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My Food and Nutrition Blog Site:
http://foodandnutritionjunejourneytolife.blogspot.com/===
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This is a continuation of Part 4
I will highlight the dimension i am working on in this blog with the color pink
Topic: Self-forgiving
me and correcting me in my living application standing equal with the
mind - realizing i can only change/stop that which i am equal to/as -
stopping mind participation to birth me here as equal to/as all Life
Specific Point: 'My Mind Relationship with the Guru'
What is Self-forgiveness?
Why am i using Mathematics?
I am using mathematical symbols to illustrate how i gave mind values instead of giving real values as the value of every manifestation as equal to the value that is Life
The Dimensions of the Mind:
Fear: Fear of not being able to go to India and see the guru
Conscious:
Thought : picture of me standing with wide eyes listening to the monk telling me i have to see Baba (the guru)
Imagination: 'me feeling something different/feeling blissful when i see him'
Reaction: Wonder
Subconscious
Backchat: 'there must be some magical feeling being with the guru'
Unconscious
Body Movement: upper part of chest feeling warm. eyes opening wide
Consequence: learning from how i developed a relationship with the guru - within existing as an energy experience that i believed was real when it is in fact existent within a relationship that is coming from a MIND simulated version of reality as the physical body and this physical existence.
Facing the consequence and breathing through it as i stand and change and birth me here as who i am
Intoducing The Quantum Mind
Introducing The Quantum Mind ( System) Systemization
Backchat
'There must be some magical feeling being with the Guru'
'There must be some magical feeling being with the Guru'
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the design of/as
'fear of survival - as positive energy - as power'
exist within a backchat of
'there must be some magical feeling being with the guru'
taking the thoughts and imagination further and having internal conversations within my mind
using words separate from me
having energetic definitions
seeing through my mind's eyes
seeing the guru as more than me
fearing to be the ego
desiring to be self-realised
fearing to be powerless
desiring to be powerful
defining myself within power and powerlessness
Through this
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to
define myself within power and powerlessness
where i feel useless and helpless
needing someone to give me back my power as self
to make me transcend the mind
pitying myself
feeling that i have split myself into 2
the self and the mind
and does not know what to do
uncertain about my future
doubting if i can ever be the self again
believing that i have done so many things in this life and the past life
believing i will not be able to transcend the mind myself
powerless
uncertain about WHO I AM
believing that i do not know what to do to transcend the MIND
believing what i heared the guru said
that he will give the devotees liberation
if the devotees will do what he instructed us - the 'devotees' to do
doing what he said
which is to
meditate daily
do yoga exercises daily
follow the 16 points
go to dharmacakra weekly
eating sentient food (vegetarian food without onion, garlic, mushroom etc.)
yama and niyama
doing or yoga postures daily
do social service etc.
believing that because he can do these feats:
he can raise a boy from death to life and i can't
he can transform carnivorous food into vegetarian food and i can't
he can make the stick smell like flowers and i don't
he knows my future and i don't
believing that he can take my 'samaskara or karma'
believing he is the only one that can save me from my 'bad deeds'
believing that he can give me liberation from bondage
so equated his name to
liberation from the ego and eternal life
'surrendered unto his feet'
believing it is an act of 'unconditional love'
not realizing what's driving me
was my FEAR of my own mind and not being able to control
the thoughts, reactions, backchats etc.
where within this i am suppressing myself
and my expression
making myself inferior and powerless
all because of FEAR of taking self-responsibility for
me as the mind
as who i have become
possessed by FEAR of myself
i took refuge and became a devotee of a guru
anandamurti
giving up on my self
as the evil me
within my mind as the simulated version of me
doubting, fearing, inferior, powerless, giving up
self suppressing me, blaming, justifying etc.
Through this,
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to
doubt myself
seeing myself as powerless, useless and helpless
Through this
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to
form a relationship with fear of my mind
making myself less than the mind
not realizing i defined myself into existence within the mind
then i made it real by living my limited definitions of myself
feeling useless, powerless and helpless
so i will not take self-responsibility
the evil me giving up on me
so i can just surrender to the guru and not have to self-forgive
and face that which i accepted and allowed in this world
and correct myself in my living
blaming the physical for creating the guru as superior and me as inferior
within spite
Through this
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself
to give up on myself by surrendering to the guru
believing that that is an act of unconditional love
not seeing and realising that it is
self-suppression
Through this
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself
to suppress who i am in my expression
by surrendering to the guru
making the excuse that i have to survive
and get liberation - so i need to surrender to the guru
justifying that by saying
'i need to be whole - so i have to see the guru - get his blessing as he will make me whole'
seeing through my mind's eyes
defining wholeness and power within a polarity point
of powerlessness and power
rather than wholeness as balance
where i take self-responsibility for all parts of me
looking at how i created my mind as 'my within'
and 'my without' as this world system
writing, self-forgiving, correcting and birthing myself here
as who i am
taking the thoughts and imagination further and having internal conversations within my mind
using words separate from me
having energetic definitions
seeing through my mind's eyes
seeing the guru as more than me
fearing to be the ego
desiring to be self-realised
fearing to be powerless
desiring to be powerful
defining myself within power and powerlessness
Through this
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to
define myself within power and powerlessness
where i feel useless and helpless
needing someone to give me back my power as self
to make me transcend the mind
pitying myself
feeling that i have split myself into 2
the self and the mind
and does not know what to do
uncertain about my future
doubting if i can ever be the self again
believing that i have done so many things in this life and the past life
believing i will not be able to transcend the mind myself
powerless
uncertain about WHO I AM
believing that i do not know what to do to transcend the MIND
believing what i heared the guru said
that he will give the devotees liberation
if the devotees will do what he instructed us - the 'devotees' to do
doing what he said
which is to
meditate daily
do yoga exercises daily
follow the 16 points
go to dharmacakra weekly
eating sentient food (vegetarian food without onion, garlic, mushroom etc.)
