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Showing posts with label sentient. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sentient. Show all posts
Thursday, November 10, 2016
Tuesday, July 1, 2014
The Making of My E-book 'My Food and Weight': My Food Mind Patterns Leading To My E-book Creation
21 Days Mind Investigation on Sugar
Physical Support
Awareness of How Much Sugar We Take: The Sugar Log Project
Physical Support
Relationship Support: Blogging with Partner
Financial Support
Life Support
Living Principles
===
PRESS
Bringing the memories back here to forgive and correct myself
START
Pattern number 1
The Mind of A Meat Eater
The Mind of A Meat Eater
>I accepted and allowed to be here in a body
>birthed from the merged DNA of my parents
>who chose them to be my parents?
>what if i want someone else as my parent?
>This does not make sense
>Observing my parents, i know they frown sometimes and smile sometimes
>they are talking using words that has positive and negative energies
>they like some things and not like some things
>they smile when they like something
>and shout and get angry when they do not like something
>the tonality of their voice goes up when they are angry
>and goes down when they are relaxed
>I smile when i like things and get angry when i do not like some things
>this is good people respond to me
>i can move this body so let me copy the tone of their voice
>when and what they eat and their behavior
>I know there's something wrong in this world but i cannot tell them about it
>because they seem to enjoy themselves within all these
>I fear surviving in this world seeing all the poverty and how the poor suffer
>while the rich live a comfortable life
>even if my parents are taking care of me
>I still am not secure because if my dad or my mom lose their job we will not be able to make it in this world
>we will be left with no food and will starve
>when my mom see me crying, she comes and offers me food that i like
>she wants me to smile
>they are always cooking and eating food
>and feeding me the food they cooked
>I like the taste of these foods
>my favorite is that meat dish that tasted sweet and sour called 'humba'
>i like the fat in the pig knuckles
>it gives me this happy satisfied feeling, really delicious
>this 'humba' ( pigs knuckles in a sweet and sour sauce) tastes good
>i will tell my mom to cook this dish for me
>i think life is enjoyable
>because my mom asks me what i like for her to cook and she cooks it for me
>she spoils me just like my dad
>although sometimes she's critical of me
>this makes up for that
>i also love those coconut milk dishes eaten with rice
>and best of all
>the turon (banana and jackfruit in sugar wrapped with a flour wrapper and then fried)
>the guinatan (banana, taro and sweet potato in coconut milk)
>haleya (taro in coconut milk, condensed milk and evaporated milk)
>it is a different story when my mom is not there
>when she attends conferences in other cities
>my dad feeds us this small fishes fried in oil and rice
>this is the only thing he feeds us
>and he runs us like he's the general and we are just cadettes
>he's a dictator
>it's good that i am his favorite daughter
>otherwise i cannot stand him
>i will just do what he says when he's here
>that way he will not be getting angry with me
>because i fear him when he's angry
>i saw him punish my brother
>and i don't want to be punished like him
>that is painful
>my mom does not punish anyone, i like her
>i know my mom cooks my favorite foods because she loves me
>although my life will of course be complete
>if i have plenty of money, love, food that i like, the perfect man
>and knowing who i am and where i come from and how i can have eternal life
>that is when my life is really complete
>one day i will have all that
>birthed from the merged DNA of my parents
>who chose them to be my parents?
>what if i want someone else as my parent?
>This does not make sense
>Observing my parents, i know they frown sometimes and smile sometimes
>they are talking using words that has positive and negative energies
>they like some things and not like some things
>they smile when they like something
>and shout and get angry when they do not like something
>the tonality of their voice goes up when they are angry
>and goes down when they are relaxed
>I smile when i like things and get angry when i do not like some things
>this is good people respond to me
>i can move this body so let me copy the tone of their voice
>when and what they eat and their behavior
>I know there's something wrong in this world but i cannot tell them about it
>because they seem to enjoy themselves within all these
>I fear surviving in this world seeing all the poverty and how the poor suffer
>while the rich live a comfortable life
>even if my parents are taking care of me
>I still am not secure because if my dad or my mom lose their job we will not be able to make it in this world
>we will be left with no food and will starve
>when my mom see me crying, she comes and offers me food that i like
>she wants me to smile
>they are always cooking and eating food
>and feeding me the food they cooked
>I like the taste of these foods
>my favorite is that meat dish that tasted sweet and sour called 'humba'
>i like the fat in the pig knuckles
>it gives me this happy satisfied feeling, really delicious
>this 'humba' ( pigs knuckles in a sweet and sour sauce) tastes good
>i will tell my mom to cook this dish for me
>i think life is enjoyable
>because my mom asks me what i like for her to cook and she cooks it for me
>she spoils me just like my dad
>although sometimes she's critical of me
>this makes up for that
>i also love those coconut milk dishes eaten with rice
>and best of all
>the turon (banana and jackfruit in sugar wrapped with a flour wrapper and then fried)
>the guinatan (banana, taro and sweet potato in coconut milk)
>haleya (taro in coconut milk, condensed milk and evaporated milk)
>it is a different story when my mom is not there
>when she attends conferences in other cities
>my dad feeds us this small fishes fried in oil and rice
>this is the only thing he feeds us
>and he runs us like he's the general and we are just cadettes
>he's a dictator
>it's good that i am his favorite daughter
>otherwise i cannot stand him
>i will just do what he says when he's here
>that way he will not be getting angry with me
>because i fear him when he's angry
>i saw him punish my brother
>and i don't want to be punished like him
>that is painful
>my mom does not punish anyone, i like her
>i know my mom cooks my favorite foods because she loves me
>although my life will of course be complete
>if i have plenty of money, love, food that i like, the perfect man
>and knowing who i am and where i come from and how i can have eternal life
>that is when my life is really complete
>one day i will have all that
Pattern Number 2
Mind of a Vegetarian
Mind of a Vegetarian
>Story 1: my grandmother was telling me that when i was young, she was so angry to see a cockroach
>very near me while she was watching me
>as I was sick and dying in the hospital
>that happened when she was ' praying to God to save my life
>at the same time imploring him to take my life and not let me suffer
> if it was not meant for me to survive'
>she loves me
> I was scared to know that i was at one time in the past dying
>Story 2: When i was about 7 -8 yrs old, i felt weak, as i was lying down on bed
> in the house of my grandmother, having a flu
>hating the 'bad taste' of the medicine she gave me
>Story 3: When i was in high school i was having heart pains
>I was told by a doctor that i have 'angina', a mild form of heart disease
>which the 'specialist' dismissed as 'nothing' after he tested my heart
> He advised me to just play outdoors'
>but in my mind i still had this fear of getting sick and fear of death
>which i kept to myself suspecting that those heart pains mean that
>there's something going on in my body
>which i am not aware of nor they are aware of
>Backchat: I heard the lecture
>about yoga and meditation being able to relax the muscles
>i heard the heart muscles get stiff when i am stressed
>so i guess relaxation techniques will release the stress
>Backchat: I better learn about this diet that that they were talking about
>where the lecturer said that the 'sentient vegetarian diet'
>a vegetarian diet without onions, garlic, mushroom and eggs
>was a healthy diet
>this is the same diet they were talking about
>when I was invited to a sentient vegetarian dinner
>this can stop my heart pains
>I better try this 'sentient' cooked vegetarian diet
>the lecture said that food like mushroom, garlic, onion, meat, fish etc.
