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Thursday, April 4, 2013

Sex: The Dimensions of My Mind: Thought: Health and Sickness: DRD

In this blog i am looking at the Thought Dimension. 
I am including a brief outline of the mind dimensions i will be working on
at the first part of this blog for reference purposes.

Topic: Sex
Health and Sickness

The Dimensions of My Mind

The Conscious Mind:

Thought: me being touched by the man who i am in a relationship with,  in the nipple

Imagination: the nipple hardening and my jade gate secreting fluid with the hard jade stalk inside my jade gate going in and out in a slow but firm motion alternating with deep thrusts and shallow thrusts that drives me to a point of orgasm

The Subconscious Mind: 

Backchat: (I decided to keep this in my private blog)

Reaction: me satisfied and happy feeling ecstatic- like a complete woman

The Unconscious Mind:

Body Movement: my head turning right and left, screaming intermittently, gasping for my breath

I am doing self-forgiveness and writing a commitment to correction script in this blog
specifically on the THOUGHT Dimension.

Self-forgiveness Statements

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate
in the design of fear of survival - as positive energy

have the thought,
' me being touched by a male who I am in a relationship with in the nipple'

believing that this is me
as who I am as self
thinking these thoughts
not seeing and realizing it is me as the mind
as the alternate version of me
thinking these thoughts
within/as the mind

where within this
i am not aware of 
the origin of these thoughts
realizing that i am not even aware 
of how i created the mind 
of the origin of these thoughts

not seeing and realizing that
the body
is  being resourced
for energy
for the mind to exist
through thinking these thoughts

desiring for him to have sex with me
believing that after he touch my nipple
I can get the sensations 
in my 'jade gate'
and then while he kiss me 
I can get my 'jade gate' wet
then he can thrust his jade stalk
inside my 'jade gate'
so I can be in bliss

like a crescendo
that takes me to
the highest peak
of orgasm
desiring to stay
there forever
so I can prolong the bliss
the positive energy experience
believing In doing so
I can enjoy life
enjoy it forever
making me live the female/woman personality
to the fullest

where within this
i am not aware that 
the body  is resourced
where natural energy
from nutrients
are converted
to unnatural energy
for the mind to use
for me to have a positive energy experience
for the mind to exist
for me as the 'eternally blissful' personality exist

not realizing that in thinking
this thought
and having this picture in my mind
I am using energy
and that energy has to come from somewhere
and that somewhere cannot be anywhere outside of my body
It is being resourced from the body - the power house!

I forgive myself that
I have accepted and allowed myself
to think only of getting a positive energy experience
not caring about my physical body
within self-interest

not realizing that
while i was trying to be physically 'healthy'
by being vegetarian, eating raw food
to be 'healthy'
i am trying to take the nutrients 
that i am giving my body
away from the body
making it sick 
then blame the bacteria and virus
for something that i am 
responsible for/as

not seeing and realizing 
that i am being self-dishonest
in that i am trying to evolve 
myself to be more than who i am
originally fearing illness and sickness
then desiring to be healthy

not seeing that within 
fearing sickness
and desiring health
i am taking substance from the body

so it is the fearing and the desiring that has to stop

instead of realizing that
the desire comes from fear
and that the positive comes from a negative

not seeing  that
as I look and feel blissful externally
internally the body is weakening
and as I feel lighter and more positive
and blissful on the outside
the body is weakening more

and as I desire and participate in the mind
thinking thoughts
i am accepting and allowing the body to get sick
i am accepting and allowing the body to be malnourished

not realizing that as I desire to eat 
sentient food, cooked vegetarian, cooked vegan
raw vegan, liquid food, air food (breatharianism)
believing it was making me look young
i did not realize
my body is aging within 
as natural energy from food
gets transformed to unnatural energy
it's just a matter of time
before it manifest externally as a disease

realizing that slowly but surely
as I participate in sexual thoughts
blissful thoughts, happy thoughts
happy and blissful behaviors
that is driven by the mind
i am resourcing the body for energy
so, stopping mind participation is the key

that i can have physical interaction 
with another as an equal
in an agreement without 
needing to fear losing my female identity/personality
if i do not have a relationship with a man

realizing that attraction, desire for relationships and 
desire to have good sex 
and desire for a positive energy experience
comes from the fear of losing my female /woman personality

so it is to forgive my fears
and correct myself in my living participation


Commitment to Correct Myself 

I commit myself to when and as I see myself
thinking the thought
' me being touched by a male who I am in a relationship with in the nipple'

I stop
I breathe

I realized that this is me as the mind
fearing a negative enrgy experience
believing that if I do not think thoughts
desiring sex with a man
I will not be human
or will not be a woman
as humans 
and women 
think sexual thoughts, happy thoughts
and then physically manipulate the body to behave
directed by these thoughts

I assist myself to
investigate what is really going on here 
and see that my beingness 
is merged with the body and the mind
and that i have to stop participating in the mind
to release my beingness from the mind

to through self-forgiveness and 
acting out the corrected script
in the physical 
as my self- corrective application
birth me here as life

I assist myself to redefine words 
and live the redefined meaning of words

I commit myself to when and as i see myself
thinking only of myself within self-interest
wanting a positive energy experience in sex
I stop
I breathe
I realized that this is me as the mind
separating from all that is here as a female separate from a male
as a woman separate from a man
where i defined the vagina within the penis
and defined the penis within the vagina

I assist myself to come from a starting point of 
what is best for all
and birth me here
as equal to all that exist

The Mathematics of Giving Positive and Negative Values 
VS Giving Values Equal to Life 

I realized that i have given mind values to words
'as in

in a relationship with a man = man touching my nipple = sex =  penetration of 'jade stalk' to the' jade gate' = positive energy experience 
= bliss = +100

no relationship with a man = no man touching my nipple = no sex = no penetration of 'jade stalk' to the 'jade gate' = negative energy experience
= sadness = -100


in a relationship with a man = +100
not having a relationship with a man = -100

having sex with a man = +100
no sex with a man = +50

penis = +100
vagina = +50

man = Life
woman = Life'

not realizing that the values i have given the words 
were not real 
not realizing that the mind equation is not real
as i made them up in my mind
which has no real physical existence

instead of realizing
the value of all is equal to Life

man = Life
woman = Life

penis = life
vagina = Life

All = Life

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