Tao of Food Preparation Recipes

Tao of Food Preparation Recipes
'Living' E-book

Saturday, January 5, 2013

Pork Roast 4: Gravy or No Gravy Day 235 Fear: Survival




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In this blog i am looking at who i have become within a decision i made  and the fears that came up

Event:: X-mas gathering with my partner's family
Decision: Make a gravy out of pan drippings and serve it with the pork roast 

My partner's decision: Leave the pan drippings as it is - do not make a gravy

I will use self-forgiveness in this blog for fears i saw and continue from Part 3.



I highlighted the Fears i will do self-forgiveness for in this blog, below

I am doing self-commitment in blogs to come and live the correction in my breath by breath movement to birth me here as life.

Fears behind the decision to make a gravy: 
Fear of the texture of the gravy (using pan drippings as gravy) not being 'right' as per the culinary standards/rules

Fear of  being a bad chef

Fear of not being popular

Fear of not being liked by my partner's family when i bring a pork roast with a thin, runny gravy

Fear of being alone
 
Fear of being bored by being just by myself

Fear of going crazy

Fear of being in a mental institution

Fear of not being in control

Fear of being bad
 

Fear of hurting/killing others

Fear of being in prison

Fear of not having the freedom to live life and not do what I like

Fear of being sad

Fear of wasting my time on Earth
                                                                                                                 Mind Loop 

Fear of REGRETTING the way i lived my life

Fear that I did not use the time that I had to live life fully

Fear of blaming myself that I did not live life fully

Fear of feeling guilty

Fear of doing something to make up for it

Fear of starting from the beginning again/reincarnating

Fear of being in a loop and not getting the whole point of what life is about

Fear of not knowing who, what, where, when, how I am

Fear of not doing what is needed of me to be who I am as life
                                                                                                                     Mind Loop
  

Fear of REGRETTING living my life the way i did
 
Fear of not being someone who is happy all the time
 
Fear of going through a longer process

Fear of not enjoying the fruits of life fully while living
 

Fear of eternal pain/suffering

Fear of REGRETTING living my life the way i did
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the design of/as ' fear of surviving - as an individual'
fear looking back after death - regretting the way i lived my life - believing that life is supposed to be spent helping the people that needs help and being a self-realized being - knowing what it means to live life fully - believing that if i will not be able to do this,  my entire life on earth will be wasted - not realizing that helping others to have eternal life is from a starting point of separation from all  within self-interest and desiring or doing something to be self-realized is  from a starting point of separation from all life' 
- not realizing that stopping mind participation - as i am here as breath in every moment - is the commonsensical thing to do
 

Fear of not being someone who is happy all the time
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the design of/as

'fear of surviving - as positive energy' fear not being someone who is happy all the time believing that a life that is always happy is
a fulfilled life not realizing that happiness and sadness are like 2 poles of a magnet which is part of a feedback loop 

Fear of going through a longer process
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the design of/as  'Fear of survival - as information and knowledge''
fear not enjoying the fruits of a life that is fully lived believing that when i die and end up finding out there's another reality on the other side - not consistent with what i know  life is about when i was alive - i will have to reincarnate and start all over again - believing that that's a waste of my whole life time on earth - instead of realizing that i am here and has always been here as breath in every moment - i only have to move me.


Fear of eternal pain/suffering

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the design of/as ' fear of survival - as  energy'
fear eternal pain and suffering believing that if i did not know what life is about and lived life believing it was something else other than what i thought it was - i could end up in pain/suffering eternally believing that i will live regretting i could have lived a happy life and have an eternal life of bliss and happiness

Continued

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