Sex: The Dimensions of My Mind: Thought: Health and Sickness: DRD

 From Relationship to Agreement

Female Programming and Relationship Mathematics

My Food Blog

In this blog i am looking at the Thought Dimension. 

I am including a brief outline of the mind dimensions i will be working on

at the first part of this blog for reference purposes.

Topic: Sex

Health and Sickness

The Dimensions of My Mind

The Conscious Mind:

Thought: me being touched by the man who i am in a relationship with,  in the nipple

Imagination: the nipple hardening and my jade gate secreting fluid with the hard jade stalk inside my jade gate going in and out in a slow but firm motion alternating with deep thrusts and shallow thrusts that drives me to a point of orgasm

The Subconscious Mind: 

Backchat: (I decided to keep this in my private blog)

Reaction: me satisfied and happy feeling ecstatic- like a complete woman

The Unconscious Mind:

Body Movement: my head turning right and left, screaming intermittently, gasping for my breath

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I am doing self-forgiveness and writing a commitment to correction script in this blog

specifically on the THOUGHT Dimension.

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Self-forgiveness Statements

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate

in the design of fear of survival - as positive energy

have the thought,

' me being touched by a male who I am in a relationship with in the nipple'

believing that this is me

as who I am as self

thinking these thoughts

not seeing and realizing it is me as the mind

as the alternate version of me

thinking these thoughts
within/as the mind

where within this
i am not aware of 
the origin of these thoughts
realizing that i am not even aware 
of how i created the mind 
of the origin of these thoughts

not seeing and realizing that

the body

is  being resourced

for energy

for the mind to exist

through thinking these thoughts

desiring for him to have sex with me

believing that after he touch my nipple

I can get the sensations 

in my 'jade gate'

and then while he kiss me 

I can get my 'jade gate' wet

then he can thrust his jade stalk

inside my 'jade gate'

so I can be in bliss

like a crescendo

that takes me to

the highest peak

of orgasm

desiring to stay

there forever

so I can prolong the bliss

the positive energy experience

believing In doing so

I can enjoy life

enjoy it forever
making me live the female/woman personality
to the fullest

where within this
i am not aware that 

the body  is resourced

where natural energy

from nutrients

are converted

to unnatural energy

for the mind to use

for me to have a positive energy experience

for the mind to exist

for me as the 'eternally blissful' personality exist

not realizing that in thinking

this thought

and having this picture in my mind

I am using energy

and that energy has to come from somewhere

and that somewhere cannot be anywhere outside of my body

It is being resourced from the body - the power house!

I forgive myself that

I have accepted and allowed myself

to think only of getting a positive energy experience

not caring about my physical body

within self-interest

not realizing that

while i was trying to be physically 'healthy'

by being vegetarian, eating raw food

to be 'healthy'

i am trying to take the nutrients 

that i am giving my body

away from the body

making it sick 

then blame the bacteria and virus

for something that i am 

responsible for/as

not seeing and realizing 

that i am being self-dishonest

in that i am trying to evolve 

myself to be more than who i am

originally fearing illness and sickness

then desiring to be healthy

not seeing that within 

fearing sickness

and desiring health

i am taking substance from the body

so it is the fearing and the desiring that has to stop

instead of realizing that

the desire comes from fear

and that the positive comes from a negative

not seeing  that

as I look and feel blissful externally

internally the body is weakening

and as I feel lighter and more positive

and blissful on the outside

the body is weakening more

and as I desire and participate in the mind

thinking thoughts

i am accepting and allowing the body to get sick

i am accepting and allowing the body to be malnourished

not realizing that as I desire to eat 
sentient food, cooked vegetarian, cooked vegan
raw vegan, liquid food, air food (breatharianism)

believing it was making me look young

i did not realize
my body is aging within 
as natural energy from food
gets transformed to unnatural energy
it's just a matter of time
before it manifest externally as a disease

realizing that slowly but surely

as I participate in sexual thoughts

blissful thoughts, happy thoughts

happy and blissful behaviors

that is driven by the mind
i am resourcing the body for energy

so, stopping mind participation is the key

realizing 

that i can have physical interaction 

with another as an equal

in an agreement without 

needing to fear losing my female identity/personality

if i do not have a relationship with a man

realizing that attraction, desire for relationships and 

desire to have good sex 

and desire for a positive energy experience

comes from the fear of losing my female /woman personality

so it is to forgive my fears

and correct myself in my living participation

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Commitment to Correct Myself 

