Self-forgiveness: 'Irritating' Tone of Voice When Speaking

I am doing self-forgiveness in this blog for the Mind Pattern I saw in the Blog below:

Blog Link:

http://junejourneytolife.blogspot.com/2014/12/living-my-utmost-potential-15-what-is.html

What is Self-forgiveness? 

It is the process by which an individual forgives oneself for accepting and allowing self to separate from objective reality, releasing positive and negative value judgments such as good or bad, right or wrong, positive or negative - as subjective interpretations of reality regarding something or someone that leads to stability as breath. 


Writing Self-forgiveness Statements 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the sound of my voice in this speech - having judged it as 'below normal', having a high tone, believing that it is different from what I call a 'normal' voice - which I judged as having a low tone, instead of seeing and realizing that what I consider normal is what I associated to a superior or 'above normal' sound of voice defined within a perceived 'polished speaker persona' or a 'spiritual master persona' that I associated with men and women who i labeled as 'educated' or 'spiritual' when  realistically, what voice really is, is sound - essentially a part of the whole - that is life - equal and one. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project my own judgment of the tone of my voice when I react to someone - to my mom's voice, believing that it is irritating.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge sound as either superior or inferior which is my interpretation of sound rather than what sound really is.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to associate the tone of my voice when I react to someone - with my mom's tone of voice when she talks lengthily believing that both tones are irritating instead of seeing and realizing that sound is sound and is not good or bad.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to external stimulus in the environment in anger/irritation believing that my life is in danger in this world - where life is not guaranteed for all because of an unequal monetary system

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use tone/pitch to express emotions and feelings when

I commit myself to bring myself back here and breathe through the energy or reactions when I hear myself reacting to the tone of my voice.

I commit myself to when and as I see myself associate the tone of my voice to the tone of my mom's voice, stop and breathe. I realize that I defined a low tone/pitch of voice within superiority coming from fear of having a high tone/pitch of voice which I associated to an irritating sound so I stabilize myself as breath when I speak as who I am.

I commit myself to accept and allow myself to develop an equal and one relationship to my voice - as sound - as who I am here.

I commit myself to assist in birthing a life that guarantees survival for all - starting with a living income guarantee.

Public Speaking: Giving an Impromptu Speech: Self Forgiveness for a Mind Pattern

I saw a mind pattern here  that I want to correct and share with others. I did not prepare for the talk yet said 'yes' when asked, so I was thinking of the possible subjects and structure  of the talk in my mind before the talk.

I Don't Know What To Talk About' Mind Pattern:
>I did not know I am going to talk
>I want to push myself to talk
>but I do not have the outline of the talk
>If I have the outline I can work from that
>but I don't
>this is scary
>why did I say yes
>Maybe I should not have said yes

What I saw In This Mind Pattern:
There's fear of not knowing what to talk about. I am pushing myself to talk - which is a form of manipulation  - acting out my fear. There's also fear that I do not have the outline of my talk and fear of speaking in the moment. There's a belief that I can only talk if I have an outline. There's a belief that I will be scared if I speak without an outline. There's self-blame for saying 'yes' to speak without an outline. There's doubt that I can pull it together.

Self-forgiveness 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not knowing what to talk about before my speech creating conflict within myself and in so doing put the body in a state of stress instead of realizing that I can allow myself to be uncomfortable, forgive myself for creating conflict within myself by figuring out in my mind whether 'I can or I can't'.   I commit myself  to after writing self-forgiveness, correct my living by physically giving the speech as I  communicate who I am and my story of change.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try to transcend my fear by acting out my fear - which is a way of manipulation, through giving a speech in a trembling voice and body instead of realizing I can stabilize myself by bringing myself here in physical reality, breathing in a stability and then giving the speech. I commit myself to identify the fear, forgive, correct and do the speech.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that not having an outline of my speech believing that through the outline, I can have a mental reference of what I will talk about so I can draw on that when I am speaking instead of realizing that  I do not need to go inside my mind when I am speaking. I commit myself to speak about what I see is the problem in this world and provide some solutions that worked for me aligned to what is mutually beneficial to all - humans, plants, animals etc.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear speaking in the moment, believing that the structure of the speech should be known before I speak instead of realizing that this is what I learned from others and therefore this is information that was not tested by me. So, I commit myself to speak about something that I walked and tested where I give a message - my story of how I changed - that is aligned to what is mutually beneficial to all concerned.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that having an outline is better than having no outline - within an idea that a structured speech will be better understood by others rather than realize that understanding is based from knowing the nature and meaning of something within my own living - where they can observe how I live the words I speak and how i align it to what is best for all - which others can truly understand as inherent in my nature as a human lies the nature of other humans. So I commit myself to speak about the problems and the solutions I have applied in my life that worked for me in my speech.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I will be scared if I speak without an outline - having heard others say this instead of realizing that a speech is me communicating my own story of change to others. So I commit myself to talk about what I have walked, what I saw and how I changed - realizing that since I walked this, I can draw on my experience whenever I decide to - as this is an integral part of me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame myself for saying 'yes' to speak - believing that because it is an impromptu speech, I can ran out of things to talk about, and when that happens, I will be shamed and will be disliked by the audience instead of realizing this is me projecting my own fear of being shamed and fear of being disliked to others. So, I commit myself to forgive and release these fears and when I see myself blaming myself within my mind for saying 'yes' to giving a speech - I stop, breathe and bring myself back here in physical reality, forgive and correct myself, then give a speech when I am stable and clear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt that I can pull an impromptu speech together believing that I am not good enough to deliver a speech in front of lawyers and educated people fearing that they will judge me as inferior instead of realizing that this is me projecting my own fears to others. So, I commit myself to forgive judging myself, correct and breathe through the perceived discomfort and push myself to give an impromptu speech.

