Decoding Female Programming: Day 263: Excuse

From Relationship To Agreement

My Process
Re: Me In An Agreement 

 Relationship Mathematics

Store

My Food Blog  

Topic:

Me as The Female Personality
Relationships and Sexual Programming:


>Fear of loss/not surviving as a female personality
>>Desire to be attracted to a male ormales be attracted to me
>>>Desire to have a relationship with a male
>>>>Desire to have sex with a male
>>>>>Satisfaction, i am complete as a female
>>>>>>Excuse: I have to survive as a female

Note: The fear of losing the female personality comes up when one does not have a relationship (or when one is dissatisfied with a partner etc.) which fuels the desire to be attracted to a male or desire for males to be attracted to me.
One then extends this desire by desiring a relationship with a male and then desiring to have sex with a male.
One gets a positive experience from this.
The question is : Is this who i really  am?
That, i did not ask myself. I forgot that the positive came from a negative - a fear.
I did not investigate where that fear originated.
I did not see the pattern (part of my female programming)
I  accepted and allowed it.
Then, i gave an excuse why it is okay for me to participate in this mind pattern.
I lived like a female  being directed by the mind, rather than a self-directive human female expressing
oneself here

The starting point of this is self-interest and not what is best for all life.

In this blog, i am writing self-forgiveness for having this excuse as part of my process of self-perfection

===

Why am i using Self-forgiveness?
http://juneroca.com/my-process/self-forgiveness/

I am using  self-forgiveness and writing a correction script to follow and correct myself  in my living participation

 Why am I Using Mathematics?
I am using mathematical symbols at the end of this post to show that the MIND values i have given are NOT REAL, showing the real value of ALL is/as Life.

===
Self-forgiveness Statement:

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself
to participate in the design of fear of survival - as sex

have the excuse that
i have to survive as a female
desiring attraction to a male
desiring males to be attracted to me
desiring relationship with a male
desiring having good sex with a male

believing that I will lose my female identity/personality
If i do not desire attraction  to a male/males being attracted to me
If i do not desire relationship with a male
If i do not desire having good sex with a male
If i do not desire getting married with a male
If i do not have a baby with the male i am married to

believing I will not survive as a female

not seeing and realizing that  
I am here as breath in every moment
as presence, as movement, as sensation
and that i can express myself  as a female equal to the male expression

Realizing
that i do not really need to have an excuse
that i can take self-responsibility

===

Commitment: 
Self-Correction Script:

I commit myself to when and as I see myself having the excuse
that I will lose my female personality/not survive as a female
I stop
I breathe

I realize that

I defined myself into creation

I defined myself within birth and death as the beginning and the end
I defined myself as a female separate from a male
defining myself within a polarity equation
so forgive myself for my acceptances and allowances
and correct myself breath by breath
moment by moment


Realizing that
the fear of losing the female identity/personality
is fueling
the desire for having a female identity/personality

I assist myself to
face that fear
walk back and look at the problem, provide a solution
redefine words 
see that there is a reward in transcending my fear
birthing me here as who i really am
not directed by the mind
self-directive
 
I assist myself to see that there is nothing to lose
as there was nothing real gained
for having a female personality
I imagined it in my mind

I assist myself to 
write a self-correction script
and live that
taking myself by the hand
assist myself to 'walk out of the mind'
moment by moment
breath by breath


Realize that I am here as breathe in every moment
I am that beingness/ awareness
that is merged with the body and the mind

so I forgive myself for mind participation
correct myself in my living participation
and release my beingness

to through writing, self-forgiveness and self - corrective applicatrion
birth me here as life

===

The Mathematics of Giving Positive and Negative Values
Vs
Giving Values Equal To Life

I realized i had given mind values and formed mind equations

'as in

female + male =complete/whole = +100
female - male = incomplete/ half complete = -100

complete female = attraction with a male+ relationship with a male +good  sex with a male = security = eternal happiness =eternal survival as a female personality = +1000

where
eternal happiness = eternal survival as a female personality= +1000'

