Bridging Heaven On Earth: Clothes

Clothes come from plants from the earth for ALL - as Team Life

Let there be CLOTHES for ALL to protect the body from adverse weather conditions

Let no one be deprived of clothes

- by June Roca

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Bridging Heaven on Earth

http://bridgingheavenonearth.com

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Femininity 6: School, Dance, Music & Movement

Picture of Males and Females Dancing a Filipino Folk Dance

Femininity

Part 1 Copied

http://junejourneytolife.blogspot.com/2015/08/femininity-part-1.html

Part 2 My Mom, Grandmother and Great Grandmother

http://junejourneytolife.blogspot.com/2015/08/femininity-part-2.html

Part 3 Cooking

http://junejourneytolife.blogspot.com/2015/08/femininity-part-3-cooking.html

4 Nurture

http://junejourneytolife.blogspot.com/2015/08/femininity-part-4-nurture.html

5 Feminine Mystique

http://junejourneytolife.blogspot.com/2015/08/femininity-part-5-filipina-mystique.html

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When I bring my childhood memories back here, what stands out was my experience of dancing in school during convocations or class presentations. My eyes light up whenever I get selected to dance as part of a group or alone with a male partner. The school dance performance became the platform where I was able to move my body with my partner in tune to the music and express my interpretation of a certain event in time. 

It was a reenactment of an event using movement and music which was taught to us - by our choreographer. It was not really me directing the dance. I was a willing and able participant.

The dances I participated in were mostly Filipino Folk dances. One specific dance that was easy and fun to do was one with an accompanying music called 'Magtanim Ay Di Biro' - translated, 'Planting Rice Is Not Easy'. This music and dance routine depicted the life of rice farmers who worked from very early morning to sundown, planting rice. They were being paid by the land owners to cultivate and plant rice in their land. They divide the money from the sale of the rice between themselves with the land owners sometimes paying the workers money or in kind (rice) or both.

Picture of children about to dance as part of a school presentation 

YOUTUBE VIDEO:

At a young age, I did not know that the dance I was doing was about the difficult life of farmers. All I know was that when I was in that dancing costume with my classmates and co-dancers, I was in a jolly mood. Somehow while wearing the costume, I imagined stepping into a new world that was all about 'f-u-n'. 

The costume was made and bought for me to use in the presentation by my grandmother or my mom. In my mind, the new multi-colored costume, the music, plus the audience watching us perform, all come together to create a new feminine experience of  'myself'.  This feminine experience was enhanced by having a boy as my partner. They do not wear skirts. They wear pants. Their dance movement is what we normally call 'male dance moves'. As a female, I was asked to hold my skirt a certain way and create flowing movements left and right while the males move to show how rice is being planted in an up and down fashion. We can see through the dance movement, the feminine and masculine roles of each gender in the community. 

In general (there are exceptions), the girls depicted the role of the women (cleaning the rice and possibly cooking it) and the boys depicted the role of the men (planting rice and possibly getting paid for their labor).

Real people planting rice under the heat of the sun 

Planting rice was real hard work. This was far different from having a costume and dancing with the 'Magtanim Ay Di Biro' music.

I realized that dancing with those flowing movements using my whole body allowed me to form an idea that those body movements were my feminine expression. I was not fully aware that those movements were taught to us by our choreographer - even if that was the case.  So it was me acting out the ideas the choreographer had on how feminine expression should be expressed in a particular dance given the parameters handed down from generation to generation.

The audience were the  people (as parents and teachers) who  were giving everyone feedback regarding whether or not this was worth the time and effort - in the form of an applause.

No one was assessing the significance of this in our cultural perception of ourselves and how the gender roles are learned in school with the parents and teachers playing significant roles in shaping our social construct on gender and movement.

Continued...

Femininity Part 5: Filipina Mystique: Maria Clara

Femininity

Part 1

http://junejourneytolife.blogspot.com/2015/08/femininity-part-1.html

Part 2

http://junejourneytolife.blogspot.com/2015/08/femininity-part-2.html

Part 3

http://junejourneytolife.blogspot.com/2015/08/femininity-part-3-cooking.html

Part 4

http://junejourneytolife.blogspot.com/2015/08/femininity-part-4-nurture.html

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When I was growing up, I was told to do that which is 'feminine, good and moral'.