yama and niyama
doing or yoga postures daily
do social service etc.
believing that because he can do these feats:
he can raise a boy from death to life and i can't
he can transform carnivorous food into vegetarian food and i can't
he can make the stick smell like flowers and i don't
he knows my future and i don't
believing that he can take my 'samaskara or karma'
believing he is the only one that can save me from my 'bad deeds'
believing that he can give me liberation from bondage
so equated his name to
liberation from the ego and eternal life
'surrendered unto his feet'
believing it is an act of 'unconditional love'
not realizing what's driving me
was my FEAR of my own mind and not being able to control
the thoughts, reactions, backchats etc.
where within this i am suppressing myself
and my expression
making myself inferior and powerless
all because of FEAR of taking self-responsibility for
me as the mind
as who i have become
possessed by FEAR of myself
i took refuge and became a devotee of a guru
anandamurti
giving up on my self
as the evil me
within my mind as the simulated version of me
doubting, fearing, inferior, powerless, giving up
self suppressing me, blaming, justifying etc.
Through this,
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to
doubt myself
seeing myself as powerless, useless and helpless
Through this
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to
form a relationship with fear of my mind
making myself less than the mind
not realizing i defined myself into existence within the mind
then i made it real by living my limited definitions of myself
feeling useless, powerless and helpless
so i will not take self-responsibility
the evil me giving up on me
so i can just surrender to the guru and not have to self-forgive
and face that which i accepted and allowed in this world
and correct myself in my living
blaming the physical for creating the guru as superior and me as inferior
within spite
Through this
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself
to give up on myself by surrendering to the guru
believing that that is an act of unconditional love
not seeing and realising that it is
self-suppression
Through this
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself
to suppress who i am in my expression
by surrendering to the guru
making the excuse that i have to survive
and get liberation - so i need to surrender to the guru
justifying that by saying
'i need to be whole - so i have to see the guru - get his blessing as he will make me whole'
seeing through my mind's eyes
defining wholeness and power within a polarity point
of powerlessness and power
rather than wholeness as balance
where i take self-responsibility for all parts of me
looking at how i created my mind as 'my within'
and 'my without' as this world system
writing, self-forgiving, correcting and birthing myself here
as who i am
not seeing and realising that who i am is here
in every moment of breath
able to take self-responsibility
able to direct myself
able to look at how i created my mind
able to self-forgive
able to be humble and look at the evilness of me
able to be patient with myself
and lift myself up everytime i fall
able to start all over again
able to look at my life, the events, the time line, the memories, the past
and bring it back here to see what i have accepted and allowed
in 'my within' as the mind
and 'my without' as this world system
and correct myself
able to trust me
able to love myself unconditionally
able to be intimate with/as myself
able to birth myself as LIFE
able to be with the pulse of my heart
able to be the breath here
able to assist in establishing a world that truly honors life based on equality
So, i commit myself to
when and as i see myself
having a backchat or internal conversation
about anandamurti or any guru or anyone who i see as more than me - i stop - i breathe
I realise that the phsyical/body of the guru is made up of atoms and my body/physical is made up of atoms
so we are equal to/as all that is here
as the atoms on this earth
each one expressing oneself
I commit myself to assist myself to
accept and allow me to bring myself here in the physical
and stay with the pulse of my heart
I assist myself to instead of fearing others
and giving them value more than life
seeing them through my mind's eyes as 'powerful'
seeing me as powerless
and within a concept of wholeness or balance within polarity
make myself powerful
believing that by seeing the guru and surrendering to him/his perceived power
i will also gain power over my mind
believing he will magically remove my 'samaskara or karma'
I commit myself to assist myself to
see through my physical mind's eyes
to birth me here within
wholeness or balance as physical balance
and assist myself to accept and allow me
to glide into the depths of my physical body
as i breathe in, pause, breathe out, pause
and assist myself to accept and allow me
to be intimate with my expression
evolving that expression into physical living
expressing me here as who i am
I commit myself to through writing, self-forgiveness and self correction
in every moment birth myself here
as who i am
The Mathematics of Giving Positive and Negative Mind Values
Vs
Giving values equal to Life
I realise i gave the guru value more than Life
as i fear being powerless i desire someone who has power
and so believing he has power
'gave the following
mind values to
the Guru and Myself'
'Guru = can bring boy from death to life
Guru = can transform carnivorous food into vegetarian food
Guru = can remove my samaskara or karma
Guru = can make a stick smell like flowers
Guru = knows my future
etc.