I realized that 
I had given words such as ''male', 'female', complete', 'incomplete', 'half,' 'whole' etc. 
mind values that are not real
I made up a mind equation within my mind that is not real
it has no real physical existence

Realizing that i can rewrite the book i have written within myself
I can rescript the movie within my mind
from the starting point of self-interest
to  a starting point of what is best for all life

to through writing, self-forgiveness and self correction birth me here as life

Realizing that
the value of a female body = Life
the value of a male body = Life
the value of all that is here = Life

Realizing that
The body of the female
and the body of the male
consist of cells which consist of atoms
consisting substance
that ALL consist of

All = Life

Decoding Female Sexual Programming: Doubt: Day 261

From Relationship To Agreement

My Process
Re: Me In An Agreement 

 Relationship Mathematics

Store

My Food Blog  

Topic:

Me as The Female Personality
Relationships and Sexual Programming:

Female Personality Split:
 #1 Complete Woman
>Fear of loss/not surviving as the female personality
>>doubting who i am
>>>desire: attraction to a male, got attracted
> >>>desire: relationship with a male, got a relationship
>> >>>desire: good sex with a male , having good sex with a male
>>>>>>satisfied, complete woman/female
#2 Incomplete Woman
>Fear of loss/not surviving as the female personality
>>doubting who i am
>>>desire: attraction to a male, rejected
>>>>desire: relationship with a male, no relationship, alone
>>>>>desire: good sex with a male, not having good sex with a male  
>>>>>>dissatisfied, incomplete woman/female 


Note: 
There's Fear of loss/fear of not surviving as a female/woman 
within my mind when  'in or out of a relationship'
Split is created within my mind
Doubt sets in -unsure of whether 'i am a complete woman/female or an incomplete woman/female


Note: My participation in DOUBT will be self-forgiven in this blog.

Why am i using Self-forgiveness?
http://juneroca.com/my-process/self-forgiveness/

I am using  self-forgiveness and writing a correction script to correct myself  in my living participation

 Why am I Using Mathematics?
I am using mathematical symbols at the end of this post to show that the MIND values i have given are NOT REAL, showing the real value of ALL is/as Life.

===

Self-forgiveness Statements:

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself
to participate in the design of/as fear of survival - as sex

doubt who i  have become - as the female personality

uncertain of who i am

perceiving i split into 2
within my mind

the one desiring attraction
to a male/the one males are getting attracted to
or the one NOT desiring attraction
to a male/man - the one who males are not attracted to?

the one who desires a relationship with a male/man
or the one who does NOT desire a relationship with a male/man?

the one who desires good sex with a man
defined as a complete woman
or the one that does NOT desire
good sex with a man?

believing that if i do not desire
to be attracted to a a man/male
or desire males/men to be attracted to me
i am incomplete as a woman/female

believing that if men do not get attracted to me
i am incomplete as a woman
believing that if men gets attracted to me and me gets attracted to a man/male
i am complete as a woman/female
believing that if i am not in a relationship with a man/male
i am incomplete as a woman
believing that if i am in a relationship with a male/man
i am complete as a woman/female

believing that if i desire having sex with a man/male
i am complete as a woman/female
believing that if i do not desire having good sex with a man/male
i am incomplete as a woman/female

not realizing that i am here as breath in every moment
moving me, expressing me
as the trinity, the physical/body, the mind and my beingness/real awareness
so it is to realize that i have to release myself from this definition
and redefined myself as a female
redefine who i am, what i am and how i am
and live that
birthing me here as equal to Life
===

Commitment: Self Correction: Script:

I commit myself to when and as i see myself
doubting who i am  as a female
based on my beliefs

