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Thursday, January 3, 2013

Guru Mathematics 4 :Longing Part 2 Day 233 Thoughts

 Journey To Life  Blogs  




This is a continuation of Part 1. 

I will highlight the dimension i am working on in this blog with the color pink- thought dimension

Topic: Self-forgiving me and correcting me in my living application standing equal with the mind and stopping participation to birth me here as equal to/as all Life
Specific Point: My Mind Relationship with the Guru

What is Self-forgiveness?

Why am i using Mathematics?
I am using mathematical symbols to illustrate how i gave mind values instead of giving  real values as the value of every manifestation as equal to the value that is Life 

The Dimensions of the Mind:

Fear: Fear of not being able to go to India and see the guru


Thought : picture of me standing with wide eyes listening to the monk telling me i have to see Baba (the guru)

Imaginationme feeling something different when i see him
Reaction: wonder

Backchat: 'there must be some magical feeling being with the guru'

Body Movement: upper part of chest feeling warm. eyes opening wide

Consequence: learning from how i developed a relationship with the guru  - within existing as an energy experience  that i believed was real when it is in fact existent within a relationship that is coming from a MIND simulated version of reality as the physical body and this physical existence - so facing the consequence and breathing through it as i stand and change and birth me here as who i am

Intoducing The Quantum Mind
Introducing The Quantum Mind System(Systemization)



I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself

to participate in the design of/as 'fear of surviving - as knowledge and information'
think the thought of

a picture of me standing with wonder
eyes wide
 listening to the monk telling me i have to see 
Baba (the guru)

where within this thought 
i activate an entire personality/character

using words separate from me within my mind

where i become an animated illusion

an alternate version of me
in an alternate reality 
within/as my mind

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself 
to separate myself from the word 'Baba' 
through giving it a positive value 
believing the monk 
is someone more than me
i took what she said as my truth
and did what she advised

connecting the word 'Baba' to the 
word 'father'
defining this word as the mind
as who i have become 
within 'surrender and love for the supreme'
believing what the monk said it means

connecting this word to a memory of me 
 'surrendering and loving my dad
was always there when i was growing up to tell me
what i have to do and not do
telling me i have to obey him
believing that if i do whatever he said
i will be free from danger, pain and suffering

instead of realizing that i was connecting 2 personalities/characters
who i have given a value more than life
impulsed by words 
acting from a point of fear of danger, suffering and pain
as who i have become as the mind

and so devoid of common sense 
i abdicated my responsibilities as a mother
to my kids 
and decided to go to India to see him 
justifying that 
by saying
'just surrender to Baba, he will take care of everything, 
he knows your deepest fears and desires'

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself 
to believe that the guru will take care of everything
believing he is 'more than me'
and so justify my not taking responsibility to/as my kids

seeing the kids as 'less than me'
and me more than them 
giving me as their mother a value 'more than life'
believing that because i gave birth to them in this world
they owe their life to me

not realizing that i am a copy of my mom
my mom is a copy of her mom
and my kids are a copy of me 
like a seed that was pre-programmed 
within space and time

not seeing the common sense that we all shit the same way

not realizing that my body/physical 
is equal to the body/physical/substance of my kids

Commitment to Correction
I commit myself to when and as i see myself thinking thoughts 

I stop 
I breathe

I assist myself to bring myself back here 
and change my starting point 

me as the mind 
being driven by information and knowledge 
given to me by the monk
taking it as my truth without investigating it in all ways
within self-interest 

 self-directing me as who i am
deciding for
 what is best for 
everyone who are 'affected' by my decision

Mathematics of Giving Positive and Negative Values
Giving Values Equal to Life

I realized i categorized different personalities/characters 
and as an example 
lets look at these numerical values 
Guru = +30

Monks = +30

My Father = +30

My kids = +10

myself = +20

where the mind value i have
given them is how i see them through my mind's eyes

creating a replica of them in my mind
and imprinting a memory of them in my mind
 according to how they look
according to how i experience them within and as my mind

not realizing that 

i made these values up within and as my mind

seeing them through my mind's eyes

  categorizing them according to how i experience myself
and project these to them

as per how their physical body look

and my mind energy experience of them

 as my mind's definition of them

never really here 
seeing what is here

having internal conversations in my mind

vocalizing an already existent energy relationship 
that i have created in my mind towards them which can be positive, neutral or negative 

instead of seeing them as who they really are equal to who i am
not realizing my body/physical/substance
 is equal to the body/physical/substance of my kids
is equal to the body/physical/substance of my father
is equal to the body/physical/substance of nature

is equal to the body/physical/substance of plants
is equal to the body/physical of animals
is equal to the body/physical/substance of the guru

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