>has 'negative energy' in them'
>and that generally it is good to eat
>vegetables, fruits, nuts, milk, butter etc.
>because they have positive energy in them
>I guess that is what the guru said
>and it maybe so
>he knows better
>he said he is 'taraka brahma' or god
>Backchat It is a challenge cooking a 'tasty' vegetarian diet
>but I believe that the vegetarian diet is 'better than' a carnivorous diet
>because it is a 'healthy diet'
>I can use vegetarian seasonings and veggie meat so it will taste good
>I am really enjoying the taste now
>but i am still seduced by the smell of pork barbeque
>let me try just one
>i am having a flu because i tasted that pork barbeque
>now i can say that vegetarian food is better than carnivorous food
>because i did not have the flu when i was eating vegetarian food
>I will ask everyone i meet to try this diet
>besides, this is what the yogis eat
>so this must be the diet of spiritual or highly evolved beings
>the guru who is enlightened eats this food
>this must be the best diet
>very near me while she was watching me
>as I was sick and dying in the hospital
>that happened when she was ' praying to God to save my life
>at the same time imploring him to take my life and not let me suffer
> if it was not meant for me to survive'
>she loves me
> I was scared to know that i was at one time in the past dying
>Story 2: When i was about 7 -8 yrs old, i felt weak, as i was lying down on bed
> in the house of my grandmother, having a flu
>hating the 'bad taste' of the medicine she gave me
>Story 3: When i was in high school i was having heart pains
>I was told by a doctor that i have 'angina', a mild form of heart disease
>which the 'specialist' dismissed as 'nothing' after he tested my heart
> He advised me to just play outdoors'
>but in my mind i still had this fear of getting sick and fear of death
>which i kept to myself suspecting that those heart pains mean that
>there's something going on in my body
>which i am not aware of nor they are aware of
>Backchat: I heard the lecture
>about yoga and meditation being able to relax the muscles
>i heard the heart muscles get stiff when i am stressed
>so i guess relaxation techniques will release the stress
>Backchat: I better learn about this diet that that they were talking about
>where the lecturer said that the 'sentient vegetarian diet'
>a vegetarian diet without onions, garlic, mushroom and eggs
>was a healthy diet
>this is the same diet they were talking about
>when I was invited to a sentient vegetarian dinner
>this can stop my heart pains
>I better try this 'sentient' cooked vegetarian diet
>the lecture said that food like mushroom, garlic, onion, meat, fish etc.
>has 'negative energy' in them'
>and that generally it is good to eat
>vegetables, fruits, nuts, milk, butter etc.
>because they have positive energy in them
>I guess that is what the guru said
>and it maybe so
>he knows better
>he said he is 'taraka brahma' or god
>Backchat It is a challenge cooking a 'tasty' vegetarian diet
>but I believe that the vegetarian diet is 'better than' a carnivorous diet
>because it is a 'healthy diet'
>I can use vegetarian seasonings and veggie meat so it will taste good
>I am really enjoying the taste now
>but i am still seduced by the smell of pork barbeque
>let me try just one
>i am having a flu because i tasted that pork barbeque
>now i can say that vegetarian food is better than carnivorous food
>because i did not have the flu when i was eating vegetarian food
>I will ask everyone i meet to try this diet
>besides, this is what the yogis eat
>so this must be the diet of spiritual or highly evolved beings
>the guru who is enlightened eats this food
>this must be the best diet
Pattern Number 3
The Mind of a Vegan
The Mind of a Vegan
>I attended a vegan get-together and saw a film
>where the doctor took solidified fat inside a man's artery
>in the hospital there's lots of suffering people that are experiencing pain
>being operated on is painful, as i had a memory of being operated on in the past
>being in the hospital makes me unable to move around or work
>which is like stopping life
>why should i suffer the pain when i can avoid it by taking care of my health
>sickness is unnatural, like a negative energy
>i definitely don't like to die as i have a lot of things to do on earth
>I do not like that bland taste though
>The vegan cake tasted bland
>i better just take that bland taste because that will make me healthy
>i know i can make that vegan food taste good
>I really don't like to get sick nor go to the hospital
>according to the doctor in the film milk can clog my arteries
>i better turn vegan and adopt a vegan diet
>where the doctor took solidified fat inside a man's artery
>in the hospital there's lots of suffering people that are experiencing pain
>being operated on is painful, as i had a memory of being operated on in the past
>being in the hospital makes me unable to move around or work
>which is like stopping life
>why should i suffer the pain when i can avoid it by taking care of my health
>sickness is unnatural, like a negative energy
>i definitely don't like to die as i have a lot of things to do on earth
>I do not like that bland taste though
>The vegan cake tasted bland
>i better just take that bland taste because that will make me healthy
>i know i can make that vegan food taste good
>I really don't like to get sick nor go to the hospital
>according to the doctor in the film milk can clog my arteries
>i better turn vegan and adopt a vegan diet
Pattern Number 4
The Mind of a Raw Foodist
The Mind of a Raw Foodist
> I wanted to go and eat in a raw food restaurant as i had viewed some videos about it
>which said raw food is tasty
>one day i went and visited a raw food restaurant
>i tasted some raw brownies that are chewy and that dissolves in my mouth
>and raw ice cream that is creamy but has no sugar
>drizzled with chocolate syrup that has no sugar
>wow, that is delicious
>I wanted to try and prepare raw food
>I don't have money for an expensive blender and a food processor
>I can try cooking food under the sun
>this tastes good
>i want to really learn how to make raw food taste good
>let me watch videos online and learn
>the raw burgers are really good
>i miss the rice but i can make a raw rice and let it taste good
>I can make a youtube channel
> so i can document my journey and get people to watch me
>Backchat: the chocolate croissant in the corner store looks delicious
>I should not really eat one because i am happy with raw food
>but hey who cares?
>no one can see me
>it's easy i just buy the croissant and eat
>i have just cheated
>i feel guilty about eating it
>but why feel guilty
>I know that cooked food is poison yet i still eat it, that's bad
>I will put on weight, i know
>i will look ugly if i eat cooked food again
>i will look old and wrinkly and my boyfriend will see it
>i better get back to raw food again
>this switching to cooked and back to raw
>can be the cause of me having tumor/cancer
>Backchat: i really feel good and look good
>when i eat a 100% raw food diet
>I believe that the 100% raw food diet
>is 'the best diet in the planet'
>which said raw food is tasty
>one day i went and visited a raw food restaurant
>i tasted some raw brownies that are chewy and that dissolves in my mouth
>and raw ice cream that is creamy but has no sugar
>drizzled with chocolate syrup that has no sugar
>wow, that is delicious
>I wanted to try and prepare raw food
>I don't have money for an expensive blender and a food processor
>I can try cooking food under the sun
>this tastes good
>i want to really learn how to make raw food taste good
>let me watch videos online and learn
>the raw burgers are really good
>i miss the rice but i can make a raw rice and let it taste good
>I can make a youtube channel
> so i can document my journey and get people to watch me
>Backchat: the chocolate croissant in the corner store looks delicious
>I should not really eat one because i am happy with raw food
>but hey who cares?