I stop
I breathe

I realized that this is me as the mind
as the feminine personality

fearing to  lose my female personality
refusing to face my fear
refusing to see the problem
refusing to provide a solution and
refusing to see the reward of transcending my fear
and refusing to correct myself in my living participation

taking the easy way out

desiring to achieve a sense of completion
desiring to win

not seeing and realizing that
my starting point is based on self-interest

not realizing that this is how i programmed myself
as a female personality
as who i have become as the mind

So, I assist myself to see
that i am here as breath in every moment

and see that i created my fears
and it is to walk back and see the beliefs behind it
forgive myself
correct myself in my living
stabilize me as breath

see what is here as the physical
instead of going within/as my mind


clap my hand once
wake myself up

stay with my heartbeat
feel my pulse

and see the physical as what it is
see the equality of/as Life
and live that
as who i am, what i am and how i am

===
The Mathematics of Giving Positive and Negative Values
Vs
Giving Values Equal To Life

I realized that i have 
made an equation within my mind:

'where within my mind
a split exist :

1. a complete woman : attracted to a male, having a relationship with a male and having good sex with a male
or 
2.an incomplete woman: not attracted to a male, not having a relationship with a male, not having good sex with a male
 
'where

The Mind Equation is: 
Fear of not being attracted to males = - 100
Fear of 'males not being attracted to me = -100
Fear of not having a relationship with a male = -100
Fear of not having good sex with a male = -100

Desire to be attracted to a male = +100
Desire for males to be attracted to me = +100
Desire to have a relationship with a male = +100
Desire to have sex with a male = +100 

Complete woman/female = attracted to  a male = +100
Complete woman = relationship with a male = +100
Complete woman = good sex with a male = +100

Incomplete woman/female = no  attraction to a male = -100
Incomplete woman = no relationship with a male = -100
Incomplete woman = no good sex with a male = -100'

Realizing:
*Fear is the base platform of the mind
*Desire is fueled by fear

*the woman's body as the physical is real  as it has a real physical existence

*the fear of losing/not surviving as the female personality is not real as i imagined it within my mind with no real physical existence
*the desire to attract a male or be attracted to a male, desiring a relationship with a male, desiring having good sex with a male- is not real as this is imagined within my mind
*the desire for sex to have a positive energy experience is fueled by a negative which is 
fear of loss/fear of not surviving as a female personality  

Realizing
that the mind values i had given were not real
that the equation was not real
I made them up in my mind
I imagined them  in my mind

Realizing the pattern is:
>Fear of  loss/not surviving as a female personality 
>> Desiring attraction to a male 
>>>Desiring relationship with a male 
>>>> Desiring good sex with a male

Realizing that i have to stop participating in this pattern 
So i can stop the program to stop the system
and within that birth me here as
who i really am
expressing myself as a female equal to the male expression - as All Life 

Realizing it is to forgive myself
and correct myself in
my living participation
and stopping
mind participation

Realizing i have to
release myself from giving positive and negative values
to words
redefining words and living those redefined meanings
using words as equal to my expression

Realizing that
the value of a female/woman = Life
the value of a male/man = Life
the value of all = Life


  Realizing that all consist of atoms consisting of the same substance all consist of

Decoding Female Programming: Day 262: Blame

From Relationship To Agreement

My Process
Re: Me In An Agreement 

 Relationship Mathematics

Store

Topic:

Female Personality
Relationships and Sexual Programming:
Blame

>Fear of Loss/not surviving as a female personality
>>no attraction to a male
>>>no  relationship with a male
>>>>no good sex with a male 
>>>>>blame the physical/substance for making me incomplete 
>>>>>>Belief: it is the physical who created life the way it is

For Part 1, Part 2 and Part 3, follow this link 
 Relationship Mathematics

Realization:
When feeling bad/feeling incomplete/alone
not having attraction with a male
not having a relationship with a male
not having good sex with a male
it is easier to blame someone - usually, the physical/substance, than to take self-responsibility 
instead of acknowledging that i am the 
creator of 'my within' as the mind 
and 'my without' as this world system 
thus, the creator and the created
thus, self-responsible for the consequence  - as all life

My participation in Blame will be self-forgiven in this blog.