Script

I commit myself to when and as I see myself

thinking the thought

' me being touched by a male who I am in a relationship with in the nipple'

I stop

I breathe

I realized that this is me as the mind

fearing a negative enrgy experience

believing that if I do not think thoughts

desiring sex with a man

I will not be human

or will not be a woman

as humans 

and women 

think sexual thoughts, happy thoughts

and then physically manipulate the body to behave

directed by these thoughts

I assist myself to

investigate what is really going on here 

and see that my beingness 

is merged with the body and the mind

and that i have to stop participating in the mind

to release my beingness from the mind

to through self-forgiveness and 

acting out the corrected script

in the physical 

as my self- corrective application

birth me here as life

I assist myself to redefine words 

and live the redefined meaning of words

I commit myself to when and as i see myself
thinking only of myself within self-interest
wanting a positive energy experience in sex
I stop
I breathe
I realized that this is me as the mind
separating from all that is here as a female separate from a male
as a woman separate from a man
where i defined the vagina within the penis
and defined the penis within the vagina

I assist myself to come from a starting point of 
what is best for all
and birth me here
as equal to all that exist

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The Mathematics of Giving Positive and Negative Values 

VS Giving Values Equal to Life 

I realized that i have given mind values to words

'as in

in a relationship with a man = man touching my nipple = sex =  penetration of 'jade stalk' to the' jade gate' = positive energy experience 

= bliss = +100

no relationship with a man = no man touching my nipple = no sex = no penetration of 'jade stalk' to the 'jade gate' = negative energy experience

= sadness = -100

where

in a relationship with a man = +100

not having a relationship with a man = -100

having sex with a man = +100

no sex with a man = +50

penis = +100

vagina = +50

man = Life

woman = Life'

not realizing that the values i have given the words 

were not real 

not realizing that the mind equation is not real

as i made them up in my mind

which has no real physical existence

instead of realizing

the value of all is equal to Life

man = Life

woman = Life

penis = life

vagina = Life

All = Life

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2012 The Body: Chidhood: 'Who Am I?' I Am The ' Cover Nipples With Bra' Character Day 101

This Blog is The Continuation of These Blogs:
Judging The Breast Character
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The 'Nipple' Character
The 'Madonna Nipple' Character
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Stepping Out of the 'Cover The Nipples' Character

When I was in my teens my Dad told me that I have to go to my room and put on a bra - when he spotted me at home not wearing one. I obeyed what he said - without questioning it or looking at it from the starting point of - who I really am - as equal to the body- as the breast- as the nipples. I call this the 'cover the nipples with bra' character. I am stopping this character using self- forgiveness and commit myself to correcting myself in every moment of breath - to birth me here as life- standing for what is best for all.

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 Self-forgiveness:


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realise and understand that my dad is capable of seeing that my exposed nipples can activate sexual pictures in his mind - existing within a point of covering up my dad's mind participation  in sex just because he is my dad

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to  believe that sex is dirty and my dad is good - so cannot possibly think of sex - not realizing and understanding that he is a character just like me

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my dad is a saint - because i saw him as more than me - defining myself within the idea that my dad is special