I did not realize that unknowingly saying 'yes' to this - because of fear of being labeled a 'rebel' - will be me giving up my freedom to be and do that which I decided to be an unselfish creative expression of myself as a female.

I reacted in my mind to what I saw was an authoritative 'reprimand' from my elders. But since they were my caretakers, I cannot go against them. So, I ended up suppressing my innate creative expression and in an effort to obey them, I embraced the reprimand and incorporated it as if it was my own believing that it will be easier to follow that way. Then, in a somewhat manipulative way, I created another personality and made it appear as if I have more value - where the secret part of me (that which I suppressed - the secret inferior me) was seen as an added value that made me appear having more value specially to the opposite sex.

That part of me that cannot speak out openly became the 'soft, feminine side of me' that eventually evolved to having the 'mystic power' to draw the males toward me to want to get to know me more. I made use of this 'hidden inferior identity' to get the opposite sex to believe I was different than the rest (the softer, more feminine me), that there is something more to me than what meets the eye - an illusion that I transcended the suppressed me.

I created that 'special' feminine personality based from the illusion that my 'hidden feminine personality' needs to be conquered because it is 'unique'. The media called it the 'Maria Clara' personality. Translated in English, I call it the 'Filipina Mystique'. This was also a personality or character I created  to make myself 'special' in the eyes of the opposite sex. I used this illusion of softness to get them to want to rescue or assist me whenever I need help - and within that, believed they were stronger than me. It then evolved as my 'soft feminine' personality.

I used this to enhance the courtship games I used to play with the males. In my mind, I have this computation or opinion that, if I covered myself with a shroud of mystery, they would come and try to unravel that mystery. This was what I called the 'mysterious feminine personality' .I spoke indirectly to males who were courting me. I was always evasive. When asked whether I like them, I would say 'no' or 'maybe' even if I would like to know them more . I also did this to please my dad who did not approve of me having a boyfriend in high school.

My real identity was buried under the multiple characters that became my alternate persona without even being aware of what I was doing and why I was doing it, plus the consequence of all that.

 This feminine personality was enhanced more through the way I dress.

When we have school events or whenever our school had a beauty contest where I participated in, where I dressed up in a gown or Filipino dress, I can feel some form of enjoyment which I believed was the feminine in me.

I believed the texture of the soft cloth that brushed on my skin and harmonized with the way I walked as a feminine was providing me with added value.

I believed the beads sewn on the cloth were glitters that shined because I was 'special'. I associated it with the gowns worn by female actresses that I believed were 'more special'.  

I believed the shape of the sleeves were unique to the country where I came from - adding on to the value of the character, I am portraying. The matching high-heeled shoes, although hidden, I believed contributed to the overall portrayal of my feminine character. All the ornaments I wore were there to enhance my worth - as a feminine character that is evolving in my mind. 

Thee necklace I wore enhanced my neck that is part of my feminine rendition of a personality that was standing tall and proud of being feminine. The bracelets matched my necklace which I believed enhanced my arms that swayed with my hips and neck as I walk - that was a representation of softness and grace in my mind.

I had the impression that I was more fluid in my gestures, more expressive in my smile, and more sympathetic and kind in my speech. 

Was this a pure feminine expression? 

Although it felt like it, this was not my pure feminine expression. It was part of a feminine personality that I learned from the females in my family. I  watched them and copied their behaviors, attitudes, characteristics, and roles that they performed. Then, I labeled them feminine. Through this, I enhanced my view of myself - within inferiority.

In contrast, I saw masculinity as reserved and direct, tough and unyielding. 

Continued...

