===
In this blog, i am looking at who i have become as the 'I don't care' character in my mind, within wanting to have 'eternal happiness' in sex, not caring about the consequence of having that desire within my mind - in the physical/body /substance - to through writing, self-forgiveness and commitment to correction, assist myself to apply myself in my breath by breath, moment by moment living to correct myself and birth me here as life - equal to all that is here.
Self-forgiveness
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to
separate from what is here
so became 'unaware' of what is here in this physical existence
so became 'unaware' of what is here in this physical existence
through having thoughts
imaginations
backchats
reactions
within my mind
where i have 'no awareness' that i am living here
in this physical body
in this actual physical reality
that is in fact aware of my physical relationship to the whole
'not aware 'of
and 'does not care about'
the very
physical body
that i use to move around
that i use to express me here
where i instead of seeing the physical body in equality and oneness
abused the physical body
where the evil me
use the mind to manipulate
abused the physical body
where the evil me
use the mind to manipulate
the physical body
to justify my desire for the 'positive energetic experience'
within spiritual sex
wanting to learn and experience
'tantric sex'
and 'taoist sex'
desiring 'eternal happiness'
within spiritual sex
wanting to learn and experience
'tantric sex'
and 'taoist sex'
desiring 'eternal happiness'
and in that desire for 'eternal happiness within 'sex'
use the physical body
to satisfy that desire
not realizing that the consequence of that
is that the body is being resourced by the mind
for energy, where sustenance the body needs to survive
is being transformed to energy
for the mind to exist
so i can experience my idea of what 'eternal happiness' is
not realizing that the 'positive always comes from the negative'
as within that 'positive experience'
the mind will have to transform the nutrients in the body to energy
for it to exist/survive
and experience that 'positive energy experience'
not realizing that sex is a physical act of
not realizing that the consequence of that
is that the body is being resourced by the mind
for energy, where sustenance the body needs to survive
is being transformed to energy
for the mind to exist
so i can experience my idea of what 'eternal happiness' is
not realizing that the 'positive always comes from the negative'
as within that 'positive experience'
the mind will have to transform the nutrients in the body to energy
for it to exist/survive
and experience that 'positive energy experience'
not realizing that sex is a physical act of
interacting with someone
in an agreement
with someone
as oneself
birthing self here with someone
with someone
as oneself
birthing self here with someone
as an equal
both physically expressing here
and birthing a world that truly honors life
and birthing a world that truly honors life
===
Commitment to Correction
I commit myself to when and as i see myself not being aware
that i am living here in the physical body in this actual physical reality
as i participate in thoughts,
imaginations,
backchats/internal conversations
wanting 'eternal ecstasy' in 'spiritual sex'
within my mind
as i desire 'eternal happiness'
within my mind
coming from fear of not existing, fear of pain, fear of suffering, fear of sadness etc.
where i use the mind to manipulate the body
to justify my 'desire for eternal happiness within sex'
I stop
I breathe
I change my starting point
from 'desiring within my mind separating from all that is here'
to equalizing with the physical/substance/body
and
assist myself to see, realize and understand the
simplicity of
living as
who i am here
writing
where i can look at what i am participating in within my mind
realizing this is not 'who i am'
'separate from all that is here'
in an 'alternate reality'
where i am 'an alternate version of me separate from all that is here'
always 'trying to win'
directing myself to write
forgiving myself
in an intimate way
for separating myself (as the mind)
from myself (as the physical body/substance)
from not realizing i can actually help myself
and then release myself
and set myself free
from the burden of my past in my mind that is hunting me
where i acted in separation from all that is here
in my mind
directing myself to 'take my power back'
to change myself
(as an individual in self-interest )
for myself
(as an individual standing for what is best for all life)
and correct my starting point in my living application
being aware of who i am as the body
equal to the substance
equal to the body of nature
equal to the the body of animals
equal to the body of plants
realizing i am made from the same substance all are made of
walking on the face of the earth with all that is here
as
All Life
to instead of desiring 'eternal happiness within spiritual sex'
enjoy the expression of the physical body within an agreement
as i physically interact with my partner
as myself
enjoying the
real sensation
aware of my movements and his movements
within that physical interaction
seeing my partner as an equal
and expressing myself
within that standing
within physical interaction
redefining 'desire'
as dissing/releasing the 'I' in relation to energy
separating from the whole - as life,
as DIS-s the 'I' in R-elation to E-nergy
the physical/body interacting with another body
made of the same substance as itself
as i interact with my partner
realizing the body of my partner
is equal to my body
realizing my body
is equal to the body of nature
is equal to the body of plants
is equal to the body of animals etc.
as all are made from the same substance all are made of
and as i birth myself in this physical existence
birth life on earth
and birth a world that truly honors life
===
from 'desiring within my mind separating from all that is here'
to equalizing with the physical/substance/body
and
assist myself to see, realize and understand the
simplicity of
living as
who i am here
writing
where i can look at what i am participating in within my mind
realizing this is not 'who i am'
'separate from all that is here'
in an 'alternate reality'
where i am 'an alternate version of me separate from all that is here'
always 'trying to win'
directing myself to write
forgiving myself
in an intimate way
from myself (as the physical body/substance)
from not realizing i can actually help myself
and then release myself
and set myself free
from the burden of my past in my mind that is hunting me
where i acted in separation from all that is here
in my mind
directing myself to 'take my power back'
to change myself
(as an individual in self-interest )
for myself
(as an individual standing for what is best for all life)
and correct my starting point in my living application
being aware of who i am as the body
equal to the substance
equal to the body of nature
equal to the the body of animals
equal to the body of plants
realizing i am made from the same substance all are made of
walking on the face of the earth with all that is here
as
All Life
to instead of desiring 'eternal happiness within spiritual sex'
enjoy the expression of the physical body within an agreement
as i physically interact with my partner
as myself
enjoying the
real sensation
aware of my movements and his movements
within that physical interaction
seeing my partner as an equal
and expressing myself
within that standing
within physical interaction
redefining 'desire'
as dissing/releasing the 'I' in relation to energy
separating from the whole - as life,
as DIS-s the 'I' in R-elation to E-nergy
the physical/body interacting with another body
made of the same substance as itself
as i interact with my partner
realizing the body of my partner
is equal to my body
realizing my body
is equal to the body of nature
is equal to the body of plants
is equal to the body of animals etc.
as all are made from the same substance all are made of
and as i birth myself in this physical existence
birth life on earth
and birth a world that truly honors life
===
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