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realise and understand that i am activating sexual thoughts in the mind of men when showing nipples.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within what my father likes me to do - perceiving myself separate from the body - as the breast - as the nipples - where I did not see that i am judging my expression -as the breast as the nipple - unaware of the consequence of what I accept and allow.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the breast and the nipples have to be covered inside or outside the house.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge the breast and the nipples as less than myself and me more than myself - believing that it is bad to wear a shirt or dress with no bra on. Through this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that it is good to wear a t-shirt and a dress with bra on because my dad wanted me to do that  - where I defined myself within what my dad wants me to do or not want me to do. Within this, i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within what my dad wants and does not want me to do- defining myself within obedience and no obedience - supporting the family living as characters within/as my mind  . Within this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within obedience and no obedience - desiring the positive energetic experience from living as the alternate version of me - being liked by my dad - being the favorite daughter - and fearing losing that - not realizing i am here equal to all that exist. i cannot lose me because i am here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within the 'cover the nipples with bra' character.- defining myself within  energy - consuming the very substance that I am equal to/as-as the physical, transforming it to energy so I, as the mind can use it in an alternate reality where I exist as an alternate version of who I am- spiting the physical/ body and justifying my existence as energy by being enslaved by family rules and social norms as agreements of characters within it - which I uphold to validate the character I have chosen to be and become - not realizing that I am here as breath - as flesh - as the substance - as the real character - equal to all that exist. Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I have to conform with the culture in my country about how I should and should not present myself - as the body- not realizing I am suppressing my expression as who I am as self..


I forgive myself to desire positive energy experience from obeying my dad coming from a negative energy experience of not obeying my dad - not wanting to experience the pain of being whipped with my dad's belt and negative words said inside and outside the house to friends and family  -where I saw how my sister and my brother displeased him and how they were punished - him judging what they do as wrong - withdrawing his affection to them - and me fearing the loss of affection as i desire the positive energy experience that i get from being obedient..- which i believed made me whole - not realizing i am here as breath in every moment not defined by energetic experiences.

I commit myself to when and as I see myself defining myself within what my dad wants and not want - I stop - i breathe. I change my starting point - to instead of going inside my mind and define me within positive and negative experiences - I bring myself back here as who I am - as equal to the body/physical and look at how I can express myself as who I am equal to the breast, nipple and bra .

I commit myself to delete the ' cover the nipple with bra' character as the memories, pictures, experiences, as desires within and as myself - and let go of the separation -as energy and the physical- as desires, beliefs etc. within and as myself and stand with the physical in every breath that i take

I commit myself to when and as i see myself defining myself within culture - i stop - i breathe and assist myself to express me as who i am as culture - redefine it and live it as an expression of who i am.

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Self- commitment 


I commit myself to expose myself and whoever it is that is that is participating in the mind

I commit myself to  see/realise and understand that my dad is not a saint


I commit myself to see/ realise and understand that when i do not wear a bra it can invite people to have pictures inside their mind - so for me to wear a bra nt because i want to please my dad or anyone bu it is commonsensical in a society that is powered by advertisements and commercials that suggest or connect nipples with sex

I commit myself to when and as I see myself judging the body as the breast as the nipples - as more than or less than me - I stop and breathe. I change my starting point to instead of judging - stand as equal to/as the body and express myself as that.

I commit myself to when and as I see myself defining myself as the 'cover the nipples with bra' character - I stop - I breathe and change my starting point - to instead of defining my self within a character - that is an alternate version if me - I bring myself back to the physical and touch the floor or the earth - and see me as who I really am - the real character that exist in this physical existence - not defined within a polarity- but is here breathing, doing and using commonsense - standing for what is best for all.

I commit myself to delete this character and all characters related to this one - which I created in my mind - as memories, as pictures, as desires etc. - within/ as myself and let go of the separation as desires etc. Within and as myself and stand with the physical in every breath that I take. I commit myself to when and as I see myself desiring positive energy by obeying my dad - I stop - I breathe - and just express myself as who i am  as the body standing for what is best for all life.

Backchat Or Back talk:

'Why is he asking me to wear a bra? Whys is it bad to not wear a bra? I guess i should always cover the breast and nipples with bra when inside the house and outside - that is what is proper and that's what i will do so they will always be nice to me.'