Femininity Part 4 Nurture

Femininity

Part 1 Copied

http://junejourneytolife.blogspot.com/2015/08/femininity-part-1.html

Part 2 My Mom, Grandmother and Great Grandmother

http://junejourneytolife.blogspot.com/2015/08/femininity-part-2.html

Part 3 Cooking

http://junejourneytolife.blogspot.com/2015/08/femininity-part-3-cooking.html

4 Nurture

http://junejourneytolife.blogspot.com/2015/08/femininity-part-4-nurture.html

5 Feminine Mystique

http://junejourneytolife.blogspot.com/2015/08/femininity-part-5-filipina-mystique.html

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When I was young, my mother studied in the city to finish her degree in accounting, so I lived with 1 aunt and 3 uncles in my grandmother's house. Their task was to help my mother while she studied. They took care of me.  I particularly bonded with my grandmother and my aunt. They were females and I know I was a female because they said so. Whenever they can, they reminded me of my feminine role in our culture. 

One thing that I learned when I was young living with them is the saying 'women nurture the family members'. My grandmother fits this role perfectly. She nurtured all of us when we were sick and provided food on the table daily. 

She was a dress maker. She made clothes for people and made sure we all ate 3 x a day. 

It was an extended family where everyone took care of everyone. 

During night time, I helped prepare the bed including putting her 'night granny potty' next to her bed.

We all slept in one part of the house without a dividing wall. My grandmother's house was made of bamboo, so before we sleep I helped lay down the mat plus blankets and hang the mosquito net on top of it, so mosquitoes will not come inside.

My childhood was filled with play, housework and school work. But when I get sick with fever, my grandmother was there to take care of me. 

Since I did not have appetite to eat when I had a fever, my grandmother used to feed me by munching on this cookie called 'aglipay' in her mouth and she used to feed it to me through my mouth. It was warm in my mouth. I was uncaring whether or not it tasted good, or whether it is sanitary or not. I was a kid who did what I was told to do by people who nurtured me and fed me, so I did what I was told to do. 

I know that my grandmother did what she knew best. So, bringing this memory back here makes me smile.

She used to drench the hand towel with a little bit of water and vinegar.  After she rung the extra water and vinegar from the hand towel, she folds it in a rectangular shape and puts it on my forehead. I was instructed to leave it there while I slept or while I relaxed in bed.  

She believed that this will take care of the fever and will make me feel better. 

After a few days, my fever would subside. So, I believed that whatever she did worked. I believed what she believed - that this was the best cure for fever. I did not question where she learnt this and why this worked. I merely accepted it as my grandmother's way of helping me out when I was sick.

Another food she used to give me when I was sick was porridge. It was made of rice, water and salt. That's it. Since I did not have appetite to eat, this also worked. It was soft and easy to swallow.

After she cooked the porridge, she would sit beside me and feed me using a spoon.

Continued...

Femininity Part 3 Cooking

Femininity

Part 1 Copied

http://junejourneytolife.blogspot.com/2015/08/femininity-part-1.html

Part 2 My Mom, Grandmother and Great Grandmother

http://junejourneytolife.blogspot.com/2015/08/femininity-part-2.html

Part 3 Cooking

http://junejourneytolife.blogspot.com/2015/08/femininity-part-3-cooking.html

4 Nurture

http://junejourneytolife.blogspot.com/2015/08/femininity-part-4-nurture.html

5 Feminine Mystique

http://junejourneytolife.blogspot.com/2015/08/femininity-part-5-filipina-mystique.html

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I enjoy food preparation, cooking and eating.

When we were young,  my mom, my grandmother, and my great grandmother were the ones who cooked for us (my extended family). They were the ones who asked us what food we wanted to eat and they prepared, cooked, and ate it with us.

My great grandmother was the one who made those coconut sweets that I liked to eat when I was in the elementary grades. It was square shaped, chewy, sweet and had a hint of lime peels in it.

She had a store in front of our school and during recess, I went to her store and eat whatever I liked too eat. I had memories of drinking soda in glass bottles and eating some Philippine made biscuits which were mostly made of flour, sugar and milk. The one I particularly remembered was the round cookie that had a red food color outside and the 2 flaky, crispy cookies called 'romano' and 'aglipay' which was named after 2 religious groups in our town. How did it get its name? I do not have a clue.

