the desire to be special -is coming from the fear of being normal - defining myself within the 'i am normal - inferior - sad' character - and the desire to be popular - is coming from the fear of being unpopular -defining myself within the 'unpopular - inferior - sadness' character - and the desire to exist and not stop being the 'mind character that i am or we are -  is coming from fear of not existing as a character - defining myself within the 'fear of not existing as the character within an alternate reality defined by positive experiences' character- where i am living my life in an alternate reality driven by FEAR- and in fact sabotaging WHO I AM as the real character - as the physical - equal to all that exist - as all came from the same substance all are made of  - saying to the elephant - this is who i am - this is what i am - expressing me here unconditionally supporting you as me.


Coming back to this mind character - we can see how i - and all the members of the family plus our friends support each other as all mind characters - to stay as the mind character - as they support me, i support them to be the mind character that they have become

- and so we'll have a look at the 'happiness' character again within winning - as i define myself within the 'desiring to win - help by giving others free money - happiness' character - making others happy - and these mind characters i gave money to -  are playing out the same character in the other end of the 'help' polarity equation - which is the 'desiring to win- lost - help - please give me money - i feel like i won - happiness' character - and when i win a game - everytime i win i give a 'tong' or a part of my winning to the person who owns the house and the mahjong set where the mahjong game is being played - which at that moment is me - as i own the house and the mahjong set that is being used to play mahjong - and so i profit from hosting the game in my house - and in exchange, i give all the players 'good food' - where instead of food being used for sustenance of whatever the body needs to survive - it is used in supporting each other in the 'food for all wanting easy money - food as happiness' game of self-interest - where i saw myself separate from the food i was eating - and ate it from the starting point of desire - for a positive energy experience - defining myself within the 'food when playing mahjong - happiness with family' character - and cooking food from the starting point of desire to please family/relatives - defining myself within the 'desire to please family - cooking food - family happiness' character

within self-interest - as the starting point for having these gathering in my house before is to have a positive energy experience within having the family around - talking and laughing, playing mahjong, eating food and winning money  -not realizing we formed a relationship with the mind 'within' this 'food, money and mahjong 'mahjong-desiring to be happy' game - which is what we play out in our relationship with the world system 'without' - which is mining the earth for food and profit and slaughtering the animals for food and profit  - to be served in parties and gathering of different characters wanting to support each other to stay as the mind character desiring happiness - where the creation of my 'without' started with me, myself and i - with the excuse that we need to have fun and be happy as a family - to forget the fear of pain 'within' and as ourselves - to 'survive' in a world based on inequality - where one has to buy from and sell food to people who cook for people who consume food for the positive energy experience of eating - where through this we form a relationship to the world system 'without' which gives births and supports the FOOD INDUSTRY



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The Peppercorn



Looking back at me having a positive energy experience in playing mahjong using the ivory mahjong set - which i did not look at how much harm we inflict on the elephant having his tusks removed so i can be happy playing mahjong and being famous because i have an expensive mahjong set - defining myself within the 'famous - owns expensive mahjong set - elite' character -  where i learned how to play mahjong with my ex- husband - desiring to do what he does - learning to like what he likes - defining myself within the 'desire to play and learn mahjong because my ex-husband likes to - inferior - happiness' character - where i formed a relationship with the mind 'within' and learned to play mahjong when my ex-husband has desire to play mahjong - and so copying him - defining myself within the  'desire to play mahjong -because my ex- husband like to - copycat' character - so increasing the number of people in this world who form relationships based on the 'desire to be happy' - defining myself within the 'desire to be in a relationship - doing same things together - to support the character - happiness' character- and both of us and our family relatives - defining myself within the ' me as the character supported by the characters in the family and others - happiness' character - form a relationship  to the world system 'without' - where we aligned our both 'within and without to a 'desire for a positive energy experience' - where I, as We, as All create this world - defining myself within the  'i create this world - we create this world - monetary system based on inequality as economic world system characters

Where -taking a look at the gaming industry - supported by the 'wanting to win - winning - happiness' character - so here we can see how we create this world system by animating the mind characters that we have become - in the name of the 'fear of difficult life - desiring happiness - sad wanting to win - happiness' character  - within the game of self-interest


And having a look at the game of self-interest, where this is the program that the mind character that i have become - as follows: 
1. Desire for money - defining myself within the 'desire to have money - competition - happiness' character
2. Desire to win - defining myself within the 'desire to win - happiness' chracter
3. Winning and so one becomes popular and loved by everyone- defining myself within the 'i am winning - i am successful -popular - everyone loves me - happiness' character

4. Loves the 'positive energy experience'of being the winner which is also me being popular - defining myself within the 'won - i am popular - happiness' character
4A. Desire to win again -defining myself within the 'desire to win again - winning - going for eternal success as all time winner - happiness' character
5. Loves to give money to those who lost - so one becomes popular - defining myself within the 'giving money to family because i win and you lost - i need you to validate my existence - otherwise i will not exist - happiness' character
6. Money coming from a combination of cotton, silk etc. - coming from the plant on the earth - reaping the earth of its resources - for gambling and profit - defining myself within the 'money from gambling - consuming earth's resources - consuming substance - reaping the earth - happiness' character


Where the fears connected to this is as follows: 

