Mind Pattern
>I am stressed
>I better do yoga exercises
>so I will feel relaxed and peaceful
>I feel relaxed, peaceful, calm and healthy after I do yoga
>I wonder how people can live without doing yoga in this world?
Here , there is a desire to have peace and I am being directed by my mind to get the body into different body postures to get 'peace of mind' and relaxation through that.
This is based on a belief (me hearing and reading that yoga is good from the books and discourses by my guru then). I then try to manifest this in physical reality by doing yoga exercises 2x a day.
I was unaware that I was abusing the body through doing yoga postures. I did not see the desire to do yoga postures come from a
fear of being overwhelmed and stressed - which I equated to having pain and suffering. It looks 'positive and healing' while I was doing it. I felt good and relaxed after doing yoga. But what I did not see was that the positive comes from a negative.
My wanting to do yoga started from a fear. This fear is the fear of being overwhelmed and stressed.
It was not about assisting the body. It was about getting relaxed after doing yoga - which makes me feel good,
I have a selfish interest- believing that I look good and healthy when I feel peaceful inside. This was attached to my idea of how I look when I was stressed compared to when I was relaxed/peaceful.
This is not real peace. This is an idea of peace in my mind.
Real peace is not about fighting for peace.
It is about being self-directive and stable when problems come - breathing through them and taking myself by the hand, to release the reactions accumulating within myself where I am able to release the build-up, knowing how I created it and walking myself back to stability.
It is about releasing mind patterns that has mind components like ideas, beliefs and manipulation etc. that,comes up in every moment - being aware that I created them and I am in a position to un-create them.. It is about redefining who I am within the polarized definitions in my mind and living the redefinitions as my story of change.
My definition of
animal meat for example and my definition of
vegetable meat at that time I was doing yoga 2x a day was,
animal meat - not good for my body and mind - disease and death
vegetable meat - good for my body and mind - healthy
My definitions of
yoga then was,
yoga - peaceful and calm, controlled mind
no yoga - easily upset, mind is erratic, reactive
My definitions of meditation then was,
meditation - liberation from suffering and pain
no meditation - suffering and pain
It was clear that I was running away from my fear of suffering and pain, reactions, disease and death.
If we have a look at the meaning of the following words, in the dictionary (Word Web),
Yoga
A system of exercises practiced as part of the Hindu discipline to promote control of the body and mind
Suffering
Feelings of mental or physical pain
Meditation
(religion) contemplation of spiritual matters (usually on religious or philosophical subjects)
Meat
1.The flesh of animals (including fishes and birds and snails) used as food
2.The inner and usually edible part of a seed, grain, nut or fruit stone
These are very different definitions from how I defined it before.
Continued