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to use backchat as a method to know something - where i question why my dad is asking me to wear a bra in the house - rather than ask him why is this so- which is commonsensical to do - i became fearful of challenging that authority figure - as the 'i am shy to ask ' character that i believed is who i am - and instead of bringing me back to reality  and ask him - i decided to go within my mind and figure it out there in an alternate reality that has no real physical existence - desiring the positive energy that comes with figuring out the whys of life - coming from the negative polarity experience of the 'i don't know' character - justifying my existence as the alternate version of me as the 'cover the nipple with bra' character- believing that when i find out inside my mind - and know - i will be whole - not realizing i am here as breath in every moment equal to all that exist.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to use backchat as a method to define myself within the 'knowing is power' character - where i start with the negative experience of me as the 'i don't know why' character cycling through the positive polarity of me as 'knowing is power' character - fearing losing the 'knowing is power' character - justifying ones existence as this character - because  of the belief that i am not whole when i do not know and i am whole when i know - through this, i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that i am not whole when i do not know the reason why something was said by my dad and i am whole when i know  the reason why something was said by my dad - defining myself within knowing and not knowing - within this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within knowing and not knowing - judging knowledge and information more than me and me less than myself - not realizing that information consist of words that are equal to who i am - as all life.

I commit myself to when and as i see myself using backchat as a method to know what my dad meant when he said to go inside my room and put on my bra - i stop - i breathe and bring me back to the physical and look at the commonsense of asking him rather than figuring out the answer within/as my mind.

I commit myself to when and as i see myself defining myself within the 'knowing is power' character - i stop - i breathe and  realize that the reason why i do this is because i define myself within/as the negative, neutral and positive energetic experiences that gives me a sense of existing as if i am alive - defining myself within movement friction and balance - as the alternate version of who i am - not realizing i am here as the substance/physical as a real character not defined by positive, neutral and negative energetic experiences.

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Body Movement:

Feet  stopping, eyes looking up above to listen, then looking up to the left and then looking up to the right

I forgive myself  that i have accepted and allowed myself 'as the eyes' looking up above manipulate myself to listen to what he was saying within/as my mind

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself  'as the eyes' looking up to the right manipulate myself to define myself within right and wrong as i go within/as my mind to figure it out why it is right to cover my breast and nipples with a bra when wearing a shit, a t-shirt or a dress

I forgive myself  that i have accepted and allowed myself 'as the eyes' looking up to the left manipulate myself to go inside my mind to figure out what's wrong with having a t-shirt  without a bra on

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself 'as the feet' manipulate me to stop and listen to what my dad was saying as the mind.

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Self-commitment

I commit myself to when and as i see myself 'as the feet' manipulating me to stop to listen within my mind - i stop - i breathe and assist myself to  listen to my dad as here.

I commit myself looking up to when and as i see myself 'as the eyes' manipulating myself to listen to what he was saying inside my mind  - i stop - i breathe and assist myself to be here as i listen.

I commit myself  to when and as i see myself 'as the eyes' looking up to the left manipulating myself to figure out what's wrong with wearing a t-shirt, a shirt or a dress without a bra on - within/as my mind - i stop - i breathe and assist myself to be here by stomping my feet to the ground to indicate the reality of who i am as here. -as the physical - equal to all that exist

I commit myself to when and as i see myself ' as the eyes' looking up to the right manipulating myself to   figure out why it is right and proper to cover the breast and the nipples -within/as my mind - i stop - i breathe and assist myself to realize i am here - by stomping my feet to the ground - to ground me and remind me of who i am here - equal to all that exist

2012: The Body 'Who Am I?' I Am The 'Madonna Nipple' Character We Chose To Become Day 98

Related Blogs:

The 'Who Am I?' Character

Redefining The 'I'  

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Self-forgiveness

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This Blog Is The Continuation of these Blogs:

The 'Judging The Breast' Character

  The 'Nipple' Character

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Stepping Out Of The Collective Characters I Chose To Become:

In the previous blog, i took self-responsibility for me as the 'nipple as pleasure' character.  In this blog, i am taking responsibility for the collective characters i support by living through the 'nipple as pleasure' character - as i walk my process of self-perfection.