Recess was not only a 'pleasure trip' to my great grandmother's store. It was also a trip to the back of our school where housewives sell 'goodies' in their baskets to earn a little bit of money that will pay for the food they prepare for their family.

I did not learn cooking though until I was married. I learned to cook to be able to feed my family.

Cooking became part of my feminine role not because I chose to but because our culture was set up in a way where women played a big role in feeding and taking care of family member's needs on a daily basis - which included cooking food.

Philippine pork adobo with rice

My great grandmother and my grandmother had a stone stove (like the one in the picture below). 

This was where they cooked our food with the help of housemaids using cut wood as fuel.

Continued...

Femininity Part 2 My Mother, Grandmother and Great Grandmother

Femininity

Part 1

Copied

http://junejourneytolife.blogspot.com/2015/08/femininity-part-1.html

Part 2 My Mom, Grandmother and Great Grandmother

http://junejourneytolife.blogspot.com/2015/08/femininity-part-2.html

Part 3 Cooking

http://junejourneytolife.blogspot.com/2015/08/femininity-part-3-cooking.html

Part 4 Nurture

http://junejourneytolife.blogspot.com/2015/08/femininity-part-4-nurture.html

Part 5 Feminine Mystique

http://junejourneytolife.blogspot.com/2015/08/femininity-part-5-filipina-mystique.html

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I realized my femininity is a set of roles I copied from my mom and other females around me when i was growing up which our community validated as feminine roles. 

One of the roles I learned from watching my mom is putting make-up on my face.

When my mom went to a community event, she would put on a color coordinated dress/clothes or if it is slacks, she would wear them with a colorful shirt. She will go to the mirror, put on some lipstick. Then, she smacks her lips together so the red color will stick to her lips. She puts on foundation which has a light tan shade. The next thing she puts on is some blush-on and a blue gray shade of eye shadow. 

She had many different kinds of shoes so she usually picks one that will match her clothes. She puts it on and picks up her bag which is also color coordinated with her clothes.

My mom (wearing black) on the right

What I had a strong memory of was that she liked to buy new clothes or bags, shoes, and necklace  for her or for us to wear during family or community events. 

My grandmother also did the same 'feminine' add-ons. 

While my mom beautified herself when she attended community gatherings and meetings related to her role as a town counsellor, my grandmother beautified herself before she went to church almost everyday by putting on a red lipstick.

 What I remembered about her was that she liked putting small red peppers on her hair or sometimes she puts Jasmine flowers (Philippine variety) or Ylang-ylang on her hair. I used to smell the flowers on her hair and enjoy its aroma. 

She used a natural shampoo made from the bark of a tree and she would rinse it off with lime flavored water. Her hair's aroma had a hint of lime. I used to enjoy smelling her hair when she came out of the bathroom after she had a Philippine shower which was not really how we wash ourselves in the shower here in the US. 

She used a container in the past, puts the water there with some lime juice and then rinse her hair and body with the flavored water using a small container to scoop the water out of the bigger container on to her body and hair.

Continued...

Clothes Paranoia: Dressing for The Money Day 304

Store

Redefining Words    

Parenting:Perfecting The Human Race

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

In this blog i am looking at 
how i use clothes within my life 
and seeing that i use money to buy clothes to:
win
desiring to attract other men
desiring to be superior to others
desiring to be praised by others etc.

as the mind in a paranoia state
being directed by my thoughts 
within my fears

fear of being alone
fear of being inferior
fear of others making me less than them

I am directing myself in this blog

I am doing self-forgiveness 
for desiring to use money to manifest my desires
instead of facing my fears
running away from them
to have a positive energy experience
within satisfying my desires

with my fears fueling my desires
i realized that i have to face them 
and take self-responsibility for what i 
accepted and allowed in my world 
in 'my within'  as the mind 
and in 'my without' as this world system

What is self-forgiveness?

http://juneroca.com/home/my-process/self-forgiveness/

I am also writing a commitment to correction script
in the coming blogs and apply the corrections in my living
with regards to:
how i use money to buy clothes
how i use clothes to attract men
how i use clothes to win in competitions
imagined within my mind
within fear of survival