1.Fear of losing money - defining myself within the 'fear of losing money in gambling - instead of gambling - decides to eat tasty food in the food court - happiness' character
2.Fear of not enjoying Las Vegas so eats tasty food in the food court - defining me within the 'gambling is bad - not gambling is good - i don't gamble - i eat good food - desiring happiness'  character 
3.Fear of not knowing who i am and my relationship to everything in this world - so eats - for a positive energy experience -defining me within the 'eating for pleasure -to forget my fears - happiness' character
4. Hates gambling - connected it to what is bad - but tolerates it because family and friends want to gamble - defining me within the 'hate it but they do it - got to do it - if you can't beat them join them - supporting characters - not taking responsibility as self - happinessworld system character
5. Fear of 'not being liked' - so joins the family in going to Las Vegas  to enjoy eating tasty food - defining myself within the 'fear of not being liked - family and friends - what they do is okay even if i do not like it and what i do they okay - family and friends support - happiness' character
6. Eating food coming from the earth - reaping the earth's resources  - consuming substance of life -defining myself within the 'eating food in casinos - gambling - money and profit - reaping the earth - happiness' character 

Where there's - 'desire to exist as the mind character'- defining myself within the 'desire for limitness existence as the mind character- happiness' character - coming from 'fear of not being liked by family - defining myself within the 'fear of not being liked - desiring to be liked - happiness' character - and 'fear of not being supported by family - defining myself within the 'fear of not being supported by family - desire to be supported by family - happiness' character- which is  'fear of not existing' - defining myself within the 'fear of not existing desire for limitness existence as the character - happiness' character - as the mind character i have become - where i am sabotaging who i am as the real character - as the physical - equal to all that exist - as all came from the same substance all are made of.



 and looking at my fear of - working hard for the money - defining myself within the 'fear working hard for the money - money- sadness' character- having fear of being tired and overworked not having time to unwind - defining myself within the 'tired and overworked - earning money is hard - sadness' character - where i believed that happiness is about vacations, picnics and having fun - defining myself within the 'picnics and vacations - money - happiness' character- so desiring to work in a multilevel business - defining myself within the 'multilevel business - vacation - happiness' character - believing that vacationing and promoting my business while i am having a vacation  is the way i earn easy money - defining myself within the 'easy money - multilevel business happiness' character-



 where winding ('-')and unwinding ('+') the mind is who i have become - limited to the polarity equation - of 'sadness and happiness' - defining myself within the 'fear of sadness - desiring happiness' character - believing that the positive energy experience is who i am - and the negative energy experience is the part of me that is the ego - where i tried to push it away - defining myself within the 'split - i am good and bad - morality' character - because i believed when i was young what i heard from the priest that it was the 'devil nudging me to do that which is bad' - defining myself within the 'devil is responsible - i am bad' character -defining myself within the 'fear of suffering- devil is bad -i don't like hell -so save me Jesus' character


- where i went to Church when i was young as i saw my grandmother going to church - kneeling and praying to Mary - as the 'praying to Mary - i am good - morality - happiness' character and praying to Jesus - defining myself within the 'praying to Jesus - i am good- morality - happiness' character -  so i did the same thing believing she knows what she's doing and i don't - defining myself within the 'i don't know - grandmother knows - authority is superior - i am inferior -happiness' character - where the catholic church has different kinds of saints that i prayed to - depicted within different characters - which i can see now that - we make graven images according to our likeness, lol.

Let's have a look at the Sto. Nino as the child Jesus and the Nazareth as the Jesus on The Cross - where i desire a positive energy experience form the idea of being blessed by both the child Jesus - and the adult Jesus on the cross- believing if i do good - i will go to heaven - defining myself within the 'do good - heaven - happiness' character - believing that Jesus will be blessing me and will get me a place in heaven - defining myself within the 'Jesus and heaven as perfect - happiness' character
and fearing the 'opposite negative energy experience of going to hell '- and meeting the Devil - defining myself within the 'i fear the negative experience of suffering in hot fire forever - hell is bad - morality' character 

and looking at who i have become within work - believing that working without a boss - as working in Multilevel marketing is 'best' - within 'spite' - defining myself within the 'i don't want to work for a boss- spiteful' character - blaming the boss and defining myself within work as who i have become -  defining myself within ' i blame the boss for my suffering' character -believing that 'surviving in a happy- go -lucky, having lots of money, easy life unequal world' - is happiness - defining myself within the 'i am my own boss - lots of money - easy life - money- happiness' character - within self-interest -defining myself within the 'rich and no boss-self-interest - happiness' character - supporting a world system based on inequality - defining myself within the 'i only care about me - i have money - i have car - i have a house - supporting an unequal system - self-interest - happiness ' character


- where i connected not caring about life to 'freedom' - and connected working for a boss to 'control' - believing working in an office working for a boss is being like a 'slave' - defining myself within 'fear of having a boss - inferior - happiness' character - desiring to work for oneself -and connecting it to freedom


 - defining myself within the 'desire to work as my own boss - happiness' character - where i wanted to have a business of my own to not face my fear of the boss that gets angry when i come to work late - defining myself within the 'fear of boss - anger - late- suppression' character.
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Self-forgiveness and Commitment to Correction Script To Follow 
To Stop The Mind Character's narrative as Noise in The Head...


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