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Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself  'as Madonna' that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as the 'Madonna nipple' character - earn money capitalizing on our collective desires to accumulate positive energy experiences - desiring  pleasure and satisfying that - from sucking nipples and looking at nipples because we had been so suppressed by religion and our idea of 'morality' that we made nipples a commodity - a part of the body - which is made from the same substance all are made of - same substance as the dust of the earth - is being idolized and specialized - in an alternate reality - that is the mind - separate from the flesh/physical - as the alternate version of who we are - believing it is us - not realizing we are the flesh/physical - made from the same substance the earth is made of - as all are made of - equal and one - doubting who we are - asking, 'there must be more than me, as here?' - uncertain of who we are - having fear of losing that accumulated positive energy experiences in the alternate reality that is the mind - we spite the flesh - as who we really are - within blame - with the excuse that we have to survive in this world and earn money by making a commodity out of the flesh/physical as the flashing of the nipple in my show - so I 'as 'Madonna' as the character - as all characters in this world can survive - as I 'as Madonna' entertain  me as all of me - as we all justify our existence as the alternate version of ourselves - in the alternate reality that is the mind - not seeing/realizing and understanding that i am here as the flesh/physical made from the same substance all are made of - equal to all that exist - able to stop my desires using self-forgiveness - through this, i forgive myself  'as the audience'  that i have accepted and allowed myself to desire watching Madonna flashing her nipples as i accumulate 'positive energy experiences' from watching her - and correcting i 'as ourselves' moment by moment, breath by breath - where we live as who we are as the flesh/ as the physical - and assist in establishing a world where money will be given to all equally - so we will not have to earn money to survive - so we will not have to act out a 'Madonna nipple' character - that flashes the nipple to make money - making a commodity out of the flesh/physical - as we 'as the audience' will - instead of watching nipples - be looking at who we really are - as the self - equal to all that exist - and realise that we are made from the same substance - the nipple is made of - so instead of watching Madonna flash her nipple, we will express ourselves in an agreement with someone - and explore our body as equals - in a world based on equality - bringing heaven into as earth

I forgive myself  'as the media' that i have accepted and allowed myself to make money out of the 'Madonna nipple' character as i 'as the media' become the 'i am making money out of collective desire for nipples' character - justifying my existence 'as the media's existence' by making money out of people's desires for nipples and other parts of the body that people normally hide because of 'religious' or 'moral' reasons - spiting the flesh/physical - the very substance we all are made of - through hiding or flashing different parts of the body for money - to instead assist in establishing a world based on equality - where all will have all the basic necessities we need to survive - so we will not have to make money out of flashing nipples and other body parts just so we can survive in an unequal monetary system that we now exist in.

  Self-commitment

I commit myself to expose the collective characters we have become- desiring to make money out of flashing nipples 

I commit myself to expose the collective characters we have become - desiring to look at nipples and pay money to watch it.

I commit myself to - through writing, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application - assist myself to stop the 'nipple as pleasure'character that create the collective characters that make this world the way it is.

2012:The Body: 'Who Am I? 1' I Am The 'The Nipple' Character I Chose To Become Day 97

Related Blogs:

The 'Who Am I?' Character

Redefining The 'I'  

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Self-forgiveness

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Continuation of this Blog:

The 'Judging The Breast' Character

The 'Madonna Nipple' Character
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Jack: Origin of The Body
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Stepping Out of Character

In these series of blogs, i am doing self-forgiveness and self-corrective application for separating with the body. In the next ones to follow - i will be stepping out of the different 'the body' characters, and in this blog i will be stepping out of the 'nipple as pleasure' character. This character is me perceiving myself separate from all - a character which is an alternate version of who i am - which i created in my mind - an illusion i have lived for a long time. I am birthing me here as the real character  - as the flesh - as the body- as the breath - as the substance that i am made of - as the substance that all are made of - equal and one.

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 I am equal to the nipple as it is made from the same substance i am made of - as all are made of.

