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My Food and Nutrition Blog Site:
http://foodandnutritionjunejourneytolife.blogspot.com/In this blog i am looking at who i have become within a decision i made and the fears that came up
Event:: X-mas gathering with my partner's family
Decision: Make a gravy out of pan drippings and serve it with the pork roast
My partner's decision: Leave the pan drippings as it is - do not make a gravy
I will use self-forgiveness in this blog for fears i saw and continue from Part 3.
I highlighted the Fears i will do self-forgiveness for in this blog, below
I am doing self-commitment in blogs to come and live the correction in my breath by breath movement to birth me here as life.
Fears behind the decision to make a gravy:
Fear of the texture of the gravy (using pan drippings as gravy) not being 'right' as per the culinary standards/rules
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Fear of being a bad chef
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Fear of not being popular
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Fear of not being liked by my partner's family when i bring a pork roast with a thin, runny gravy
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Fear of being alone
↓Fear of being bored by being just by myself
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Fear of going crazy
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Fear of being in a mental institution
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Fear of not being in control
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Fear of being bad
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Fear of hurting/killing others
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Fear of being in prison
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Fear of not having the freedom to live life and not do what I like
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Fear of being sad
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Fear of wasting my time on Earth
Mind Loop
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Fear of REGRETTING the way i lived my life
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Fear that I did not use the time that I had to live life fully
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Fear of blaming myself that I did not live life fully
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Fear of feeling guilty
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Fear of doing something to make up for it
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Fear of starting from the beginning again/reincarnating
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Fear of being in a loop and not getting the whole point of what life is about
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Fear of not knowing who, what, where, when, how I am
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Fear of not doing what is needed of me to be who I am as life
Mind Loop
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Fear of REGRETTING living my life the way i did
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Fear of not being someone who is happy all the time
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Fear of going through a longer process
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Fear of not enjoying the fruits of life fully while living
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Fear of eternal pain/sufferingFear of REGRETTING living my life the way i did
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the design of/as ' fear of surviving - as an individual'
fear looking back after death - regretting the way i lived my life - believing that life is supposed to be spent helping the people that needs help and being a self-realized being - knowing what it means to live life fully - believing that if i will not be able to do this, my entire life on earth will be wasted - not realizing that helping others to have eternal life is from a starting point of separation from all within self-interest and desiring or doing something to be self-realized is from a starting point of separation from all life'
- not realizing that stopping mind participation - as i am here as breath in every moment - is the commonsensical thing to do
Fear of not being someone who is happy all the time
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the design of/as
'fear of surviving - as positive energy' fear not being someone who is happy all the time believing that a life that is always happy is
a fulfilled life not realizing that happiness and sadness are like 2 poles of a magnet which is part of a feedback loop
Fear of going through a longer process
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the design of/as 'Fear of survival - as information and knowledge''
fear not enjoying the fruits of a life that is fully lived believing that when i die and end up finding out there's another reality on the other side - not consistent with what i know life is about when i was alive - i will have to reincarnate and start all over again - believing that that's a waste of my whole life time on earth - instead of realizing that i am here and has always been here as breath in every moment - i only have to move me.
Fear of eternal pain/suffering
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the design of/as ' fear of survival - as energy'
fear eternal pain and suffering believing that if i did not know what life is about and lived life believing it was something else other than what i thought it was - i could end up in pain/suffering eternally believing that i will live regretting i could have lived a happy life and have an eternal life of bliss and happiness
Continued
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