2012 Raw Food: Movement Directed by Fear: Day 4

Today i prepared the salads that SL asked me to make. I made different kinds of salads for her. She requested the Kale Salad in particular - so what i did was make different kinds of dressings for the kale salad. I topped it with marinated vegetables and nuts. She said she will come at 6PM - but at about 6:14 she has not showed up yet. I sent her a text message but she did not respond. I called her but her voice mail was full. I was resting when i saw that myself sitting on the couch and the standing up and sitting down again and standing up again - getting some nuts on the counter to eat. This is me using body movements to express fear. I doubted her. I feared she will not come - believing the salads will be wasted and the money i spent in creating those dishes will be wasted. This happened  in my mind. It was not real.

At about 7:56PM, she called and said she's working up to 8:00 PM. She asked me if it's okay to come at that time. I said i will be at home so i will wait for her. She came at about 9:08PM.

I would like to direct this point in this blog. I will be doing self-forgiveness for the thought, for the fear and for doubting her. I will also write a self-correction script so that when and as this happen - i will be able to stop myself from participating.

Self-forgiveness:
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to use body movements to express fear that SL will not come - believing that it is bad to waste the salads when she does not come and it is good to not waste the salad by arriving on time - where i support personality systems moving directed by fear .

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the money i spent to make the salads were wasted - and within this, project my fear into the future - where i support personality systems projecting fear into the future.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to doubt SL - where i support personality systems based on doubt.


Self-corrective Statements:

When and as i see myself using body movements to express fear - i stop - i breathe. I realise that this gives me a feeling that i as the ego-personality moving -directed by my fear - is real - when i am just trapped as the ego-personality moving my body - within abuse - driven by fear - supporting personality systems that use body movements directed by fear in this world. I stop participating because this is not what is best for me - as i will abuse the body - by moving directed by fear - within self sabotage. This is not what is best for all because i will be supporting personality systems - who are moving directed by fear.

When and as i see myself believing that money i spent to make the salads were wasted - projecting my fear into the future - i stop - i breathe. I realize that this gives me a feeling that this has already happened - when it hasn't. I stop participating because this is not what is best for me - as i will sabotage my process this way. This is not what is best for all because if i exist as the personality - i will support the personality systems that project fear onto the future.

When and as i see myself doubting SL - i stop - i breathe. I realize this gives me a feeling that that i as the personality is real - as i generate energy within this mind participation. I stop participation because this is not what is best for me  - as i will sabotage my process. This is not best for all because i will support personality systems based on doubt.