Candy Crash Paranoia: Win!

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In this blog i am looking at 
how i play computer generated games

There is this desire within me to win and beat the computer generated program

I also can see that i want to use money to buy tools 
like the hammer and painting the candy with stripes
to pass and win the game

This is my mind in a paranoia state
My thoughts directing me
within my fears  as a personality
competing with others
fearing to lose
desiring to win

My Fears:
Fear of losing
Fear of being Inferior
Fear of not knowing 
Fear of being stuck in a level

My Desires:
Desire to pass a level quickly
Desire to compete with others 
Desire to win
Desire to be superior to others
Desire to be praised by others

I am taking self-responsibility 
and directing myself in this blog

I am doing self-forgiveness 
to take responsibility for 
playing this game while i am a simulated me in my mind trying to win
while playing this game

running away from my fears
running away from having a negative energy experience
of losing or having an experience of being in a level for so long before i can
pass the level
and then wanting to just get it over and done with 
to satisfy my mind desires
my fears fueling these desires

while the reality is 
i am in this body breathing

My mind being engaged,
my senses become enslaved to it

i realized that i have to face my fears so i can stop them and enjoy the game

and take self-responsibility for what i 
accepted and allowed 
my fears and desires
in 'my within'  as the mind 
where i eventually create as a consequence outflow
in 'my without' - as this world 
commonsensically looking at how the world operates
where everybody tries to win 
not caring about the ones who lose

I am also writing a commitment to correction script
in the coming blogs and apply the corrections in my living

Self-forgiveness Statements:

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself

to participate in the design of fear of survival as - money - as energy

fear that i will lose 

fear that i will be in a level lower than where others are

Fear that i will be left out 

knowing my son is in a higher level and i, as the mom is at a lower level

believing that he is like his father because his father was good with programmung

believing that because he is the son of his father, he must have gotten his genes

believing that his father's genes are superior that's why i married him

believing that me being in a lower level i am inferior to him and his father

believing that a woman , can be inferior to men  

because they are men  and that's okay

suppressing myself and my expression - within inferiority

while playing the game

knowing that some of my other  relatives are in a higher level

knowing that my friends are in a higher level

so desires to purchase  a hammer and a candy painter 

to facilitate winning a certain level

within competition

imitating my partner who decided to buy a painter

believing that if he is in a level higher than me and he uses that

it must also help me to go to another level

comparing myself to my partner

when he is  a mirror of myself

desiring a positive energy experience from playing the game

using money to win 

using money to get a positive energy experience

regretting that the tools are limited in what it can do

so, gets annoyed that it is not what i expected it to be

so experiencing a negative energy experience

instead of realizing that i can play the game 

expressing myself as who i am here as the breath - stable

without expecting to win and have a positive energy experience

and without reacting when i fail a level

Through this

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to 

doubt who i am uncertain of whether i am the one competing 

to win for a positive energy experience 

the one who lose having a negative energy experience

or the one who is here as breath playing the game in every moment

instead of realizing i am here as breath in every moment

Through this,

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to 

blame the physical for creating a game 

with levels that are difficult to pass

instead of realizing i made this up within my mind

believing that figuring out random candies appearing before me in the game

and chocolate images that are are growing  while i play 

will require constant awareness 

reacting to the difficulty to relax, play and have fun

Through this

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to 

have the excuse that i have to survive as a winner 

with high scores that can easily pass a level

having a positive energy experience

instead of realizing i am here as breath

expressing me within playing this game

Through this 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to 

justify my excuse that i have to survive as a winner  

having a positive energy experience playing this game

believing that winning makes me whole

instead of realizing this is balance in polarity

and that real wholeness does not need separation from the source

===

Commitments

Correcting Myself:

I commit myself to when and as i see myself 

fearing to lose

fearing being inferior

desiring to play the game to be superior

I stop

I breathe

I realize this is me as the mind 

the evil me running away from my fears

satisfying my desire to win - to be superior

using the game to transcend my inferiority

instead of realizing i am here as breath in every moment

living life with/as all life 

I therefore assist myself to accept and allow me

to see

that i do not need to play candy crush 

to compete 

to win 

to feel whole   

I am part of the whole that is life 

I assist myself to stabilize  me as breath here

when playing the game

changing my starting point 

from 

fearing to lose and desiring to win 

as who i have become as the mind 

a program

a system

to 

developing an equal and one relationship with the computer generated program 

use the computer generated program to 

see how i programmed my mind

by looking at how i react when i pass or not pass a level 

use the computer generated program to see how

when i give life to others

i receive life too 

assist to establish a world that will give life to others

based on equality

where all have access to the basic necessities we need to survive

and enjoy life 

and within that give and receive life 

in terms of receiving resources given by the earth

and assisting in allowing everyone to have equal access to that

so we can all live life and enjoy expressing ourselves as life