>no one can see me
>it's easy i just buy the croissant and eat
>i have just cheated
>i feel guilty about eating it
>but why feel guilty
>I know that cooked food is poison yet i still eat it, that's bad
>I will put on weight, i know
>i will look ugly if i eat cooked food again
>i will look old and wrinkly and my boyfriend will see it
>i better get back to raw food again
>this switching to cooked and back to raw
>can be the cause of me having tumor/cancer
>Backchat: i really feel good and look good
>when i eat a 100% raw food diet
>I believe that the 100% raw food diet
>is 'the best diet in the planet'
Pattern Number 5
The Mind of a Liquidarian and A Sun-Gazer
The Mind of a Liquidarian and A Sun-Gazer
>I saw a man in 'youtube' who survives from drinking liquids and gazing at the sun
>he looked healthy and serene
>maybe because he was just surviving on liquids
>that can make one look serene - because there's not much desire for food to deal with
>and gazing at the sun, i can get nourishment from the sun
>the source of life energy, it can give me additional life force
>he said when he did this diet
>he is being monitored by doctors from the scientific community
>I assumed that because he was being monitored by doctors
>he is doing the right thing, it is reliable because it is backed by science
>let me try gazing at the sun tomorrow
>the video said to start gazing at the sun for 10 seconds in the beginning
>Backchat: Can this damage my eyes?
>there was a document that said it was dangerous
>and can damage the eyes
>but yesterday i felt good gazing at the sun
>I felt happy after that
>let me try this again for a week and see what happens
>i really feel happy after i gaze at the sun
>this is the best thing i have done
>this is very simple to do
>this gives me peace and serenity
>it's amazing that this simple thing can make me happy
>he looked healthy and serene
>maybe because he was just surviving on liquids
>that can make one look serene - because there's not much desire for food to deal with
>and gazing at the sun, i can get nourishment from the sun
>the source of life energy, it can give me additional life force
>he said when he did this diet
>he is being monitored by doctors from the scientific community
>I assumed that because he was being monitored by doctors
>he is doing the right thing, it is reliable because it is backed by science
>let me try gazing at the sun tomorrow
>the video said to start gazing at the sun for 10 seconds in the beginning
>Backchat: Can this damage my eyes?
>there was a document that said it was dangerous
>and can damage the eyes
>but yesterday i felt good gazing at the sun
>I felt happy after that
>let me try this again for a week and see what happens
>i really feel happy after i gaze at the sun
>this is the best thing i have done
>this is very simple to do
>this gives me peace and serenity
>it's amazing that this simple thing can make me happy
Pattern Number 6
The Mind of One Who Juice Feasts
The Mind of One Who Juice Feasts
> My raw food friends started juice feasting
>i have this very tiny lump the size of a small bead in my right breast is growing bigger
>can this be a tumor?
> No, this is nothing
>this can really be a tumor
>I am scared, but i shouldn't be
>this will go away if i take healthy food
>these are just toxins
>maybe coming from me eating cooked food sometimes
>when i should be eating 100% raw foods
>I should have just stick to 100% raw food diet
>then i will never get sick
>i have to detoxify
>i have read that juicing can detoxify the system
>they are juice feasting so i should juice feast with the people in the internet
>it is very difficult to just take juice because my body will feel so hungry
>and crave solid food
>but this lump is getting bigger
>I better not think about this
>this is nothing really, tomorrow this will be gone
>Backchat: I will look really young when i juice feast
>and get rid of the small lump
>that will be really good
>but what if it does not stop growing and it becomes breast cancer?
>It will not
>just be positive
>Backchat: I crave solid food
>This juice feasting is tough
>maybe i will just do smoothies
>they are more tasty
>and there's more variation i can do too
>it is still in liquid form so it's okay
>i have this very tiny lump the size of a small bead in my right breast is growing bigger
>can this be a tumor?
> No, this is nothing
>this can really be a tumor
>I am scared, but i shouldn't be
>this will go away if i take healthy food
>these are just toxins
>maybe coming from me eating cooked food sometimes
>when i should be eating 100% raw foods
>I should have just stick to 100% raw food diet
>then i will never get sick
>i have to detoxify
>i have read that juicing can detoxify the system
>they are juice feasting so i should juice feast with the people in the internet
>it is very difficult to just take juice because my body will feel so hungry
>and crave solid food
>but this lump is getting bigger
>I better not think about this
>this is nothing really, tomorrow this will be gone
>Backchat: I will look really young when i juice feast
>and get rid of the small lump
>that will be really good
>but what if it does not stop growing and it becomes breast cancer?
>It will not
>just be positive
>Backchat: I crave solid food
>This juice feasting is tough
>maybe i will just do smoothies
>they are more tasty
>and there's more variation i can do too
>it is still in liquid form so it's okay
Pattern Number 7
The Mind of a fruitarian
The Mind of a fruitarian
> Memory1: I saw a man in a youtube video surviving just eating fruits
>Wow, i'd also like to do that
>That will be cool to be able to just survive on fruits
>My digestive tract will be really clean
>and i will look like a young innocent girl
>thin and petite
>that is really exciting
>i will have a peaceful mind free of desire for tasty cooked and raw foods
>Memory2: My dad had an illness so i visited him one day
>I was surprised to know that he was just eating fruits
>he looked 10 years younger his age
>that is amazing
>and he's healed himself from his illness
>wow, the fruitarian diet works
>it healed my father
>he looked good because he just ate fruits
>his body became so clean
>bacteria and viruses cannot invade it
>Backchat: i might as well just eat fruits
>heal myself and let this small lump disappear
>and at the same time look young
>i will feel good and will look good
>since my husband is younger than me
>this will not make me look old when i am with him in public
>i guess i have to eat a lot of fruits and eat always
>but that is difficult to do because i will still cook vegetarian food
>for my husband
>I will be tempted to try his food
>and I also like to eat the foods that taste good
>but i have to do this because i have a small lump
>i will not tell my husband about the lump because he might panic
>before he knows it
>i will be able to make it disappear
>then i don't have to deal with his negative reaction
>Backchat: my mind is finding it difficult to focus
>I feel too light
>I fear that i will not be grounded
>I can't do this
>my head feels so light
>I can easily tip over or fall
>This is too difficult
>but this is the only way i can stop this lump from getting bigger
>I think being a raw foodist again is okay
>because i will also eat fresh fruits, vegetables and nuts
>it is not as good as being a fruitarian
>but raw food is better than cooked vegetarian food
>Wow, i'd also like to do that
>That will be cool to be able to just survive on fruits
>My digestive tract will be really clean
>and i will look like a young innocent girl
>thin and petite
>that is really exciting
>i will have a peaceful mind free of desire for tasty cooked and raw foods
>Memory2: My dad had an illness so i visited him one day
>I was surprised to know that he was just eating fruits
>he looked 10 years younger his age
>that is amazing
>and he's healed himself from his illness
>wow, the fruitarian diet works
>it healed my father
>he looked good because he just ate fruits
>his body became so clean
>bacteria and viruses cannot invade it
>Backchat: i might as well just eat fruits
>heal myself and let this small lump disappear
>and at the same time look young
>i will feel good and will look good
>since my husband is younger than me
>this will not make me look old when i am with him in public
