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My Food and Nutrition Blog Site:
http://foodandnutritionjunejourneytolife.blogspot.com/In this blog i am looking at who i have become within a decision i made and the fears that i saw within that
Event:: X-mas gathering with my partner's family
Decision: Make a gravy out of pan drippings and serve it with the pork roast
My partner's decision: Leave the pan drippings as it is - do not make a gravy
I will use self-forgiveness in this blog for fears i saw and continue from Part 1.
I highlighted the Fears i will do self-forgiveness for in this blog, below
I am doing self-commitment in blogs to come and live the correction in my breath by breath movement to birth me here as life.
Fears behind the decision to make a gravy:
Fear of the texture of the gravy (using pan drippings as gravy) not being 'right' as per the culinary standards/rules
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Fear of being a bad chef
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Fear of not being popular
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Fear of not being liked by my partner's family when i bring a pork roast with a thin, runny gravy
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Fear of being alone
↓Fear of being bored by being just by myself
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Fear of going crazy
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Fear of being in a mental institution
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Fear of not being in control
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Fear of being bad
↓ Fear of hurting/killing others
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Fear of being in prison
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Fear of not having the freedom to live life and not do what I like
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Fear of being sad
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Fear of wasting my time on Earth
Mind Loop
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Fear of REGRETTING the way i lived my life
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Fear that I did not use the time that I had to live life fully
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Fear of blaming myself that I did not live life fully
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Fear of feeling guilty
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Fear of doing something to make up for it
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Fear of starting from the beginning again/reincarnating
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Fear of being in a loop and not getting the whole point of what life is about
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Fear of not knowing who, what, where, when, how I am
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Fear of not doing what is needed of me to be who I am as life
Mind Loop
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Fear of REGRETTING living my life the way i did
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Fear of not being someone who is happy all the time
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Fear of going through a longer process
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Fear of not enjoying the fruits of life fully while lived
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Fear of eternal pain/suffering===
Self-forgiveness Statements Continued:
Fear of hurting/killing others
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself 'as fear of not surviving - as the physical/body'
to fear hurting/killing others fearing believing i will be ending someone's life on earth - believing it is bad -not realizing that the body/physical just changes its form and that good and bad are part of morality imposed by society to prevent people from causing others harm - not realizing that 'what we resist persist' - not realizing it is not about
Fear of being in prison
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself 'as fear of not surviving - as space and time'
to fear being in prison fearing being secluded from the rest of the world - believing prison is a location separate from HERE - not realizing that i trapped myself within space and time seeing through my mind's eyes and defining space within longitudes and latitudes - defining time within past present and future - not realizing that i am here - HERE - as the current state or condition of/as ALL that is physical in/as in every moment of breath.
Fear of not having the freedom to live life and not do what I like
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself 'as fear of not surviving - as mind/energy'
to fear not doing what i like and not living life - defined by what i like to do as who i have become as the mind - not realizing that my starting point as who i am in what i do, matter - and that my idea of living life in bliss and happiness - as i desire a positive energy experience in living life- is just an idea i made up in my mind
as i fear the opposite polarity - which is being sad - not realizing that enjoying me HERE as how the physical is expressing itself and enjoying the in-breath and the out-breath and the 'holding moment' is enjoying me as who i am here
Fear of being sad
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself 'as fear of not surviving - as mind/ energy'
to fear being sad believing when i cannot do what i like i will be unhappy and sad - within this, running away from a negative energy experience wanting/desiring to be eternally happy - wanting a positive energy experience as the mind- not realizing that who i am is not defined by energy as positive and negative energy experiences rather, who i am is here enjoying me as breath - being with my heartbeat as the pulse of life as the physical
Fear of wasting my time on Earth
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself 'as fear of not surviving- as space and time' to fear living in prison believing it is a waste of my time on earth - where my idea of living life fully as time on earth is having a happy life doing the good things i believed i am supposed to do -from birth to death - as memory - as desiring positive energy experiences within the unfolding events from the point of birth to a point of death- fearing negative energy experiences - fearing suffering, fearing pain and fearing difficulty- trapped in time - not realizing i am here in every moment of breath as self-remembrance
Fear of REGRETTING the way i lived my life
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself 'as fear of not surviving - as a divine being '
to fear looking back after death - regretting the way i lived my life - believing that life is supposed to be spent helping the people that needs help and being a self-realized being - is what it means to live life fully - believing that if i will not be able to do this, my entire life on earth will be wasted - not realizing that helping others to have eternal life is from a starting point of separation from all within self-interest and desiring or doing something to be self-realized is from a starting point of separation from all life'
- not realizing that stopping mind participation as i am here as breath in every moment is the commonsensical thing to do
- not realizing that assisting in establishing a world that truly honors life - based on equality, standing for what is best for all - is what it means to really live