Why am i using Self-forgiveness?
http://juneroca.com/my-process/self-forgiveness/

I am using  self-forgiveness and writing a commitment - writing a correction script that will guide me in my living participation

 Why am I Using Mathematics?
I am using mathematical symbols at the end of this post to show that the MIND values i have given are NOT REAL, showing the real value of ALL is equal to  Life.

===

Self-forgiveness Statements:

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself 
to participate in the design of fear of survival - as sex

blame the physical
for making me an incomplete woman/female
when i am not attracted to a man
when i do not have a relationship with a man
when i do not have good sex with a man
when the male do not ask me for marriage
when i do not bear a child

believing that it is the physical/substance that created life the way it is

not seeing and realizing that
i am the creator and the created
and that
I created 'my within' as the mind
and 'my without' as this world system 
Thus, I am self-responsible for the consequential outflow 
of my participation in 'my within' 
as the mind 
and 'my without'
as this world system

instead of realizing
i can take self-responsibility
for the consequential outflow of this point
as all parts of me as life

 ===

Commitment to Correction Script

I commit myself to when and as i see myself
blaming the physical
for being an 'incomplete woman'

I stop
I breathe

I realize that it is me that defined myself into creation as a female personality
so instead of  blaming the physical
I rather take self-responsibility 
I rewrite my book within myself
rescripting the movie within my mind
to instead of blaming
take self-responsibility
for the consequential outflow of this point


I forgive myself
I correct myself in my living application

to assist myself to see that it is me who defined
the complete woman/female
and gave it a meaning more than life
and the incomplete woman/female
and gave it a meaning less than life

So,it is me who is taking self-responsibility
to release the charge i gave these words
redefine these words
and live the redefined meaning of these words

forgive myself for not wanting to take self=responsibility
and move myself to change
and take self-responsibility

as who i am, how i am and what i am

I assist myself to accept and allow me to change
I assist myself to accept and allow me to stand as who i really am equal to all - as Life

realizing I am here as breath in every moment
moving me, expressing me
assisting me 
to take me by the hand
birth myself as life

===
The Mathematics of Giving Positive and Negative Values
Vs
Giving Value Equal to Life

I realized that this is my mind equation regarding this point: 

'Blame Equation:

Blaming = easy =+ 10
Blaming = no need to look at problem and provide a solution = +10
Blaming = positive energy experience = +10

Self-responsibility Equation:
Self-responsibility =  difficult = -100
Self-responsibility = long =-100
Self-responsibility = looking at what needs to be done= -100
Self-responsibility = uncomfortability = -100
Self-responsibility = negative energy experience= -100'

where me as the mind 
sees blaming as easier to do 
 and taking self-responsibility as difficult to do
not seeing and realizing that it is a matter of moving myself to change
and living that change  

= 
'Complete Woman Equation:

Complete woman = attraction to  a male = +100
Complete woman = relationship with a male = +100
Complete woman = good sex with a male = +100

Incomplete Woman Equation: Incomplete woman =no  attraction to a male  =-100
Incomplete woman = no relationship with a male = -100
Incomplete woman = no good sex with a male = -100'

Realizing that 
the mind values i gave are not real
the  mind equation i formulated are not real

Realizing that
Fear fuels my desires 
the positive comes from a negative


Realizing that 
the value of the body/physical of a woman = life

Realizing that taking Self-responsibility for/as Life,  is what is best for all

and that the value of All = Life
 
 

Decoding Female Sexual Programming: Fear Day 260:

From Relationship To Agreement

My Process
Re: Me In An Agreement 

 Relationship Mathematics

Store

Topic:

Me As The  Female Personality
Relationships and Sexual Programming:

>attraction to a male
> >desiring a relationship with a male
>> > desiring having good sex with a male 

For Part 1, Part 2 and Part 3, follow this link
  Relationship Mathematics


Realization:
My desire for relationships and sex 
is fueled by fear of loss/fear of not surviving as a female/woman

My participating in the design of FEAR will be self-forgiven in this blog.