>i guess i have to eat a lot of fruits and eat always
>but that is difficult to do because i will still cook vegetarian food
>for my husband
>I will be tempted to try his food
>and I also like to eat the foods that taste good
>but i have to do this because i have a small lump
>i will not tell my husband about the lump because he might panic
>before he knows it
>i will be able to make it disappear
>then i don't have to deal with his negative reaction
>Backchat: my mind is finding it difficult to focus
>I feel too light
>I fear that i will not be grounded
>I can't do this
>my head feels so light
>I can easily tip over or fall
>This is too difficult
>but this is the only way i can stop this lump from getting bigger
>I think being a raw foodist again is okay
>because i will also eat fresh fruits, vegetables and nuts
>it is not as good as being a fruitarian
>but raw food is better than cooked vegetarian food
Pattern Number 8
Mind of a 2x Raw Foodist
Mind of a 2x Raw Foodist
>but the lump in my breast is getting bigger
>there's an itchy nagging feeling inside my body
>let me see the doctor even if i do not believe in them, for the lump to be examined
>because it grew very big
>he said i have breast cancer according to the mamogram and tests
>can i die? i have too many things i have to do - i cannot die
>but just in case i die, what will happen to me, go and talk to the portal? I don't know
>i felt i need another diet that is lighter than raw foods
>so i can deal with the burning, nagging, itchy sensation in my body
>there's an itchy nagging feeling inside my body
>let me see the doctor even if i do not believe in them, for the lump to be examined
>because it grew very big
>he said i have breast cancer according to the mamogram and tests
>can i die? i have too many things i have to do - i cannot die
>but just in case i die, what will happen to me, go and talk to the portal? I don't know
>i felt i need another diet that is lighter than raw foods
>so i can deal with the burning, nagging, itchy sensation in my body
Pattern Number 9
Mind of a 2x Juice Feaster/ Cancer Patient
>when the doctor told me i had breast cancer, i was not surprised as i have seen the tumor grow
>I hid it believing it will stop growing and magically disappear
>i hoped that through good nutrition and a healthy diet i can fix this
>it is now obvious this does not work, it can make me feel light or heavy
>but it does not heal the cause of this
>i wanted to know the cause of cancer
>i have to do research myself
>i will search the internet and see what they have in terms of cure
>some uses baking soda in their water
>some go and check in - in expensive health resorts that give them a healthy diet
>some juice wheat grass
>some cleanse their blood through oxegenating it
>but how do i know what really happened to them
>how do i know the ins and out of what they went through
>I am confused
>I still do not know what works
>all i know is that i have to take on the mind, see the mental cause of this
>i will use self-forgiveness for that, i have used it for a year - it's difficult but it makes sense
>it is me that is forgiving myself so i know i am doing something for myself for real
>and then i will take on the physical part which is, assist my body to survive
>this is a big thing, it is difficult because this does not allow me to even feel sad about this
>i have to be here and look at the physical body and what will commonsensically help
>this is a big job
>but if i transcend all these
>i will be stronger and know more about myself
>and I will not be scared of death anymore
>i'd like to transcend this
>i have tackled many problems in my life and i am still here so i know i can do this
>I just have to pull myself together
>it is very difficult to look at the practical side of things when i have fear of death
>the doctors just do what they do like a robot of the system
>and the information in the internet does not help me to decide what to do
>i wish i will find something that will tell me what to do exactly
>what is the cause of this
>and how to survive this
>i have to see the commonsense of all these myself
>These doctors cannot be trusted
>the medicine they give is full of chemicals which even cause side effects
>i do not like medicines
>i do not like nurses
>i do not like hospitals
>i guess i have to do self-forgiveness for my fear of all these
>i heard Chinese herbs work
>i will investigate everything that can help me because i am alone in this life and death situation
>this Chinese doctor, she just does what she normally does
>she does not really care if i live or die
>that acupuncture made me relax a bit, but not much
>but i did not see any change in my body, or should i see any change?
>i know she will give me a list of herbs to buy and cook
>the taste of these herbs is horrible
>i tend to feel like i want to vomit when i take them
>but i will take them hopefully this will heal me and make me survive
>they are very bitter and cost a lot of money
>illness also cost money
>what other things work?
>i remember my friend bought a radionics machine in the US
>let me contact him
>he said to send him a strand of my hair
>and he will see what kind of remedy will match
>let me buy this remedy
>i hope this works because in a week's time i will have my surgery
>i feel that something is being squeezed from within, i do not know what is going on
>but the tumor is still big
>i do not really have any option but surgery
>this is too much to deal with
>what will happen to my kids if i leave
>i guess they will still survive as they have survived in the past
>even with me abroad
>i do not have much to lose if i die as i do not have much possession and ties
>but this life is important for me as i would like to do many things in this life to assist people
>i don't know how yet
>but i will
>given more time
>my mom is here again trying to help me and assist me to drink the mushroom capsules
>she wanted me to take
>it's supposed to work
>because she said it worked for her
>she's nagging me
>and it irritates me
>i noticed i get irritated immediately now
>this itchy nagging feeling inside my body is stressful
>added to that is - people around me are more scared than me of cancer and death
>this is ridiculous, lol
>i even talk to them that i am allright - and talk to them about their fears
>I am grateful that i have learned self-forgiveness
>I am grateful that I learned to correct myself
>I don't know how i can battle this disease without self-forgiveness
>somehow i can feel the release in my body when i forgive myself
>but now the lump has grown to the size of a small melon
>i need to also look at the physical side of things
>and find out what to do with my body
>I don't even know what caused cancer
>i can't eat much because of this burning itchy nagging feeling inside me
>these juices will help me feel light
>solids make me feel heavy
>heaviness and that burning itchy nagging feeling that is there constantly is too much for me
>I will make juices - of fruits and herbs throughout the day
>I have my mom to help me
>but i hope she will not nag me
>because that in itself is stressful
>the surgeon told me i have to get chemotherapy and radiation
>he said if i don't, it will be nasty that even my family will not want to visit me
>fuck, how can he scare me when i am ill?
>t is difficult to decide which way i am going
>but i am the only one that knows my body well enough
>this suggestion is to have radiation to collapse the tumor
>then have chemotherapy to kill the cancer cells
>but with that burning itchy nagging feeling here all day plus weakness due to chemo, i will die
>it is just too much for me to take
>and he said there is no chance of survival
>so let me have another opinion from another doctor
>he said that radiation can work but again , no chance of survival
>they diagnosed me as having stage 4 breast cancer
>let me talk to another yogi friend, also a surgeon
>he said that my chances in surviving if i opt for surgery is not much but anything is possible
>i think that when that throbbing burning itchy feeling is gone when the tumor is gone
>i will be okay because i will feel comfortable
>he said if they remove all of the tissues in my breast and that's hard to do - there's a chance
>i opted for surgery only
>refusing chemotherapy and radiation
>i still have to make decisions even when i am ill?
