My Food and Nutrition Blogs:
This Blog Is A Continuation of These Blogs:
The Word 'Mathematics'
Mathematics: Numbers as Me
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In this blog, i am writing some self-forgiveness for creating a fear of mathematics within seeing that i was attracted to DSS because he's good at Math - then started to see what 'falling in love' is all about - which is where the 'Mathematics of Falling In Love' started.
At the end of this blog, i am writing some commitment statements to correct myself and do self-corrective application in my living to rather than be directed by my fear direct me here as who i am and use mathematics as equal to my expression.
Self-forgiveness
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to create a relationship of fear to mathematics
to instead of studying it
seek the 'moreness' of me
within liking DSS
because he is a 'genius' at Mathematics/Trigonometry/Algebra
to instead of studying Math
give up on studying mathematics
to instead of seeing
how i can use it as equal to my expression
i took the easy way out
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I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to take the easy way out
within fear of difficulty
and imagine DSS as my boyfriend
and superimposing this illusion on reality
to then manifesting that by manipulating what is here
into marrying him for real
believing he is a genius in Mathematics
so i can
instead of studying Math have a relationship with him
believing it will give me 'happiness' to be with him
as i connected that to having studied mathematics
directed by 'fuzzy logic'
within/as the mind
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I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to think that i will be happy when i enter a relationship with DSS
within fear of being alone
believing that he complements me as i am good in science and he is good at mathematics
and within this relationship evolve me as the mind
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I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear being alone so desires to have a 'relationship' with DSS
as the evil me
NOT wanting to face me and my fears
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I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have internal conversations within my mind when i see DSS knowing how to solve mathematical problemsthat i cannot solve, having the following backchats :
'he is handsome and intelligent'
'how can he solve those problems when no one in the class can solve it? He is a genius in math, he is my kind of guy'
where within this i am abusing words by using them separate from me within my mind
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I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to use the mind to manipulate the body - to justify my fears
where when i fear, i feel my head spinning when presented with mathematical problems i cannot solve
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I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to react to mathematics within anxiety and stress
as i believed it was difficult to understand
connecting it to a 'negative energy experience'
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I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to create this fear of mathematics in my 'within' as the mind and create as a consequence,
this world as my 'without'
that employs mathematics geniuses to manipulate numbers in the stock market, in business etc.
that has gurus who judge mathematics, money and anything quantifiable as mundane and not spiritual
that has people who use mathematics yet not see the inequality in the elite having more money than the poor - and not caring about this unequal distribution of money
to survive within self-interest
in a world of inequality
where mathematics is being used to abuse life
giving of positive and negative mind values
rather than real values
based on our equal and one
relationship to the physical which is LIFE
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I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to sabotage myself
by running away from facing me as who i am - as equal to - mathematics -
as numbers - as symbols
as equal to all manifestations as life
desiring to have a 'positive energy experience'
by having a relationship with someone who i believed was a 'genius' in Math
giving up on myself within mot wanting to face me and my fears
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I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear failure, suffering and difficulty
within studying mathematics
as i saw myself as 'inferior'
believing that those who does not understand math is stupid, therefore, 'inferior'
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I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge me as inferior and DSS as superior
believing that he knows mathematics and i don't
existing as the alternate version of me
in my mind
as the evil me
designing competition in my mind
rather that face my fears
as who i have become within my fear of studying mathematics
running away from a part of myself that i separated myself from
to one day take self-responsibility and embrace it as me
within 'too lateness'
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I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to
accumulate consequence first
before i take self-responsibility
to face my fear of mathematics
within my 'fear of failure, suffering and fear of being inferior'
believing that if i study something i do not like to study
i will 'fail and suffer' and equated it to 'not existing' as who i believed i am
as the mind defined by positive and negative energetic experiences
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I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if i study something i don't like i will fail and suffer
desiring to study only to have a 'positive energy experience'
within self-interest and fear of survival
to when i finish studying the course
earn money to survive
in this world - of inequality
believing that studying Mathematics will give me a
'negative energy experience'
believing i will get bored and become uninterested
then fail
not seeing and realizing that it is what i fear that i have to embrace
as equal to who i am as life
as it is what i separated myself from
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Mathematics of Giving Positive and Negative Mind Values
Vs
Giving a Value Equal to Life
DSS understands complex equations in Mathematics
= positive experience
= +10
I do not understand complex equations in Mathematics
= negative experience
= -10
The Mind Understanding of Attraction:
'Falling in love with someone who can complete me'
means
'completing me as the mind
within
positive and negative experiences
with no negative energy experience
-10 +10 = 0 negative experience
DSS = someone who can remove my negative experience
not realizing that DSS = Life
Who i am = Life
not realizing that i only have to look at my fear of Mathematics
and do some self-forgiveness
for the fear and the different dimensions of the point
correct myself in my living application
and
simply live as who i am as equal to all that is here
and looking at
having an Agreement
with someone
taking him as an equal
where i can assist another
as self
where
the agreement is not based on completing each other
within positive and negative energy experiences
but rather
birthing self as life
so Life can be birthed in this Physical Existence
1(me) +1 (my agreement partner) =2 (people birthing self as life)
1+1=2
where the symbols as numbers and signs and people = Life
1 = Life
+ = Life
= = Life
2 = Life
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Commitment to Correct Myself
I commit myself to when and as i see myself fearing failure and suffering
within studying mathematics etc.
believing it is difficult/will not make me earn money
and taking the easy way out to instead of studying
marry someone who did study mathematics
within who i have become
as the 'lazy', 'inferior', 'easy go lucky', 'giving up', fearing being alone', 'fearing difficulty', 'fearing failure', desiring happiness' characters etc.
I stop - I Breathe
I realize that i cannot run away from me because i am here
as breath in every moment
so instead of running away from my fears as in studying mathematics etc.
and taking someone as my boyfriend and marrying him
to cover up my fears
I stop being directed by my fears
and start directing me
to embrace my fears as me
redefine the word mathematics etc.
and use it as equal to my expression
within writing and speaking
and see how i can use it to express me here as - all life
and take directive authority over my life
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