Education: 'Back-talk for Not Doing My Assignment and My Tutor In Grade School E2

We are all birthed here living this life, so it is us creating this world the way it is.

We mirror 'our within' - as the mind

in 'our without' - as this world system

So i am doing self-forgiveness for accepting and allowing this and correcting myself in my living.

What is Self-forgiveness?

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself
to use words within blame
in my mind, regretting, feeling guilty and re-living memories of the past
when i have a 'back-talk'
creating friction and conflict within myself
which creates stress
where i use phrases like:

'i could have done my assignment'
'i should have not spent a lot of time in playing candy crush'
'i will do this right next time'
'i will finish it 'in no time'
'relax, everything will be okay'

where within this Back-talk:
'i could have done my assignment'

I am blaming myself for not doing my assignment
regretting the decision and feeling guilty about my decision
instead of practically doing my assignment
instead of me regretting not having done my assignment
which i connected to a memory of me
having a tutor in grade school
teaching me how to do my assignment
feeling bored and sleepy
believing that i do not understand what she was talking about
because her voice was so soft and she was too nice
so i just followed what she said for me to do without understanding it

and what is happening now is i am
blaming her for what i am experiencing
and re-living this past memory
at the present time
so instead of being here
take myself to the past
in my mind

and instead of taking self-responsibility
blame it on someone
believing that if i do that
i can get away from it all, the boredom,
me not understanding what's being taught in school
etc. and i will feel better

instead of realizing that it will compound and eventually i have to deal with it
so this is not a decision based on common sense
but a cop - out

So i commit myself to take self-responsibility
and do my assignment
instead of running away from the momentary perceived 'negative experience'

Continued...