>This is ridiculous, but what can i do? I am the only one who i can trust to decide for me
>this surgeon is in the operating room so let me request him to remove all breast cancerous tissues
>he said he will try, but he did not really like my decision to not have chemo and radiation
>even my oncologist shakes his head with my decision and does not want to look at me in the eye
>he did not like that i went against his advise - to have radiation and chemotherapy
>even my surgeon does not like my decision - it is not what he advised me to do
>now i am awake from the operation
>my left front thigh is bandaged as they grafted my thigh skin to the breast
>it's difficult to move my legs
>I am wondering why there's no pain
>I did not take drugs either after the operation
>I feel okay
>It is interesting that the yogi friends that came over
>were sad when they came
>i had to even make the yogi teacher feel better
>I am thankful that self-forgiveness is here
>It assisted me in releasing my fears
>the burning, itchy, nagging feeling is gone
>but my body is deformed
>what will my husband think of my body?
>how will he survive without sex for about 3 months
>I am worried that he will cheat
>I am scared of wounds and blood
>yet they wanted me to nurse my breast wound myself
>this is scary
>and they also wanted me to change the dressing of the thigh wound, are you kidding me?
>but it's good to know that i am still here
>i only have myself and self-forgiveness, nothing else, when i faced death
>self-forgiveness works
>i am grateful
>I am also thankful that i saw my desires and fears about how i look
>how can i not know that i have fear of my body being deformed
>until now, after surgery?
>I did not know i had fear of death until now, that i faced death in the face
>I really thought i did not have any fear of death nor being deformed
>my thigh has changed
>i have only one breast
>that's sad
>i am just glad that my husband has a good health care coverage that covers both of us
>the treatment bills cost $30,000
>i will be fucked without this insurance
>I am grateful that he works in a good company
>how will my husband react to these changes in my body, i wonder?
>that remains to be seen
>I hope he does not mind these changes
>I really do not know what he is thinking so I know he will not
>but at the moment all i care about is that i am alive
>i am really grateful that i am alive
Mind of a 2x Juice Feaster/ Cancer Patient
>when the doctor told me i had breast cancer, i was not surprised as i have seen the tumor grow
>I hid it believing it will stop growing and magically disappear
>i hoped that through good nutrition and a healthy diet i can fix this
>it is now obvious this does not work, it can make me feel light or heavy
>but it does not heal the cause of this
>i wanted to know the cause of cancer
>i have to do research myself
>i will search the internet and see what they have in terms of cure
>some uses baking soda in their water
>some go and check in - in expensive health resorts that give them a healthy diet
>some juice wheat grass
>some cleanse their blood through oxegenating it
>but how do i know what really happened to them
>how do i know the ins and out of what they went through
>I am confused
>I still do not know what works
>all i know is that i have to take on the mind, see the mental cause of this
>i will use self-forgiveness for that, i have used it for a year - it's difficult but it makes sense
>it is me that is forgiving myself so i know i am doing something for myself for real
>and then i will take on the physical part which is, assist my body to survive
>this is a big thing, it is difficult because this does not allow me to even feel sad about this
>i have to be here and look at the physical body and what will commonsensically help
>this is a big job
>but if i transcend all these
>i will be stronger and know more about myself
>and I will not be scared of death anymore
>i'd like to transcend this
>i have tackled many problems in my life and i am still here so i know i can do this
>I just have to pull myself together
>it is very difficult to look at the practical side of things when i have fear of death
>the doctors just do what they do like a robot of the system
>and the information in the internet does not help me to decide what to do
>i wish i will find something that will tell me what to do exactly
>what is the cause of this
>and how to survive this
>i have to see the commonsense of all these myself
>These doctors cannot be trusted
>the medicine they give is full of chemicals which even cause side effects
>i do not like medicines
>i do not like nurses
>i do not like hospitals
>i guess i have to do self-forgiveness for my fear of all these
>i heard Chinese herbs work
>i will investigate everything that can help me because i am alone in this life and death situation
>this Chinese doctor, she just does what she normally does
>she does not really care if i live or die
>that acupuncture made me relax a bit, but not much
>but i did not see any change in my body, or should i see any change?
>i know she will give me a list of herbs to buy and cook
>the taste of these herbs is horrible
>i tend to feel like i want to vomit when i take them
>but i will take them hopefully this will heal me and make me survive
>they are very bitter and cost a lot of money
>illness also cost money
>what other things work?
>i remember my friend bought a radionics machine in the US
>let me contact him
>he said to send him a strand of my hair
>and he will see what kind of remedy will match
>let me buy this remedy
>i hope this works because in a week's time i will have my surgery
>i feel that something is being squeezed from within, i do not know what is going on
>but the tumor is still big
>i do not really have any option but surgery
>this is too much to deal with
>what will happen to my kids if i leave
>i guess they will still survive as they have survived in the past
>even with me abroad
>i do not have much to lose if i die as i do not have much possession and ties
>but this life is important for me as i would like to do many things in this life to assist people
>i don't know how yet
>but i will
>given more time
>my mom is here again trying to help me and assist me to drink the mushroom capsules
>she wanted me to take
>it's supposed to work
>because she said it worked for her
>she's nagging me
>and it irritates me
>i noticed i get irritated immediately now
>this itchy nagging feeling inside my body is stressful
>added to that is - people around me are more scared than me of cancer and death
>this is ridiculous, lol
>i even talk to them that i am allright - and talk to them about their fears
>I am grateful that i have learned self-forgiveness
>I am grateful that I learned to correct myself
>I don't know how i can battle this disease without self-forgiveness
>somehow i can feel the release in my body when i forgive myself
>but now the lump has grown to the size of a small melon
>i need to also look at the physical side of things
>and find out what to do with my body
>I don't even know what caused cancer
>i can't eat much because of this burning itchy nagging feeling inside me
>these juices will help me feel light
>solids make me feel heavy
>heaviness and that burning itchy nagging feeling that is there constantly is too much for me
>I will make juices - of fruits and herbs throughout the day
>I have my mom to help me
>but i hope she will not nag me
>because that in itself is stressful
>the surgeon told me i have to get chemotherapy and radiation
>he said if i don't, it will be nasty that even my family will not want to visit me
>fuck, how can he scare me when i am ill?
>t is difficult to decide which way i am going
>but i am the only one that knows my body well enough
>this suggestion is to have radiation to collapse the tumor
>then have chemotherapy to kill the cancer cells
>but with that burning itchy nagging feeling here all day plus weakness due to chemo, i will die
>it is just too much for me to take
>and he said there is no chance of survival
>so let me have another opinion from another doctor
>he said that radiation can work but again , no chance of survival
>they diagnosed me as having stage 4 breast cancer
>let me talk to another yogi friend, also a surgeon
>he said that my chances in surviving if i opt for surgery is not much but anything is possible
>i think that when that throbbing burning itchy feeling is gone when the tumor is gone
>i will be okay because i will feel comfortable
>he said if they remove all of the tissues in my breast and that's hard to do - there's a chance
>i opted for surgery only
>refusing chemotherapy and radiation
>i still have to make decisions even when i am ill?
