Decoding Female Programming: Day 263: Excuse

From Relationship To Agreement

My Process
Re: Me In An Agreement 

 Relationship Mathematics

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Topic:

Me as The Female Personality
Relationships and Sexual Programming:


>Fear of loss/not surviving as a female personality
>>Desire to be attracted to a male ormales be attracted to me
>>>Desire to have a relationship with a male
>>>>Desire to have sex with a male
>>>>>Satisfaction, i am complete as a female
>>>>>>Excuse: I have to survive as a female

Note: The fear of losing the female personality comes up when one does not have a relationship (or when one is dissatisfied with a partner etc.) which fuels the desire to be attracted to a male or desire for males to be attracted to me.
One then extends this desire by desiring a relationship with a male and then desiring to have sex with a male.
One gets a positive experience from this.
The question is : Is this who i really  am?
That, i did not ask myself. I forgot that the positive came from a negative - a fear.
I did not investigate where that fear originated.
I did not see the pattern (part of my female programming)
I  accepted and allowed it.
Then, i gave an excuse why it is okay for me to participate in this mind pattern.
I lived like a female  being directed by the mind, rather than a self-directive human female expressing
oneself here

The starting point of this is self-interest and not what is best for all life.

In this blog, i am writing self-forgiveness for having this excuse as part of my process of self-perfection

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Why am i using Self-forgiveness?
http://juneroca.com/my-process/self-forgiveness/

I am using  self-forgiveness and writing a correction script to follow and correct myself  in my living participation

 Why am I Using Mathematics?
I am using mathematical symbols at the end of this post to show that the MIND values i have given are NOT REAL, showing the real value of ALL is/as Life.

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Self-forgiveness Statement:

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself
to participate in the design of fear of survival - as sex

have the excuse that
i have to survive as a female
desiring attraction to a male
desiring males to be attracted to me
desiring relationship with a male
desiring having good sex with a male

believing that I will lose my female identity/personality
If i do not desire attraction  to a male/males being attracted to me
If i do not desire relationship with a male
If i do not desire having good sex with a male
If i do not desire getting married with a male
If i do not have a baby with the male i am married to

believing I will not survive as a female

not seeing and realizing that  
I am here as breath in every moment
as presence, as movement, as sensation
and that i can express myself  as a female equal to the male expression

Realizing
that i do not really need to have an excuse
that i can take self-responsibility

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Commitment: 
Self-Correction Script:

I commit myself to when and as I see myself having the excuse
that I will lose my female personality/not survive as a female
I stop
I breathe

I realize that

I defined myself into creation

I defined myself within birth and death as the beginning and the end
I defined myself as a female separate from a male
defining myself within a polarity equation
so forgive myself for my acceptances and allowances
and correct myself breath by breath
moment by moment


Realizing that
the fear of losing the female identity/personality
is fueling
the desire for having a female identity/personality

I assist myself to
face that fear
walk back and look at the problem, provide a solution
redefine words 
see that there is a reward in transcending my fear
birthing me here as who i really am
not directed by the mind
self-directive
 
I assist myself to see that there is nothing to lose
as there was nothing real gained
for having a female personality
I imagined it in my mind

I assist myself to 
write a self-correction script
and live that
taking myself by the hand
assist myself to 'walk out of the mind'
moment by moment
breath by breath


Realize that I am here as breathe in every moment
I am that beingness/ awareness
that is merged with the body and the mind

so I forgive myself for mind participation
correct myself in my living participation
and release my beingness

to through writing, self-forgiveness and self - corrective applicatrion
birth me here as life

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The Mathematics of Giving Positive and Negative Values
Vs
Giving Values Equal To Life

I realized i had given mind values and formed mind equations

'as in

female + male =complete/whole = +100
female - male = incomplete/ half complete = -100

complete female = attraction with a male+ relationship with a male +good  sex with a male = security = eternal happiness =eternal survival as a female personality = +1000

where
eternal happiness = eternal survival as a female personality= +1000'

I realized that 
I had given words such as ''male', 'female', complete', 'incomplete', 'half,' 'whole' etc. 
mind values that are not real
I made up a mind equation within my mind that is not real
it has no real physical existence

Realizing that i can rewrite the book i have written within myself
I can rescript the movie within my mind
from the starting point of self-interest
to  a starting point of what is best for all life

to through writing, self-forgiveness and self correction birth me here as life

Realizing that
the value of a female body = Life
the value of a male body = Life
the value of all that is here = Life

Realizing that
The body of the female
and the body of the male
consist of cells which consist of atoms
consisting substance
that ALL consist of

All = Life