Guru = Powerful = +100
June = cannot bring boy from death to life
June = cannot transform carnivorous food into vegetarian food
Guru = cannot remove samaskara or karma
June = cannot make stick smell like flowers
June = does not know the future
etc.
June = Powerless = -100'
Not realizing the mind values i am giving are NOT REAL
as i made them up within my mind
from a starting point of FEAR
Fear of being powerless, useless and helpless and so imagined and thought of the Guru as powerful
Then, i lived the illusion
as i as who i have become - as an animated illusion
Lived in 'Bliss' within my mind
blind to what is really happening in
this world
and the poverty and the suffering that is here
trying to do charity
believing that by giving some 'unfortunate' people
this world will change
not realizing that as i do charity
i use the engine of the system
so still supports the system of abuse in this world of inequality
as the evil me existing
in an alternate reality within my mind
where only Bliss exist
comfortable and happy
within my mind
not assisting in establishing a world that truly honors life based on equality
Not realizing
that my body/physical consists of atoms
and the Guru's body/physical consists of atoms
Guru's body/physical = consists of atoms
June's body/physical = consists of atoms
and essentially we are equal
Guru = Life
June = Life
So, we have to live as equals
as all Life
in every moment of breath
able to take self-responsibility
able to direct myself
able to look at how i created my mind
able to self-forgive
able to be humble and look at the evilness of me
able to be patient with myself
and lift myself up everytime i fall
able to start all over again
able to look at my life, the events, the time line, the memories, the past
and bring it back here to see what i have accepted and allowed
in 'my within' as the mind
and 'my without' as this world system
and correct myself
able to trust me
able to love myself unconditionally
able to be intimate with/as myself
able to birth myself as LIFE
able to be with the pulse of my heart
able to be the breath here
able to assist in establishing a world that truly honors life based on equality
So, i commit myself to
when and as i see myself
having a backchat or internal conversation
about anandamurti or any guru or anyone who i see as more than me - i stop - i breathe
I realise that the phsyical/body of the guru is made up of atoms and my body/physical is made up of atoms
so we are equal to/as all that is here
as the atoms on this earth
each one expressing oneself
I commit myself to assist myself to
accept and allow me to bring myself here in the physical
and stay with the pulse of my heart
I assist myself to instead of fearing others
and giving them value more than life
seeing them through my mind's eyes as 'powerful'
seeing me as powerless
and within a concept of wholeness or balance within polarity
make myself powerful
believing that by seeing the guru and surrendering to him/his perceived power
i will also gain power over my mind
believing he will magically remove my 'samaskara or karma'
I commit myself to assist myself to
see through my physical mind's eyes
to birth me here within
wholeness or balance as physical balance
and assist myself to accept and allow me
to glide into the depths of my physical body
as i breathe in, pause, breathe out, pause
and assist myself to accept and allow me
to be intimate with my expression
evolving that expression into physical living
expressing me here as who i am
I commit myself to through writing, self-forgiveness and self correction
in every moment birth myself here
as who i am
===
The Mathematics of Giving Positive and Negative Mind Values
Vs
Giving values equal to Life
I realise i gave the guru value more than Life
as i fear being powerless i desire someone who has power
and so believing he has power
'gave the following
mind values to
the Guru and Myself'
'Guru = can bring boy from death to life
Guru = can transform carnivorous food into vegetarian food
Guru = can remove my samaskara or karma
Guru = can make a stick smell like flowers
Guru = knows my future
etc.
Guru = Powerful = +100
June = cannot bring boy from death to life
June = cannot transform carnivorous food into vegetarian food
Guru = cannot remove samaskara or karma
June = cannot make stick smell like flowers
June = does not know the future
etc.
June = Powerless = -100'
Not realizing the mind values i am giving are NOT REAL
as i made them up within my mind
from a starting point of FEAR
Fear of being powerless, useless and helpless and so imagined and thought of the Guru as powerful
Then, i lived the illusion
as i as who i have become - as an animated illusion
Lived in 'Bliss' within my mind
blind to what is really happening in
this world
and the poverty and the suffering that is here
trying to do charity
believing that by giving some 'unfortunate' people
this world will change
not realizing that as i do charity
i use the engine of the system
so still supports the system of abuse in this world of inequality
as the evil me existing
in an alternate reality within my mind
where only Bliss exist
comfortable and happy
within my mind
not assisting in establishing a world that truly honors life based on equality
Not realizing
that my body/physical consists of atoms
and the Guru's body/physical consists of atoms
Guru's body/physical = consists of atoms
June's body/physical = consists of atoms
and essentially we are equal
Guru = Life
June = Life
So, we have to live as equals
as all Life