>This is ridiculous, but what can i do? I am the only one who i can trust to decide for me
>this surgeon is in the operating room so let me request him to remove all breast cancerous tissues
>he said he will try, but he did not really like my decision to not have chemo and radiation
>even my oncologist shakes his head with my decision and does not want to look at me in the eye
>he did not like that i went against his advise - to have radiation and chemotherapy
>even my surgeon does not like my decision - it is not what he advised me to do
>now i am awake from the operation
>my left front thigh is bandaged as they grafted my thigh skin to the breast
>it's difficult to move my legs
>I am wondering why there's no pain
>I did not take drugs either after the operation
>I feel okay
>It is interesting that the yogi friends that came over
>were sad when they came
>i had to even make the yogi teacher feel better
>I am thankful that self-forgiveness is here
>It assisted me in releasing my fears
>the burning, itchy, nagging feeling is gone
>but my body is deformed
>what will my husband think of my body?
>how will he survive without sex for about 3 months
>I am worried that he will cheat
>I am scared of wounds and blood
>yet they wanted me to nurse my breast wound myself
>this is scary
>and they also wanted me to change the dressing of the thigh wound, are you kidding me?
>but it's good to know that i am still here
>i only have myself and self-forgiveness, nothing else, when i faced death
>self-forgiveness works
>i am grateful
>I am also thankful that i saw my desires and fears about how i look
>how can i not know that i have fear of my body being deformed
>until now, after surgery?
>I did not know i had fear of death until now, that i faced death in the face
>I really thought i did not have any fear of death nor being deformed
>my thigh has changed
>i have only one breast
>that's sad
>i am just glad that my husband has a good health care coverage that covers both of us
>the treatment bills cost $30,000
>i will be fucked without this insurance
>I am grateful that he works in a good company
>how will my husband react to these changes in my body, i wonder?
>that remains to be seen
>I hope he does not mind these changes
>I really do not know what he is thinking so I know he will not
>but at the moment all i care about is that i am alive
>i am really grateful that i am alive
Mind Pattern Number 10
The Mind of a 3x Raw Foodist Investigating Breatharianism:
The Mind of a 3x Raw Foodist Investigating Breatharianism:
>I decided to eat raw foods again because i find my body really likes it
>This man is breatharian and teaching personal fitness
>he said he does not eat nor drink for a year now. wow, he's still alive
>he runs fast and works as a fitness trainor? Is that real, but how?
> it has to be true otherwise people will find out he's lying so he must be telling the truth
>first thing i want to find out is where he’s getting all that energy?
>if he’s not eating and he still has that energy
>there must be another source of energy other than food
>it must be from the life force
>wow, then this is the way people really live
>what if our real diet is really raw?
>shit that means all of the healthy eating facts are not facts but are not true
>that is scary
>that means that the scientists do not really know the body
>i want to see if that is really true
>i want to experiment and see if that is really possible
>to live without eating and drinking?
>man, that is crazy but what if there is some truth in that?
>but i can’t try that because it is too difficult not to eat
>i can get hungry and die
>I wanted to know if the body still has energy even when i do not eat food
>i have investigated most of the healthy diets around so it is really something i want to find out
>in the internet, i read that there is a cell that does not require nutrition
>there are even scientists who are practicing inedia/not eating
>not only that, there are about 100 people employed in normal businesses
>who are practicing inedia
>and one of them is the scientist that discovered this cell that did not need nourishment
>when i researched about inedia and breatharianism in the internet i found out
>there is really a cell that can survive even without nourishment
>the proponent of inedia is Lao Tzu
>i researched and what i found out is that he just diappeared from the palace
>and there were accounts that the last time they saw him
>was when he was riding an animal
>he must have diappeared and became immortal
>this is very interesting
>i really want to investigate this diet myself
>because this can be the way to immortality
>This man is breatharian and teaching personal fitness
>he said he does not eat nor drink for a year now. wow, he's still alive
>he runs fast and works as a fitness trainor? Is that real, but how?
> it has to be true otherwise people will find out he's lying so he must be telling the truth
>first thing i want to find out is where he’s getting all that energy?
>if he’s not eating and he still has that energy
>there must be another source of energy other than food
>it must be from the life force
>wow, then this is the way people really live
>what if our real diet is really raw?
>shit that means all of the healthy eating facts are not facts but are not true
>that is scary
>that means that the scientists do not really know the body
>i want to see if that is really true
>i want to experiment and see if that is really possible
>to live without eating and drinking?
>man, that is crazy but what if there is some truth in that?
>but i can’t try that because it is too difficult not to eat
>i can get hungry and die
>I wanted to know if the body still has energy even when i do not eat food
>i have investigated most of the healthy diets around so it is really something i want to find out
>in the internet, i read that there is a cell that does not require nutrition
>there are even scientists who are practicing inedia/not eating
>not only that, there are about 100 people employed in normal businesses
>who are practicing inedia
>and one of them is the scientist that discovered this cell that did not need nourishment
>when i researched about inedia and breatharianism in the internet i found out
>there is really a cell that can survive even without nourishment
>the proponent of inedia is Lao Tzu
>i researched and what i found out is that he just diappeared from the palace
>and there were accounts that the last time they saw him
>was when he was riding an animal
>he must have diappeared and became immortal
>this is very interesting
>i really want to investigate this diet myself
>because this can be the way to immortality
Pattern Number 11
The Mind of a 2x Meat Eater
The Mind of a 2x Meat Eater
>I have to see if meat is really not bad for me, as the interview revealed
>now I am eating meat i do not have any reactions
>before, just a little bit of meat and i get sick
>I do not understand this
>I gained weight, meat makes me fat
>my desire for all those meat dishes i ate before i became vegetarian came back
>it's good i can forgive myself for my desire for these tasty food
>otherwise i will be addicted to the taste of 'adobo', fried fish and 'sinigang na ulo ng salmon' (Filipino food)
>and then i will not stop eating them
>then i will get really fat
>i cannot have another relationship when that happens
>what will i do?
>now I am eating meat i do not have any reactions
>before, just a little bit of meat and i get sick
>I do not understand this
>I gained weight, meat makes me fat
>my desire for all those meat dishes i ate before i became vegetarian came back
>it's good i can forgive myself for my desire for these tasty food
>otherwise i will be addicted to the taste of 'adobo', fried fish and 'sinigang na ulo ng salmon' (Filipino food)
>and then i will not stop eating them
>then i will get really fat
>i cannot have another relationship when that happens
>what will i do?
