Tao of Food Preparation Recipes

Tao of Food Preparation Recipes
'Living' E-book

Thursday, April 11, 2013

Sex: Dimensions of My Mind Day 271: Consequence: Postponement

In this blog i am looking at the Consequence Dimension 
I am including a brief outline of the mind dimensions i will be working on
at the first part of this blog for reference purposes.

I am writing self-forgiveness for mind participation  here
and commitment statements
to correct myself - writing a script that will guide me in living life practically

Topic: Sex

Dimensions of The Mind:

The Conscious Mind:
Thought: me being touched by the man who i am in a relationship with,  in the nipple

Imagination: the nipple hardening and my jade gate secreting fluid with the hard jade stalk inside my jade gate going in and out in a slow but firm motion alternating with deep thrusts and shallow thrusts that drives me to a point of orgasm

The Subconscious Mind: 

Backchat: (I decided to keep the details of this  private)

Reaction: me satisfied and happy feeling ecstatic- like a complete woman

The Unconscious Mind:

Body Movement/Behavior: my head turning right and left, screaming intermittently, gasping for my breath

Consequence: seeing that i am physically abused yet because of the positive energy experience within sex, stayed in the relationship further -  delaying me taking self-responsibility, compromising the body 

I am doing self-forgiveness and writing a commitment to correction script in this blog
specifically on the Consequence Dimension.

Self-forgiveness Statements:

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to 
participate in the design of 'fear of survival - as the physical/body - as sex - as positive energy'

fear that i will not have good sex  
if i leave DRD
so desires to stay with DRD 
for the positive energy experience that i get from sex
taking myself, my life and my relationship to responsibility
to an instance of taking it too far
where i reported the physical abuse to the 'authorities'
but did not live separate from him
believing he will change
and waited until he gives up on me
before i took self-responsibility
compromising the health of the fetus within my womb
compromising my body/physical 
within being physically abused by him 

take my desire for good sex to take precedent
over taking self-responsibility for myself, my life
the body.physical and the life of the baby
compromising the life of the fetus in my womb
compromising the condition of my physical body
compromising my neck and my head
that took the beating
of when he pulls my hair in jealousy
and as he push me to the sofa
or push my head against the wall

through this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to
doubt who i am the one having good sex 
or the one that doesn't 
believing that i will not be a complete woman without good sex

through this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to
blame the physical for creating men that can give me good sex 
and creating men that gives me bad sex
not seeing and realizing that i defined sex within good and bad 
so i am taking self-responsibility 
i am providing a solution to the problem and no one else

through this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to
have the excuse that i have to survive as a complete
female that is having good sex with a male

through this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to 
justify this by believing that
i  have to be whole and complete 
as a female having positive energy experience
within sex
ais how i defined myself as a complete female
not seeing and realizing that that is balance in polarity
and that real wholeness does not need separation from the source

I forgive myself that i haven't accepted and allowed myself to 
see and realize the implications of my relationship to consequence
that i have not grown to be able to take responsibility 
for the consequence 
i directly created in my own life 
hiding from it within my mind
creating additional personalities
rather than having to face myself
in my own life to actually stand up and change

I forgive myself that i haven't accepted and allowed myself to 
react in fear, guilt, regret and shame
to the consequence i created
in my world 
to instead of looking at  those reactions
forgiving myself, comiting myself to stand and change
i further manifested personalities
reacting by saying  'i don't care'
manifesting the 'i don't care' personality
trying to suppress my relationship and reaction to consequence
believing everything is going to be alright
that he will change
that he loves me
and that he will change
as if i am hiding from myself 
self-dishonest about what is really going on
not letting go of that desire for good sex
instead, letting go of myself, my life
hiding the fact that 'i did this to myself'
that i have to clean up and take responsibility
for the mess i have created in my life 

 I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not stand up and change but instead created a mind relationship with consequence
utilizing my life to create more consequence
creating more characters to evolve the mind
instead of facing it
where i cannot even take responsibility for my own life
at the moment the first consequence manifested
going for the good feelings - within sex
reflecting the nature of who i have become
as what humanity has become as a whole
where we cannot take responsibility
manifesting consequence on a global scale
refusing to see it
entertaing ourselves with 
small happiness and love in our minds
while the masses remain in poverty 
at the sideline
while young children are being abused for sex - because of lack of money
while others have billions 
where most of the money in this world belongs to the 1%
and 99% is being abused in the name of money
in the name of survival
creating the living hell within our midst
that we are accepting and allowing 
ourselves to create


Commitment to Correction: Script

I commit myself to when and as i see myself participating in postponing
taking self-responsibility - to really have a look at opportunities that
have slipped through my fingers 
and so commit myself to face it 
and live my self-directed will
no more accepting to evolve the mind 
of consequence
to instead align myself to practical living solutions

I commit myself to see
i made myself believe that in suppressing consequence
and creating more personalities
that the consequence will just disappear
instead of realizing that all i have to do is face 
the consequence and own up to it
and establish practical solutions
so that i wont create additional consequence in my life

I commit myself to no more create within my life
situations where i do not look
where i just follow blindly
because something or someone gives me a
positive energy experience
to rather rewrite the book that is myself
within myself and commit myself to
practically applying them

I commit myself to care 
for my physicalbody
knowing that this is the gift of life
that is allowing me to move myself
to express myself
to rather than compromise it 
within my desire for positive energy experiences within sex
to instead develop a one and equal relationship with it
and to take care of fetus within my womb when i have it 
and to care for it as myself 
and instead of desiring positive energy within sex
physically interact with my agreement partner
as who i am as breath
enjoying my expression
as who i really am
within physical movement
and instead of screaming in ecstasy
assist myself to accept and allow me 
to birth myself within/as
the primal scream of life
birthing me as the physical - within sex/physical interaction

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