Self-forgiveness Statements:

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself
to participate in the design of
fear of survival as form - as money - as energy

fear that i will not be part of the 'in' crowd
believing that the 'in' crowd are the people 
who dress according to what is fashionable
based on what the media dictates

believing that if i am part of the 'in' crowd
I am in the flow of life
believing that my idea of the good life is what real life is about
believing that life is about a positive energy experience/happiness

fearing being inferior when i dress in a sloppy way
believing that when i dress in a sloppy way
i will be judged by others as ugly

fearing to be inferior
desiring to be superior

so desires to spend money to buy new clothes
even when i still have clothes to wear
believing that the more clothes i buy
the more choices i have

believing that the more choices i have 
on what i will wear in a day
the happier i become 
and the happier i become
the more positive energy experience i have
within an alternate reality 
as the alternate version of me within my mind
the evil me
never here - in this physical reality

instead of realizing that i am not defined by 
positive, neutral or negative energy experiences
realizing clothes and the body 
both comes from the dust of the earth
and will go back to dust when we die

believing that days where my family or friends have events 
are more than normal days
believing that events 
like birthdays, anniversaries, graduations, marriage etc
are special days

believing that in special days
i have to wear special clothes
to stand out 
and be praised for having nice clothes
by people attending the event
believing that if they look up to me
I am superior 
I am successful
which i equate to happiness

dressing to win

instead of realizing days are equal to other days
expressing myself here 
as the breath
in every moment
within a body 
that i clothe to be comfortable

desiring to buy new clothes that are sexy to wear for parties
to dance in discos
the evil me
wanting to attract men
believing that if i will be ale to attract men
i will have more choices 
to be married with the perfect man of my dreams
someone who's handsome, with lots of money and very spiritual
believing that if i do so, 
i have more chance to survive as the personality
i have more chance to have a relationship that will last
that will never die

instead of realizing i am here living life
moving me moment by moment
as the breath
so rather than desire
DE-al with the 'alternate S-elf 'as me as the personality that IRE
face my fear of survival- as money - as form - as energy
self-forgive
write a correction script
and apply myself in my living
to birth me here as someone who will always stand for what is best for all

realizing  that money and clothes come from the dust of the earth 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself 
to doubt who i am
the one who is uncertain of whether i am 
the one who fears survival and uses money to buy clothes
that will make me win/superior/have a positive energy experience
the same one who lose and have a negative experience 
or the one who gives money a value equal to life
and gives clothes a value equal to life
using clothes
to make my body comfortable

instead of realizing i am here as breath
within a body 
developing an equal and one relationship with it
and using clothes and money for what is best for all

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to
blame the physical for creating different kinds of clothes that 
make others superior and make others inferior

instead of realizing it is me as the mind
competing with others perceived separate from me
to survive
so it is me who is going to take self-responsibility
looking at where my clothes were made
how they are made 
and which materials were used to make them
realizing that these materials come from the earth
where the dust come from
the dust where all come from
and will one day return

to correct myself in my living
in how i buy and use clothes
making sure i use them for 
making the body comfortable
realizing that the body and the clothes
is equal to who i am, what i am and how i am


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to
have the excuse that i have to survive as someone who is 
well dressed for any occasion
where people will respect me for how i dress
notice me for what clothes i wear
and look up to me as someone superior
so i survive as the personality
within fear of not surviving 
within fear of inferiority/losing 
desiring to be superior/winning
in a world of competition

instead of realizing i am here 
as breath in every moment 
stopping what i accepted and allowed
in 'my within' -as the mind
and in 'my without' - as this world system
to birth me - as all life

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to 
justify the excuse that i have to survive
as someone who is using clothes to have a positive energy experience
to win/survive/attract others etc.
within balance in polarity - as winning and losing
to be whole

instead of realizing real wholeness
does not need separation from the source

realizing that instead of
connecting/defining clothes to/within other words
charging them with a positive and negative value
redefine the words i use
redefine myself 
redefine life

living the redefined meanings of 
who i am, what i am and how i am
as equal to all that is here