Pattern Number 12
The Mind of a Breatharian
The Mind of a Breatharian
>Where i worked, they started a weight loss contest
>competition is not good
>but i have to put my name in so i can show them my process and tell my workmates about it
>I did not want to sign up but i did sign up, let's see if i will lose weight
>I wanted to lose weight and plan to not eat and drink sometimes once a week for a start
>i did the fasting when i was doing yoga so i can do this
>i will be ahead in the competition if i do this
>but i should not compete because this is mind participation
>I will gradually do this until i am able to not eat nor drink for 3 1/2 days
>this fasting without water nor food once a week is okay, it is doable
>then i will gradually do the 'not eating nor drinking twice a week',
>I will fast 2 1/2 days a week and then 3 1/2 consecutive days
>this is tough, i feel like i am dying and this is just the first day
>this is amazing, i expected my body will be really tired today the second day
>but the body is slowly adopting to NOT eating nor drinking
>this is something weird
>let's see what happens when i stop eating nor drinking for 3 days
>fuck, my body is adjusting to not eating nor drinking - the body likes it
>I can run fast
>what is happening? I am supposed to be run down by now and dead
>I feel so light - lighter than when i was eating
>I can run so fast, i have never run like that before
>and where does this energy come from?
>when i do not get food to give my body energy
>so all these talk about food being a source of energy is not true?
>or am i missing something?
>i am confused
>I am mesmerized by these new found 'feats'
>if majority of people eats food and i do not eat nor drink
>they should have more energy and i will be dying by now
>but i am alive and energized in a way that i have not felt before
>I must investigate this
>aside from my skin being dehydrated everything is okay
>i do not have a big shit, my shit is like a bird shit
>so this is what happens when one does not eat nor drink
>my body feels energized with just 2 hours of sleep
>and does not want to sleep more
>i have more time to do things i need to do
>that is something that i never felt with all the diets that i had tried
>one has to be very brave and superhuman to try this diet
>first because the hunger is unbearable the first day
>that is tough
>i felt i was going to die
>I felt slowly losing my strength
>and if someone will give up in the first day
>one will not see that the next days after that
>the body adjusts
>that is awesome to see that
>I fear being breatharian completely though
>because whatever happens i will not be supported by any one
>i am scared that i will be alone in this
>and when something happens to me
>no one knows what to do or how to treat me
>because there's not much research done yet about this
>I might die
>I better stop because the man who calls himself 'the beast'
>said this is energetic bullshit
>i don't know why but I will find out why, one day
>competition is not good
>but i have to put my name in so i can show them my process and tell my workmates about it
>I did not want to sign up but i did sign up, let's see if i will lose weight
>I wanted to lose weight and plan to not eat and drink sometimes once a week for a start
>i did the fasting when i was doing yoga so i can do this
>i will be ahead in the competition if i do this
>but i should not compete because this is mind participation
>I will gradually do this until i am able to not eat nor drink for 3 1/2 days
>this fasting without water nor food once a week is okay, it is doable
>then i will gradually do the 'not eating nor drinking twice a week',
>I will fast 2 1/2 days a week and then 3 1/2 consecutive days
>this is tough, i feel like i am dying and this is just the first day
>this is amazing, i expected my body will be really tired today the second day
>but the body is slowly adopting to NOT eating nor drinking
>this is something weird
>let's see what happens when i stop eating nor drinking for 3 days
>fuck, my body is adjusting to not eating nor drinking - the body likes it
>I can run fast
>what is happening? I am supposed to be run down by now and dead
>I feel so light - lighter than when i was eating
>I can run so fast, i have never run like that before
>and where does this energy come from?
>when i do not get food to give my body energy
>so all these talk about food being a source of energy is not true?
>or am i missing something?
>i am confused
>I am mesmerized by these new found 'feats'
>if majority of people eats food and i do not eat nor drink
>they should have more energy and i will be dying by now
>but i am alive and energized in a way that i have not felt before
>I must investigate this
>aside from my skin being dehydrated everything is okay
>i do not have a big shit, my shit is like a bird shit
>so this is what happens when one does not eat nor drink
>my body feels energized with just 2 hours of sleep
>and does not want to sleep more
>i have more time to do things i need to do
>that is something that i never felt with all the diets that i had tried
>one has to be very brave and superhuman to try this diet
>first because the hunger is unbearable the first day
>that is tough
>i felt i was going to die
>I felt slowly losing my strength
>and if someone will give up in the first day
>one will not see that the next days after that
>the body adjusts
>that is awesome to see that
>I fear being breatharian completely though
>because whatever happens i will not be supported by any one
>i am scared that i will be alone in this
>and when something happens to me
>no one knows what to do or how to treat me
>because there's not much research done yet about this
>I might die
>I better stop because the man who calls himself 'the beast'
>said this is energetic bullshit
>i don't know why but I will find out why, one day
Pattern Number 13
The Mind of a Mixed Eater
The Mind of a Mixed Eater
>I better just eat everything and stop going from one diet to another
>because i tried different diets and still i cannot understand
>why i feel good in each diet i choose
>breatharianism/not eating made it more difficult
>to see what is best for the body
>because eating and not eating are opposites
>and if i accept both as right it's not logical
>if eating is good then not eating is bad
>and if not eating is good then eating is bad
>what i found out is
>when i was eating different kinds of diets
>i feel it is the best diet
>until i listen to someone saying it is not good
>so change into another diet
>or read something
>that said he/she feels good and looks good because of a diet he/she is in
>so change my diet to whatever diet he/she is in
>I will stop doing that
>i will try this suggestion by this person, 'the beast'
>who is knocking down all diets i had been in
>saying it's the mind behind all these
>so i am going to eat all kinds of food
>i know the body will not like this
>because i know it likes raw food
>but my body feels right with breatharianism too
>in fact i know it is the natural diet of the body
>i was just scared to continue on
>i know my body was so dehydrated
>when i did not eat nor drink for 3 1/2 days
>not one moisturizer worked
>it was only when i put butter on my face and body before having a shower
>that my skin was partly moisturized
>i don't know why this is
>why is butter the only moisturizer my skin responds to
>there's no scientific investigation done on breatharian's skin
>i guess because it contradicts what science stand for
>and science cannot experiment on this
>there's this man who claims he has not eaten for 70 yrs
>who lived in caves
>who was asked to go to a hospital to be tested by doctors and they proved he was not eating
>but is that all they proved?
>Why are they not investigating if people can live without eating?
>i will stop asking questions
>i am just going to eat whatever my body likes
>but how will i know that that's what the body likes ?
>how do i know when it is the mind deciding what i eat?
>I will just see as i go
>I will be able to direct myself within this, i know
>I am getting fat!
>i will just let it be
>i will just let it hang loose
>and not worry about how i look
>because i already did a blog about fear of getting fat
>i have never reached 155 lbs all my life
>this is a disaster
>but that's just the mind
>i know this will happen if i let the mind loose
>because i will eat and eat whatever i like
>i can blame food, fat etc. but that will not help
>I am not taking self-responsibility
>i have to stop this
>this is my fear of taking self-responsibility
>i will just blog and do self forgiveness
>for my desires, for my thoughts etc.