Why am i using Self-forgiveness?
http://juneroca.com/my-process/self-forgiveness/

I am using  self-forgiveness and writing a commitment - a self-correction script to correct myself  in my living participation

 Why am I Using Mathematics?
I am using mathematical symbols at the end of this post to show that the MIND values i have given are NOT REAL, showing the real value of ALL is equal to Life.

===

Self-forgiveness Statements:

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself
to participate in the design of fear of survival - as sex

fear losing my female personality/woman personality
fear not surviving as a female personality
believing the following:
if i will not be attracted to a male/man or the male/man will not be attracted to me
if i will not have a relationship with a male/man
if i will not have good sex with a male/man
I will not feel like a complete female/woman

so,
desiring to be attracted to males
desiring males being attracted to me
desiring a relationship with a male
desiring having sex with a male who can please me

believing that if i do not get attracted to a male
believing that if i do not have a relationship with a male
believing that if i do not have sex with a male
I will be an incomplete woman

not seeing and realizing that i am here as breath in every moment
as presence, as movement, as sensation

===
Commitment: Self- Correction: Script 

I commit myself to when and as i see myself
fearing losing my feminine personality
fearing not surviving as the female personality

I stop
I breathe

I realized that this me as the mind
defining myself as a female 
separating from the male
as the 'polarity opposite of a male'
and living the female personality
which is animating an illusion
that i am half complete without a male

not seeing and realizing that
i am here
as breath in every moment
as who i am, what i am and how i am

I change my starting point
from
wanting a relationship with a man 
to
expressing myself as a female 
equal to the male expression

stop participating in the mind 
within desire for attraction, desire for relationship and desire for sex
as in
 >attraction to a male
> >desiring a relationship with a male
>> >ecstasy having sex with a male who can do what i want him to do

to instead
face ones fear of loss
ones fear of not surviving
as the female personality
forgive oneself
and correct oneself in ones living participation
to through writing, self-forgiveness and self-correction
assist myself to birth me here as who i really am
expressing as a female equal to the male expression  

stopping the mind
stop being directed by my fears
stabilizing me here as breath when i fear losing and wanting to win

to birth myself
within/as self-intimacy
having an agreement with another as an equal
having physical interaction with another as self
birthing me as the physical

look at the problem
provide a solution and see the reward
in transcending me as the mind
in transcending fear- which i created based on my beliefs which i refused to face
in transcending desire - which is fueled by my fear based on my  beliefs

look at the problem
provide a solution
and see the reward
in moving from
a relationship with another separate from oneself
to
an agreement with another as self

establishing an equal and one relationship with the body/physical
and birthing me here
as equal to all

===

The Mathematics of Giving Positive and Negative Values
Vs
Giving Values Equal To Life

I realized that i have 
made an equation within my mind
that looks like this:

attraction to  a male = +100
relationship with a male = +100
good sex with a male = +100

no attraction to a male = -100
males not attracted to me =-100
no relationship with a male = -100
not having good sex with a male = -100
not being married to a male= -100
not having a child with a male = -100 

complete woman = attraction to a male + having a relationship with a male + having good sex with a male

incomplete woman =no  attraction to a male  + no relationship with a male + no good sex with a male = -100'

Realizing:
the woman's body as the physical is real  
the desire to attract a male or be attracted to a male is not real
the desire for good sex is fueled by a negative which is 
fear of loss/fear of not surviving as a female personality  

Realizing
that the mind values i had given were not real
that the equation was not real
as i made them up
as i imagined them 
within/as my mind

Realizing it is to forgive myself
and correct myself in
my living participation
and stopping
mind participation

Realizing i have to
release myself from giving positive and negative values
to words
through redefining words and living those definitions
Realizing that
the value of a female/woman = Life
the value of a male/man = Life
the value of all = Life

as all consist of atoms consisting of the same substance all consist of