Living My Utmost Potential 13: What is Health?

Links To Realizing and Living My Utmost Potential

http://junejourneytolife.blogspot.com/2014/05/the-desteni-of-living-my-declaration-of_30.html

I wanted to communicate here what I found out about the word 'Health'. I initially believed that 'Health' means 'absence of disease'. So, I tried to evolve myself in my mind as someone who is following a 'healthy diet', without realizing that my starting point was 'fear of disease' and in my 'eating healthy', I was not seeing 'health' as what it is. In my redefinition, 'Health' is the alignment of physical, mental and social well-being of man to what is mutually beneficial to all. I communicated this change in my redefinition and my story of how I changed to the audience. 

As this is a moment by moment walking, I saw a mind pattern here that I want to correct in the next coming blogs and share with others. I did not prepare for the talk yet said yes when asked, so I was thinking of the possible subjects to talk about in my mind before the talk.

I Don't Know What To Talk About' Mind Pattern:
>I did not know I am going to talk
>I want to push myself to talk
>but I do not have the outline of the talk
>If I have the outline I can work from that
>but I don't
>this is scary
>why did I say yes
>Maybe I should not have said yes

What I saw In This Mind Pattern:
There's fear of not knowing what to talk about. I am pushing myself to talk - which is a form of manipulation. Then, acting out my fear. There's also fear that I do not have the outline of my talk and fear of speaking in the moment. There's a belief that I can only talk if I have an outline. There's a belief that I will be scared if I speak without an outline. There's self-blame for saying yes to speak without an outline. There's doubt that I can pull it together.

Self-forgiveness and Self-Correction

Living My Utmost Potential 12: Speaking In Public 1: Nervousness: Who am I?

I pushed myself to talk about who I am as a part of the whole and why that is important. I shared my story of change in front of people  for the first time. I am posting this as part of my Living my Utmost Potential Series. 

Links To Realizing and Living My Utmost Potential

http://junejourneytolife.blogspot.com/2014/05/the-desteni-of-living-my-declaration-of_30.html

As this is a moment by moment process, I am also going to look at some points (nervousness) about speaking in public. When I was giving this speech, I was nervous. I would like to look at my mind pattern here.

'I am Nervous' Mind Pattern

>I am speaking before a new audience 

>they expect me to deliver a perfect speech 

>but I am not going to say what they want to hear 

>so I am sure they will not like my speech

Here, I have an idea of what the audience wants me to speak in a perfect manner

I believed that they were expecting me to talk about something

they like, which is not real. I was really projecting my own fear of speaking in public to them and then doubting myself in in my ability to entertain them.

What is Self-forgiveness? 

It is the process by which an individual forgives oneself for accepting and allowing self 

to separate from objective reality, releasing positive and negative value judgments such as good or bad, right or wrong, positive or negative - as subjective interpretations of reality regarding something or someone that leads to stability as breath. 

Writing Self-forgiveness Statements 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have an idea that the audience expect me to deliver my talk in a perfect way instead of  realizing this is me 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that they are expecting me to say something they like to hear

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have an idea of what other people like to hear, believing that what I am going to talk about will not interest them therefore, judging what I would say before I am able to say it, which is me projecting my own fear of being disliked to them.

I forgive myself to doubt my ability to communicate myself with others - using words used to entertain others rather than an expression of my story of change through  speaking

in stability communicating about what is best for all life - humans, animals, plants etc.

I commit myself to when and as I see myself fearing being disliked when speaking in public, I stop and breathe and bring myself back here realizing that I can live confidence - as who I am - and instead of thinking about entertaining the public,  speak in confidence about my story of how I change from being an individual driven by self-interest to someone who is standing for what is best for all. as I speak.