>and correct myself every time i see i am doing that >I can also do a food log
>because i tried different diets and still i cannot understand
>why i feel good in each diet i choose
>breatharianism/not eating made it more difficult
>to see what is best for the body
>because eating and not eating are opposites
>and if i accept both as right it's not logical
>if eating is good then not eating is bad
>and if not eating is good then eating is bad
>what i found out is
>when i was eating different kinds of diets
>i feel it is the best diet
>until i listen to someone saying it is not good
>so change into another diet
>or read something
>that said he/she feels good and looks good because of a diet he/she is in
>so change my diet to whatever diet he/she is in
>I will stop doing that
>i will try this suggestion by this person, 'the beast'
>who is knocking down all diets i had been in
>saying it's the mind behind all these
>so i am going to eat all kinds of food
>i know the body will not like this
>because i know it likes raw food
>but my body feels right with breatharianism too
>in fact i know it is the natural diet of the body
>i was just scared to continue on
>i know my body was so dehydrated
>when i did not eat nor drink for 3 1/2 days
>not one moisturizer worked
>it was only when i put butter on my face and body before having a shower
>that my skin was partly moisturized
>i don't know why this is
>why is butter the only moisturizer my skin responds to
>there's no scientific investigation done on breatharian's skin
>i guess because it contradicts what science stand for
>and science cannot experiment on this
>there's this man who claims he has not eaten for 70 yrs
>who lived in caves
>who was asked to go to a hospital to be tested by doctors and they proved he was not eating
>but is that all they proved?
>Why are they not investigating if people can live without eating?
>i will stop asking questions
>i am just going to eat whatever my body likes
>but how will i know that that's what the body likes ?
>how do i know when it is the mind deciding what i eat?
>I will just see as i go
>I will be able to direct myself within this, i know
>I am getting fat!
>i will just let it be
>i will just let it hang loose
>and not worry about how i look
>because i already did a blog about fear of getting fat
>i have never reached 155 lbs all my life
>this is a disaster
>but that's just the mind
>i know this will happen if i let the mind loose
>because i will eat and eat whatever i like
>i can blame food, fat etc. but that will not help
>I am not taking self-responsibility
>i have to stop this
>this is my fear of taking self-responsibility
>i will just blog and do self forgiveness
>for my desires, for my thoughts etc.
>and correct myself every time i see i am doing that >I can also do a food log
>let me do that
>I do not know how to do an E-book
>but I can learn how to do that
The E-book
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Wednesday, August 15, 2012
Who Am I? The 'Prasadam Food for the Gods ' Character :'Tantric Yogi' Part 2 Day 124: Collective Meal: Sentient Food
Redefining 'I Am That'
'I Am That' Connected To 'I Am Not That'
===
The 'Tantric Yogi' Character Part 1
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within the 'i fear they might not like my food' character' - where i worry about how my food will not be liked by others - and wanting the food i will bring to the collective meal - to taste special - defining myself within the ' i like the prasad to taste special ' character - where after mediation we eat sweets - which was made by any member of the yoga group, AM - which i call brother or sister - defined within the 'brother-sister' character - and sometimes the sweets or 'prasad' were made by the monks - who i call 'didi' when the monk is a woman - which means elder sister and 'dada' when the monk is a man - which means elder brother - defined within the 'didi-dada' character - the 'prasad' or sweets eaten after collective meditation - perceiving food separate from me - judging 'prasad/prasadam' as more special - believing it is food that is infused with spiritual energy because it's put in a room where kirtan or chanting is being done - where it's being offered first to the 'supreme' - defined within supreme and not supreme - special or not special - as the 'supreme consciousness' character - then eaten - believing that food that is not offered first to the 'supreme' is not special -defined within the 'prasad is special' character - where i desire to eat 'prasad' or food - perceived separate from who i am - not realizing that food is here to assist the body to survive - where food and sustenance is seen as an expression of who i am - as equal to all that exist - as we become equal with/as the physical body - and all its organs - through the process of self-perfection - until we stop killing plants and animals for food and profit - and stop the mind .
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within the ' i fear eating food that is not spiritually infused by spiritual vibrations and that is not sentient' character - so desire to go and attend the dharma cakra so i can eat food that is is infused with spiritual vibrations' - defining myself within the 'i like sentient food infused with spiritual vibrations' character - believing that the food we eat after dharma cakra or collective meditation is spiritually infused with spiritual vibrations - where after 'dharma cakra' or group meditation - we partake 'sentient food' together - where 'sentient food' is believed to be food that benefits the mind and the body - which excludes meat, fish, eggs, mushrooms, garlic and onion etc. - defining myself within the 'this food, not that food' character - where i cook vegetarian food that is tasty - hoping that all of the members will like it - defined within the 'i hope you like the food' character - where my starting point in cooking the food is to please everyone - and where the ingredients i put in the food is to make sure i develop a tasty vegetarian dish using ingredients separate from me - defined within the 'how do i make the food tasty' character - where the mind is being pleased - within an alternate reality - as a mind character who wants to please other mind characters in the group - enslaved by desire to cook healthy and tasty food to please the other mind characters that , like me - is also enslaved by their desire for healthy, tasty food - not taking into consideration the reality of me being equal with/as the body - looking at the body's preference with regards to food - and the sustenance i am giving the body - . equal to/as myself. and the food/ingredients - equal to/as myself.
To be continued.in Part 3
To be continued.in Part 3
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
2012: Redefining The Sattvik Diet Part 34 Day 73
Related Blogs
===
According to Wikipedia,
Sentient Diet
A sattvic diet, also referred to as a yoga diet or sentient diet, is a diet based on foods which, according to Ayurveda, Yoga, and Jainism, are strong in the sattva guna, and lead to clarity and equanimity of mind while also being beneficial to the body.
Such foods include water, cereal grains, legumes, vegetables, fruits, nuts, unpasteurized and unhomogenized milk and milk derivatives (mostly ghee, but also butter, cream,cheese, and yogurt), and raw honey.
===
Redefining The Sattvik Diet
Sounds like: Sat - Vive K- nowledge
(Self
A-s 'I' in separa-T-ion from all T-hat is here is trying to be di-V-ine
through ones d-I-et not K-nowing or realizing self is all life )
A Diet that is based from knowledge and information separate
from oneself - where one believes that certain foods have negative,
neutral or positive energy that can affect the mind (the mind which one
separated oneself from), and the body ( the body which one separated
oneself from) - a vegetarian diet without onions, garlic, eggs etc.
believing it is harmful for both mind and body- not realizing that this
is a belief - and when lived manifest what one believes as if it is real
- when it isn't because it was created in ones mind.It has no real
physical existence.One lives according to ones beliefs where one manipulates oneself and manifests those beliefs - where one separates from the the food item one eats - as one identifies as the ego-personality - perceiving oneself separate from all that exist - existing in an unequal monetary system - where plants and animals are killed for food and profit - realizes through ones process of self-perfection that one is equal to all that exist - so a diet that is without sugar - realizing that sugar stimulates the mind (realizing one is equal to ones mind)- eats food that the body accepts and does not eat food that the body rejects (realizing that one is equal to ones body) - until we do not need to kill plants and animals to survive - in a world that is based on equality.
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