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Self-forgiveness: 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as the ' nipple as pleasure' character - through this, i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge nipples as more than myself and other parts of the body that doesn't give me pleasure as less than myself - through this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to desire the 'moreness' of me by accumulating positve energy experiences through my nipples being touched - through this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to desire relationships so someone can touch my nipples - accumulating  positive energy experiences as happiness - through this, i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have aversion for not having a relationship as no one will touch me and my nipples - through this, i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear not having relationships - through this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that no one will touch my nipples when i am not in a relationship - accumulating negative energy experiences as sadness - through this, i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that accumulating positive energy experiences is right and not accumulating positive energy experiences is wrong - defining myself within happiness and sadness - defining myself within right and wrong - as i exist as the alternate version of me within my mind - which is an alternate reality i created - where i always win - as in that alternate reality i have both positive and negative energy experiences stored so i can use it when i need it - to give life to me as the alternate version of who i am as the 'nipple is pleasure' character - an illusion i have lived in/as the physical - abusing the physical by transforming it to energy - so i can feel good within an alternate reality - in/as my mind- fearing the loss of who i am as the character - defined within positive and negative experiences - as feeling good and looking good - feeling bad and looking bad.

Self-correction:

I commit myself to when and as i see myself defining myself within the 'nipple is pleasure' character - i stop - i breathe. I change my starting point to instead of seeing me as the alternate version of me - bring me back to who i am as breath here as the physical/body - where instead of defining me within an illusionary character - which is an alternate version of who i am - i birth me here as the real character in the flesh as the physical as the breath - moment by moment.

I commit myself to when and as i see myself judging the nipples as more than myself because they give me pleasure and other parts of my body that does not give me pleasure is less than myself  - i stop - i breathe and change my starting point to instead see me as the alternate version of me - bring me back to/as the real me - as who i am as breath here as the flesh/physical/body - where instead of separating myself from the nipple and judging it - i see it as an expression/manifestation equal to all that exist.

I commit myself to when and as i see myself desiring the 'moreness' of me through the accumulation of positive energy experience when my nipples are being touched - i stop - i breathe. I change my starting point to instead of seeing me as the alternate version of me - bring me back to/as the real me - as who i am, equal to the breath here, equal to the flesh/physical/body - and equalize me within touch - where i am not separate from touch but i am here as touch - expressing me as it.

I commit myself to when and as i see myself desiring to be in a relationship for someone to touch my nipple so i can have pleasure - i stop - i breathe and change my starting point to instead of seeing me as the alternate version of me - i bring me back to/as the physical/body - where i see the person i am in an agreement with as equal to me - as who i am - as he is made from the same substance i am made of -as all are made of  - and see that pleasure as a feeling  is not real - as i created it in my mind - which works with polarity - and thrives within movement, friction and balance. Who i am as self is not defined by energy, friction, movement and balance.

I commit myself to when and as i see myself having aversion for not having a relationship because no one will touch my nipple -i stop - i breathe and change my starting point to instead of seeing me as an alternate version of me - perceiving oneself as separate from touch, as separate from the nipple - bring me back to/as  who i am as the breath here as the flesh/physical/body - made from the same substance the nipple is made of - equalizing myself to/as touch - as an expression of who i am.

I commit myself to when and as i see myself fearing not having a relationship because i fear losing the positive energy experiences i have when i am in a relationship- i stop - i breath and change my starting point to instead of seeing me as the alternate version of me - believing one has split oneself into 2 - as the one that has positive energy experiences and the one having negative energy experiences - defined within positive and negative experiences - bring me back to/as who i am  as the breath here as the flesh/physical/body - equalizing my relationship with and as the cells in/as the body.

I commit myself to delete the 'nipple as pleasure' character as memories- as experiences - as  pictures - desires, beliefs, judgments, fear, etc. within and as myself as let go of the separation as energy and the physical - within and as myself - standing with the physical in every breath that i take.

I commit myself to - through writing, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application - assist me to stop this character.