Farming & The Dirt

FARMING & DIRT

In this blog, i am looking at farming and how i turned my back into doing that in favor of studying in the city - and the suppression that comes with that. I am forgiving myself here and opening the door for correction

Forgiving Myself

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have a backchat of

"me planting in the farm will make my hands dirty and that is for the poor to do - not for me"

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to think of a picture of me working in an office and not in the farm after college 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that studying and going to the city from the province to study is the best thing that ever happened to me 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear being a farmer and plough the fields which is what will happen if i do not go to the city to study - believing that that is me becoming less than my classmates

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that i am  privileged when i study in a Catholic school

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to copy what the elite is doing believing that if they study in the Catholic school, i should also do that 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to think and behave according to how my ancestors think, speak and behave 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to turn my back on the earth -  which is the physical - equal to who i am

Commitment

When and as i see myself having a backchat of 

"me planting in the farm will make my hands dirty and that is for the poor to do - not for me", i stop - i breathe. I realize this is me judging the dirt and separating myself from the dirt, from the earth - associating touching the dirt with being poor and working in the office as having more money 

I commit myself to see the dirt as what it really is - the earth, equal and one